How to Keep Your Mind Off of Something or Someone

Learn effective strategies for distracting your brain

Whether you can’t help but dwell on an embarrassing moment, your brain keeps getting distracted by that cute barista, or you’ve made yourself sick with worry about the future, you’re not alone. Our minds are mysterious things that rarely do as we say, but that doesn’t mean we can't cooperate with them to form healthier patterns of thinking! That’s why we chatted with mental health professionals to bring you a list of expert and research-backed ways of getting your mind off something, so you can move on and find some peace.

Quick Ways to Manage Your Thoughts

  • Hang out with a friend or family member, and talk to them about how you're feeling to get an outside perspective.
  • Write down your negative thoughts in a journal, and only let yourself think them for 15 minutes a day before moving on.
  • Distract yourself with a mentally-stimulating activity, like reading a book, watching a movie, or getting a little exercise.
1

Talk or write about it to get it out of your head.

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  1. Sometimes ignoring those thoughts altogether only makes them worse, like shaking a can of soda before opening it. Allow yourself to worry, if only for a little while. Do this by writing about your thoughts in a journal, or expressing them to a trusted family member or friend, or even just say them aloud while you’re alone. [1]
    • You may find that getting your thoughts out of your head and into the “real world” lends you some much-needed perspective.
    • Also, studies show that when people wrote down their thoughts on a piece of paper and then threw the paper away, they mentally discarded the thoughts as well. [2]
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2

Let yourself worry for a short amount of time.

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  1. This is the only time each day when you’re allowed to focus on your unwanted thoughts. [3] When the timer or alarm goes off, shout "Stop!" That's your cue to empty your mind of that thought. Think of one intentional thought (the beach, a peaceful forest, etc.) and keep your mind fixed on that image or thought for 30 seconds.
    • If the upsetting thought comes back during that time, shout "Stop!" again, or move on to another activity on this list to take your mind off it.
    • Stand up when you say "Stop," or snap your fingers or clap your hands. These actions reinforce the "Stop" command and further interrupt your thought.
    EXPERT TIP

    Chloe Carmichael, PhD

    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
    Chloe Carmichael, PhD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist

    Try coming up with a mental shortlist of 5 things you know your mental energy would be better spent on. Then, when you catch yourself thinking about the thing you don't want to think about, turn to something on your mental shortlist instead.

3

Distract yourself by spending time with friends.

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  1. Life coach Rahti Gorfien says that “one thing that can help is getting out of isolation” by connecting with other people. In fact, laughing with a friend has a positive effect on your brain itself, reducing stress-related neurochemicals and boosting positive chemicals like serotonin and dopamine. [4]
    • Ask your friend to talk about their own life or their own problems if you don’t want to talk about yours. Hearing their troubles may help you feel better about your own position.
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4

Exercise to focus your attention on your body.

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  1. Whenever you find yourself caught in negative thinking, stop and do 5-10 pushups, or do jumping jacks for 30 seconds, or something similar. These bursts of physical activity work to “reset” your brain and disrupt harmful patterns of thinking with positive endorphins, which in turn helps you move on with your day. [5]
    • Also, regular exercise for extended periods, like a daily 15-minute jog, helps to relieve chronic anxiety, stress, and even depression.
    • Remember to also drink plenty of water and eat 3 square meals a day! Keeping your body nourished also nourishes your mind.
5

Do a puzzle or play a game to distract your mind.

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  1. Read a book, watch a movie, or listen closely to an album you love. [6] Challenge yourself mentally by completing a Sudoku or crossword puzzle, solving complicated math problems, or following a complex set of instructions, like with a recipe. The mental focus it takes to do these kinds of activities leaves you with no time or mental energy to think your unwanted thoughts.
    • Or, give yourself a long-term goal , like finishing a long novel or completing a big craft project, to make sure you always have something to turn to.
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6

Practice relaxing self-care to calm your brain.

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  1. When you find yourself worrying, be mindful : take a few deep breaths—10 seconds in, then 10 seconds out. Identify each of your 5 senses: what do you hear, smell, touch, see, and taste right now? Then, roll and relax your shoulders. These relaxing practices help realign your body and bring you back to the present moment. [7]
    • Also, meditate for 10 minutes each day to train your mind. Sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and focus only on breathing.
    • You might also help yourself to a bubble bath, sauna, face mask, or another “treat” to remind yourself that you don’t have to wallow in negative thoughts.
7

Remind yourself that thoughts don’t define you.

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  1. Your thoughts don’t make you a bad person, and suppressing your thoughts can have a negative effect on your mental health. In fact, one study found that participants who practiced acceptance were less obsessive, had lower levels of depression and were less anxious than those who tried thought suppression. [8]
    • Certified therapist Samantha Fox says to validate your feelings, ask yourself if you can learn from them, then thank them for their message.
    • For example, you might think, “It’s normal to worry about my family’s safety, and I’m grateful for the reminder that I love and care for them. Now it’s time to think about other things.”
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8

Explore and question your negative thoughts.

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  1. When we’re worrying about something or someone, it’s often fear that troubles us. But most of the things we’re afraid of never actually happen, or aren't as bad as we think. Remind yourself of the reasons your fear is unlikely to happen, and think about what you’ll do in the slim chance that it does happen. [9]
    • For example, if you’re worried about a test, remind yourself, “I probably won’t fail because I’ve been studying hard, and I’m a smart and capable person.”
    • Also, think of it as a lesson, like, “If I do fail, it’s not the end of the world. I’ll talk to my teacher about how to improve, and study harder for the next test.”
9

Give your thoughts time to pass.

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  1. Time is the best medicine, take it from us. One day you’ll wake up, and these negative thoughts will just be a memory, and you’ll wonder why you worried so much. Until then, it may be best to let yourself feel your feelings until you’re naturally ready to let go of them. [10]
    • Ask yourself: Is this something I have any control over? If not, try to remember that what will be will be, and there’s little use in fussing over it.
    • If you do have some control, ask yourself what you can do right now to make things right, and get to work! Even small actions can help you feel less stressed and more empowered.
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10

See a professional to work through your feelings.

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  1. There’s no shame in recognizing that sometimes we need help understanding and navigating our own minds. If you feel hopeless or overwhelmed, consider talking to a therapist , who can offer expert insight and mental health strategies to help you manage your own internal life.

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I stop unwanted thoughts in my mind?
    Rahti Gorfien, PCC
    Life Coach
    Rahti Gorfien is a Life Coach and the Founder of Creative Calling Coaching, LLC. She specializes in working with artists, entrepreneurs, and college students in creative fields. Rahti is accredited as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) by the International Coach Federation, an ACCG Accredited ADHD Coach by the ADD Coach Academy, and a Career Specialty Services Provider (CSS). In addition, she has personal experience in the fields she coaches - she is an alumnus of the New York University Graduate Acting program and has been a working theater artist for over 30 years. She was voted one of the 15 Best Life Coaches in New York City by Expertise in 2018.
    Rahti Gorfien, PCC
    Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    Instead of spending all your time alone, ruminating on your obsession, connect with your friends and family. You should also try activities like going for a long walk. Do anything that can disrupt the pattern of thoughts in your head. If you're still having trouble, feel free to seek professional help.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • If obsessive thoughts are really interfering with your life, consider speaking to a professional counselor. They can help manage anxiety or OCD.
      • Surround yourself with positive people who build you up. Limit contact with those who treat you poorly or make you feel bad about yourself.
      • Focus on taking care of yourself after a breakup or betrayal. Do things that make you feel confident and happy. Don't dwell on the past.
      • Find activities that fully engage your mind and divert your attention, like puzzles, reading or learning new skills. Staying busy helps.
      • Journaling can help you process obsessive thoughts. Write it all down, then try closing the journal and moving on with your day.
      • Trying to forcibly stop thoughts often makes them stronger. Accept the thoughts, then refocus your mind on the present moment.
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      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about emotional health, check out our in-depth interview with Rahti Gorfien, PCC .

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying.htm
      2. ↑ http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/bothered-by-negative-unwanted-thoughts-just-throw-them-away.html
      3. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying.htm
      4. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27439375/
      5. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/slowing-down-racing-thoughts-202303132901
      6. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/slowing-down-racing-thoughts-202303132901
      7. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying.htm
      8. ↑ http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005796704000853
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201512/what-you-can-do-when-you-cant-stop-thinking-about-something
      1. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying.htm

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To stop thinking of something or someone, try distracting yourself with something mentally stimulating, like a crossword puzzle or a good book. Alternatively, you can try exercising or playing a sport, which will redirect your focus to your body and release endorphins that boost your mood. If you still can't shake your unwanted thoughts, consider writing them down in a journal or talking about them with a friend since expressing your thoughts can help get them out of your head. You can even try writing your thoughts on a piece of paper and then tossing it in the trash to signal to your brain that you're done thinking about them. For more advice from our Counselor co-author, like how to train yourself to let go of thoughts, read on!

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