How to Act Around Guys

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   Find common ground. One thing you can do around guys is to look for things you have in common so you can get an interesting conversation going. It doesn’t have to be super deep and can be as simple as your mutual affection for Community or your lifelong love for the Cubs. Look at the guy’s clothes, binders, or notebooks for clues about what you may have in common and start a lighthearted discussion about it.

   • You don’t have to find it immediately. If you get a guy talking for a few minutes or more, you’ll be able to latch on to something pretty soon. This is better than coming right out and asking him what all of his favorite bands, hobbies, or movies are, though you can get around to that eventually.
   • You can also check out a guy’s Facebook profile for hints of the stuff he likes, if you’re nervous about striking up a conversation.
   • If you both like the same activities, you might invite him to join you sometime. For instance, if he likes going on hikes, you could invite him to hike with you over the weekend.
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   Be yourself instead of someone else. Though “be yourself” may sound like super corny advice, it can be the best advice you get. If you really want guys to like you and to get to know you, then all you can do is to be the person you were meant to be. Of course, if you want to wait for them to really get to know you or avoid topics that may be more suited for your girlfriends, that’s fine, but you shouldn’t change who you are just to fit an idea of what the guys may expect you to do or say. ^[2]

   • When you talk to a guy, don’t act like a version of a girl you think he might like more, and don’t try to mimic one of the most popular girls in your high school. This won’t get you nearly as far as sharing your true self with others.
   • If you’re more shy, you don’t have to put it all out there at once. Just open up to guys little by little as you become friends with them.
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   Dress in a way that makes you comfortable. You can wear whatever makes you feel good. If you like babydoll dresses, then wear them all you want. If you’re into leggings and long shirts, skirts and tanktops, or jeans and t-shirts, then that’s fine, too. You shouldn’t wear clothes that are tighter or more revealing than you’re comfortable with just to fit an image of what you think guys are into. You’ll look the best when you’re clearly comfortable with what you’re wearing. ^[3]

   • Don’t feel like you’re limited to one style or image, whether you’re more grungy or super girly. You can rock leather jeans one week and a pink babydoll dress the next. What matters is that you feel like yourself in whatever you wear.
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   Be friendly — to everyone. You may think that guys will think you’re cool if you’re mean to people whom you deem unworthy of you or somehow inferior, but in fact, the best thing to do is to be friendly to everyone around unless they give you a reason not to be. Whether you’re talking to the quiet guy in your homeroom for the first time or striking up a conversation with the new guy in school, make a point of having a smile on your face, asking questions, and being friendly. Guys will see that you’re a person they want to be around.

   • If you’re more shy, then you don’t have to suddenly become super outgoing. But you should make an effort to at least smile and wave at people and to introduce yourself to new people when you can.
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   Show a real interest in them. If you want to have a great time hanging out with guys, then you have to show that you really care about them, whether you like them romantically or not. Just show that you care by asking them questions about their lives, complimenting them, looking like you care about how they’re feeling, and making eye contact when you talk to them. Don’t switch the conversation to yourself every chance you get or keep checking your phone when they’re trying to talk to you. Instead, take the time to let them know they matter.

   • Of course, it can be tricky to let a guy know you care about him when you don’t have romantic feelings for him. Just be fun and friendly and make it clear that you’re only looking for friendship.
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   Wow them with your confidence. You may think that every girl but you is feeling confident about who she is, what she does, and how she looks. However, you’d be surprised by just how many girls are plagued by insecurity and try to mask it with a big smile or a mean attitude. You can be better than that. Work on loving the person who you are, being kind to the people around you, and feeling capable of doing anything. ^[4] If you have a positive attitude and a great energy, then guys will like being around you.

   • Don’t talk about how much weight you need to lose or how much you hate being tall. Instead, focus on the things you like about yourself.
   • Of course, it can take years to truly love yourself. But you can take steps in this direction by accepting what you can’t change and working on changing what you can.
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