How to Be Fun to Be With

Co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW

Last Updated: November 1, 2024 Approved

Have people called you a wet blanket, a stick in the mud, or a drag? Do you feel like you just don’t know how to make a social situation more entertaining? If this sounds like you, then don’t worry—all you have to do is work on being more agreeable around other people, be open to poking some fun at yourself, and to get ready for the next adventure. If you make a real effort, then people will go from thinking you’re a drag to calling you the life of the party.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Being Fun

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1
Relax. People like to feel safe and comfortable with their friends, and always ready to have fun. You want to give off the vibe that you’re comfortable with goofing around and also letting others have a good time. So chill out and you'll make everyone else chilled out, too.
- Give people a quick compliment. This will show them that you care and that you’re paying attention.
- Laugh a lot. Have open, relaxed, body language. Show people that you’re up for anything.
- Try to loosen up as much as possible. If you're tense, your friends will be too. Cut loose!
2
Pay attention to your friends. Make eye contact, put away your phone, and make people around you feel important. If you look distracted and like you have a million other things on your mind, then people won’t be able to let loose and have fun around you. ^{[1]
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Research source}
- Look at people with approval. Don’t make them think you’re condescending or judging them, or they’ll be much less likely to open up around you.
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3
Crack lots of jokes. If you're unafraid of how silly or ridiculous you look, people will want to hang around you. Here are some ways you can be a total goofball:
- Do your best (or worst) impression of someone you all know, whether it’s a teacher or a coworker.
- Dance like a complete fool, pretending like you think you’re the best dancer ever.
- Sing the words to your favorite embarrassing song.
- Wear a ridiculous outfit, or a graphic tee with a silly message.
- Don’t be afraid to tell a corny joke or make a silly pun.
4
Go on adventures. If you've never done something before, that's a good reason to try it! Be spontaneous and try something new instead of making excuses. If you're the one coming up with the fun ideas to try new things, your friends will think you're fun to be around. ^{[2]
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Research source}
- Say "yes" more. Instead of saying, “No, because…” try to embrace new challenges and try new things.
- Check out the last section for some ideas about fun things to do with your friends.
5
Keep things positive. Though we all have our bad days, you should focus on talking about the good things in your life and the things you have to look forward to instead of the annoying little things that upset you. This sets a positive tone for your social interactions and makes people want to be around you more. ^{[3]
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Research source}
- If you catch yourself saying something negative, try to counter your comment with two positive comments.
- If the people around you are bummed out, then you should work on trying to cheer them up instead of sinking down to their level.
- You don’t have to completely fake it and plaster a fake smile on your face if you had a terrible day. However, you should make an effort to be more positive if you’re just mildly annoyed or if you know that whatever is bothering you isn’t a big deal. ^{[4]
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  Research source}
- If you're having a really bad day, just mention it and move forward with a positive comment. Say, "Today's been rough, but I'm staying positive!"
6
Bring your friends together. In a group, try to make sure that most people like each other or at least get to know each other. Be a uniter, making the people around you bond and become closer with each other, even if it’s at your expense.
- Be subtle about it. If you’re with two people who feel like they have nothing in common, bring up a mutual interest that can help them bond.
- If you have two friends who don’t really get along, mention nice things about one person to the other that will make them more likely to get along.
- Help people bond by suggesting fun activities that everyone can agree on, such as bowling or playing Red Rover. The more fun the activity, the better.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Saying the Right Thing

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1
Ask people lots of entertaining questions. Get conversations started. ^{[5]
X
Research source} You don’t have to pry too much to ask some fun conversation starter questions and to make people feel comfortable and happy about opening up. Here are some things you can ask people about:
- An embarrassing moment they had as a kid
- A funny comedy sketch or show they saw recently
- A time when they really messed up or got in trouble
- A time when their first impressions were completely wrong
- The strangest place they ever visited
2
Don’t complain too much. Unless your rants are funny, it's best to keep things positive. Nobody likes a complainer or a downer. ^{[6]
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Research source} This can make your friends think that you’re no fun at all. If something is really bothering you, then write it down or tell a close friend, but avoid complaining loudly in a group setting if you want to be fun.
- Don't let other people complain too much, either. If other people around you are complaining too much, try to poke fun at the topic and steer the conversation in a more positive direction that is more likely to make people have fun.
3
Open up with people. Fun people are comfortable with themselves and are happy to share personal experiences and ideas. ^{[7]
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Research source} If you open up, then the people around you will be more likely to open up, too, and you’ll create an environment that is more fun and welcoming. Here are some things you can open up about:
- Funny moments in your childhood
- A time when you made a fool of yourself
- A botched attempt at romance
- Your relationship with a friend or relative who always cracks you up
- A ridiculous summer job you once had
- A blind date that went poorly
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A lighthearted approach makes conversations more fun. That's why it's so helpful to be genuinely curious about who you talk to and share engaging things about yourself.
4
Make fun of yourself. Don't take yourself too seriously. If this means you have to open yourself to being the butt of a few jokes or clown around a bit, it can be a good time. ^{[8]
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Research source} Doing this will make other people more likely to loosen up a bit, also leading to a more fun situation.
- Tell a funny story about something you did earlier that day that could make other people crack up. If you made an awkward comment, spilled coffee all over yourself, or made people stare at you for some reason, share the story all in good fun.
- If you trip or say something ridiculous by accident, don’t act all flustered, like you’re worried about looking like a weirdo. Instead, laugh at yourself and say something along the lines of, “There I go again!”

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Doing Fun Things

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1
Meet new people. Whether you’re introducing yourself to a cute barista or just meeting some new interesting people at a coffee shop, the key to being fun is being up for whatever a new person has to say. This is the only way to open up yourself to new people and experiences and to have even more fun in the process. ^{[9]
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Research source}
- Even if the person is completely different from you, you should have fun and embrace those differences instead of just staying in your comfort zone.
- Every person has something to teach you and the more people you know, the more knowledge you can gain. Don’t ever look at a new person as not a worthy investment or a waste of your time.
- Just say hi, introduce yourself, and ask the person a question or two about himself. You can keep the tone lighthearted as you get to know the person better.
2
Explore a new part of your city or neighborhood. Be on the lookout for fun new activities in the place where you live, whether it’s a bocce tournament, a folk singing competition, or a vegan food festival. Search for new opportunities in new part of your town you haven’t seen before and invite your friends to join you, seeing it all as a new adventure.
- If the event makes you feel completely out of your comfort zone, whether it’s a pig roast or a poetry slam, then all the better. Think of all of the new and exciting people you can meet when you try something that feels completely different to you.
- Encourage your friends to be adventurous with you. Let them know that it’s fun to try something new.
3
Step out of your comfort zone. Whether you try to learn a new language or run a 5K, trying to push yourself to try new and exciting things will make you a more fun person. The more things you know how to do, the more dynamic of a person you’ll be, which means the more experiences you’ll have to share with the people around you. ^{[10]
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Research source} Try the following:
- Juggling
- Ballroom, hip-hop, or belly dancing
- Making pasta from scratch
- Taking an improv or theatre class
- Learn basic gymnastics tricks
- Learn card tricks
- Learn to read tarot cards
4
Dance even if you don’t know how. Whether you’re dancing by yourself like a goofball at a party, hitting the dance floor with your friends to do a coordinated dance you don’t quite know how to do, or moving around the dance floor with your partner, the most important thing is that you put yourself out there and have fun.
- If you flail your limbs, belt out the lyrics to your favorite song, and toss your hair back, then other people will be having fun around you.
- Encourage people to come out on the dance floor with you. Drag your wallflower friends out and show them how much fun they can have.
5
Conquer your fears. ^{[11]
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Research source} Whether you’re afraid of heights, clowns, or tiny dogs, spend some time trying to work through your fear and to step out stronger on the other side. You’ll be surprised by what you’re capable of.
- Make a habit of accepting more invitations to do new things. Though you may have been turning down your friend who is an avid hiker or avid oil painter because you’ve never tried these activities, you should say yes and see how much you can do the next time.
- The next time you’re out at a party or social gathering, scan the crowd for the person you think you’ll have the least in common with. Introduce yourself to that person to see how much you’ll learn.
- If someone at a show asks for a volunteer, don’t be afraid to raise your hand. Get loud and crazy at your favorite concert. Wear a crazy outfit that makes you feel good. Sign up to sing your favorite karaoke song even if you’re tone deaf. Throw a ridiculous themed party. Be fun!

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Question

How can I make my relationship more fun?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

You can make it more fun by using more humor, saying "yes" to new things, and smiling more. Focus on the other person's interests and hobbies and avoid only talking about your own friends and activities.

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Question

How can I be a perfect girlfriend?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

You don't need to be perfect, just be sincere and put in a good, honest effort. Trying to be perfect will always make you feel like you fall short. Take a step back and appreciate the ways you are a good or good enough girlfriend. Then you can build on that in small ways.

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Question

How can I be a fun texter?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

You can forward fun pics or features you see online. Include a circle of friends in the text—someone is bound to appreciate your effort and respond. Make sure you respond to other people's texts, even just with an emoji.

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Tips

Avoid gossiping or spreading rumors. ^{[12]
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Research source} These aid nobody and can damage your reputation as someone who is easy and fun to be around. It's hard to have fun when you think someone is just going to turn around and tell tales on you.

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Treat people in the way that you would like to be treated. ^{[13]
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Do not over do it with your jokes, you may hurt someone's feelings. ^{[14]
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Warnings

Don't laugh at people. Laugh with them. It's good to laugh at yourself, though. You have to in order to stay happy through your mistakes and failures.

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Don't alienate your own current friends because they are the best ones you have. Keep them in your life too or they WILL be offended.

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Don't only pay attention to being fun. You need to keep a more serious side and let it show at appropriate times too. If your friend is asking you for support through hard times, you need to take that as your responsibility and show them that you're a friend worth keeping. Same thing goes with your parents--show them that you deserve more freedom by trusting what they say and being responsible.

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If you are really close, obvious flirtatious teasing is all right. But if you are just getting to know someone, start off polite.

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Don't try to make people think you are fun. It comes off as phony and pushy.

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Be aware that the kind of fun you're having is healthy, legal, and doesn't cause anyone any harm, including yourself.

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How to Be Fun to Be With

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Being Fun

Saying the Right Thing

Doing Fun Things

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