How to Deal With a Guy Who Thinks You Like Him

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If a guy you don't like thinks you do like him, you're not alone. You might feel confused, angry, or even repulsed—and that's totally normal! However, instead of driving yourself crazy trying to figure out what could make him think this, you can take some steps to set him straight without being harsh. You'll need to send him a clear message, keep your distance, and reassure yourself that you're still a good person.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Sending a Clear Message

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  1. Do this in private to avoid embarrassing him. Explain that you're only interested in being friends and that you don't want to hurt his feelings. Talking to him will help him realize the truth. Don't give any hope of a romantic relationship in the future. [1]
    • Say something like, “You're really sweet, but I don't want to ruin our friendship. Let's keep it platonic.”
    • You could also say, "I'm really sorry, but I think you might have misinterpreted things. I only see you as a friend." [2]
    • Talk to him in person. Don't hide behind a text message or computer screen.
    • Tell him yourself. Asking your friends to relay the message only will make everyone feel awkward.
  2. Avoid being rude or hurtful, even if he repulses you. If you have to work with him or go to school with him, that could make things worse for you. Simply say, “Hi” when you pass each other and keep walking. Limit your facial expressions to a slight smile. If you have to talk to him for a group project, focus on the task at hand. [3]
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  3. This will totally defeat your goal of letting him know you don't like him. Don't play with your hair or make too much eye contact. These actions draw too much attention to yourself. Avoid standing or sitting too close or playfully stroking his hand. This could send the wrong message. [4]
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Keeping Your Distance

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  1. A guy who likes you is looking for reasons to believe that you like him back. Hang out with your other friends. Find another place to sit at lunch. If you share friends with this guy, don't pay so much attention to him when you do hang out. After about 15 minutes or so, excuse yourself and say you need to be alone or be somewhere else. [5]
  2. Physical contact is often a form of intimacy. Limit it to a friendly handshake, a high five, or a fist bump. Don't hug him, hold hands, or dance with him. Definitely don't kiss him. Treat him the same way you treat other friends and acquaintances. [6]
  3. Cut back on the “likes” you give to his posts. He might interpret too many likes as an interest in him. Retweet or share only what you think is really important. Turn off your chat function to avoid lengthy conversations.
  4. Sometimes, guys misinterpret civility for attraction or flirtation. If this happens, avoid him to the fullest extent. Unfollow him on social media. Block his phone number. Casually turn in the opposite direction if you see him coming your way. This should give him a clear message.
    • If he refuses to leave you alone, tell someone. This could be your parents, a trusted teacher or guidance counselor, a school security guard, or a police officer. Don't let him make you feel unsafe for feelings you have no control over. [7]
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Coming to Terms with Your Feelings

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  1. This could send him mixed messages. If you feel like you're going to cry, think of something that makes you laugh to counter the tears. If that doesn't work, make an excuse that you have to be somewhere else and walk away. [8]
  2. It's okay to confide in your best friend, but don't tell everyone that you think he's creepy or needy. Less considerate friends might taunt him and make things awkward. If anyone mentions that he thinks you like him, say something like, “Well, he's nice and all, but I only like him as a friend.”
  3. Don't worry if your friends think he's cute or sweet. If he just doesn't do it for you, that doesn't make you a bad person. You can't force yourself to like him. Celebrate this as something that makes you unique. [9]
  4. He might try to make you feel guilty for rejecting him. Deep breathing will allow you to control your guilt and not dwell so much on his behavior. Inhale slowly through your nose. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Focus on staying calm and doing what's best for you. [10]
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Reject Guys Gracefully with this Expert Series

Dealing with a guy who has a crush on you is awkward, and it's extra awkward when you want to be friends with him. Use this expert series to reject a guy without losing his friendship.
1
Get Him Into the Friend Zone
2
Deal With a Guy Who Thinks You Like Him
3
Avoid a Guy Who Likes You that Thinks You Like Him
4
Let a Guy Friend Know You're Not Interested Romantically in a Nice Way
5
Deal With a Guy Who Has an Unwanted Crush on You
6
Stay Friends With a Guy Friend That Asked You Out

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you deal with unwanted romantic attention?
    Michele Fields
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Michele Fields is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Owner of Bon Jour Matchmaking based in Denver, Colorado. With over thirty years of experience, she specializes in helping others meet people and navigate dating and relationships. Michele has created over 300 marriages and has been featured on Denver ABC News, The Rocky Mountain News, Colorado 2 News, Denver Westworld, and The Denver Post.
    Michele Fields
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Be straight with the guy. Remember that you're a grown woman and be kind when telling him that you don't think you both are a match. If he asks for a chance to develop things, know that it is possible that you may end up changing your mind. It's up to you to decide.
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      Tips

      • Speak authoritatively and unambiguously when you tell the guy you're not interested. He may seem upset initially, but he'll respect you for being clear with him.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • After you tell him that you don't like him, act normal. He already knows that you don't like him like that and he should appreciate that you still treat him as a friend.
      • If he doesn't believe you when you tell him, you may want to consider ending the friendship. He should respect your choices.
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      References

      1. ↑ Michele Fields. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 August 2021.
      2. ↑ Michele Fields. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 August 2021.
      3. ↑ http://www.lifehack.org/294859/how-smart-people-deal-with-people-they-dont-like
      4. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYPVtNObS4I
      5. ↑ http://www.lifehack.org/294859/how-smart-people-deal-with-people-they-dont-like
      6. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYPVtNObS4I
      7. ↑ http://thenarcissisticlife.com/the-narcissist-hates-being-ignored/
      8. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/15/10-ways-to-cheer-yourself_n_2479613.html?slideshow=true#gallery/274901/14
      9. ↑ http://www.lifehack.org/294859/how-smart-people-deal-with-people-they-dont-like
      1. ↑ http://www.lifehack.org/294859/how-smart-people-deal-with-people-they-dont-like

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      Reader Success Stories

      • Ghaliyah Cunningham

        Jan 13, 2017

        "Learned not to flirt with him or start a relationship right now. I am so sorry saying no, thank you."
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