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How to tell when it’s time to shoot your shot and tell a girl you like her
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This article was co-authored by John Keegan
and by wikiHow staff writer, Glenn Carreau
. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
There are 8 references
cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
This article has been viewed 118,439 times.
Are you interested in a girl but would rather not say anything until you know she feels the same? You’re not alone. It can be nerve-racking to approach a crush, but knowing all the signs that she’s into you can give you a boost of confidence. So, whether you've known her for a few days or have had a crush on her for a while, keep reading! We’ve prepared a handy list of all the secret signals that she wants you to make a move, with tips on the best ways to ask her out.
Things You Should Know
- You might see her use flirty body language to signal her attraction to you, like frequent glances, sustained eye contact, and subtle, coy touches.
- She may communicate her wish for you to make a move verbally by giving you compliments and recalling small details about your life.
- To show you that she’s interested, she might do thoughtful things for you. This can include dropping everything to do you a favor or giving a gift for no reason.
Steps
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Long looks could mean you have her attention, and she likes what she sees. Glance over at her from time to time and see if she’s looking at you. If she likes you, she may communicate it through coy glances or frequent eye contact. If you catch her looking at you, she might look away while blushing or double down and hold your gaze—and both are strong hints that she wants you to make a move . [1] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- Smiling can also signal her interest. If you catch her looking at you, she might smile before looking away or smile and keep staring.
- When it’s time to make a move, walk up to her and say hi! Depending on where you are, you could ask her to sit down and talk, grab a bite to eat, or even take a walk.
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“Accidental” touches imply she’s attracted to you and wants to be closer. The next time you’re with her, see how often she quietly manages to touch you, whether she’s playfully slapping your arm after a joke or letting her fingers linger on your hand when giving you something. Physical touch is a strong sign of attraction, so if she’s always giving you subtle touches, it might be time to make a move.
- Take any opportunity you can to get closer to her, whether it's sharing a couch with her or giving her a hug to say hello.
- Then, try extending the interaction. For example, wrap your arm around her shoulder while sitting next to her, or give her a longer hug than you normally would.
- Make sure she is okay with closeness by asking “May I? ” or “Is this okay?” Back off and let her pull away if it turns out that she isn’t interested.
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She may compliment you to show you that she admires you greatly. Even if she isn’t coming right out and telling you that she’s crushing on you, a sweet-natured compliment can say a lot about her feelings. Keep track of how often she compliments you and what she says; the more compliments she gives you, the more interest she’s showing. [2] X Research source
- Compliments are a great way to show someone you think like them, so return the favor. Offer her compliments regularly to let her know how wonderful she is.
- To make a move, try giving her a flirty compliment or two. Say something like, “You look absolutely amazing,” or “That drawing is so good. You know you’re incredible, right?”
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By seeking you out, she’s might be giving you chances to make a move. Does the girl you like initiate a lot of conversations with you? She might text you out of the blue to say hi, call you whenever she has some spare time, or show up at your favorite coffee shop around the same time you do. If she makes a lot of effort to talk to you, she may be trying to tell you she enjoys your company. [3] X Research source
- In a group setting, she’ll also make a point to break away from the rest of the gang and talk to you alone. She may even be hoping that a little privacy will encourage you to make a move!
- Start initiating more conversations with her, too. Show her that talking to her is a priority and you’re interested in spending even more time with her. [4] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- For example, you could make a point to text her on your own initiative every couple of days and ask how she’s doing. Or, you could set up a time and place for the two of you to meet up every week.
Quiz
wikiHow Quiz: Does She Like Me?
Some girls can feel like a total mystery. How can you figure out if she likes you just as a friend or if she wants something more? Take this quiz to find out!
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How do her friends treat you?
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If she’s responsive, it could mean she’s invested in her connection with you. Girls who aren’t that interested will likely respond to you in their own time. Girls who want you to make a move, on the other hand, tend to reply quickly—if not immediately—to messages. The more engaged and enthusiastic she seems, the more she probably likes you. [5] X Research source
- If you’ve been texting this girl a lot lately, you could make your move by sending her a message that says something like, “I really like talking to you! We should do this in person more often.”
- A message like that can help the two of you move away from texts and start spending more time together face-to-face.
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Engaging on IG might be a subtle way to get your attention. If she likes or comments on all your posts, she might be indirectly saying, “You’re really cool, and I want to learn more about you.” She may even comment on old posts from months or years ago or start liking your new posts at lightning-fast speed, which is a hint that she has alerts for whenever you post. [6] X Research source
- Since she’s so active on your social media, why not slide into her DMs and send a flirty message online ?
- Don’t send anything explicit, especially since she probably hasn’t asked for it. Instead, send a sweet and friendly message to get the conversation started.
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Being available could be her way of saying she wants more time with you. When you ask her if she’s free, the answer is always yes. When you suggest doing something together, she’s always happy to make plans. She may even take the initiative and ask you if you’re free or want to hang out. In short, a girl may go out of her way to be available when she wants you to ask her out . [7] X Research source
- Being available is another way for her to give you opportunities to make your move.
- If she seems eager to spend a lot of one-on-one time with you, take advantage of it! While you’re together, ask her if she’d be interested in a proper date next time.
- Reader Poll: We asked 840 wikiHow readers who've asked out their crush, and 54% of them agreed that the best way to do so is by casually suggesting to hang out and spend time together. [Take Poll]
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By showing interest in you, she may be saying that she likes you. It’s easy math: she likes you and wants to be involved with you romantically, so of course she cares about everything going on in your life! She’ll likely ask you personal questions about your family, interests, future plans, career, and more in an effort to get to know you better.
- If you think she’s sending you a signal by taking an interest in your life, do the same for her. Ask her personal questions to show her that you’re interested in her, too. [8] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- You could even ask flirty questions to help get the ball rolling and make a move.
- Try questions like, “What do you think is the most attractive quality in another person?” “What’s your favorite way to relax?” or “What is something about you that people would never guess?”
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She may try to keep the convo going if she’s got a crush. When you like someone, it can feel like you’ll never have enough time with them! Two people who really click can often spend hours talking about everything and anything; if that’s what she’s doing with you, then she’s more than likely feeling a spark. If she seems reluctant to say goodbye, that’s another positive sign. [9] X Research source
- You could use your conversation as a segue into asking her out on a date. Try something like, “Talking to you is the most fun I’ve had in a while. I’d love to continue the conversation over dinner sometime if you’re interested?”
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When you're important to her, she'll want to remember what you say. If she can easily recall details about your life, that may mean that she really cares for you! See how often she brings up a detail about your life to gauge her interest in you. For example, she might ask for updates on a project you’re working on or see how your family is doing after you tell her they’re going through a tough time. [10] X Research source
- Be reciprocal. Actively listen when she tells you about herself and show her that you remember the little things about her, too. [11] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- When she remembers small things about you, show her you see and appreciate her effort. It could even be an opportunity to spend more time with her.
- For example, you could say, “I’m so happy you remembered that I’m a comic book fan! Next time I go to my favorite comic shop, would you want to come with me?”
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Dressing up might be her way of catching your attention. Take note of how she dresses and carries herself when she knows she’ll be seeing you; odds are, she’ll put effort into both because she wants you to notice. For example, she might apply makeup, do her nails, style her hair, or dress elegantly (or suggestively, depending on where you are).
- Give her a compliment that acknowledges the effort she’s putting in and let her know that you always appreciate what you see.
- For example, you could say something like, “Wow, those nails must have taken a while to finish. They look amazing—and so do you.”
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Many people feel nervous around the person they’re crushing on. If the girl you like is on the shy or introverted side, she might have a nervous reaction when you walk over to her. Even if she’s bold from a distance, she might get a little tongue-tied the minute you start turning on the charm. Take note of her reaction when you approach: if she fidgets, blushes, or gets flustered, she might want you to make a move.
- Since she’s a bit nervous, approach her alone so the two of you stay within her comfort zone and have a private conversation. Try getting to know her a little and suggest an activity you could do the next time you meet.
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Staring at your lips could be an invitation to come closer—or even kiss. Try to follow her gaze if you notice her looking your way. Is she actually looking right at your mouth? If so, she may be trying to signal that she’s strongly attracted to you. This is no guarantee, but still, there’s a definite possibility that she’s telling you she wants a smooch. How exciting! [12] X Research source
- If she’s staring at your lips, you might be able to ask for a kiss . You could say something like, “I’ve been thinking about kissing you all evening. Would that be okay?”
- Wait for her to give enthusiastic consent before making your move. Then, lean in and let the fireworks begin!
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Gifts are often a sign she wants to win you over (and gauge your interest). Even if she plays it off casually and insists that it’s “no big deal,” a lady who offers you small, thoughtful gifts out of the blue could be trying to tell you that she likes you. She’ll also be studying your reaction, and if you seem happy and excited, she may see it as a sign that you return her feelings. [13] X Research source
- Make a move by coming up with a sweet gesture or gift in return. Pick a gesture that definitely has romantic overtones so she can understand your intentions.
- For example, you could buy her flowers or ask if you can take her out for a drink to say “thanks.”
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Helping you out can be a way to show that she cares. Is she the first one to come running or offer help when you’re struggling with something? Does she seem genuinely happy that you accepted her help? A girl who is interested in being with you will likely have no problem dropping everything to help you out because she genuinely cares for your well-being. [14] X Research source
- If she goes out of her way to help you, be sure to show appreciation. You could say something like, “Thank you so much for your help the other day. I feel so lucky to have you in my life.”
- You could also get her a small gift as a gesture of appreciation, like a box of her favorite candy or a bag of her favorite tea leaves.
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She may drop hints so you’ll see she’s available (and pursue her). If she’s single and ready to mingle (with you, specifically), she might casually mention that she isn’t dating anyone. Note if she brings up her relationship status; she might make a joke or mention it in an attempt to get your attention and see if you’re interested. [15] X Research source
- For example, she might say something like, “That restaurant looks so cool, but I don’t know who I’d go with,” or “Looks like I’ll be spending Valentine’s with my darling doggie this year!”
- If you want to take things slow, drop a flirty hint in response. Say something like, “If I were your date, I’d feel like the luckiest person around,” or “Well, if you ever need a date, you know where to find me!”
- If you prefer directness, this is a great opportunity to ask her out. You know she’s available, so try something like, “Well, I’m relieved that you’re single because I happen to like you a lot. Would you like to go out with me?”
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She may make a few coy advances to see if she can get your attention. Watch her behavior around you for signs of flirting. She may pick subtle moves, like tossing her hair, laughing at all your jokes (even the corny ones), or sitting close enough to touch you. If she’s feeling bolder, she might start trading witty banter and sending flirty texts with you as well. [16] X Research source
- The easiest way to make you move here is to simply flirt back.
- For example, you could send her a flattering text, like, “Hey there, gorgeous! Couldn’t help thinking about you today!”
- You could also tease her in a flirty manner. If she texted you something suggestive, you could respond by saying, “Careful now, don’t make me come over there! Not that I’d be opposed to it. 😉”
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If her friends know she likes you, they might ask if you feel the same. Has one or two of her friends ever approached you and mentioned the girl you like in a conversation? Maybe they’ve even said something a little obvious, like, “I can see why she never stops talking about you!” If so, it may mean she has feelings for you, and her friends have decided to see if you’re going to make a move. [17] X Research source
- If her friends are trying to gauge your interest in her, you could drop a hint that the feeling is mutual. Try something like, “She’s really amazing. I’ve never met anyone like her!”
- Otherwise, you could simply decide to take their word for it and make a move. She likely cares for you quite a bit if her friends went to the trouble of approaching you.
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Tips
- Remember that, although these are all strong signs, they’re not definite. If you make your move and she tells you she isn’t interested, trust what she’s telling you and do your best to move on. It may not be the outcome you’re hoping for, but in time you’ll be ready to get back out there and find someone who returns your feelings wholeheartedly. [18] X Research sourceThanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
- ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/how-to-tell-if-a-girl-likes-you/
- ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/how-to-tell-if-a-girl-likes-you/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
- ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/how-to-tell-if-a-girl-likes-you/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
- ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/how-to-tell-if-a-girl-likes-you/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/202005/heshe-likes-me-heshe-likes-me-not
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/female-body-language/
- ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/how-to-tell-if-a-girl-likes-you/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
- ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/how-to-tell-if-a-girl-likes-you/
- ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/how-to-tell-if-a-girl-likes-you/
- ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/how-to-tell-if-a-girl-likes-you/
- ↑ https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/dealing-with-rejection/
About This Article
This article was co-authored by John Keegan
and by wikiHow staff writer, Glenn Carreau
. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 118,439 times.
19 votes - 51%
Co-authors: 3
Updated: September 16, 2024
Views: 118,439
Categories: Getting a Girlfriend
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 118,439 times.
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Co-authors: 3
Updated: September 16, 2024
Views: 118,439
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