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Are you interested in someone but they happen to be a senior? Dating can be tough and the added obstacle of being in different grades can make your crush seem unattainable. However, with some courage and planning ahead, you just might be able to attract that special someone.
Steps
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Understand that age matters. As you get older, age differences will not matter as much, but in high school they matter a great deal as it includes both students who are legally adults and those who are just entering puberty. Knowing that age matters ahead of time can save you from trouble and potential heartbreak in the future.
- In high school, there’s generally more division of social groups based on grades as well. Understand that the activities seniors engage in may be very different from what you are used to. For example, it’s common for seniors to go out and party more than freshmen. Don’t engage in any dangerous or illegal activities just to spend time around your crush.
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Know and follow all laws regarding age of consent. Sexual acts between a minor and someone who is legally an adult (18+) is called statutory rape. The age of consent varies from state to state but generally charges can be brought against an 18 year old if they are caught in a compromising situation with a minor so be safe and don’t break the law.
- Understand that this is one major drawback of dating an older person in high school. If they start pressuring you to engage in sexual acts that you are not ready for, stay true to yourself and don’t cave. If they do not respect your boundaries, it’s time to end the relationship.
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Accept your differences. In terms of expectations and daily life, being a senior can be pretty different from being a freshman. After all, seniors are in their last year of high school and therefore have to prepare for the future. Oftentimes, this means that seniors are busier with college applications, job searches, testing, socializing, and more. Be prepared for and accepting of these and any other grade-related differences.
- Not only are there differences in terms of workload and social groups, but freshmen and seniors also differ in terms of maturity, both physical and psychological. Because of this, it may be inadvisable to get into a relationship with someone who is much older than you unless you are both sure that you’re at a similar level in terms of emotional and psychological maturity, which will lead to the two of you making safe, healthy decisions. [1] X Research source
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Stick to your boundaries. Don’t push your boundaries or let anyone else cross them. Always be sure to firmly establish what the boundaries are in your relationship (should you end up in one). Otherwise, you may find yourself in an uncomfortable situation. [2] X Research source
- These boundaries are not only physical but also mental and emotional. Decide what you want out of a relationship beforehand and don’t stay with someone who doesn’t respect the boundaries that you have decided on. For example, if you end up going to parties where seniors are drinking or doing drugs, don’t feel pressured to join in. And if your crush (or anyone else for that matter) pushes you to do things you’re uncomfortable with, that’s a clear sign to walk away.
- One in three adolescents in the United States is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner. Keep yourself safe by watching for warning signs, such as aggression, threats, or manipulative behaviors. As a freshmen, you are more vulnerable to be on the receiving end of relationship abuse as seniors tend to be older, bigger, and may see themselves as having power over you.
- If you feel unsafe or think you may be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, seek help from a trusted family member or other adult.
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Find out if your crush is available. You want to start by finding out basic information, such as whether they are already in a relationship or not. It’s always best to know ahead of time and if it turns out they are unavailable, you could still get to know them as friends!
- To find out this information, ask around but try to be discreet about it and only ask friends you know you can trust. After all, you don’t want the word getting around that you are interested in someone without getting a chance to know them first!
- If you don’t already know their age, find out! After all, if you are in the older end of your grade and your crush is young for their grade, there might not even be much of an age gap between you two.
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Learn your crush’s hobbies. Getting to know what your crush’s hobbies are will not only give you something to talk about, but will also inform you if you two are actually a good fit. After all, an infatuation may be based on being attracted to someone’s looks, but a relationship requires having similar interests and goals and it’s better to find out sooner rather than later if you aren’t actually compatible with your crush.
- For example, ask around to see if they are involved in any sports, clubs, or extracurricular activities. Or, if you already speak to each other from time to time, make a point of casually asking your crush about what they’re into. Maybe they’re secretly a film buff or love to draw and you do too. Don’t be afraid to ask as you may end up having some unexpected interests in common!
- Once you’ve learned about some of their activities, you can include yourself in them, especially if they are school-related, such as a sports or club. Just be sure to do it if you are also actively interested in the activity--never do something just for the sake of being around your crush.
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Meet your crush. If you haven’t talked to your crush before, make a point of doing so! After all, the best way to get to know a person is simply by talking to them. Though the grade difference may intimidate you at first, if your crush is a kind, mature person, they’ll look beyond that and treat you like any other human being.
- Since there are very few private places in school, you may always feel like you have an audience watching you when you approach your crush. You can either decide to just ignore the onlookers or approach your crush in a more relaxed setting, such as at the beginning or end of the lunch period or between classes.
- Be relaxed and direct in introducing yourself. Avoid blushing, giggling, or otherwise showing signs of nervousness as that can just make both you and your crush feel awkward. Keep the introduction short and simple by saying something along the lines of, “Hey my name is _____ and I just wanted to say hi because I’ve seen you around and you seem like a really cool person.”
- If you have a sibling or other friends who are seniors, you can also ask them to introduce you to your crush. That’ll take some of the pressure off of you and also give your crush more of a reason to get to know you.
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Get to know your crush’s background. Learning more about your crush’s values, faith, and culture can teach you a great deal about who they are as a person and, again, show you whether you two would actually be compatible dating.
- Ask them questions about their religion, beliefs, or background but do it in a way that isn’t overly prying or obnoxious. Just take a sincere interest in getting to know them as a person and pick up on nonverbal cues. For example, if they only tell you the bare minimum about their family or what they believe in, don’t press them and instead move onto another subject or tell them a little bit about yourself. After all, the goal is to get to know your crush and if you interrogate them too much, you may end up driving them away!
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Be yourself. It’s not just a cliche--being yourself is likely one of the most crucial steps to attracting your crush. After all, you don’t want your crush to fall for a fake version of yourself and if they are not interested in you, you’ll know right from the get-go that this isn’t the person for you and not to waste your time.
- For example, if you prefer reading and watching movies over going to your high school football games, don’t pretend that you’re a huge sports fan. You want your crush to like you for you, not the person you're pretending to be.
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Be confident and laidback. Perhaps the biggest difference between being a senior and a freshman is that everything in the school is new for freshmen. After a few years, most students develop more confidence and ease and this comes naturally with age. However, if you want to attract a senior, you will have to project that same sort of laidback confidence.
- Be aware of your body language. Everyone picks up on body cues subconsciously so communicate confidence with good posture, direct eye contact, and an easygoing smile.
- If you are feeling uncomfortable or insecure, fake it til you make it. Laugh and smile a lot and try to keep things in stride. For example, if someone insults you while you are talking to your crush, make a lighthearted joke about it rather than getting upset or depressed.
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Be mature. People are interested in dating those with the same maturity level and so, as you get to know your crush, aim to match their maturity level. Depending on your individual personalities, this may not require all that much effort on your part. Girls also tend to mature more quickly than boys [3] X Research source so if you are a freshman girl interested in a senior guy, you may find your levels of maturity are actually similar.
- If that isn’t the case, practice maturity by being organized, disciplined, and rational in your decision making. [4] X Research source Of course, there’s only so much you can do as maturity comes with age, but consciously working towards being mature rather than childlike will definitely make you stand out from other freshmen.
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Learn healthy relationship skills. Not only will learning about healthy relationships help you know what to expect, but it will also make you more confident and self-assured. After all, if you are trying to attract a senior, you should know the fundamentals of healthy relationships instead of always looking to them for guidance as this will create an unequal power dynamic. Finally, understanding and practicing healthy relationship skills will set you up for safe and fulfilling relationships down the road.
- Good communication and mutual respect are perhaps the two most crucial aspects of any healthy relationship. When talking to your crush, be honest about yourself and practice good listening skills. Also be sure to respect them by being considerate of their time and feelings (and make sure they are reciprocating!).
- You’ll know if you are in a healthy relationship if you feel good about yourself and energized when spending time with that person. Unhealthy relationships tend to be emotionally unfulfilling, draining, and negative so make sure to watch for how you feel when spending time with your crush as that will clue you into whether the relationship is actually healthy or not. [5] X Research source
- Reader Poll: We asked 329 wikiHow readers how they addressed insecurities in a relationship, and 69% of them said that the most helpful approaches were open communication and honesty. [Take Poll] If you want to make something happen, it's important to be upfront.
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Warnings
- Put your academic success first. A high percentage of high school students are not ready for college [6] X Research source and though chasing after someone may be more fun, you’ll thank yourself later for the hard work you put in now. After all, people come and go, but you are ultimately responsible for your own life.Thanks
- Make time for your friends even if you do begin dating a senior. After all, your friends will be there for you throughout your romantic relationships and you should never sacrifice other aspects of socializing just for one person.Thanks
- Be sure to have parental consent on both sides. Even if you two are not sexually active, the idea of dating can be difficult for parents, particularly if there is an age difference. Understand that your parents are just looking out for your safety and wellbeing and don’t hide your relationship from them.Thanks
- Don’t be too surprised if they aren’t interested. Many seniors are looking ahead to the future as they have less than a year of high school left and so won’t be as interested in dating. If this turns out to be the case with your crush, don’t take it too personally and just move on.Thanks
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References
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-enloe/high-school-relationship-tips_b_3007582.html
- ↑ http://learningpath.org/articles/Top_10_Tips_for_High_School_Dating.html
- ↑ http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/10529134/Girls-really-do-mature-quicker-than-boys-scientists-find.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-experience/201308/how-become-more-adult-and-successful-in-your-life
- ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2011/06/02/healthy-relationships/
- ↑ https://www.usnews.com/education/blogs/college-admissions-playbook/articles/what-to-do-for-college-during-each-summer-of-high-school
About This Article
Article Summary
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While it may seem difficult to get a senior to notice you, if you show off your best side and get to know them better, you might be able to spark their interest. Start conversations with them about things you have in common so you can find out what they’re like. It’s natural to be nervous when talking to your crush, but try to act confident and be yourself. This will help you seem mature and connect with your crush. Keep your interactions lighthearted and have fun with them. Don’t be afraid to lightly flirt with them a bit. That way, you’ll find out if they’re interested in you or not. If you don’t click after a few interactions and they don’t seem interested in you, it’s probably best to let them go. This can be upsetting, but you’ll find someone who’s more suitable for you soon. For more advice, including how to maintain boundaries when dating a senior, read on.
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