How to Be Romantic on the Phone

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: December 4, 2023 References

Want to have a romantic conversation but aren't quite sure what to say? Whether you're in a long-distance relationship or just want to turn up the heat with your crush, you're in the right place. We've got all the best tips on how to talk romantically over the phone. Plus, we'll teach you how to send flirty texts that'll keep your SO coming back for more.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Having Romantic Conversations

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1
Tell your partner what you like. Want to romance your partner on the phone? Compliment them . Tell them you can't stop thinking about something that you like in particular. Compliment something specific and unique to your partner.
- Compliment their personality. Say, "I love talking to you. You always crack me up."
- Compliment their looks . Say, "I can't stop thinking about your eyes. Miss you."
- Compliment their talents. Say, "You kiss me so well, it's driving me crazy that I can't do it right now."
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2
Plan dates that you'll go on. If you can't be together right now, the least you can do is plan what you'll do when you're together in the future. Talk about dates that you'd like to go on, both exotic and local.
- Plan a dream vacation together on the phone and let yourselves dream a little. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? The beach? A cruise? The mountains? Plan it all out.
- Plan some everyday dates as well. Talk about how you want to hit up the restaurant around the corner and snuggle in on the couch. Just talk about your lives together.
- One good way of ramping up the sexual tension is to talk about what you'll do later tonight. Tell your lover exactly what you plan on doing. In detail.
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3
Talk about great times you've had together. Another good way to spend your quality phone time together is to reminisce. Talk about the great dates you've been on before, or the great things that you've done together. ^{[1]
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- Talk about the first time you met, or the first thing that you noticed about your partner. It's always good to remember the early stages of your relationship together.
- Another great way to build the sexual tension? Reminisce about the things you did a few nights ago. Tell your partner what mind-blowing moves they have, to be sure they get repeated.
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4
Fantasize together. Sometimes, the phone can be a great opportunity to talk about things that you might normally find it awkward to talk about in person. If you're chatting on the phone, it might be easier to engage in a little risqué chat about your sex life. Talk about things you want to explore with your partner, and talk about what turns you on.
- If you're not sexually active yet, and even if you are, having phone sex can be a new outlet to explore together.
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5
Set regular phone dates. If you have to be apart regularly, it's a good idea to have a regular phone date at a set time, so you can still feel like you've got quality time that you're spending together. Set a half hour or an hour each day so you can catch each other up on your days, talk about the future, and spend a little time talking. ^{[2]
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- You might want to talk every day, or you might not. If you have to be apart for long periods of time, talk with your partner to find out how much phone conversing you both need.
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6
Do something together on the phone. One great way to spend a phone date is to make a plan to do the same activity while you're talking on the phone together. Plan a fun and easy activity that you can do around the house, and just chat on the speaker phone while you do it. It'll be almost like you're together, even if you're not. ^{[3]
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- Watch the same episode of your favorite TV show, or a big game, and talk about it while you're on the phone. Cue up your favorite movie. Even if you have to be quiet most of the time, it'll be almost like you're together. ^{[4]
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- Try out a recipe together and try to make it at the same time. Talk each other through it and laugh at your successes and failures. Text each other pictures of the end results when you're done and see who made it better.
- If you can, Skype or other video-chatting makes this even better. Even if you're not saying anything, it'll be like you're in the room together.
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7
Just be together on the phone. Even if there's really nothing to talk about, just having your partner on the line can be a romantic gesture . Even if there are long periods of silence, it can be comforting and romantic to know that you're both together, even though you might be miles apart. Talk before you fall asleep and keep the phone on your pillow. ^{[5]
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- Make sure you're in the same network if you're going to spend loads of time just listening to each other breathe. This can be a romantic gesture, or just a huge waste of money and minutes.
EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

The best thing you can do on the phone is listen. If you're talking to your girlfriend, all she really wants is to know that you're listening and actually hear her. That's why she's in a relationship with you — to be heard on every level, listened to, and understood.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Sending Romantic Texts

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1
Let your partner know you're thinking of them throughout the day. If you have to be apart and can't have an actual phone conversation, just sending a short "Thinking of you" text can be great way to remind your partner that you care. Here are a few romantic texts you can send through the day: ^{[6]
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- "You looked beautiful this morning. Can't get you out of my head."
- "Can't wait to see you later today! Counting the minutes."
- "Guy at work keeps talking about his cats. Miss you."
- "I've been thinking about last night all day. Can't wait to do that again."
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2
Encourage your partner through the day. If you know your partner's going to have a rough day at work or school, send them encouragement throughout the day. This helps to remind your partner that you're in their corner, and that you care about them. Be a helpful voice with the following kinds of texts: ^{[7]
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- "You're going to kill that presentation, I just know it. Good luck!"
- "Good luck with the test! Thinking of you!"
- "Only three more hours left till you get to come home."
- "It's almost Friday! You can do it!"
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3
Update each other on how things are going. When you're apart throughout the day, it's always nice to know what your partner is up to. Ask for updates on how they're doing and let your partner know how your day is going as well, with a reasonable number of text messages. Just keep each other up to date:
- "Just finished my essay. Yikes. At least it's done? Can't wait to see you tonight and blow off some steam..."
- "It's such a beautiful day on campus! Flowers! Birds! Wish you were here to see it."
- "I got to work and Jim had eaten the last donut and drank the last of the coffee and now I'm just looking at Buzzfeed and wasting time. What are you doing?"
- "Everyone on the train looks grim this morning. Monday. How's yours going?"
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4
Plan a date on the fly. When you're out and about and a date occurs to you, send a quick text to your partner to see if they'll be up for it. This is usually good for dates with someone that you've had dates before, not a first date. It's an easy and quick way to get in touch and plan something:
- "When you get home from work, I'll bring you pizza?"
- "I'm downtown later. Meet me for a drink at our spot?"
- "I'm having the worst day. Here's what I'm thinking for later: You. Me. Some wine. A dark room....and Empire Strikes Back on the new Blu-Ray. Yes?"
- "It's a beautiful day. Let's meet in the park and go for a walk!"
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5
Send pictures. If you're looking good, send your partner a picture to let them drool. If you see something funny while you're walking around, send it to your partner to let them laugh with you. Sending pictures can be a fun, easy, and quick way to keep in touch without having to do a whole lot of work. ^{[8]
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- Be careful with sending picture messages that are x-rated. Make sure you know and trust the person you send pictures to, and remember that it's never romantic to send unsolicited naked pictures, and it can be dangerous.
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A few texts a day can be great, but make sure you save some stuff to talk about in real life, too. Your dates might get kind of slow if you blow it all talking via text. Some people will enjoy sending hundreds of text messages a day, while others will be annoyed by the constant contact. Every relationship will be different. Find out about how much your partner texts and try to keep it within bounds. Don't annoy each other. ^{[9]
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