How to Get a Guy in Your Teenage Years

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There’s a cute guy you’ve been crushing on for a while now, or maybe you’re just ready to meet someone and turn him into your boyfriend. Either way, you might be wondering how exactly to go about winning a guy over. Don’t worry—we’ve put together the ultimate guide to winning a teenage boy’s heart. We’ll walk you through the best ways to meet guys (if you don’t already have someone in particular in mind), get to know them better, and make your feelings known when you've found that special someone.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Getting Ready to Meet a Guy

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  1. Whenever you are talking with that special guy, make sure to be yourself. Changing your personality, interests, and looks will get tiring and frustrating after a while. [1] You don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who does not like the real you anyways. [2]
  2. While being in a relationship with someone is more than just a mutual interest in physical appearance, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best to catch your crush’s attention. Pick out outfits that make you feel confident, while still adhering to your personal style.
    • If you are interested in using makeup, do so sparingly. Use makeup to enhance your natural features, not cover them up. [3]
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  3. Remind yourself that you are full of wonderful qualities, that you are unique, and that you are worthy of love. Don't get down on yourself before you have even tried to pursue your crush. Hold your head high and have confidence in yourself. [4] Feel comfortable in your skin, and believe that you are someone worth being in a relationship with.
    • Write down what you like about yourself to help boost your confidence. After writing this list, think of ways you can show him these best qualities. If you like your sense of humor, keep that in mind when you talk to him and tell him a funny story. If you like your eyes, maybe accentuate them with some makeup. If you are confident in yourself, others will take notice. [5]
  4. As a teenager, it is easiest to meet a guy at school, local hangout spots, or even at school functions that bring together other students in the district. Get out of your house and socialize with people. You never know who you are going to meet. [6]
    • If you are a guy, you can meet other guys if you join an LGBTQ club at your school, or a local meetup group at an LGBTQ resource center.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Getting to Know a Crush

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  1. Talking to someone for the first time can be very nerve wracking and intimidating. Look for an opportunity to confidently introduce yourself, and see if you can strike up a conversation with him. [7]
    • One of the easiest conversation topics is school. If you are in the same class with him, talk to him about a difficult homework assignment or an upcoming test. You may find out that he loves history class, or is not fond of gym.
    • If there is an upcoming assembly meeting, grab a close friend to be your wing-person, and go sit next to your crush at the assembly. This will give you an opportunity to not only get to know your crush, but maybe get to know some of his friends as well.
    • Don’t feel obligated to talk about the lovely weather, instead, try talking about something that genuinely interests you or that you are passionate about. This will help you portray more confidence in what you are saying, and give insight into your personality.
  2. You cannot just talk to your crush once, and claim that your work is done. Friendships and relationships take a lot of work and effort to blossom and maintain. So if you talked to him in class, continuing talking to him in class, or even in the hallways between classes.
    • After a few conversations, maybe even casually exchange phone numbers, become friends on social media, or send him an instant message online. Use whatever method you are comfortable with to keep the conversation going.
    • Don’t be overly pushy. Sometimes, a guy just might not be interested in pursuing a relationship or even a friendship with you. If it seems like he is not interested in making conversation with you, it might be best to cut your losses and move on.
    • Don’t play emotional games, or try to stir up drama to get him to notice you. You might successfully catch his attention by doing this, but immature games and acts will become tiring over time. [8]
  3. Sometimes the key to winning a person’s heart is by getting along with their friends. Make an effort to learn who his friends are, and get to know them. This will show your crush that you are interested in his life as a whole, and not just him. There is a reason your crush hangs out with certain people, so you might just wind up making a new group of friends in the process.
    • An easy way to do this would be to sit with them at lunch. You don’t have to go by yourself if you are nervous. Grab a friend or two to join you and take some of the pressure off.
    • Also have your crush get to know your friends as well. Just because you are interested in someone romantically, does not mean you stop hanging out with your friends. [9]
    • If a guy invites you to hang out with his friends, that's also a good sign that he likes you. However, you should keep looking for other signs of his interest as well (e.g. him complimenting you or taking an interest in your life).
    • Reader Poll: We asked 545 wikiHow readers and only 13% thought that the strongest sign of a guy liking you is him inviting you into his plans . [Take Poll]
  4. [10] Try and find out what his hobbies or interests are. Maybe ask about what his family is like, or if he has any pets. Just be respectful with any questions you ask. If there is a topic or question that he does not seem comfortable with, don’t pry. It takes time to build trust with someone. If you respect his privacy now, he might just confide in you later.
    • Be an active listener when he is speaking. Show that you are engaged by smiling, laughing, or offering small words of understanding. Staying engaged with the conversation will help keep it flowing. [11]
  5. You don’t want your conversations with him to feel like a one-sided interrogation, so make sure to also reciprocate in answering any questions he has. It is just as important for him to get to know you as it is for you to get to know him. This will also help you discover ideas or hobbies you both have in common. [12]
    • Talk about things that are important to you, or things that you are deeply interested in. This does not mean that you spill your deepest, darkest secrets to him, but try and focus on parts of your personality that you would like to share with him. Maybe talk about why you first got involved with a hobby or sport, or maybe share a funny story to break any tension.
  6. One of the easiest ways to truly get to know someone is to become their friend. You will have more opportunities to get to hang out with him, and talk to him if he considers you friend rather than just a classmate. [13]
    • Be patient with your progress. If you rush into confessing your feelings before he has even had the chance to get to know you, he might begin to feel pressured or caught off guard. Relationships can take time to grow, so don’t get discouraged if after a few weeks you aren’t dating. [14]
    • If you are unsure of a guy’s orientation, take the time to get to him before you ask him directly. It might come up casually in conversation, or a topic you both are talking about might open up an opportunity for you to ask. Just use your best judgement to protect yourself, and respect his preferences. [15]
    • Don’t worry about getting trapped in the “friend-zone.” Some of the strongest relationships form from a solid friendship. If the both of you are meant to be more than friends, it will happen. What is important is that you respect each other’s wishes, and take the time to get to know each other. [16]
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Making Your Feelings Known

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  1. [17] Even though it may feel awkward or embarrassing at times to be noticed for something, people enjoy being complimented. Don’t be afraid to say something nice to him from time to time. Just be genuine with whatever compliments you give. False compliments can greatly damage the trust between you both.
    • Give a mix of compliments based on his physical appearance as well as his personal thoughts. If on a particular day you like the shirt he is wearing, tell him. If he has a great sense of humor and always manages to make you laugh, you should let him know that.
  2. In order to move past being just school friends, you are going to have to hang out with him off school grounds. If this is going to be the first time you hang out with him not in a group, aim for activities or locations that you both will enjoy. [18]
    • If you want a low-pressure, public location, ask him to go hang out in the park or at the mall this weekend. If you want something structured more like a date, ask him to catch a movie or grab dinner at a local diner.
    • If you are too nervous to ask him directly, drop subtle hints that you would like to hang out sometime, or that you are excited to see a movie that you know you both will enjoy. He might just take the bait and ask you to hang out instead.
  3. It is important put in the extra effort to be a little flirtatious, otherwise, he may just think of you as a friend. You don’t have to be obnoxious with your flirtations, but just use subtle body language cues to let him know that you are interested in being more than friends. [19]
    • Making eye contact with someone, especially if you are not used to it, can feel very revealing or intimate. Look at him in the eyes when he is talking to you, or make eye contact with him from across the classroom. If you add a laugh when he says something funny, or a small smile when he looks at you, it will shift the tone of your relationship. Just be casual about doing this, otherwise it might seem like you are staring at him, and it will make him feel uncomfortable. [20]
    • Respectfully make physical contact with him. This can be something as simple as touching his arm when he makes a joke or tells you something surprising, or it can be something more bold like giving him a hug or ruffling his hair when you wish him good luck on an exam. [21] [22]
  4. If you are lucky, you might not be the only one flirting during this courtship. Take a few moments to notice his own body language, and what he might be silently trying to tell you as well. Noticing any of his flirtations might just give you a good confidence boost. [23]
    • Some common signs of him being interested in you would be if he puts his arm around your shoulder or waist, if he glances at your mouth when you are talking, or if his pupils dilate when he first looks at you.
  5. Even though it may seem scary or nerve wracking, your feelings will sound more sincere and real if you tell him in person. Messages sent over social media or via text tend to sound flat compared to spoken words. Invite him to a place you two normally hang out at, take a deep breath, and tell him how you feel.
    • Practice what you want to say to him ahead of time. Try doing this in front of a mirror and keep eye contact with yourself. This will help work out some of the nervous feelings you might have for when you tell him in person.
    • Respect his feelings. If you confess your feelings and he tells you he wants to just remain friends or is not ready for a relationship, you need to respect his feelings. You cannot force someone to like you romantically if they don’t. While it may hurt at first, try and continue your friendship with him. Even though he may not want to be your boyfriend, he can still be a really good lifelong friend if you want him to be.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can I get a teenage boy to like me?
    Imad Jbara
    Dating Coach
    Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
    Imad Jbara
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    When you talk with him, be honest with him and give him a compliment or two to show that you're interested. Ask him questions too so you can learn more about him.
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      Warnings

      • Just because you have a crush on a guy, does not mean you are committed to pursuing a relationship with him. If at any point you feel uncomfortable or you think that your personalities and interests do not match, stop pursuing him. It is not fair to you or to him to push for a relationship that you think will not work out. [24]
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      References

      1. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      2. ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-3617/The-Importance-of-Being-True-to-Yourself.html
      3. ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2206013/Less-IS-comes-make-say-men-REALLY-like-completely-bare-faced.html
      4. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      5. ↑ https://www.ronitbaras.com/emotional-intelligence/personal-development/make-a-list-8-what-i-like-about-me/
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/teen-angst/201611/10-ways-meet-new-people-message-teens
      7. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      8. ↑ https://www.thehopeline.com/why-play-mind-games
      9. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a39058/things-you-should-never-ever-change-for-your-crush/
      1. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      2. ↑ http://www.yourthoughtpartner.com/blog/bid/73770/the-8-steps-to-active-listening
      3. ↑ https://slism.com/girlstalk/how-to-impress-a-guy.html
      4. ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/crush-on-friend
      5. ↑ https://www.mindful.org/the-benefits-of-being-a-patient-person/
      6. ↑ https://www.liveabout.com/gay-teens-dating-tips-1415053
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201302/avoiding-the-friend-zone-becoming-girlfriend-or-boyfriend
      8. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      9. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/g3090/attract-a-crush/?slide=5
      10. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201203/how-flirt-without-it-seeming-youre-flirting
      11. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/g3090/attract-a-crush/?slide=3
      12. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      13. ↑ https://theartofcharm.com/flirting-and-attraction/decoding-body-language-attraction/
      14. ↑ https://theartofcharm.com/flirting-and-attraction/decoding-body-language-attraction/
      15. ↑ https://verilymag.com/2014/09/dating-tips-how-to-tell-a-guy-youre-just-not-that-into-him

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      It can feel a little intimidating to get a guy as a teenager, but start by getting to know your crush. If you haven’t already, introduce yourself and begin making small talk. You can talk about school or about what’s going on in the neighborhood. Try to keep the conversation flowing as time goes on. Talk to him in between classes, after school, or at the weekends. It can be useful to get his phone number or to connect with him on social media so that you can stay in contact. Once you’ve gotten to know him, flirt casually to see if he flirts back. Make eye contact or touch his arm if he makes a joke to see if he starts doing the same back to you. When you feel ready, tell him how you feel in person. Talk to him privately and be sincere and direct. Respect his feelings no matter the outcome so that you two can still have a good friendship if he doesn’t feel the same way. For more advice on getting a guy in your teenage years, like how to meet a guy, read on!

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