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Being irresistible to members of the opposite sex is about accentuating every one of your strengths -- whether they're mental, physical or emotional -- and having the confidence to go after what you want. Remember that being irresistible is less about them and more about you, so focus on yourself first. Be the best you that you can be and the men will soon come flocking!
Steps
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Be confident . Confidence is one of the most irresistible personality traits a woman can have, so the first step to being irresistible is to learn to love yourself, [1] X Research source warts and all! [2] X Research source
- Think about it -- how can you expect a man to think you're beautiful, smart and cool if you don't believe that you're beautiful, smart and cool?
- Stop worrying about your flaws and focus on all of the things you like about yourself -- make a list or repeat positive affirmations if it helps!
- Another good tip is to "fake it til you make it." This means pretending that you're full of confidence even if you feel shy or nervous inside. Eventually the confidence will come naturally! [3] X Research source
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Be humorous . Having a good sense of humor is always a good thing, especially on the dating scene. Nobody wants a Serious Sally. [4] X Research source Plus, you'll look more attractive when you're laughing or smiling.
- Having a good sense of humor doesn't mean that you have to be a stand-up comedian (although the ability to make a guy laugh is a bonus). You should at least be able to laugh at yourself and not take life too seriously.
- Imagine a guy accidentally spills his drink on you. Do you scream at him for ruining your dress, then storm away? Or do you laugh it off and tell him he can buy you a drink to make it up to you? Which version do you think a guy would find more attractive? (Hint: It's the second one.)
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Be nice . Sometimes girls think that acting mysterious and aloof will make them irresistible to men, but this is misguided. [5] X Research source If you want a man who's kind-hearted and genuine, it's safer to play nice.
- Being nice means being polite and courteous and not treating a would-be suitor like something you'd wipe off the bottom of your shoe (unless the guy's being a total jerk).
- If you end up in a conversation with a guy, try to avoid talking about yourself all the time. Express an interest in him and try to really listen to what he's saying. This boosts his ego, unconsciously making him more attracted to you!
- Even if you're not interested, you should try to turn the guy down gently. [6]
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Expert Source
Connell Barrett
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019. Think about how you'd like to be treated if the situation was reversed. [7] X Research source
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Be smart . Let's get one thing straight -- you should never, ever dumb yourself down just to make yourself more attractive to a guy.
- This tactic just isn't going to attract the right kind of guy, because any man worth his salt finds intelligence attractive, or even a turn-on!
- The right guy will be attracted to your sharp wits, he will appreciate your ability to hold a meaningful conversation and be genuinely interested in your opinion. So don't just sit there with a vacant expression, nodding like a bobblehead!
- If you feel like you need to give your conversational skills a boost, the best thing you can do is be informed about current events -- try reading a newspaper or watching the news (if you don't already) and you'll never find yourself short on conversation material
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Be yourself . You've heard it a million times before - be yourself, be yourself, be yourself. [8] X Research source Well, you're gonna hear it one more time, because it really is so important - be yourself! [9] X Research source
- Don't try to play a certain persona just because you think it'll make you more attractive. This rarely works and will just end up being exhausting. Besides, if you think a guy wouldn't like the real you, then what's the point? It's never going to go anywhere!
- Of course, it's okay to embellish the truth a little when it comes to small things -- "Sure, I love the Red Sox!" "Yes, I go rock climbing every weekend!" As long as you're not outright lying, a little exaggeration is acceptable for the sake of good conversation.
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Quiz
wikiHow Quiz: Does He Like Me?
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Wear clothes you feel comfortable in. There's no denying it; what you wear is important -- it tells the world how you want to be seen. [10] X Research source
- Therefore, it's important to wear clothes that you feel comfortable in -- that express your personality while also making you feel attractive.
- Men aren't solely interested in girls who get dolled up to the nines, wearing skin-tight dresses and teetering around in high heels -- although this isn't a bad thing either!
- The right guy will be irresistibly attracted to a women who feels comfortable in her own skin, no matter what she's wearing -- a high-powered business suit or paint-splattered overalls.
- However, it doesn't hurt to take pride in your appearance by wearing clothes that highlight your best assets -- whether that's your bright, green eyes, your petite waist or your curvaceous booty.
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Do your make-up. Make-up is a fantastic tool for highlighting your best features, covering up blemishes and generally helping you to feel more confident about your appearance. [11] X Research source
- The right foundation can cover up a multitude of skin issues -- from acne and redness, to dark spots and under-eye circles. A little contouring can slim a round face, or elongate a short one. Some expertly applied mascara can open your eyes, making them look bigger and brighter. The list goes on.
- Make-up shouldn't be plastered on like a mask -- it should be used to highlight your best features and camouflage the ones you're less proud off. And remember -- it's not the make-up itself that will make you more irresistible to men -- it's the confidence that wearing it gives you!
- Of course, if you're not a regular make-up wearer and you feel perfectly happy going bare-faced, we're not telling you to do otherwise! Good for you!
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Style your hair. Beautiful, shiny, well-tended hair can be a big turn-on for guys, so it's important to give it adequate attention. [12] X Research source
- First and foremost, make an effort to have freshly-washed hair as often as possible. Can you imagine running into the guy of your dreams on a greasy hair day? Mortifying. If you lead a very busy lifestyle, try carrying a can of dry shampoo around in your handbag -- then you can give it a quick spritz in times of emergency.
- Get your hair cut regularly, so it looks healthy and well-maintained rather than scraggly and unkempt. If you have color in your hair, don't wait too long between appointments -- you don't want your roots showing! [13] X Research source
- Experiment with different styles to find a look that works for you and highlights your best features. Could you rock a pixie cut? Or be an ombré-haired goddess? Ask your stylist for some ideas if you're unsure.
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Smell delicious. Of course, you shouldn't just look good, you should try to appeal to as many of a man's senses as possible! That's why finding your signature scent and smelling irresistibly delicious is so important! [14] X Research source
- Obviously the first step to smelling great is taking care of personal hygiene . Find some nice smelling shower gel to use during your daily shower and rub on a matching lotion afterwards -- this will help the fragrance to last longer.
- Choose a fragrance that matches both your personality and the time of year -- do you want light and fruity, warm and floral, or musky and rich? Don't make a snap decision when it comes to perfume, go to the store and test a sample. Wear it throughout the day to see how the scent develops. If you still like it by the end of the day, you can feel confident about your purchase.
- Don't go overboard when it comes to application -- you don't want a guy to be overpowered by the scent. Apply just a small dab on each of your pulse points -- the inside of your wrists, behind your ears, in the crook of your elbows and on your inner thighs. Then he'll get an alluring whiff whenever you walk by!
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Be fit. You don't need to be a size two to attract a guy, but you do need to take care of yourself and pay attention to your health. [15] X Research source
- Men are irresistibly attracted to confident women who feel happy and healthy in their own skin -- it's a fact.
- So when you're pushing yourself to run that last mile or trying to convince yourself to order a salad instead of a pizza, think about your dream guy -- that should provide some motivation.
- Try to find an activity that you enjoy, then the exercise benefits will just be an added bonus. Take up a dance class, do horse riding, learn how to surf -- anything that gets you excited and motivated. This will also give you something interesting to talk about when you're chatting to guys!
- Remember that attracting a guy isn't the only or even the best reason to eat well and exercise (you should do it for you ), but if that's what gets you motivated, so be it.
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Smile a lot. Dating coach Connell Barrett stresses that smiling is an essential part of good flirting . [16] X Research source Studies have shown that smiling makes you more attractive to the opposite sex -- so what are you waiting for? Flash those pearly whites!
- Smiling and laughing also makes you seem much more approachable to men. Which is good if you've been dying for that guy across the bar to come over and talk to you!
- Smiling will also make you feel happier and more confident, two very important feeling when it comes to flirting.
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Make eye contact. Dating coach Connell Barrett agrees that this gesture is a definite sign of interest. [17] X Research source Making and holding eye contact is a classic flirting technique which is as effective now as it was hundreds of years ago! [18] X Research source
- There's something intimate about looking a person directly in the eyes, so making eye contact is a good way to communicate your interest without saying a word.
- One trick that guys find particularly irresistible is to stare at the object of your interest until they catch you looking. Hold eye contact for a moment, then smile and look away (while blushing , if possible). He'll be hooked!
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Be a good conversationalist. No matter how beautiful you look, how good you smell or how bright your smile, you won't be able to hold a guy's attention for long if you can't hold your own in a conversation . [19] X Research source
- Ask lots of questions -- this gets the guy talking about himself and gives him a chance to show off, which men love. It also prevents you from talking about yourself too much, which can come off as self-centered.
- When you're talking, try to drop the guy's name into the conversation as much as possible. As simple as it sounds, this is actually a big turn-on for guys and creates a sense of intimacy between you.
- Try to find some common ground, whether it's a love of black and white movies or a passion for your local ice hockey team. This shows him that you're compatible with one another and will allow the conversation to flow more easily.
- Reader Poll: We asked 419 wikiHow readers what communication skills they found magnetic and irresistible, and only 9% of them said Being articulate. [Take Poll] So, don't worry if you get a little tongue-tied from time to time.
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Break the touch barrier. Dating coach Connell Barrett agrees that subtle, playful touches are a great way to show interest. [20] X Research source If you've got a good conversation going with your man of interest, you can reel him in even further by breaking the touch barrier .
- By making physical contact, you're signalling your interest while also setting his senses tingling and making him want you even more.
- The contact can be very subtle -- a light touch on the arm or shoulder, an "accidental" brush of your hand against his, or a gentle lean against his shoulder.
- If you're feeling really bold, you can be a little more forthcoming by pretending to fix his collar, tie or hair so you can brush your fingers against his neck or forehead. This also gives you an excuse to get a little closer to him, so take advantage by smiling and making eye contact as you make your move.
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Leave him wanting more. One of the most important tricks when it comes to flirting is to always leave the guy wanting more. This makes you a little bit mysterious and unattainable and allows the guy to experience the thrill of the chase.
- Don't wait until the conversation becomes awkward or boring, try to leave things on a high note. This will require some serious self-control, but the results will be worth it.
- Take some initiative and give the guy your number before you leave. You can write it on a scrap of paper and slip it into his pocket, or you can grab his phone and enter it into your contacts. Men love forward-thinking women who are willing to go after what they want. [21] X Research source
- As you leave, lean in towards him as if for a kiss, but at the last minute turn your head and whisper "I had a great time" in his ear. With those words you'll have him wrapped around your little finger and he won't be able to resist calling you for a date!
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I make a guy interested in me?Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."Try showing your interest in him with your body language. Make eye contact with him and smile. If you're talking with him, try touching his arm and copying his body language as well.
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Tips
- Keep gum or mints handy.Thanks
- When a guy gives a compliment, accept it gracefully and don't deny it. A simple thank you works.Thanks
- Guys like it when you laugh at their jokes, even if they're not funny. Just don't laugh at all of them or you'll come off as clingy.Thanks
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Warnings
- Be careful not to be a clingy person, those who are will only come off as annoying. [22] X Research sourceThanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-love/201105/how-love-yourself-first
- ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13848/5-things-confident-women-do-differently.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201606/when-fake-it-till-you-make-it-and-when-you-shouldnt
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-be-funny/
- ↑ https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/most-men-just-want-a-woman-whos-nice
- ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
- ↑ https://lifehacker.com/how-to-turn-down-a-date-gracefully-1708236305
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201810/how-be-yourself-in-five-simple-steps
- ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/what-it-means-to-just-be-yourself-and-how-to-do-it/
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/want-your-clothes-to-help-you-feel-confident-and-empowered-just-answer-this-1-qu.html
- ↑ https://www.self.com/story/how-i-apply-my-makeup-every-day
- ↑ https://www.liveabout.com/how-to-style-hair-13-tricks-every-woman-should-know-346300
- ↑ https://www.liveabout.com/how-often-should-you-cut-your-hair-3517665
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/2014/12/guide-to-finding-your-signature-scent.html
- ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-20819/12-habits-of-fit-healthy-women.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
- ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/eye_contact_dont_make_these_mistakes
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201712/10-must-know-tips-making-better-conversations
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
- ↑ https://www.luvze.com/how-to-give-a-guy-your-number/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201208/who-wants-be-needy-six-solutions
About This Article
Article Summary
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To be irresistible to men, stop worrying about your flaws and focus on your good points, since confidence is sexy. Also, smile as much as you can, because it makes you more attractive and approachable. When you’re talking to a man, engage in relevant, meaningful conversations about things like music or current events to show him how intelligent and interesting you are. If you’re going out, wear clothes that make you feel confident, and take extra care with your hair and makeup to bring out your best features. For tips on how to make eye contact with a man so that it’s flirtatious and not awkward, read on!
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- "I was always known as the stereotypical nice girl. I was often called a goody two-shoes or teachers pet, but i was naturally just bubbly and kind. I purposefully grew out of that, and read other magazines that said you should be more mysterious or sassy. That didn't work, and then I found this. It reminded me to be myself and that the right kind of guy will like the polite, smiley girl. Thanks!" ..." more
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"I was always known as the stereotypical nice girl. I was often called a goody two-shoes or teachers pet, but i was naturally just bubbly and kind. I purposefully grew out of that, and read other magazines that said you should be more mysterious or sassy. That didn't work, and then I found this. It reminded me to be myself and that the right kind of guy will like the polite, smiley girl. Thanks!"
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"The "be yourself" thing stood out a lot, because I always pretend to be someone I'm not when talking to people. I'm also not really sure why I was reading this because I'm pansexual and don't really like guys much, but I can see how this could help other girls."
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