Although self-harming is fairly common, it's not a healthy way to work through intense feelings. That doesn't mean you should be too hard on yourself if you've self-harmed in the past, though. The fact that you want to work through the urge to self-harm now is a commendable and healthy sign, and you should be proud of yourself for trying to break the cycle here. There are tons of ways to replace this impulse with something more productive, or distract yourself long enough to overcome the urge. But it is important to note that you should get help for this at some point if you can, and if you’re feeling suicidal you should seek help immediately or call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. You are valid, valuable, and loved, and there are a lot of people out there who will be more than happy to help you through this.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat's a good way to distract myself from self-harm?Dr. Liana Georgoulis is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Los Angeles, California. She is the founder and clinical director of Coast Psychological Services. With over 12 years of experience, her mission is to provide clients with effective, well-studied, and established treatments that bring about significant improvements in her patients' lives. Her practice provides cognitive behavioral therapy and other evidence-based therapies for adolescents, adults, and couples. Additionally, she provides group therapy for social anxiety, social skills, and assertiveness training. Providing a space where clients feel understood and supported is essential to her work. Dr. Georgoulis also provides clinical supervision to post-doctoral fellows and psychological assistants. She received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and a BA in Psychology from the University of California, Los Angeles.Call a friend or ask them to do something with you. You don't need to tell them about your self-harming if you don't want to. Just do something fun with them.
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QuestionHow can I help a friend who engages in self harm?Dr. Liana Georgoulis is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Los Angeles, California. She is the founder and clinical director of Coast Psychological Services. With over 12 years of experience, her mission is to provide clients with effective, well-studied, and established treatments that bring about significant improvements in her patients' lives. Her practice provides cognitive behavioral therapy and other evidence-based therapies for adolescents, adults, and couples. Additionally, she provides group therapy for social anxiety, social skills, and assertiveness training. Providing a space where clients feel understood and supported is essential to her work. Dr. Georgoulis also provides clinical supervision to post-doctoral fellows and psychological assistants. She received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and a BA in Psychology from the University of California, Los Angeles.Approach the situation from a genuine place of kindness and honesty. Communicate your concern without judgement and let them know that you care about them. Remain calm and let them know that self harm cannot provide them with long term relief to the emotional pain they are experiencing. Consider providing some mental health resources and books that go into the damaging effects of self harm.
Tips
- If you can, try to identify your triggers. If there’s a specific catalyst that normally drives you to self-harm, you can work on avoiding it in the future. [19] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to sourceThanks
- While self-harming feels good in the moment, many people feel guilty or ashamed once those positive feelings subside. Those guilty feelings can lead you to seek out the positive feelings you get from self-harming again, and this happens in a kind of vicious cycle. If you can fight through the urge, you may find it a lot easier to fight through it in the future. [20] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to sourceThanks
Warnings
- Even if you aren’t injuring yourself in a serious way, self-harm isn’t a particularly productive way to work through your feelings. Get help when you can before this becomes a bigger problem. [21] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to sourceThanks
References
- ↑ Liana Georgoulis, PsyD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview. 6 September 2020.
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/helping-yourself-now/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/201708/15-things-do-instead-self-harming
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/helping-yourself-now/
- ↑ https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-the-tuesday-edition-1.5994735/why-do-people-shout-for-joy-new-study-looks-at-the-psychology-of-human-screams-1.5994738
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/helping-yourself-now/
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/helping-yourself-now/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/201708/15-things-do-instead-self-harming
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19934011/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/201708/15-things-do-instead-self-harming
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4035568/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/self-injury/symptoms-causes/syc-20350950
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/self-injury/symptoms-causes/syc-20350950
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/self-injury/symptoms-causes/syc-20350950