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Having a crush is so exciting—maybe you get butterflies in your stomach when you see them, maybe your hands get a little clammy, and maybe your mood improves right away. Flirting with your crush is the next step to let them know that you’re interested, but it can be tough to work up the courage to do so. With a little confidence and some practice, you can talk to your crush in a fun, flirtatious way that shows off your personality!
Steps
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Open with an interesting first message. A simple message like “hey” or “what’s up?” is easy to type out, but it might not lead to a very interesting conversation. Try to open up with a funny line, a goofy picture, or an inside joke between the two of you. [1] X Research source- For example, try finding a funny picture of an animal with a goofy expression. Send it to your crush along with the line “this reminded me of you” for a playful, funny message.
- Or, find a song that makes you think of your crush and send it to them. Ask them to listen to it and see what they think about it.
- You could also try an opener about something that happened earlier, like, “Did you see what Mr. Hendrix did today in science class? Worst. Beatbox. Ever.”
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Ask your crush questions about their life. You want your crush to feel good about themselves, right? One easy way to do that is to keep the conversation (mainly) focused on them. Ask questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no, and avoid topics that are too heavy or might cause an argument. Be comfortable talking about yourself, but don't forget to ask them some basic, non-threatening questions that they can easily talk about, like: [2] X Research source- "So I hear you're a finalist for the district science project? Congratulations! What's your project about?"
- "I'm new to this part of town. What do people around here usually do for fun?"
- "Have any plans for summer break? I think I just might die if I have to stay in my house the whole time."
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Compliment your crush on something they’re proud of. It wouldn't be flirting without a compliment or two. Complimenting tells your crush that you notice and value what they do. Try to stay as casual as possible when you compliment, and pick something that they might be happy about, like an accomplishment or an achievement. [3] X Research source- Try lines like, “You killed it in your soccer game tonight! Maybe you could show me how to score a goal sometime.”
- Or, “Congrats on getting the highest grade on the math test! I’d love to learn some of your study tricks.”
- Or even, “Your art project looked super cool hung up in the hallway. How long did it take to make?”
- Try to stay away from cheesy pick-up lines, because they’re hard to respond to.
EXPERT TIPDating CoachJohn Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.A good compliment should be relevant to the moment and the person. Be flirtatious, but show that you see the other person with a thoughtful comment or by noticing something interesting about them.
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Tease your crush just a little bit. If you're on friendly terms with your crush, don't be afraid of teasing them a little as a way of flirting. Make sure that they know you're teasing, being ironic, or sarcastic by adding in an emoji or an LOL—over text, it can be hard to tell whether or not someone's being serious. [4] X Research source- Tease them gently about something they're good at/confident about. If your crush is a star athlete, try saying, "So how many extra goals is your team going to score when they don't have you on the field?"
- Or, you could say, “With the high grades you get, I’m starting to wonder if you’re bribing the teachers!”
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End the conversation on a high note. Don't be afraid to cut the conversation short if it's going really well. It's better than leaving the conversation when there's nothing to say or something wrong was said. Leave your crush wanting more rather than wanting less. [5] X Research source- At the end of your conversation, say something like "You're fun to talk to — text me later?" or "See you tomorrow at school?" to build on the progress you made.
- If your crush stops replying to you, don’t assume that they don’t like you. They might have gotten busy, fallen asleep, or accidentally let their phone die.
- Reader Poll: We asked 693 wikiHow readers what do they do when a crush doesn’t respond to a text, and 57% said they would wait patiently for them to reply. [Take Poll]
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Make eye contact and smile while you talk. These are two of the biggest rules of flirting. You communicate so much with your eyes and your lips, and they're some of your most flattering features. Use them to your advantage! [6] X Research source- Look into your crushes eyes a little more than is comfortable. It's hard to do, but it sends the signal that your crush is irresistible—something everyone wants to feel like. However, staring at someone for too long can make them uncomfortable, so don’t overdo it.
- If you want to send a stronger signal, try glancing down at your crush’s mouth every now and then to send the message that you want to kiss them.
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Open with a question or a compliment. Conversation starters are just ways to get the conversation going, so they shouldn’t be anything too heavy. Try opening with a question or a compliment to get your crush talking. For example: [7] X Research source- "That dress looks great on you. Where did you get it?"
- "Are you going to the firework show this weekend? It’s supposed to be really fun!”
- "You seem like a math whiz. Can you help me do this algebraic equation?"
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Introduce yourself if your crush doesn’t know you. You can do this after your conversation starter (it's pretty casual, and very cool), or you can use the introduction as the conversation starter. Remember to smile and hold their eyes as you introduce yourself! [8] X Research source- Keep your introduction simple by saying, “Hi, I’m Georgia. I don’t think we’ve met before.”
- Or, “My name’s Frank. What’s yours?”
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Keep the conversation topics light. As you two chat, stick to subjects that are easy to talk about and hold your crush's interest. If you’re not sure what to talk about next, consider asking them about their classes, their hobbies, or your mutual interests. [9] X Research source- Try something like, “So how do you think you did on the English test today?”
- Or, “I was thinking of going rollerblading this weekend. Have you ever been?”
- Or even, “I’ve been watching that new show You on Netflix. Have you seen it?”
- Avoid sticky subjects, like politics or religion, unless your crush invites the conversation.
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Touch your crush’s arm throughout the conversation. Giving your crush a gentle touch on the arm or hand is a great way to signal that you’re interested. If you’re laughing at a joke, reach out and gently pat their forearm. If you’re sitting close enough, rest your hand gently on theirs, if you feel comfortable doing so. [10] X Research source- Try not to overdo it by touching your crush too much. Keep your hand held on their arm for just a second, then pull away.
- If your crush pulls away from you or doesn’t seem comfortable with you touching them, don’t push it. Some people don’t like being touched, even by people that they know.
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Throw in some compliments to make your crush feel good. Pick out something you know your crush is proud of and give them a compliment about it. Try to choose something that they can control, like their hobbies or the sports they play, rather than a compliment on their physical appearance. Try compliments like: [11] X Research source- ”The question you asked in class today was really on point!”
- ”Your science project looks really cool. How long did that take you?”
- ”I saw you in gym class today, you were nailing those free throws!”
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Wind down your conversation after a few minutes. Flirty conversations are best kept short to leave your crush wanting more. You can find an excuse to leave or ask your crush to hang out and talk again later when you both have more time. [12] X Research source- Say something like, “Well, I’ve gotta go help my friend with some homework. What are your plans after school tomorrow?”
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Ask your crush out on a date, if you feel like you’re ready. If your conversations have been going good and you feel like it’s the right time, you can ask your crush to take it to the next level. Ask them when they’re free and set up a time for the two of you to hang out on your own. Try to pick a public place with a casual setting to keep the pressure off. [13] X Research source- Try saying something like, “Hey, are you busy this coming Saturday? I have a couple tickets to that movie that just came out."
- Or, “I was thinking about going to that taco truck that just opened up. Do you want to come with me?”
- Or even, “I really liked talking with you today. Do you want to hang out this weekend sometime so we can chat more?”
- You don't have to call it a date if you don't want to. Just ask the other person to join you in what you're doing. If your crush asks you whether it's a date, then you can say it is.
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Join the Discussion...
I (16 f) want to get my crush (17 m) to notice me in a romantic way, but I don’t want to be too cringey or obvious about it. I sort of just wan... Read More
I think having good social energy is one of your best bets if you want someone to notice you that way. Do your best to be visibly social, smile a... Read More
Try to learn what his interests are, and then get into them. Even better if you can get really good at them. For example, if you know that he goe... Read More
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you flirt over text?Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.Keep the conversation fun. If you keep things lighthearted, the other person will be more likely to want to keep talking to you. Talk to your crush about fun, easy topics (like school or hobbies) but don't talk about serious topics because this might make the conversation awkward.
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QuestionWhat should I text a girl I like?Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.Let her know when things remind you of her. This is a great way to show interest in another person because it lets them know that you think about them. You might, for instance, text a girl you like when you hear a song that reminds you of her or if you're watching a TV show you know she likes.
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QuestionWhat can I text a girl to make her smile?Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.Give her a compliment and put an emoji at the end of your message. Make sure the compliment is genuine, like "Your science presentation really impressed me!" Also, don't overuse emojis. Try putting just one or two at the end of a message.
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Tips
- Flirting can be tough, especially if you’re shy. Give yourself some time to work up the courage, if you need to.Thanks
- Dress in clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident when you talk to your crush in person.Thanks
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Warnings
- Try not to obsess about your crush. Treat them how you’d treat a close friend so they don’t feel overwhelmed.Thanks
- Getting rejected stinks, but it doesn’t have to ruin everything. Just move on and try to find someone who likes you for who you are.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/article/how-to-flirt-over-text-tips-and-flirty-texts-examples.html
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/article/how-to-flirt-over-text-tips-and-flirty-texts-examples.html
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/g3/flirty-text-message-ideas/?slide=1
- ↑ https://rendezvousmag.com/how-to-flirt-over-text/
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/article/how-to-flirt-over-text-tips-and-flirty-texts-examples.html
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a36329/how-to-flirt/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-life/201410/so-you-met-someone-you-might-want-date-now-what
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-life/201410/so-you-met-someone-you-might-want-date-now-what
- ↑ https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/how-to-flirt
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201605/3-steps-more-successful-flirting
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201403/how-to-flirt-and-be-attractive
- ↑ https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/how-to-flirt
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-life/201410/so-you-met-someone-you-might-want-date-now-what
About This Article
Article Summary
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To flirt with your crush over text, send them casual compliments to show that you like them. For example, say something like “So, how is it that someone as smart and attractive as you doesn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” Also, you could tease them about something that they're good at by sending something like “Can’t believe you aced that last test. You’re really making the rest of us look bad, you know.” But make sure that you avoid cheesy pick-up lines and just keep it sincere when you’re flirting. For more advice, like how to flirt in person, keep reading!
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Reader Success Stories
- "I'm not the type of girl who is outgoing, confident, and boastful around her crush. I am super-shy around this guy, and this article helped me to learn ways to feel my best and have a little confidence when I am around him. " ..." more
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"I'm not the type of girl who is outgoing, confident, and boastful around her crush. I am super-shy around this guy, and this article helped me to learn ways to feel my best and have a little confidence when I am around him. "
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"The article helped me not to be shy. Go to the person you love and tell them how you feel. "
"It was very successful. Thank you so much."
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