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Looking for a surefire way to ask a girl out over text or WhatsApp? Whether you want to go on a date or ask her to be your girlfriend , asking a girl out over text can be anxiety-inducing. If you're feeling nervous or need some ideas to get the conversation started, we can help! This wikiHow article will help you start a conversation with a girl you like with a text, and give you plenty of ideas and sample texts for landing that date.
Steps
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Come up with an idea for a date . If you know the person well enough, then consider her interests when coming up with date ideas. The more appealing the date sounds, the more likely she'll be to say yes. Furthermore, having a concrete plan with a place and time in mind makes you more decisive then if you said "Let's hang out some time," or, "I don't know, what do you want to do?" Here are some date ideas you should consider before asking:- If you share similar tastes in music, then invite her to an upcoming show or concert.
- Consider asking her to meet you for lunch or grabbing ice cream. If you enjoy cooking, then invite her over for a homemade dinner. Remember that dates don't necessarily have to revolve around meals; go for a hike together or hit the bowling alley!
- Try to think of an activity that involves talking and getting to know each other. Avoid asking her to the movies, where you will be sitting in silence and won't get a chance to talk. However, if you're set on going to the movies, take her to dinner beforehand or go out for ice cream after, so you get a chance to get to know each other. [1] X Research source
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Send her an opening text. Greet her first to get the conversation going. If you have just met her and are unsure of whether she has your number saved in your phone, then you may need to remind her who you are. Say something like "Hey, this is [so and so], we met the other day." If you are positive she has your number, then text her something like "Hey, what's up?" or "Hey, how's your day going?"- Wait until she responds to your first text before asking her out. Remember that she may be occupied and not have her phone with her, so be patient.
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Ask her out on a date. Once you have gotten the conversation going, it's time to ask her out. You may want to start by asking her what her plans are on a given day/weekend. If she says that she is free, then ask her out. Send a text saying "Would you want to do [such and such] activity with me?"- Don't wait too long to ask her out. You don't want the conversation to go on a tangent and make asking her out seem too awkward or unexpected. There's no need to make too much small talk when you're just texting each other. [2]
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Expert Source
Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 27 November 2019. - Keep it short and simple. Just say something like, "Interested in a movie?" or "Want to go bowling this Friday evening?"
- Have a concrete place and a time where you want to meet. If you just say, "Want to go see a movie some time?" then you'll sound indecisive. It's important to state a time so she knows you're serious and you thought it out.
- Give her an option to do something else. Maybe she wants to go out with you, but she's a terrible bowler; maybe she wants to go to dinner, but she just went to the place you suggested last night. Make it clear that you have a plan, but that you're open to doing something else, too.
- Don't wait too long to ask her out. You don't want the conversation to go on a tangent and make asking her out seem too awkward or unexpected. There's no need to make too much small talk when you're just texting each other. [2]
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Expert Source
Joshua Pompey
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Respond to her answer. If she says yes, then iron out the details; decide on where/when you will meet and make driving arrangements if necessary. Once you have decided on the date, casually end the conversation by saying something like "Great, see you on Saturday!" Don't continue to text her too much afterward, or you may be coming on too strong. However, if she starts texting you a lot, then you can respond too.- Be sure to let her know that you are looking forward to the date if she says yes. This will make her feel special and have her looking forward to the date as well.
- If she declines your offer, then let her know that there are no hard feelings and end the conversation. You want to keep your head up high and end things on a good note.
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Determine whether or not she is interested in you romantically. In most cases, you should only ask a girl to be your girlfriend after you have gone on several dates and know that she is interested in you as more than just a friend; if you're younger and are used to asking girls to be your girlfriend before going on dates, then look for signs that she likes you, such as her blushing when you talk, or the fact that she waits for you after class. Having an idea of whether or not she likes you back can improve your chances when you ask.- If you have never spoken to her, don't know her very well, or know that she is already romantically involved with somebody else, then don't ask her out. There are plenty of other fish in the sea!
- You don't have to be 100% sure about whether or not she likes you, but try to read her body language and words the next time you're together. Does she turn her body toward you, seem a bit nervous in your presence, or look excited to see you? If so, then these are pretty good signs that she might be interested.
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Send an opening text. Start off by greeting her with something like "Hey you," "Hey, how have you been?" or "Hey, how is your day going?" This will help ease into the conversation and prepare her for the question. Let the conversation flow naturally. There's no need to be extra clever right at the beginning or to make what you think is a hilarious comment. It's better to be direct and to stick to the point; she'll be impressed by your confidence if you don't dilly dally too much. [3] X Research source- Though you may not know what every second of her day looks like, try to send it at a time when she is likely to not be too busy. For example, if you know she has soccer practice right after school, send it a few hours after that.
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Let her know how you feel about her first. Tell her that you enjoy spending time with her, and compliment the qualities that make her unique, explaining why you like spending time with her so much. Try saying something like "I've really enjoyed spending these last few weeks with you," or "You really make me feel special," or "I've never felt this way about anybody before." Whatever you choose to say, be honest and only say things that you really mean. That said, you don't need to go overboard with the praise.- Wait for her to respond before asking her to be your girlfriend. How she responds to statements like these will help you determine whether or not she's interested in a relationship with you without you having to ask her explicitly.
- See if she reciprocates. If she says that she feels the same way about you, then go ahead and ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend. If she doesn't respond, or simply says "thanks" without telling you how she feels, then she might not be interested.
- Don't smother her with compliments, as this can come across and insincere and overwhelming.
- Reader Poll: We asked 231 wikiHow readers and 58% of them agreed that their favorite type of compliments to receive are ones about their character or personality . [Take Poll] So try something related to who she is on the inside, like “I really admire your ambition” or “You’re so thoughtful.”
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Ask her to be your girlfriend. There are several ways to phrase this question. You can ask her straight-out by saying something like "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" or "Can I call you my girlfriend?" or "Do you want to become an official couple?" Don't wait too long to pop the question. The sooner you ask it, the sooner you can move forward.- Alternatively, you can leave her with a more open-ended question like "So where do you see this going?" or "Are you open to the idea of having a boyfriend?" Open-ended questions like these show her that you genuinely care about her wants and needs, and are willing to compromise to make her happy. This can take some of the pressure off, though you may not be getting the answer you want.
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React appropriately. If she wants to be your girlfriend, then great! The first thing you can do is to suggest a fun, simple activity that you can do together, like going to a show or going bowling, and also pick a time and a place to meet. This can make her see that you're really serious about her and have put a lot of thought into your potential relationship.- If she's not interested , then be nice and thank her for talking to you. It's best to leave things on a good note so you can feel proud of your mature reaction.
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Determine whether or not she already has a date, if possible. If she has a boyfriend, then you can safely assume that she is going to the dance with him. If you're unsure of whether or not she has a date, then don't worry; ask her out anyway! You can try to ask your friends if they know, or even to ask her friends if she has a date, but be aware that this makes it likely that it will get back to her; you may be better off just winging it.- Don't ask a girl to ditch her current date if she already has one. It will be unfair to the other guy and will reflect poorly on you.
- Make sure you do this early enough that you have higher chances of getting a favorable response. If we're talking about the prom, then you should ask at least a month or two in advance, at the least. If it's a more common school dance, then give it a few weeks to be safe.
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Send her a friendly text first. Get the conversation started by texting her something like "Hey, how's it going?" or "Hey, what are you up to?" Wait until she responds before asking her out, and let the conversation flow naturally. If she doesn't have your number, let her know who you are and how you got her number; you don't want her to be uncomfortable or to ignore the text because she doesn't know who it's coming from. -
Ask her to the dance. You either do this by sending a straightforward text saying "Would you like to go to the dance with me?" or by first asking her whether or not she has plans for the dance. If she says no, then say something like "I'd love it if you came with me," or "I think it'd be really fun if we went together." [4] X Research source- If you want to, you can even make a crack about your dancing skills or say something about how she can show you how to rock the dance floor. There's no need to take yourself too seriously here!
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Make the necessary plans. If she says yes, congratulations! Now you will have to set up a time and place to meet, coordinate outfits if applicable, and decide on transportation. Don't be nervous about it—the hard part is over and now you can just relax and enjoy the ride.- Let her know that you are excited to go with her and that you think it's going to be a great time. This will make her feel special and have her looking forward to going with you.
- If she says no or already has plans, then let her know that there are no hard feelings and end the conversation. Try to play it cool and say something like "No worries, I hope you have fun anyway!"
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How Do You Ask Someone Out Over Text?
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat should I text a girl I like?Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.If you have seen her recently, then try to come up with an excuse to start a conversation based on your last interaction. For example, if you were recently at a party together, text her something like "Hey, how was the rest of your night?" If you are in a class together, try something like "Are you ready for the test on Monday?"
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QuestionWhen should I ask a girl out over text?Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.You may have heard advice that you need to wait 2-3 days so that you don't come off as desperate. This is kind of outdated advice today. Since everyone is carrying their phone with them at all times, it's perfectly fine to ask a girl on a date the day after you first met her or exchanged numbers. Don't worry; it won't make you seem desperate if you ask!
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QuestionHow do I know if a girl likes me?Community AnswerIt's not always easy to tell, but she might talk to you more than others, maintain eye contact, laugh a lot at your jokes, respond quickly to your texts, etc. You could also try casually touching her on the arm or leg during conversation and see how she responds. If she smiles, touches you back, etc. these are good signs.
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201210/smart-dating-dating-as-an-informational-interview
- ↑ Joshua Pompey. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/just-asking-it-part-ii-why-dating-partners-say-yes
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/5-ways-to-indirectly-ask-for-a-date
About This Article
Article Summary
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To ask a girl out over text, start by sending an opening message to get your conversation going, like, “Hey, how’s your day going?”. Once you’ve started texting, ask her out early in the conversation, which will make you seem decisive. When you ask her, try to have a concrete idea of what you could do, like going for lunch or attending a concert, since a specific activity will be more appealing than just saying “Let’s hang out.” For example, try writing, “Want to go bowling this Friday evening?”. If she says yes, respond with a time and place to meet, and mention that you’re looking forward to your date, which will make her feel special. For tips on how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend over text, keep reading!
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Reader Success Stories
- "I was taking it slow and then I hyped myself up to get ready to ask a girl out to the movies. I texted her asking if she wanted to go to this new upcoming movie, and guess what, she said yes." ..." more
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"I was taking it slow and then I hyped myself up to get ready to ask a girl out to the movies. I texted her asking if she wanted to go to this new upcoming movie, and guess what, she said yes."
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