What to Do If You Pee Yourself in Public: Immediate Steps + Prevention Tips

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Insight from an expert on dealing with urinary incontinence
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Wetting yourself in public is far more common than people realize, whether due to situational or medical reasons. That being said, bathroom accidents can still lead to stress and embarrassment, especially for adults. If you’ve peed yourself in public, do your best to stay calm and remind yourself that accidents happen. Efficiently dealing with the situation may seem difficult, but it's definitely possible. With the help of board-certified psychiatrist Kirsten Thompson, MD, we’ll walk you through immediate steps to take after wetting yourself in public, as well as how to prevent this issue from happening again in the future.

How to Hide That You Peed Yourself

  1. Calmly and quickly find the nearest bathroom or private area.
  2. Use soap, water, paper towels, or a hand dryer to clean and dry yourself off.
  3. Tie a jacket around your waist or text a friend for a change of clothes.
Section 1 of 5:

How to Conceal the Accident

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  1. “Find something you can use to cover” the wet spot, instructs Dr. Thompson. [1] Find materials on and around you that will make the wet spot less visible. Don't be afraid to get a little creative—look for a sweater to wrap around your waist or a purse, bag, or hat that you can place over your lap area.
    • You can also use your body to hide the spot to the best of your ability. Change up your posture or discreetly place your hands over the most visible areas.
    • If there are any liquids nearby (e.g., juice, soda, etc.), consider “accidentally” spilling them on top of the wet spot to conceal it. The new liquid will cover up any smell or stain and provide a credible excuse for why you have a wet spot on your pants (but may further stain your clothing).
    • Take a deep breath. The best way to discreetly handle this situation is to do so calmly and without bringing too much attention to the situation. Take a few long, deep breaths (if needed) to calm yourself down before proceeding.
  2. If someone notices the wet spot and points it out or asks what happened, offer a simple and rational excuse like “I sat in something” or “I spilled something.” Avoid rambling—the more detailed explanation that you offer, the more questionable it will seem.
    • The truth is never a bad option, especially if it’s obvious what has happened—urinary incontinence is more common than you might think, and most people will understand and be willing to help you out if you’ve had an accident.
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  3. Draw attention to something that is away from you and make your escape. Ask the people around you what you think is happening across the room, or make an outlandish statement that will require them to look away before they answer. Here are some examples of potential phrases you could use to create a distraction:
    • “What kind of food are they serving?”
    • “Why are Anna and Ben hugging? I thought they got a divorce.”
    • “Look, Jennifer Lopez's new music video is on!”
    • “That guy really doesn't know how to play basketball.”
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Section 2 of 5:

How to Clean Up Discreetly

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  1. “Try to remove yourself from crowded areas,” advises Dr. Thompson. [2] Casually look around and go to the closest bathroom—once there, you’ll be able to privately and calmly analyze and deal with the situation. Walk casually to the bathroom and try to draw as little attention to yourself as possible.
    • If you can’t find a bathroom, look for any other sort of private room or space where you could clean up.
    • “Even if it feels a bit uncomfortable, if you are with someone you trust, it may help to employ their help,” says Dr. Thompson. [3] They may be able to cover you as you walk to the bathroom and they’ll likely be able to help you clean up in the bathroom as well.
    • If you know that a friend is nearby, call or text them once you get to the bathroom. They can provide you with clothes, towels, a hair dryer, or any other items that you need that you can’t get yourself.
    • If you can't find someone else to rely on, remember that you are your best ally. Trust in your capabilities that you can get through the situation independently and successfully.
  2. You may find that the spot isn’t very large or visible—in these cases, you may be able to just leave it for now or use a bathroom hand dryer to dry it out sufficiently. If you do need to thoroughly clean the spot, however, use whatever you can find in the private space that you’re in. Most bathrooms will have soap, water, and paper towels—remove the damp item and scrub it with soap and cold water in the sink (cold water is more effective for urine stains than warm water). [4]
    • Then, soak up the moisture with paper towels or a hand dryer. The quicker you address the stain, the easier it’ll be to remove. [5]
    • If you feel uncomfortable removing any clothing, scrub out the urine as best you can and dry afterward with your clothing still on. A simple excuse of “I spilled something on myself” would also serve as an understandable explanation.
    • If you have any on hand, use perfume, aftershave, or a body spray to cover up any potential odor.
    • If you are wearing dark-colored pants or leggings, the wetness may not be noticeable!
  3. Use soap and water to clean off any areas of skin that came into contact with the urine. Cleaning the urine off of your skin as soon as possible can help you avoid odors and the spread of bacteria. [6]
  4. If you have a sweater or jacket with you, tie that around your waist to cover up the spot until you can get new clothing. Then, do whatever you can to get a change of clothes, especially if you weren’t able to effectively clean the urine spot. Text or call a friend to bring you a change of bottoms, slip back to your hotel or home if it's close by, or pick something up from a nearby shop.
  5. If your accident pooled on the ground or a chair, soak it up with a towel or rag. Grab a handful of paper towels or toilet paper from the bathroom. Lightly wet some of them with a little soap and water, but keep the rest dry. Soak up the mess with some dry towels, wipe it down with the wet towels, and dry the spot with the remaining dry towels.
    • In order to do this discreetly, use a foot to wipe down the mess if needed. If someone notices, use a credible excuse like you spilled some juice or water.
    • Dump the dirty towels back in the bathroom trash and thoroughly wash your hands with soap and water.
  6. If you accidentally wet yourself while at a large event or party, you may choose not to return to the event after cleaning yourself up. If this is the case, just be sure to let someone know that you’re heading home so that they don’t ask after you. You could say that something came up at home or that you’re not feeling well, and no one will be the wiser!
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Section 3 of 5:

How to Deal with Embarrassment

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  1. No matter how minuscule or grand the situation is, you may find yourself going into a stressful panic mode. If you’re feeling yourself start to panic, breathe deeply with your diaphragm and distract yourself with little games like counting the outlets in the room or which objects are the color blue. [7] If it helps, remember that going into panic mode will only draw more attention to a bathroom accident that could’ve otherwise gone unnoticed.
    • It’s possible that the accident was induced by stress in the first place (a situation called Stress Urinary Continence), so avoiding placing any additional stress on yourself may help. [8]
    • “Most of the stress and embarrassment in accidentally wetting yourself in public comes from the thought that others may see it, not necessarily from the accident itself,” explains Dr. Thompson. [9]
    • “A good reminder to keep in mind in any embarrassing moment taking place in public,” continues Dr. Thompson, “is that you will likely never see the people around you ever again. So, try to find solace in knowing that their thoughts are temporary and irrelevant.” [10]
  2. You might find yourself in a situation where everyone in the room has watched you wet yourself, but if you don't let it bother you then it won't bother others. Do your best to laugh it off—emotions are contagious. If you express shame, sadness, or stress, those around you will react accordingly. By having a sense of humor about your accident, you'll be more likely to get a positive reaction from others. [11]
    • Smiling can actually make you feel happier. So even if you don’t feel happy, the act of smiling can provide a little relief. [12]
  3. Everyone you love or admire—friends, family, coworkers, and even celebrities all have at least one embarrassing story to share. They’re human and they make mistakes, just like you. This accident does not define you, and hopefully, it’ll be a funny story to tell your loved ones later on!
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Section 4 of 5:

How to Prevent Future Accidents

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  1. If you need to go, go! If you begin to feel the sensation of having to urinate, look for and go to a bathroom before the situation becomes dire. Even if you’re in the middle of a conversation, just politely say that you need to use the restroom. Others will understand, and an even more difficult situation will be avoided.
  2. If you often experience sudden urges to urinate or urinary incontinence, figure out where the toilets will be in a certain environment ahead of time. If you’re attending a conference in a large convention center, for instance, look for a map of the venue online ahead of time so that you’ll already know where the bathrooms are. If you are in a situation where bathrooms will be hard to access, regulate your liquid intake as much as possible.
    • Keep in mind that formal events, like operas and plays, may not let you leave and reenter the theatre if you need to use the bathroom.
    • Similarly, airplanes, concerts, and sports games are all situations where bathrooms can be notoriously difficult or inconvenient to access.
  3. Beverages like coffee, alcohol, and caffeinated sodas are all diuretics, meaning that they increase urine production when consumed. Avoid drinking lots of fluids—but especially these urine-inducing drinks—in any situation where you won’t be able to easily access a bathroom. [13]
    • Ask your friends to tell you when they are going to the bathroom and go with them. You may forget or not realize how badly you need to go, especially if you’re drinking alcohol.
  4. Invest in adult diapers , sanitary napkins, or incontinence pads and wear those on any public outing, if you don’t already. Then, you can carry on with your life safe in the knowledge that any leaks or messes won’t be visible. [14] You can also pack a toolkit to help you deal with an accident in public—pack a small toiletry bag with spare underwear, wet wipes, and perfume. Keep it in your purse, backpack, or briefcase.
    • Adults wear diapers and sanitary napkins for a variety of different reasons that can cause bladder control issues, some of which include: [15] :
      • Urinary infections
      • Prostate gland enlargement
      • Specific diseases (Parkinson’s, arthritis, dementia, etc.)
      • Pregnancy
      • Post-Menopause
  5. If urinary accidents are a regular occurrence for you, you may have a medical condition such as an overactive bladder, a weak pelvic floor, or urinary incontinence. Visit a healthcare professional and tell them the details of what you’ve been experiencing. Mention any patterns around when your accidents occur (e.g., after having certain drinks, during certain times of day, after certain activities, etc.). [16]
    • Your health provider may be able to give you a proper diagnosis and treatment options so that you won’t have to continuously cope with wetting yourself in public.
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Section 5 of 5:

Understanding Urinary Incontinence

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  1. In other words, UI involves someone accidentally leaking urine or wetting themselves—and it’s more common than you think. Over 25 million adult Americans experience temporary or chronic urinary incontinence. [17] At least 10% of women between 19 and 30 years old experience UI, and it becomes increasingly more common among women aged over 50 (making it a normal part of the aging process). [18]
    • Symptoms of urinary incontinence may include:
      • Leaking urine during everyday activities like lifting, bending, coughing, and exercising.
      • Being unable to hold urine in after feeling a sudden urge to urinate.
      • Leaking urine without any warning or urge.
      • Being unable to reach a toilet in time after feeling an urge to urinate.
      • Nighttime bed-wetting.
      • Urine leaking during sexual intercourse.
  2. Persistent UI is caused by a change in bodily function, e.g., pregnancy, childbirth, aging, neurological disorders, urinary stones, and tumors. Temporary UI is typically caused by certain stimulants and temporary medical conditions (e.g., alcohol, caffeine, heart and blood pressure medications, urinary tract infections, and constipation). Temporary UI is further broken down into the following types: [19]
    • Stress urinary incontinence: Results from weakened or damaged pelvic floor or urethral sphincter muscles. Urine leaks usually occur when coughing, sneezing, laughing, exercising, or lifting.
    • Urge urinary incontinence: Involves a sudden, intense urge to urinate followed by a loss of urine. Often includes frequent nighttime urination.
    • Overflow urinary incontinence: Manifests as the frequent leakage of urine, resulting from some urine remaining in the bladder after typical urination. Typically caused by an obstruction in the bladder that prevents it from being emptied.
    • Functional urinary incontinence: Results from a physical or mental impairment that prevents a person from making it to the bathroom on time (e.g., severe arthritis).
    • Mixed urinary incontinence: Refers to when a person experiences more than one type of UI. Most frequently, mixed UI involves a combination of stress incontinence and urge incontinence.
  3. UI is generally benign—although it may indicate something more severe in rare cases. In most cases, seeking treatment options for UI is simply a way to make a patient’s day-to-day life easier and more comfortable. Visit your doctor for testing and to discuss treatment options, which usually include one or more of the following: [20]
    • Regular kegel muscle exercises
    • Limits on diuretic foods, drinks, and medications
    • Smoking cessation
    • Weight management
    • Timed bladder training
    • Prescription medications like anticholinergics, botox injections, and estrogen
    • Medical devices like vaginal and urethral inserts
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    Why does peeing yourself feel so embarrassing?
    Kirsten Thompson, MD
    Board Certified Psychiatrist
    Dr. Kirsten Thompson is a Board Certified Psychiatrist, Clinical Instructor at UCLA, and the Founder of Remedy Psychiatry. She specializes in helping patients with mental health conditions such as major depressive disorder, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum depression. Dr. Thompson holds a BS in Operations Research Industrial Engineering from Cornell University and an MD from The State University of New York, Downstate College of Medicine.
    Kirsten Thompson, MD
    Board Certified Psychiatrist
    Expert Answer
    Most of the stress and embarrassment in publicly wetting yourself actually comes from the thought that other people may see it, not necessarily from the accident itself.
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      References

      1. ↑ Kirsten Thompson, MD. Board Certified Psychiatrist. Expert Interview. 1 October 2021.
      2. ↑ Kirsten Thompson, MD. Board Certified Psychiatrist. Expert Interview. 1 October 2021.
      3. ↑ Kirsten Thompson, MD. Board Certified Psychiatrist. Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.
      4. ↑ https://www.today.com/home/how-remove-pee-urine-stains-clothing-furniture-t108472
      5. ↑ https://www.cleaninginstitute.org/cleaning-tips/clothes/stain-removal-guide
      6. ↑ https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/003976.htm
      7. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-halt-and-minimize-panic-attacks/
      8. ↑ https://www.urologyhealth.org/urology-a-z/s/stress-urinary-incontinence-(sui)
      9. ↑ Kirsten Thompson, MD. Board Certified Psychiatrist. Expert Interview. 1 October 2021.
      1. ↑ Kirsten Thompson, MD. Board Certified Psychiatrist. Expert Interview. 1 October 2021.
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/high-octane-women/201210/emotions-are-contagious-choose-your-company-wisely
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/201407/happiness-can-make-you-cry-and-smiling-can-make-you
      4. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-incontinence/in-depth/bladder-control-problem/art-20046597
      5. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-incontinence/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20352814
      6. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/7064-bladder-control-issues
      7. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/7064-bladder-control-issues
      8. ↑ https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/urinary-incontinence/urinary-incontinence-in-women
      9. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27171318
      10. ↑ https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/urinary-incontinence/solutions-for-a-leaky-bladder
      11. ↑ http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/urinary-incontinence/10-ways-to-stop-leaks/

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      Wetting yourself in public can be a stressful and embarrassing situation, but there are ways to conceal an accident and clean up quickly. Use materials on or around you to make the wet spot less visible, like wrapping a sweater around your waist or placing a bag or hat in the right area. You can also spill other liquids, like juice or soda, on top of your wet spot to cover the smell and stain. Once you’ve covered your wet spot, find a bathroom so you can see exactly how wet you are and get cleaned up. If possible, remove the clothing so you can rinse it with soap and water, then use paper towels or a hand drier to soak up the moisture. You’ll also want to clean your skin with some soap and water to get rid of any lingering smell. To learn how to prevent future accidents, keep reading!

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