Download Article
Download Article
Everyone feels sad sometimes. In many cases, sadness is a normal human reaction to different life changes and events. The good news is that everyone also has the capacity to feel happiness and that there are things you can do to unlock that capacity and feel better.
Steps
-
Write down your feelings. Consider buying a journal that you can designate just for writing down your thoughts and feelings. Often it is helpful to document your feelings of sadness in writing in order to better make sense of them. This will help you get "in tune" with yourself and achieve a deeper level of self-understanding.
- Journaling - even for 20 minutes a day - works to clarify and organize your thoughts about your sadness, which may help you to better pinpoint the reasons why you are feeling sad. It also helps you keep track of your behavioral and emotional patterns. Additionally, some research has found that journaling can even help your physical health and strengthen your immune system because it works to reduce stress.
- While writing, concentrate on what you are writing, not how you are writing it. In other words, don't focus on your grammar or spelling. An example of a journal entry may look something like this: " I have had a particularly rough day today - my sad thoughts about the divorce will not leave me alone. Sometimes I'm not sure if I should even still feel sad about it because even though it happened a year ago, the marriage had been dead for a long time. I know that. But I do worry that I'm stuck in the past and that my kids are suffering for it. I'm also angry at myself for not being able to let myself let the sadness past go. People get divorced all the time, so why am I having such a hard time? Talking with my sister helped the last time I had a rough day; I think I'll call her. I know tomorrow is another day .”
-
Laugh and smile. Studies have shown that the very act of smiling can improve your mood and make you feel happier [1] X Research source In addition, laughing releases endorphins, those brain chemicals that enhance your mood. [2] X Research source
- Even though you may not feel like it, even using those small muscles that facilitate laughing and smiling can make you happier. So, try faking it. It may be forced at first, but laughing or smiling could trigger a funny or happy memory and cause a real laugh or smile to occur. [3] X Trustworthy Source Association for Psychological Science Nonprofit organization devoted promoting trustworthy research and education in the psychological sciences Go to source
- If you want to try smiling or laughing without the effort, try watching a funny movie, reading a humorous book, or spending time with a friend who you know is likely to make you smile.
Advertisement -
Have a good cry. Even though you may not want to cry because you are trying to feel better and want to feel happy again, sometimes crying can improve your mood. If you feel the urge to cry, then don't hold back and instead let the tears out when you feel like it. The act of crying might make you feel better and more relieved, as the act of purging the tears can create the sense that you got the sadness "off your chest". [4] X Expert Source Leah Morris
Life Coach Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.- Studies suggest that a majority of people who cry feel better than they did before they cried. In part this is because crying is one of the body's natural ways of ridding itself of stress hormones. [5] X Research source [6] X Research source
- However, although it can be helpful to cry to reduce stress and improve your mood, it is important to know that not being able to control your tears may be a sign of a more serious emotional or hormonal issue. If you find that you cannot stop crying, you should seek professional help from a physician or therapist.
-
Try to look at the bigger picture. What else is in your life that makes it worth living? Try to think about all of the other things that you value in life, such as your friends, family, and health, and you'll see that you probably have much to be happy about and thankful for, even if you don't feel very happy or thankful in the moment. Numerous studies have shown that gratitude is deeply connected with happiness. [7] X Research source
- Think about good memories. If you've lived through them once, you can have them again. That's the beautiful thing about memories; just because things may seem bad right now doesn't mean that they'll be that way tomorrow.
- In the case of sadness based on a minor life event, such as getting a bad mark on an assignment, put the event into perspective and consider whether you'll feel sad in 10 years and whether the event will even matter then. Consider using that old phrase, "don't sweat the small stuff." [8] X Research source
- Make an effort to find one thing to be happy about each day. There are lots of challenges on social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram that use hashtags such as "100happydays" or "findthelight" to encourage people to find little moments of happiness and gratitude in their everyday lives. [9] X Research source
- Even if your sadness is based on a traumatic life event, such as the loss of your spouse, reflecting more broadly on your life may be useful. For example, you may find comfort in remembering the good memories with your now-deceased partner as well as a sense of happiness and gratitude that you had him in your life, even as you grieve the loss that was too soon.
-
Distract your mind. Sometimes when we are sad, it's hard to think of anything else. However, dwelling on your sadness can actually do more harm than good and can increase feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. [10] X Research source Pleasant distraction can help you focus on something other than your sadness and also reduce your stress - scientists call this "flow". You're not avoiding your problems, but instead engaging in an activity where you forget time and place. [11] X Research source Here are some examples of ways in which you can distract your mind:
- Listen to music. Resist the temptation to go for the sad music. Try listening to energetic, jumpy, soulful, or happy tunes, along with songs that inspire you or remind you of good times. Music can be and is used as a very effective therapeutic tool.
- Look at some of your childhood pictures or photos from trips, graduations, and major life events. If a funny one pops up, don't push it away. Savor it. It'll help remind you that life passes by quickly and that there have been a lot of happy (and funny!) moments in your life along with the sad ones.
-
Read. Lose yourself in another world or in the past. Books transport us to places we've never been often, those places are more adventurous and romantic than the places we're currently in. Whether you're reading historical fiction or a steamy romance, being absorbed in another world will help you relax your mind and place our focus elsewhere. Just six minutes of reading can help reduce your stress level by two-thirds. [12] X Research source
Advertisement
-
Understand sadness. Sadness is part of a larger experience of grief. It is a painful emotion that is usually temporary and generally stems from external factors, such as a breakup, fight or disagreement with a close friend, moving away from family, or loss of a loved one. Sadness is a normal emotion that most people feel at various points in their lives.
- The sadness stemming from a grief reaction can affect your concentration, appetite, and sleep.
-
Know the difference between sadness and depression. It is important to know how sadness differs from depression because the treatments for each are themselves different. Unlike sadness, depression does not usually have an identifiable external cause; it is just something people feel. In comparison to sadness, depression is a more serious problem that causes low mood, too little or too much sleep, weight loss or gain, increased or decreased appetite, low energy, disinterest in the world around you, avoidance of social situations, poor concentration, and feelings of worthlessness.
- One of the key differences between depression and sadness is the ability to experience pleasure, love, and hope. When people are sad, they can usually still experience moments of happiness or pleasure. However, in cases of depression, many sufferers feel themselves unable to experience pleasure, hope or anything at all and become emotionally flat. Moreover, for depressed people, their sadness is like a cloud hanging over them from which there is no escape; they have a tendency to ruminate and dwell and feel unable to simply "get happy."
- Depression is also long-lasting and can be something that an individual struggles with for months, years or their entire life, whereas sadness is usually transient and temporary. If you find yourself unable to cope effectively with your sadness such that your daily functioning is negatively impacted and suspect that you may in fact be suffering from depression, you should consult a mental health professional. Treatment for depression can involve psychotherapy and medication, so it's important that you assess whether what you are feeling is more chronic than occasional sadness in order to receive the proper treatment.
EXPERT TIPLicensed PsychotherapistLauren Urban is a licensed psychotherapist in Brooklyn, New York, with over 13 years of therapy experience working with children, families, couples, and individuals. She received her Masters in Social Work from Hunter College in 2006, and specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community and with clients in recovery or considering recovery for drug and alcohol use.Don't be afraid to ask for help if you're feeling overwhelmed. Tough times, whether due to stress, anxiety, depression, or other challenges, can affect daily life. Difficult emotions are a normal part of life, and reaching out for help shows courage and self-awareness.
-
Reflect on your emotions. Has something happened recently in your life that helps explain what you've been feeling? For example, did you just experience a breakup or a loss in your family? Identifying the cause of your sadness will better help you understand and move past it. Reflecting on the external factors will also confirm that you are experiencing a normal reaction of sadness to something that happened, and not chronic depression.
- In addition, knowing what is making you sad will also help you determine the appropriate methods to alleviate your sadness. The sadness you feel after you've broken up with your boyfriend of 3 months, for instance, will be quite different than the sadness you feel if your husband of 10 years has recently passed away.
- If you have a suffered a major loss or trauma, it may be useful to consult a mental health professional who can work with you to develop coping strategies for your sadness and grief. According to the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress inventory , the most stressful events that affect individuals' mental and physical well-being include the death of a spouse, divorce, marital separation, and the death of a close family member. In such cases where sadness is likely to be more extreme, the techniques described below may be useful in conjunction with therapy.
Advertisement
-
Exercise . Go for a walk, a jog, or a bike ride . Play a team sport. Do anything that gets you up and moving. Exercising will make your body release endorphins, those "feel-good" chemicals that enhance your mood and inhibit the body's stress response. [13] X Research source [14] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- Any type of exercise or physical activity which requires you to expend energy and contract your muscles will trigger your body to release these helpful endorphins. So even if you don't feel up to a spin class or 5k run, just cleaning the house or going for a 15-20 minute walk can help your body start releasing the endorphins you need to feel happier. [15] X Research source
-
Eat a healthy snack. Scientists have confirmed that what and when you eat can affect how you feel and your moods. If you're feeling sad, try eating a low-fat, low-protein, but high-carbohydrate snack, such as a toasted English muffin with jam. When high-carbohydrate foods aren't overtaken by the presence of protein or fat, they allow for a release of the amino acid tryptophan into your brain. Tryptophan then turns into serotonin, a neurotransmitter than improves your mood, and all within 30 minutes. [16] X Expert Source Leah Morris
Life Coach Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.- You could also have carbs such as air-popped popcorn or a slice of whole wheat bread. But be sure to skip foods high in protein, like cheese and poultry. These foods suppress serotonin because all of the amino acids in them compete with and ultimately block tryptophan from releasing into your brain. [17] X Research source
-
Do something spontaneous. Sometimes a consistent and boring routine can make you feel bad. Do something out of the blue (but without making any rash decisions!). Go visit a friend or a museum, surprise your Mom with lunch, or take a weekend trip outside your city or town. By mixing things up a bit, you may rediscover your passion for life.
- You could even shake things up by creating small "disturbances" in your everyday schedule. For example, do things in a different order in the morning. Make coffee after your shower, for example. Leave earlier for work. Just break out of that daily routine for a bit and see how you feel. Sometimes the routines that we become accustom to, while initially comforting, can become a trap.
-
Participate in a hobby. Channel your negative or overwhelming emotions into some other activity. Do something you enjoy and that relaxes you, such as painting, photography, poetry, or ceramics. Find whatever makes you feel at peace and helps transport you "away" from your daily struggles. This doesn't mean that you can "escape" your sadness, but it does mean that you are better able to cope with it by making time for yourself to do something that you enjoy. [18] X Expert Source Leah Morris
Life Coach Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.- You could also take up a new activity. Maybe you've always wanted to try yoga but never got the chance. Throw yourself into something new to reinvigorate your life; trying out a new activity or hobby can also be a great way to meet other like-minded people.
-
Take a shower or a bath. You'll be amazed at how much of a lift taking a shower can give you. Consider making your shower colder than you would normally. Cold showers can be very beneficial and healing; research has suggested that they can improve circulation and blood flow, reduce stress and tension, and boost your mood. The cold releases endorphins into your blood stream and brain and gives you a feeling of rejuvenation and positivity.
- If you're more inclined to baths, try putting some Epsom salts (about 1-2 cups) in the bath. In addition to helping detoxify the body and reduce tension, Epsom salts are reported to trigger the release of endorphins, and thereby reduce stress and improve mood.
Advertisement
-
Talk to a friend. A major factor in happiness is social contact and support. [19] X Research source Talking to a friend about your sadness or the situation that has caused your sadness can help lessen the pain because you will know that someone cares about you and your feelings. Talking out loud can also help you "air out" your emotions and clarify exactly what you are feeling because it requires you put those feelings into words. Your sadness is no longer abstract, but becomes real, something that can be named and discussed, through its articulation in words. [20] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
- Research has shown that people who experience major life stresses, such as the loss of a partner or job, come out the other side of the ordeal more easily if they have a network of friends and family on whom they can draw and rely. [21] X Research source Billings, A. G., & Moos, R. H. (1985) “Life stressors and social resources affect posttreatment outcomes among depressed patients.”Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 94, 140-153.
- You may also learn something from talking to a friend. For example, maybe your friend has experienced similar feelings or a similar situation and can offer you support and advice. Alternatively, your friend may be able to help you look at your situation from a different angle and may be able to suggest methods of coping that you had not yet thought of. If you're going through a break up, for example, maybe your friend reminds you of all of the times you called her complaining about how your boyfriend was inattentive and selfish. In this sense, your friend can help remind you of the reasons why you broke up with your boyfriend when you're stuck being sad about the breakup itself.
- Friends can also help you feel supported and alleviate the feeling that you are alone. They offer you a place to be heard and understood. In addition, simply talking with a friend may improve your mood since you will likely end up smiling and laughing at some point!
-
Go out and socialize. See a movie, go for dinner, or head out for a bike ride with friends or family. Along with distracting yourself, social interaction outside will help you get out of your own head for a few hours. Just talking with others - even exchanging menial pleasantries - and a change of scenery can improve your mood. [22] X Research source
- If you're a loner by nature, don't overdo it with the socializing as this might make you more stressed and anxious. Aim for limited, low-key social interaction, like running an errand, grabbing groceries, or getting a pedicure with a friend, rather than a long night of bar-hopping with friends. [23] X Research source
-
Spend time with a pet. If you don't feel like being social with other human beings, consider spending time your cuddly pet! Cuddling or petting a favorite animal can help improve your sad mood by meeting the basic human need of connection and closeness. [24] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Research has shown that spending time with dogs increases the concentration of endorphins, chemicals that interact with the receptors in your brain to trigger positive feelings and improve your mood. [25] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- Additionally, animals are particularly adept at sensing our moods through our body movements and tone of voice, so they are often “in-tune” with how we are feeling.
-
Focus on others. Giving your time and energy to help others will not only help you stay busy, but will also give you a sense of reward and purpose, making you feel better about yourself and your situation. [26] X Research source
- Find a volunteer activity that you're passionate about such as helping out at a homeless shelter or food kitchen, caring for or walking stray dogs, or volunteering at a senior's home. [27] X Research source
- Even doing something small for someone else, like letting someone go ahead of you in the line at the grocery store, can make you feel better. Acts of kindness increase your sense of well-being because they are concrete things that you can do, and not just think. [28] X Research source
Advertisement
Find Happiness with this Expert Series
Are you struggling to find happiness? We’ve put together this series of expert articles to help you cultivate a happy and fulfilling life.
Expert Q&A
Search
-
QuestionHow can you make a sad person happy?Leah Morris is a Life and Relationship Transition coach and the owner of Life Remade, a holistic personal coaching service. With over three years as a professional coach, she specializes in guiding people as they move through both short-term and long-term life transitions. Leah holds a BA in Organizational Communication from California State University, Chico and is a certified Transformational Life Coach through the Southwest Institute for Healing Arts.You can't control the way other people feel, but you can certainly try to cheer someone up! Just try to be compassionate and ask them what they need. Different things are going to cheer different people up, so it's not like there's any single answer here.
-
QuestionIs it really a good idea to cry it out if you're sad?Leah Morris is a Life and Relationship Transition coach and the owner of Life Remade, a holistic personal coaching service. With over three years as a professional coach, she specializes in guiding people as they move through both short-term and long-term life transitions. Leah holds a BA in Organizational Communication from California State University, Chico and is a certified Transformational Life Coach through the Southwest Institute for Healing Arts.Yes. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to go have a fun adventure, go have it. If you need to buckle down and focus on our life purpose and career, do that. Just make sure that you're being present to your needs and then fulfilling those needs for yourself.
-
QuestionHow can I take care of myself?Leah Morris is a Life and Relationship Transition coach and the owner of Life Remade, a holistic personal coaching service. With over three years as a professional coach, she specializes in guiding people as they move through both short-term and long-term life transitions. Leah holds a BA in Organizational Communication from California State University, Chico and is a certified Transformational Life Coach through the Southwest Institute for Healing Arts.It's important that you're taking care of not only your mind, but also your body, your heart, and your soul. Eat nourishing foods, don't binge drink, exercise, and pursue things you care about. This is what self-care is!
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
Advertisement
Reader Videos
Submit a Video Tip!
Share a quick video tip and help bring articles to life with your friendly advice. Your insights could make a real difference and help millions of people!
Submit a Video
Coming Soon!
Tips
- Do not try to hide your feelings from everyone; it will not make you or the situation better. Tell a trusted friend or family member how you feel, and they may be able to offer your social support. If you need more support, however, do consider consulting a counselor or other mental health professional. At the very least, they can work with you to develop strategies on how to cope effectively with sadness.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- If you are really upset then write the bad things on a piece of paper, scrunch it into a ball, then rip it up. Throw the scraps away or (safely) burn them and visualize yourself "letting go" of these negative things.
- Whenever you're feeling incredibly sad, think of all the good things in your life and all the people you love. Even if it's hard, remember that you're an important and special person just like everyone else.
- Rinse your face with cold water or take a nice lavender-scented bubble bath. I've tried both of these and they work so well!
Submit a Tip
All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
Name
Please provide your name and last initial
Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
Advertisement
References
- ↑ http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=smile-it-could-make-you-happier
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/blissing-out-10-relaxation-techniques-reduce-stress-spot?page=2
- ↑ http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/smiling-facilitates-stress-recovery.html
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
- ↑ http://dujs.dartmouth.edu/news/why-do-we-cry#.VVqf_mTBzGc
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/why-we-cry-the-truth-about-tearing-up?page=2
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/03/feel-happier-today_n_5022621.html
- ↑ http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/13/living/sweat-small-stuff-real-simple/
- ↑ http://100happydays.com/
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2167702614530114
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/03/feel-happier-today_n_5022621.html
- ↑ http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/5070874/Reading-can-help-reduce-stress.html
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/exercise-depression
- ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6091217
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/03/feel-happier-today_n_5022621.html
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
- ↑ http://www.prevention.com/food/healthy-eating-tips/food-and-mood-best-foods-make-you-feel-better
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/03/feel-happier-today_n_5022621.html
- ↑ http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/manage-stress.aspx
- ↑ Billings, A. G., & Moos, R. H. (1985) “Life stressors and social resources affect posttreatment outcomes among depressed patients.”Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 94, 140-153.
- ↑ http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/how-do-you-cope-sadness
- ↑ http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/how-do-you-cope-sadness
- ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12672376
- ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12672376
- ↑ http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/how-do-you-cope-sadness
- ↑ http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/how-do-you-cope-sadness
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/03/feel-happier-today_n_5022621.html
About This Article
Article Summary
X
While getting happy when you're feeling sad might feel impossible, there are a lot of simple things you can do to brighten your mood. Try to go out for a walk, jog, or bike ride to help your body release endorphins, which will help boost your mood. In addition to exercise, try eating a low-fat, low-protein, high-carbohydrate snack, like a toasted English muffin with jam. This will trigger the release of tryptophan, a mood enhancer, in your brain. Another way to get happy is to socialize, so go out to a movie or dinner with your family or friends. If you prefer being alone, then spend some quality time enjoying your favorite hobby or getting lost in a wonderful book. To learn how to get happy by changing your routine, keep reading!
Did this summary help you?
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 2,402,798 times.
Reader Success Stories
- "I feel like the people/person who wrote this article and helped with it are real people who actually know what I'm going through. I feel like even with such broad ideas and suggestions to brighten my mood, I know them on a personal level not knowing them." ..." more
Advertisement
"I feel like the people/person who wrote this article and helped with it are real people who actually know what I'm going through. I feel like even with such broad ideas and suggestions to brighten my mood, I know them on a personal level not knowing them."
..."
more
"I had the most horrible dream about my future, and I started to cry. I looked up on the computer ways to feel happier when you are sad. I found your website and I started to read. (FYI: This just happened like 2 minutes ago.) I feel better already!"
..."
more
"I have found out that my mom is joining the military, and I don't want to lose her, so I looked at the bigger picture (like the article said) and I talked to my mom. I feel less sad now than before, and that shower I took afterwards was great."
..."
more
"This article helped me calm down when I was feeling very upset and distressed. It helped me understand that those feelings are part of life, and others also experience them. I also learned about many ways to cope. Thank you for your work."
..."
more
"The article said that in case of a minor life event, just think if it will matter in 10 years time. This point struck me and made me think it out. I felt I had more opportunities coming in life, and that life doesn't end here."
..."
more
