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We reveal what each position says about your relationship
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Cuddling up next to a loved one is one of the most comforting feelings in the world—until you get a crick in your neck or your arm falls asleep. Aside from finding a comfortable position for you and your partner, the way both of your bodies subconsciously interact as you drift off into dreamland can say a lot about where you are in your relationship. To uncover exactly what’s happening under your covers, read through our comprehensive list of couples’ sleeping positions, what they mean, and the pros and cons of sharing a bed with your significant other.
Things You Should Know
- Spooning is when you and your partner are side-sleeping, but one of you is hugging the other. This position is popular among new couples to grow physical intimacy.
- Sleeping back-to-back is a relaxing and comforting position that gives both of you some freedom to move around while still feeling close.
- The “Sweetheart Cradle” has one person on their back with the other resting their head on their partner’s chest. This intimate position shows trust in your relationship.
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Section 1 of 2:
Sleeping Positions & Their Meanings
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Spooning You’re both sleeping on your sides in this position. The “big spoon” wraps the “little spoon” in a hug, with their front to the other partner’s back. Spooning is a close and intimate position that provides emotional and physical comfort. [1] X Research source
- What does this position mean? This position is common if you’re a brand-new couple or you just can’t get enough of each other.
- If you like to be the big spoon, you likely see yourself as a generous and comforting protector.
- If you like being the little spoon, you enjoy feeling protected and cared for by your partner.
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Chasing Spoon Like traditional spooning, you and your partner are facing the same direction. However, you aren’t sleeping tightly together. Rather, one person moves to the side of the bed, and the other follows or “chases” them. [2] X Research source
- What does this position mean? If your partner is the “chased” person, they may need more space from you, or they’re playing hard to get.
- Alternatively, your partner being the “chaser” could mean that they need more intimacy and attention from you.
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Loose Spoon In this position, you are both facing the same direction as if you’re spooning. However, you put a little bit of distance between your bodies while maintaining some physical contact. [3] X Research source
- What does this position mean? This position is common in long-term couples where sufficient trust has been built.
- If you find yourself in this position as a couple, you have a solid enough foundation to prioritize quality sleep over the constant reassurance of physical touch.
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Overhead This position is similar to spooning, but one partner’s head is above the other’s. For instance, you may be sleeping on your side and be the little spoon to your partner’s big spoon, but their chin is resting on the top of your head.
- What does this position mean? If your partner is placing their head over yours, it is a sign that they want to protect you and make sure you feel secure.
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The Burrito In this position, you and your partner are both swaddled up in a blanket, just like being wrapped in a giant, cozy burrito. The burrito is a very comfortable and intimate position for cuddling. However, you might overheat quickly due to the combination of blanket and trapped body heat. [4] X Research source
- What does this position mean? You and your partner likely feel very intimate and may be in the early stages of your relationship.
- While you have a high level of intimacy and comfort with each other, sleeping this way years into your relationship or throughout an entire night may indicate codependency.
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Back to Back (with Contact) Also known as the Cherish Position, this position has you and your partner sleeping back-to-back while still touching in some way. Your feet, shoulders, backs, or other body parts may be touching. [5] X Research source
- What does this position mean? This is one of the most relaxing positions, indicating a closeness between the two of you.
- You can maintain closeness while still being able to move freely without disturbing your partner. [6] X Research source
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Back to Back (No Contact) Sometimes called the Liberty Lovers, couples in this position sleep back-to-back without touching. This position is a healthy sleeping position for you and your partner, as it helps relieve pressure on internal organs (although it may put strain on your shoulders and lower back). [7] X Research source
- What does this position mean? This position is a sign of independence and connection in your relationship.
- You and your partner feel secure enough in your relationship to sleep apart and have a more restful sleep.
- However, this position may be a warning sign if it’s a sudden shift from a more intimate position to this one. Ask your partner about how they’re feeling and what caused this abrupt change.
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Butt to Butt This position is a specific way of sleeping back to back, but with your butts touching. Also called a “moon landing,” this is a very comfortable position that allows for both comfortability and intimate touch. [8] X Research source
- What does this position mean? This position shows that you and your partner want to stay connected, even if you sleep facing opposite directions.
- You and your partner are likely very relaxed around each other and secure in your relationship.
- It’s also possible that you recently had a fight, so you don’t feel like being super intimate but still want to reassure each other of your care and affection.
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Face to Face (with Contact) In this position, you and your partner are facing each other with your heads at the same level. You may be slightly touching or mostly intertwined with your limbs wrapped or draped over each other. [9] X Research source
- What does this position mean? This extremely intimate position indicates a happy and close connection between you and your partner.
- However, sleeping face-to-face is not a great way to get quality sleep, as either one of you can become uncomfortable with the other’s breath in your face.
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Face to Face (No Contact) In this position, you and your partner face each other without touching. [10] X Research source This position gives both of you space to move around while still being able to see each other and feel connected.
- What does this position mean? This position could be seen as pillow talk, where you face each other and open up emotionally, which is a good sign.
- However, this position more often indicates issues in the relationship. You both may need attention from the other but haven't been able to resolve or communicate that.
- Communicate your needs to your partner. Actively listen to them as they explain their emotions and feelings.
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Intertwined Also known as the “Tangle,” this position sees you and your partner intertwined like you’re in a close hug. Being intertwined is usually a transitional position before sleep and after you two have been intimate. [11] X Research source
- What does this position mean? If you’re in a new relationship, this position indicates the blossoming of a close and romantic relationship.
- If you’ve been dating for a while, however, it is unusual to be sleeping through the night in this position. This may mean you are codependent on each other and not giving each other any breathing room. [12] X Research source
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Unraveling Tangle This position usually starts with an intertwined or tangle position that loosens throughout the night. The unraveling allows you and your partner to still feel close while sleeping in a more comfortable position. [13] X Research source
- What does this position mean? This position balances intimacy and independence, making it a healthier choice over the fully tangled or intertwined positions.
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Over-Body In this position, one person is lying flat and looking up at the ceiling. The other partner lies on top, placing most of their torso on the other person. This position is great for snuggling and developing closeness with your partner. However, whoever is on the bottom may start to feel uncomfortable with the weight on top of them. [14] X Research source
- What does this position mean? If you are the person on top, it may indicate that you crave attention and protection from your partner.
- Needing attention and protection isn’t necessarily a negative thing, but watch out for signs of codependency and over-reliance on your partner.
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Sweetheart Cradle In this classic couples’ position, you sleep on your back while your partner places their head on your chest (or vice versa). The cradle is an intimate, skin-to-skin position, meaning that both you and your partner will experience the release of oxytocin, also known as the love hormone. [15] X Research source
- What does this position mean? This protective and passionate position indicates trust and nurturing in your relationship.
- However, it’s not the most comfortable position as you or your partner’s body parts can start to numb throughout the night.
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Head on Shoulder This position has you and your partner lying flat on your backs, with one of you placing your head on the other person’s shoulder. This position is very comfortable and allows for both of you to have some space while still sharing a very intimate sleeping position. [16] X Research source
- What does this position mean? This position shows confidence and mutual understanding in your relationship.
- You and your partner have a clear understanding of who needs to be nurtured and who needs to be the protector in this moment.
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Pillow Replacement You or your partner is using the other person’s arm as their pillow. One of you may be lying on your stomach with your arm outstretched while your significant other’s head rests on your arm. This position is very sweet and caring, but you may wake up with a sore neck or arm. [17] X Research source
- What does this position mean? You and your partner mutually support and rely on each other. This position shows how you are literally reaching out to each other.
- However, the person being used as the pillow should make sure they’re not sacrificing their own comfort for their partner.
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Leg Hug You and your partner’s legs are intertwined, but the rest of your body is not. This position is great because both of you can sleep in whatever position you like—front, back, or side—and still keep your legs hugged together. [18] X Research source
- What does this position mean? This romantic sleeping position shows how you and your partner are passionately committed to each other as a unit.
- If only one person is interested in or initiating the leg hug, however, it may show an imbalance in the relationship.
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Arm Wrap Similar to the leg hug, you and your partner will link arms without intertwining the rest of your bodies. This position maintains a physical connection between you while also letting you spread out.
- What does this position mean? This position shows that you both feel secure and satisfied in your relationship.
- You still need each other, but you feel comfortable enough to have your own space and know your partner is still by your side.
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Fetal Pair In this position, both partners sleep in the fetal position, curled up like a baby. However, sleeping for too long or too tightly in this position can lead to pain in your lower back. If you enjoy sleeping in the fetal position, place a pillow between your knees to alleviate stress on your body. [19] X Research source
- What does this position mean? If you and your partner are cuddling or facing each other in the fetal position, it shows security and comfort in your relationship.
- However, if one or both of you are in the fetal position and facing away from the other person, it may indicate that you have unresolved issues in the relationship or feel disconnected from one another.
- Take steps to resolve any conflict in your relationship. If you feel like your partner is pulling away and you don’t know why, ask them about how they’re feeling and how you can help.
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Tetherball In this position, one of you is curled up in the fetal position or lying on your side while the other is lying on their back. Whoever is lying on their back has a hand resting on their partner’s hip. [20] X Research source
- What does this position mean? If this is a frequent position for you and your partner, you are likely a very secure and mature couple.
- You both have space to move around and be comfortable, but you still yearn for comfort and physical contact.
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Toy Soldiers In the toy soldier position, both of you are lying flat on your backs. Your hands are parallel to your bodies, and you aren’t touching in any way, like two toy soldiers lying side-by-side. Not only is this not a good position for cuddling or snuggling, but it’s also not a comfortable sleeping position.
- What does this position mean? This position may indicate independence in your relationship or that you both sleep in your preferred position, regardless of your relationship status.
- However, the stiffness of the soldier position may show that your physical connection has diminished.
- Improve physical intimacy with your partner by holding hands, cuddling while watching TV, and exploring each other’s fantasies and desires.
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Paper Dolls In the paper dolls position, both of you are sleeping on your backs like you would in the soldier position. However, you’re both holding hands or have your hands positioned so they’re gently touching or brushing against one another. [21] X Research source
- What does this position mean? This position is a great balance between intimacy and comfort.
- You and your partner probably have healthy boundaries while maintaining a strong emotional connection.
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Double Stomach Snooze Stomach sleeping is one of the least popular sleeping positions, as it can cause back pain and spine problems. In this position, both of you are sleeping on your stomachs, likely without touching. [22] X Research source
- What does this position mean? If both you and your partner are stomach-sleeping, it may reveal some trust issues in the relationship.
- One or both of you are likely experiencing feelings of anxiety, fear, and an inability to be vulnerable in the relationship.
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Cliffhangers The cliffhanger position has you and your partner sleeping on opposite sides of the bed, like each of you is hanging off the cliff's edge. You may be facing each other or facing opposite directions, but you’re as far apart as possible.
- What does this position mean? Typically, this position is a sign that the relationship is nearing its end or there’s some current conflict between you.
- However, the cliffhanger position may simply mean that you and your partner are happy with your relationship and comfortable needing your own space to sleep!
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Starfish Also called the “Space Hog” position, one partner in your relationship has their limbs fully outspread in this position. The other partner is left with little space and may even be pushed off the bed. [23] X Research source
- What does this position mean? If one partner takes up all the space on the mattress or pushes the other off the bed, it may show that they value their comfort more than their partner's.
- If you are the starfish in the relationship, consider how your actions may affect your partner and how you would feel if they did the same to you.
- Have a conversation with your partner about your power dynamics and steps you can take to have a healthier relationship .
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Movers You and your partner may not have a set position you sleep in. You may move around throughout the night and shift into different positions.
- What does this position mean? Moving and changing positions is a sign of comfort and stability in your relationship. You can move around together without being worried about disturbing the other person.
- This also shows your deep connection and understanding of each other. You don't need to verbally communicate to find a mutually comfortable position in the middle of the night.
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Pet Barrier You and your partner might love to have your dog, cat, or another furry companion join you in bed. Your pet may sleep between you or nestled between your feet.
- What does this position mean? Sleeping with a pet between you may allow you and your partner to get some extra space at night without having to acknowledge what need out loud.
- However, bringing a pet into the bedroom may mean you’re avoiding an issue or conflict in your relationship. [24] X Research source
- Try talking to your partner about your sleeping arrangements or get a separate bed for your pet .
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Tips
- Note that sleeping on your back or your side is better for your health than sleeping on your stomach. [31] X Research sourceThanks
- The best sleeping position for couples is any position you are both comfortable in, whether spooning, sleeping face to face, or sleeping in separate beds.Thanks
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References
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- ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2021/11/18/sleeping-with-pets-pros-cons/
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