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Puberty can be an extremely tough time for trans people. You might dysphoric, upset, or stressed about all the unwanted changes in your body. You might also feel isolated from friends and family. It's possible you may also feel alone while going through puberty as a trans, nonbinary, or genderfluid teen. This wikiHow can help.
Note: AFAB stands for assigned female at birth, while AMAB stands for assigned male at birth, which are the preferred terms by the trans community.
Steps
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Consider stuffing your bra if you don't have breasts. Some trans women and feminine-presenting individuals prefer to wear bras to feel more at ease in their own skin. Choose a bra that you like, fold a sock in half, and put one in each side of your bra to stuff create the appearance of breasts.
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Try tucking and taping if you have testicles. Lots of trans ladies and gender diverse folks choose to tuck in order to feel comfortable with their bodies and express their gender. This isn't for everyone, though. Don't feel like you have to tuck and tape if you're a trans woman or girl.
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Express your gender in a way that makes you comfortable. If you like to present as feminine, try wearing a couple clothing items that are associated with femininity, such as skirts, dresses, and blouses. Try wearing different patterns and colors.
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Shave your body hair. Letting body hair grow out is typically seen as masculine, and shaving your facial and body hair might help you feel less dysphoric. If you don't want to shave, don't stress. Lots of people don't shave and the world is becoming more accepting of other's body hair choices.
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Pick a hairstyle you like. Long hair or hair past neck length is associated with femininity and might help you feel more feminine. If you like your hair short, feel free to leave it that way. There are many genderfluid people, feminine individuals, and women with short hair.
- You can also wear wigs if you don't want to/can't grow out your hair but you want to have long hair sometimes.
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Participate in a few 'feminine' activities. Nail painting, doing makeup, and hairstyling are a couple hobbies you can do to feel more feminine.
- Try doing these activities with accepting friends or family members for more fun.
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Try binding your chest, if it's not already flat. Chest binding is the process of flattening your chest with a sports bra, binder, kinetic tape, or wearing layers to conceal your chest. Transmasculine people might bind to deal with gender dysphoria and is usually safe.
- Don't wear a binder during high-energy activities such as swimming, exercising, or having sex. Doing so could restrict your breathing or make sweat more.
- There are also many dangerous ways to bind your chest that can cause permanent damage to your body. Do lots of research on chest binding before you bind. Check out this verified guide to chest binding for more information from Point of Pride: Point of Pride: Tips to Bind Your Chest Safely [2] X Research source
- Never bind with Ace bandages. They are designed to prevent movement, meaning that every time you exhale, the bandage will wrap tighter around your chest. This could cause serious breathing problems or even break your ribs.
- Some teens have really bad dysphoria about their chests, but can't afford binders. Luckily, there are many LGBTQ websites that can deliver a free binder to you if you can't safely get one or can't afford one. If this situation applies to you, check out Point of Pride: Free Chest Binders
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Try packing, if that's something you're comfortable doing. Packing is the process of create a "bulge" in one's pants to create the look of a penis. Soft packing is safer and more ideal for teens when you can't buy a STP packer or packing boxers, or aren't ready to hard pack. [3] X Research source
- Packing isn't for everyone, though. If you are a transgender guy, don't feel like you must pack.
- You don't need special equipment to soft pack, which makes it a great options for trans teens. Check out the article How to Pack for Transgender Men for a guide on how to pack.
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Wear undergarments you like. Wearing masculine underwear can help majorly with dysphoria. Boxers, boy shorts, or briefs can also help you feel happy in your body. Putting on a tank top/sports bra under your clothes rather than a binder can flatten your chest more. Wear whatever makes your comfortable.
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Choose a hairstyle you love. Having your hair cut, tying it back, or wearing hats to cover the length can make you look more masculine. If you don't want to or can't cut your hair, don't worry! Many guys and masculine people have long hair.
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Wear clothes you like. Wear clothes that make you comfortable and happy, whether it be jeans, hoodies, button-ups, t-shirts, or something else. If you want to wear baggy clothing rather than clothes that flatter your body, that's fine too. [4] X Research source The way you express your gender should make you feel confident.
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Find ways to comfortably deal with your period if you have one. For some trans people, dealing with their period can be very dysphoric and upsetting. If you have a menstrual cycle, look for ways you can reduce dysphoria, such as referring to your period as something else (e.g., "men-strual" cycle). [5] X Research source Take a look at a few or these resources on how to deal with your period as a trans person:
- How to Deal with Your Period As a Transgender or Nonbinary Person
- How to Deal with Dysphoria on Your Period
- Gender Dysphoria and Your Cycle
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Create a support system. A support system is essential when going through tough times. Your support system should include people who are accepting, supportive, kind, and good listeners. These could be friends, cousins, extended family, a parent, siblings, a therapist/counselor, or someone else.
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Practice self care . Self care is very important during puberty, not just to help you feel confident and look good, but also to help you feel good. You can practice self care by:
- Getting active: Exercise and activity doesn't only make you feel good, but it's great for you! Avoid exercising in a binder, and wear a sports bra instead of a binder/regular bra. [6] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- Get plenty of sleep: Getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night, at the same time each night will keep you healthy, energized, and focused during the day. Getting adequate sleep will improve your mood and brain function. [7] X Research source
- Eating healthy. Eat at least 6 servings of fruits and vegetables daily, along with lean meats such as chicken breasts, and consume complex carbs like brown rice, whole wheat bread, and oats. Limit added sugars, saturated and trans fats, and excessive carbohydrates. Don't forget to drink plenty of water! It helps you stay hydrated, controls acne, and flushes out toxins from your body.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1210 wikiHow readers who've experienced gender dysphoria, and only 8% of them agreed that the best way to cope is by doing self-care. [Take Poll] So while it’s always important to take care of yourself, be sure you’re doing whatever you can to affirm your identity.
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Spend time with supportive family and/or friends. Don't waste your time with friends that treat you badly. Hang out with friends that are kind, supportive, and can help stick up for you. Spend time with family members who are supportive about your identity, and set boundaries family members that aren't.
- To know if someone is supportive, see if they are good at listening, respectful, and kind.
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Do things you love. Maybe you enjoy creating art, listening to music, singing, writing, dancing, playing an instrument, pottery, playing video games, or something else. Whatever it is, do things that are fun and enjoyable. Doing something you like can be a way to relieve stress and take your mind off things for a while.
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Handle any transphobia you face. It's likely that you will deal with transphobia at some point in your life, typically at school or work.
- If someone tries to hurt you, get help from someone nearby or call 911/211 immediately.
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Cope with dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is something many trans people experience. It occurs when a trans person feels uncomfortable and distressed with their gender assigned at birth and body. Coping with dysphoria can be hard. Ways to deal with dysphoria include:
- Talking to a trusted family member or friend
- Listening to a playlist of songs you love
- Shaving or growing out your body hair
- Wearing clothes you like
- Binding your chest, packing, tucking and taping, or stuffing your bra
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Remember to keep yourself safe in public. It's important for anyone to protect themselves, but when someone presents themselves uniquely or has stated that they are trans or gender diverse, they can become a target for hate crime or assault. Follow these tips to stay safe in public:
- Carry pepper spray or another weapon of defense that's legal where you live when you go out in public to protect yourself.
- Don't walk alone at night, or at all if you can.
- Buddy-up when you're going out in public or the bathrooms.
- Opt for going into a "women's," "family," or "gender neutral" bathroom when you can, or bring a friend with you to the bathroom. [8] X Research source Studies show that trans people are at higher risk for being sexually assaulted in men's bathrooms.
- Stay safe at parties. Keep your hand over your cup, say no drugs or alcohol, and don't go home with anybody except the same people you came with.
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Keep your items for gender expression private if you need to. Sometimes, sneaky siblings or parents that don't respect boundaries will go through your drawers or closet. If you are still in the closet, it's a good idea to keep your binder, packer, and other gender expression items in a private place where no one will look.
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Manage stress healthily. Puberty can be an extremely stressful time for trans teens. It's important to manage stress, as too much stress can cause or worsen health problems such as depression, anxiety, headaches, acne, or asthma. Not to mention, it can make any dysphoria worse than it already is. Ways to manage stress include: [9] X Research source [10] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
- Yoga
- Meditation
- Exercising in fun ways such as dancing, cycling, or Zumba
- Talking to supportive people or friends
- Eating healthy (eating fruits and veggies, limiting high glycemic index foods)
- Try to avoid coping in dangerous ways such as by self-harming .
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Navigate Your Gender Transition with this Expert Series
Transitioning is a big process with many potentially confusing and difficult steps. Don't worry, we're here to guide you every step of the way with these expert articles.
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Adjust to Being a Boy when You Really Want to Be a Girl
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How to Become a Woman: Male to Female Transition
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Start Hormone Replacement Therapy (Male to Female)
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Know if You Are Transgender
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How to Deal With Gender Dysphoria: Mental Health, Gender Expression & Medical Treatments
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QuestionHow do you deal with being unable to transition?Dr. Inge Hansen, PsyD, is the Director of Well-Being at Stanford University and the Weiland Health Initiative. Dr. Hansen has professional interests in social justice and gender and sexual diversity. She earned her PsyD from the California School of Professional Psychology with specialized training in the area of gender and sexual identity. She is the co-author of The Ethical Sellout: Maintaining Your Integrity in the Age of Compromise.It can be extremely frustrating to feel ready to transition and not be able to, whether due to a lack of resources, or obstacles created by one's job, family, or community. In these cases, it's often helpful to seek out what you can do to live more fully in your authentic gender. Seek out ways to live in and express your gender when and wherever you can and still feel safe.
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References
- ↑ https://www.stlouischildrens.org/conditions-treatments/transgender-center/puberty-blockers
- ↑ https://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/what-is-chest-binding
- ↑ https://paxsies.com/blogs/blogs-paxsies/whats-ftm-packing
- ↑ https://www.emisil.com/blogs/all-blog-posts/ftm-fashion-guide-and-tips
- ↑ https://www.transhub.org.au/menstruation
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/in-depth/exercise/art-20048389
- ↑ https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2021/04/good-sleep-good-health
- ↑ https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/transgender-teens-restricted-bathroom-access-sexual-assault/
- ↑ https://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-symptoms-effects_of-stress-on-the-body
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