How to Get a Girl if You're Short

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You've got your eye on a special girl, and you're thinking about asking her out. There's only one problem—she's taller than you. While this may seem like a cause for concern, it's not the end of the world. When it comes to making a real connection, your personality is much more important than your physical traits. As long as you're confident, eager to get to know her on a personal level and willing to address the elephant in the room, the only thing that comes between you will be a couple of inches.

This article is based on an interview with our dating and relationship coach, Suzanna Mathews, founder of The Date Maven. Check out the full interview here.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Making Yourself More Attractive

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    There's no substitute for confidence. When you walk into a room, hold your head high and put a little swagger in your step. Acting self-assured shows that you have a lot going for you and you're not hung up on being a little more compact than the people around you. [1]
    • In order to feel bigger, it can also help to sound bigger. Use a clear, assertive tone when you speak instead of acting shy or murmuring softly.
    • If you don't treat your shortness like a big deal, chances are no one else will either. Many women won't care if you're short as long as you're a good person. [2]
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    Practice good posture and avoid slouching. Draw your shoulders back, push your chest forward and raise your chin up. You should also find something better to do with your hands than stick them in your pockets, which can cause your shoulders to droop and make you look self-conscious. [3]
    • It's all about creating a presence—by holding yourself as though you were the tallest person in the room, you'll have an influence over the way other people see you. [4]
    • Poor posture can actually play up shortness, which is the opposite of the effect you're going for.
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    Remember, it's what's inside that really counts. Instead of simply wishing you were taller, make your worth visible in other ways. For instance, you could play up your accomplishments at school or work, or describe a fascinating hobby of yours that will help you stand out from the crowd. [5] [6]
    • Always wear a warm smile. It will make you more approachable. [7]
    • Being friendly will take you a lot further than just being a certain height. Girls want to spend time with people they can feel comfortable around. [8]
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    Wearing slim, fitted clothes can make your limbs look longer, creating the appearance of added height. Take your measurements and start buying items that are true to your build. Dressing well can help you cut a more appealing image. [9]
    • Vertical stripes and patterns are also a smart choice, as they make the eye move up and down. [10]
    • Steer clear of baggy, oversized clothes that have a tendency to bunch up. You'll look even smaller if you're swallowed up by your outfit.
    • Thick-soled shoes or boots will raise you up a little, which can help you get noticed when socializing.
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    You might be able to make your short stature less noticeable by building a healthier, more proportioned body. Put in some time at the gym doing cardio and lifting light weights to increase your muscle mass, and make sure you're eating a balanced diet. A well-developed physique will draw attention away from the fact that your interest has a few inches on you. [11]
    • Get good at a sport or some other discipline that's physically impressive, like dancing.
    • Be careful not to bulk up too much, or it could end up making you look stocky. Putting on massive amounts of muscle may also give the impression that you're trying to compensate. [12]
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Overcoming Insecurity

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    There's no way to change how tall you are, and the sooner you make peace with that reality, the better off you'll be. But that doesn't mean you have to hide your face in shame. Your height is just one of many features. Remember that you have plenty more to offer than just the way you look. [13] [14]
    • Insecurity can lead to bashfulness or defensive behavior, both of which may be unattractive to girls.
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Some women may prefer taller partners, but that's not everyone. What's more important is how you make a partner feel. Focus on your unique qualities, like charisma and personality. These qualities will be what gets you dates, regardless of your height.

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    One simple solution is to go after girls that are around the same height as you. That way, there will be no need to bring up the topic while you're getting to know her, and no awkward hugs or dances later on. You'll be able to look her in the eye without constantly feeling like she's towering over you. [15]
    • Since you won't be intimidated by someone in the same height range, you'll be able to focus on enjoying yourself. [16]
    • While height may be something you consider when playing the field, you shouldn't judge people on their physical characteristics alone. Take the time to really get to know the girls that you're interested in.
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    Most girls are drawn to fun, lighthearted personalities. Whereas tall guys are a dime a dozen, finding someone who can make her laugh isn't nearly as common. Having a good sense of humor is a far better selling point than simply being a little taller.
    • Don't hesitate to make a quip about how you have trouble reaching the top shelf or need platform shoes to drive when the situation calls for it. Saying something like "I'm so short you can see my feet in my driver's license photo" can really help to break the ice.
    • If you let your height become a source of frustration or embarrassment, it may cause you to come off as bitter around other people. [17]
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    Many users on dating apps and websites list preferences for physical traits like height, weight and hair and eye color. With such an impersonal format, it's possible that you could get passed over before a single word is exchanged. It's better to talk face-to-face, since this will give you an opportunity to show what you're all about. [18]
    • Making a solid first impression is critical, but it can be very tough to do over the internet.
    • Resist the urge to lie about your height on your online dating profile. The truth will come out as soon as you meet, and your date most likely won't be too pleased. [19]
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Hitting It Off with Your Interest

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    Work up the nerve to walk right up and ask her out. There's no way to know whether she's interested in you unless you put yourself out there. If she says no, you're no worse off. If she says yes, you'll have succeeded in making that initial connection without letting insecurity about your height hold you back. [20]
    • Different people have different preferences, so realistically your chances of winning her affection are no worse than anyone else's.
    • There's no need to mention your height unless she brings it up first. If she does, laugh it off and wow her with your wit, intellect and charm.
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    Spend more time with your interest, even if it's just as friends. Make an effort to show a genuine interest in her and what she has to say. The height difference may seem like a deal breaker to her at first, but as she grows more comfortable with you, she'll begin to see how many other things there are to appreciate. [21]
    • Start things off slow by taking a stroll, grabbing a cup of coffee or doing something casual that will allow you to have a conversation.
    • When she talks, be attentive and listen without interrupting. If you're constantly posturing or distracted by your own doubts, she might think you're self-absorbed. [22]
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    Someone who isn't willing to give you a shot based on something as trivial as your height isn't deserving of your time. Keep looking until you find someone who likes you as you are. [23] Ultimately, this will only benefit the relationship. [24]
    • Avoid talking to girls who insist on bringing up your height as a negative.
    • The girl you've got your eye on may not always be the one that's best for you. If you run into someone closed-minded who sees height as an issue, it's probably best to just move on.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can I be attractive if I'm short?
    Suzanna Mathews
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Suzanna Mathews is a Dating and Relationship Coach and the Founder of The Date Maven. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in creating mindset tools, social strategies, and digital strategies that help her clients elevate dating and deepen connections. Suzanna holds a BA in Communications from Bethel College, North Newton, and an MA in Theater and Dramatic Arts from Wichita State University.
    Suzanna Mathews
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Make sure that you're in good shape! Look after your health, dress well, and really try cultivating awareness of yourself, a good personality, and good conversation skills.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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  • Question
    Is dating harder for short guys?
    Suzanna Mathews
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Suzanna Mathews is a Dating and Relationship Coach and the Founder of The Date Maven. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in creating mindset tools, social strategies, and digital strategies that help her clients elevate dating and deepen connections. Suzanna holds a BA in Communications from Bethel College, North Newton, and an MA in Theater and Dramatic Arts from Wichita State University.
    Suzanna Mathews
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    It can be, as there are women who really privilege tall men. That said, this is isn't a rule and there are plenty of women who don't privilege height as much as you think they will.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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  • Question
    Does height matter in online dating?
    Suzanna Mathews
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Suzanna Mathews is a Dating and Relationship Coach and the Founder of The Date Maven. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in creating mindset tools, social strategies, and digital strategies that help her clients elevate dating and deepen connections. Suzanna holds a BA in Communications from Bethel College, North Newton, and an MA in Theater and Dramatic Arts from Wichita State University.
    Suzanna Mathews
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    I always encourage men to be honest about their height and their online dating profiles. It's just better to lead with honesty and really show all the other awesome and amazing characteristics that you bring to the table.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      Warnings

      • Be careful about using tricks or enhancements to make yourself look taller. As soon as you're without them, that extra height will disappear.
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      • If you're worried about how you'll be perceived due to your height, you shouldn't be judgmental about other people's physical characteristics.
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      References

      1. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/51_dating_girl.html
      2. ↑ Suzanna Mathews. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.
      3. ↑ https://lifehacker.com/how-can-i-improve-my-posture-5732064
      4. ↑ http://www.doctornerdlove.com/5-dating-tips-for-short-men/
      5. ↑ Suzanna Mathews. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.
      6. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/51_dating_girl.html
      7. ↑ http://www.realmenrealstyle.com/instant-facial-attractiveness/
      8. ↑ Suzanna Mathews. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.
      9. ↑ http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/06/07/dressing-taller-short-men/
      1. ↑ https://www.gentlemansgazette.com/how-to-dress-if-you-are-short/
      2. ↑ http://www.gq.com/story/short-mans-guide-to-working-out
      3. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/51c_dating_girl.html
      4. ↑ Suzanna Mathews. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.
      5. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZJUnKfl4lg
      6. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/51c_dating_girl.html
      7. ↑ http://www.doctornerdlove.com/5-dating-tips-for-short-men/
      8. ↑ http://www.doctornerdlove.com/5-dating-tips-for-short-men/
      9. ↑ http://www.doctornerdlove.com/5-dating-tips-for-short-men/
      10. ↑ Suzanna Mathews. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.
      11. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccw2l1RN2go
      12. ↑ https://verilymag.com/2015/09/dating-a-man-who-is-shorter-than-you-relationships-romance-height-difference-taller-woman
      13. ↑ http://shortofheight.com/dating-tips-for-short-guys/
      14. ↑ Suzanna Mathews. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.
      15. ↑ http://www.doctornerdlove.com/5-dating-tips-for-short-men/

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