How to Ignore Insults

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

When you are insulted by someone, you might feel embarrassed, hurt, or frustrated. Whether this person is your boss or a parent, the insults can really be damaging. Accepting their mean comment or responding aggressively can often make matters worse. Ignoring hateful comments is often the best route, but you might be struggling with how to do it. Tune out the haters by overlooking the insult, crafting a clever response, and finding ways to end the negativity.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Being Unbothered

PDF download Download Article
  1. When people begin to insult you, let your mind take you to another place. Start thinking about what you’re going to have for dinner later or the last vacation. Once you refocus on the actual conversation, you’ll feel more positive.
  2. For the insults that you can’t ignore, step away from the situation. You don’t have to sit around and be insulted by someone if you don’t want to. If you feel that walking away is too rude, say that you have to go to the bathroom. [1]
    • If a boss or parent is insulting you, walking away from them might not be the best choice. Stick it out and ask them what they would like you to do.
    Advertisement
  3. To tune someone out, listen to music or watch a show on your phone or tablet. The noise coming through the headphones will drown out any insults you might have heard.
    • This will work particularly well if you are on the bus or walking somewhere.
  4. Check off something on your to-do list. Is your sister being a little frustrating? Begin washing the dishes. Is a kid in your class being rude? Pull out the book that you need to finish for class. If you show that you aren’t listening, they may stop with their mean comments. [2]
  5. Even if you can’t tune them out, just pretend like you never even heard what they said. If they ask you if you heard them, tell them that you didn’t. If they try to bring the insult up again, say “When did you say that? I didn’t hear you.” [3]
  6. If someone is being mean to you on social media, delete their comments. Don’t keep rereading them, but instead block their messages or unfriend them. Put your phone or laptop down and take a break. Call up a friend to vent or talk to your mom about what’s going on. [4]
  7. Above all, avoid getting emotional. Once you show emotion, they will know that they got to you and the insults may get worse. Keep your voice down, try not to cry, and take a few deep breaths. If you feel that you can’t remain calm, step away until you feel more settled. [5]
  8. Being insulted can be really tough on your emotional and mental health. Take some time each day to take care of you. Take care of your physical health by going for a run and eating nutritious foods. Take care of your mental health through meditation or joining a spiritual community. [6]
    • Plan relaxing things to do each day like taking a hot bath or watching your favorite show.
  9. Even if you’re able to shrug it off in the moment, your brain may have subconsciously soaked up the mean comment and let it stew. If you don’t address the insult internally, it may lead to negative thoughts later on. Take away the power of the insult by coming up with a positive or even funny response, even if you only say it to yourself.
    • For example, if someone insults your clothes, reframe it by asking yourself how much that person’s opinion is actually worth. They’re not a fashion expert, so their judgment doesn’t really matter. If fashion isn’t that important to you anyways, say to yourself, “Hey, at least I’m not wearing pajamas today!”
  10. In order to combat the negativity this bully brings to you, keep a list of nice things about yourself. Did someone recently compliment you on your haircut? Put that on the list. Often get told that you are good at math? List that, too. [7]
    • Keep this list on the notes section in your phone and read it to brighten your mood when you’re being insulted.
    • Just because someone insults you doesn't mean it's true! Remember that insults often come from their own anxieties, insecurities, or frustrations. [8]
    11. Advertisement
Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Seeking Solutions

PDF download Download Article
  1. Is this person someone that you have to see? If not, avoid them! Take an alternate route to class in the mornings. Avoid sitting near them during lunch. Do whatever you can, as long as it doesn’t inconvenience you, to stay away from them.
    • If you can’t avoid them, either ignore them, talk to them, or report them for their behavior.
  2. If you know you have to be around an insulting person, find a friend to come with you. Tell them a little bit about what’s going on and ask them to have your back in case things get negative.
    • Say “Do you remember me telling you about Tasha? Well, she’s coming to the party tomorrow night. Can you come with me and have my back? I don’t want to face her alone.”
  3. Though ignoring the problem might work well, sometimes a bully needs direct confrontation to stop the insults. Pull them aside to have a talk in private. Let them know that you want the negativity to stop. [9]
    • Say “Thanks for agreeing to talk to me. I’ve noticed that in meetings, you insult my work a lot. Though I appreciate constructive feedback, your comments today were not helpful. Can you try to be more positive? If not, please don’t critique my projects.”
  4. Avoid random creeps commenting on your posts and pictures by only friending people you know. Make your pages private so that others cannot access your information. [10]
  5. If the person continues to harass you even when you are doing nothing to them, report them. If you feel anxious about going to work or school because of them, tell a teacher, supervisor, or other authority figure. Make a report through your school or via the Human Resources department at your job.
    6. Advertisement
Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Responding in Clever Ways

PDF download Download Article
  1. Instead of becoming visibly upset to being insulted, let out a small laugh instead. This will signal to the insulter that their words don’t intimidate you. Your laugh also shows that you don’t take their comment seriously. [11]
    • Avoid laughing if your boss or parents insult you. Instead say “Why do you feel that way?” or “What can I do better?”
  2. If you feel an insult coming, switch the topic of conversation. Bring up the latest music, movies, or TV shows. Talk about news stories or the new assignment you got at work. [12]
    • Say something like “Oh I forgot to tell you! I watched Game of Thrones the other day for the first time! I really liked it; I remember you said you liked it, too.”
  3. Laughter can help ease even the most tense moments. If someone insults you, find a way to make the situation funny. You do not need to insult them back to do this. Laughter can also help brighten your mood. [13]
    • For instance, if they tease you about your glasses, make a comment like “Johnny, I’ve had glasses for seven years. Are you just now noticing? Maybe you need to borrow mine!”
  4. If you prefer not to walk away or joke about the insult, just accept it and move on. Make your response short and quick so that they understand that you will not engage. Simply say “Okay” or “Thank you for that” in response to them. [14]
  5. Another way to quickly shut down the insulter is to say something nice to them. This will throw them off because it is completely unexpected. Try to make the compliment somehow related to the insult that they gave you. [16]
    • For instance, if they insult your shoes, you can say “I really like your shoes. They’re cool. Where’d you get them?” and smile.
    6. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    Why would someone constantly put you down?
    Allison Broennimann, PhD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Allison Broennimann is a licensed Clinical Psychologist with a private practice based in the San Francisco Bay Area providing psychotherapy and neuropsychology services. With over a decade of experience, Dr. Broennimann specializes in in-depth psychotherapy to provide solution-focused treatments for anxiety, depression, relationship problems, grief, adjustment problems, traumatic stress, and phase-of-life transitions. And as part of her neuropsychology practice, she integrates depth psychotherapy and cognitive rehabilitation for those recovering after traumatic brain injury. Dr. Broennimann holds a BA in Psychology from the University of California, Santa Cruz, and an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Palo Alto University. She is licensed by the California Board of Psychology and is a member of the American Psychological Association.
    Allison Broennimann, PhD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Many times, people say things that come from their own anxieties, insecurities, or frustrations at a given time.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 2 Helpful 15
  • Question
    How do you deal with insults?
    Allison Broennimann, PhD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Allison Broennimann is a licensed Clinical Psychologist with a private practice based in the San Francisco Bay Area providing psychotherapy and neuropsychology services. With over a decade of experience, Dr. Broennimann specializes in in-depth psychotherapy to provide solution-focused treatments for anxiety, depression, relationship problems, grief, adjustment problems, traumatic stress, and phase-of-life transitions. And as part of her neuropsychology practice, she integrates depth psychotherapy and cognitive rehabilitation for those recovering after traumatic brain injury. Dr. Broennimann holds a BA in Psychology from the University of California, Santa Cruz, and an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Palo Alto University. She is licensed by the California Board of Psychology and is a member of the American Psychological Association.
    Allison Broennimann, PhD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Remind yourself that you don't need to take in someone else's words as your own truth. If you do feel that there is some truth, then decide to take the information that is helpful for your growth—but leave the rest.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 0 Helpful 11
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Video

      Tips

      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Stay calm on the outside when insulted, even if you're upset inside. Take a few deep breaths to maintain composure. Visible anger fuels more insults.
      • Keep a list on your phone of compliments and positive traits. Read it when you need a boost after an insult. Remember the truth about yourself.
      • If the insults really bother you, talk to a school counselor or therapist. They can help give perspective and teach healthy ways to cope.
      • Avoid the insulter when possible. Take another route in the hallway or sit somewhere else at lunch. You don't have to be around cruelty.
      • Don't respond to online insults. Just delete the rude comments and block that person. Arguing will only make you feel worse.
      • Respond with unexpected kindness, like complimenting their appearance. Kill them with kindness and leave them confused.
      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      React when Insulted or Teased
      How to
      Deal With Bullies
      How to
      Cope With Hurtful Insults
      How to
      Ignore People You Don't Like
      How to
      Stop Bullying
      How to
      Deal With Being Called Ugly
      How to
      Be Confident when Someone Insults You
      How to
      Handle Being Laughed at Behind Your Back
      How to
      Stop People from Mocking
      How to
      React when Someone Teases You
      An Expert-Approved Guide to Dealing With Bullying
      How to
      Stop a Mean Girl Bully
      How to
      Get Someone to Leave You Alone
      How to
      Deal with Mean People
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-negative-people-or-difficult-people/
      2. ↑ http://ideas.time.com/2013/03/08/why-insults-hurt-and-why-they-shouldnt/
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201302/how-deal-insults-and-put-downs
      4. ↑ https://www.ditchthelabel.org/cyber-bullying-top-9-tips-on-overcoming-it/
      5. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-negative-people-or-difficult-people/
      6. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/45-simple-self-care-practices-for-a-healthy-mind-body-and-soul/
      7. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/45-simple-self-care-practices-for-a-healthy-mind-body-and-soul/
      8. ↑ Donna Novak, Psy.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 9 December 2020.
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201302/how-deal-insults-and-put-downs
      1. ↑ https://www.ditchthelabel.org/cyber-bullying-top-9-tips-on-overcoming-it/
      2. ↑ http://ideas.time.com/2013/03/08/why-insults-hurt-and-why-they-shouldnt/
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201302/how-deal-insults-and-put-downs
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201302/how-deal-insults-and-put-downs
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201302/how-deal-insults-and-put-downs
      6. ↑ Donna Novak, Psy.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 9 December 2020.
      7. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-negative-people-or-difficult-people/

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      Although it’s difficult to ignore an insult, it’s best to remain calm and avoid showing any emotion, since doing so can make the insults get worse. Instead, try walking away from the person and taking a few deep breaths until you feel more settled. Alternatively, engage in another activity, like reading a book, when someone is being rude to you. If their insult continues to bother you after the incident, counter their negativity by making a list of your positive traits, like how you’re good at math or have a nice smile. To learn more, like how to respond to insults in clever ways, read on!

      Did this summary help you?
      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 594,858 times.

      Reader Success Stories

      • Anonymous

        Aug 20, 2017

        "It's good to know that many people try to avoid and find ways to lessen attacks and attitudes by others that ..." more
      More reader stories Hide reader stories
      Share your story

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement