How to Tell a Girl You Love Her (Teenagers)

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If you have someone special in your life and you’re ready to express your feelings for her, congratulations! Though it’s a nerve-wracking phrase to say, those three little words are a great way to express the depth of your emotions and build an even stronger relationship!

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Preparing to Say “I Love You”

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    Telling someone you love them is a personal, special affair. You want the moment to be perfect. Pick a location that is private, perhaps even meaningful to your relationship, and a time that is appropriate.
    • Don't express your love for her in the middle of class.
    • If you are with a group of people, pull her aside.
    • You can plan a special date for the occasion. Take her on a walk or a picnic. Tell her during a dinner you prepared for her. [1]
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    Saying “I love you” for the first time is really scary. If you’re nervous, planning what you are going to say can boost your confidence. Think about what you want her to know, then rehearse your declaration of love. Instead of just saying "I love you," consider going deeper. For example: [2]
    • Give her reasons why you love her.
    • Tell her when you fell in love with her.
    • Let her know how special she is to you.
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    In addition to preparing what you will say, you should also prepare for her response to those three little words. Ideally, she will say, “I love you too!” However, she may not feel the same way about you.
    • She might ignore your comment or divert the conversation to a new topic. If this happens, do not ask her, “well, do you love me too?”
    • Be prepared to give her some time and space to digest what you said. [3] Try to go on with the date as normal.
    • Remain calm and mature if she rejects you. Have a positive, kind response prepared—your maturity just might impress her. [4]
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Saying the Words

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    When the two of you are alone and the moment feels right, muster up the confidence to tell her, “I love you.” Look her in the eye, smile, and tell her, “I love you.” The timing doesn’t need to be perfect and the moment doesn’t have to be accompanied by a grand gesture, it just needs to be genuine.
    • Tell her when you fell in love with her and or why you love her. [5]
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    In addition to telling her “I love you,” you can also show her how much you care. After all, actions speak louder than words! Support her by attending all of her sporting events, writing her notes of encouragement, and helping her meet her goals. Here are some other ways that you can show her your love:
    • Always treat her with respect and kindness. Don’t mistreat her or abuse her trust.
    • If she tells you that she needs you for something, do everything you can to show up for her. [6]
    • You should also make time for her, and—eventually—be willing to talk about future plans with her. [7]
    • Go out of your way to make her happy. If she’s having a rough day, bring her flowers to cheer her up.
    • Stand up for her. When someone bullies or insults her, shut down their negative behavior.
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    While some people prefer to say, “I love you,” others have an easier time expressing themselves through writing—everyone loves a good love note! When the moment feels right, hand her the note in passing, give it to her with a small gift, or slip it in her hand at the end of the date.
    • You can write a short, simple note, a heart-felt love letter, or even a sincere poem.
    • Don't text or private message her, "I love you” or "I <3 U."
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    After she has heard or read those three little words, give her a moment to process and react. When she is ready to respond, give her your complete attention. Listen to what she has to say and react accordingly. Hopefully she will return the sentiment and say, “I love you too!” [8]
    • Don’t press her for an immediate response.
    • Don’t tell her how you thought she would feel or react.
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Determining if Your Feelings are Love

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    When you are in love with a girl, you are willing to do anything that makes her like you and notice you. You may try to impress her by taking risks or going above and beyond to help others. You may also try to impress her with your ability to play an instrument, play a sport, or show off another talent. [9]
    • If your actions are now driven by the ulterior motive of catching her attention, you may truly love her.
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    When you love a girl, it is very common to think about her constantly. Do you find that your mind unexpectedly wanders to thoughts of her throughout the day? Have you stopped to wonder if she is thinking about you too? [10]
    • If she is constantly on your mind, you may love her.
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    When you fall in love with a girl, you may have a strong desire to become the man you feel she deserves. You may feel the need to improve your grades or behavior at school. You may start working out or attending a religious service. [11]
    • If you are willing to make an effort to improve yourself on her behalf, you may be in love with an incredible girl.
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    As you fall in love with a girl, you may make it your priority to make her happy. In order to ease her stress during exam week, you may volunteer to help her study, revise her paper, or complete her chores. When she becomes sick, you may insist on taking care of her and getting whatever she needs. When she is having a rough day, you may go out of your way to make her laugh and smile so she forgets about her troubles. [12]
    • If you are devoting time and energy to making her happy, you may love her.
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    The three little words, “I love you,” pack a huge meaning. Once you express your love, the nature of your relationship with this girl will change for better or for worse. Prior to making this declaration, ask yourself the following questions:
    • Are you truly in love with her?
    • Does she share your understanding of the word “love?”
    • Are you telling her “I love you” in the hopes that you will get something in return. [13]
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    Should I tell a girl I love her?
    Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
    Psychotherapist
    Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
    Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
    Psychotherapist
    Expert Answer
    If you're not sure if it's mutual, it's best to wait a while. Let her know that you really like her and want to get to know her better. Then, when you're more sure of your feelings you can let her know.
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  • Question
    How can I show her how I feel?
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    If she needs you for something reasonable, be sure to show up. Also, if she wants to set up a date with you, don't blow her off to spend time with your friends. Once you're in a committed relationship together, you should also be comfortable meeting her friends and family, and you should be willing to make plans for the future together.
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      • If you are already dating, try to hug and have little kiss, then have eye contact and read her eyes. If it feels like it's the right time, be confident and go for it! If you or her feels uneasy, it's OK to wait.
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      References

      1. ↑ http://www.mensxp.com/dating/flirting-a-attraction/2851-how-to-tell-a-girl-you-love-her.html , http://www.getfrank.co.nz/dating-romance-relationships/dating-2/how-to-tell-a-girl-you-like-her
      2. ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.
      3. ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.
      4. ↑ http://www.getfrank.co.nz/dating-romance-relationships/dating-2/how-to-tell-a-girl-you-like-her , http://www.mensxp.com/dating/flirting-a-attraction/2851-how-to-tell-a-girl-you-love-her.html , http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2701568/When-right-time-say-I-love-Too-early-look-desperate-late-miss-magic-maybe-Cheryl-held-off.html
      5. ↑ http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/30b_dating_advice.html , http://www.getfrank.co.nz/dating-romance-relationships/dating-2/how-to-tell-a-girl-you-like-her
      6. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 11 November 2019.
      7. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 11 November 2019.
      8. ↑ http://www.getfrank.co.nz/dating-romance-relationships/dating-2/how-to-tell-a-girl-you-like-her , http://www.mensxp.com/dating/flirting-a-attraction/2851-how-to-tell-a-girl-you-love-her.html
      9. ↑ http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/yes-buddy-youre-in-love-8-ways-to-tell/#.VqkAlhgrK2x
      1. ↑ http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/yes-buddy-youre-in-love-8-ways-to-tell/#.VqkAlhgrK2x
      2. ↑ http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/yes-buddy-youre-in-love-8-ways-to-tell/#.VqkAlhgrK2x
      3. ↑ http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/yes-buddy-youre-in-love-8-ways-to-tell/#.VqkAlhgrK2x
      4. ↑ http://www.mensxp.com/dating/flirting-a-attraction/2851-how-to-tell-a-girl-you-love-her.html

      About This Article

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      The best way to tell a girl you love her is to find a time where the two of you are alone and relaxed. When you’re ready, look her in the eye, smile, and say “I love you.” You can also try telling her why you love her, or the moment you knew it was love. Give her time and space to digest your words if she needs it, and don’t pressure her to say it back. If telling her in person is too scary, try writing her a note or sending her a letter instead! For help being certain about your feelings for her before you say those three words, read on!

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