How to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Happy, Loved, & Appreciated

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Keep your girlfriend smiling with our helpful relationship tips
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Relationships can be a lot of work, but they can also be incredibly fun and rewarding. While you can’t actually make another person happy, with a little effort and basic kindness you can help give your girlfriend what she needs to find joy in your relationship. Above all, it’s important to be supportive and treat her respectfully, and to look for ways to keep the relationship exciting and fun. We consulted with dating coaches to find the best way to make (and keep) your girlfriend happy—keep reading for more!

Best Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Happy

  • Give her small gifts to brighten her day. You might print and frame a nice picture of the two of you, or get her a mug with her favorite quote on it.
  • Say kind and supportive things like “I’m so happy that we’re together,” or give her compliments, like “Your eyes are so pretty.”
  • Be her cheerleader when she’s going through a difficult time. When she accomplishes her goals, congratulate her and tell her how proud of her you are.
Section 1 of 4:

Making Her Feel Good

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  1. Lending a helping hand is a great way to show your girlfriend how much you care about her and help her feel special. Offer to help cook, clean, or take care of something on her to-do list without waiting for her to ask. [1]
    • For example, you might say, “Hey, you’ve been working hard all day. Why don’t you let me cook dinner tonight?”
    • When you help out with things, try not to act like you expect something in return or complain about the work. That can annoy your girlfriend or make the gesture seem less special.
    • Dating coach Connell Barrett recommends asking yourself, “How can I make my partner feel significant, appreciated, and loved today?” He says that if “You do that every day, you're going to have a great chance for a long lasting, mutually connected, passionate relationship.”
  2. Brighten your girlfriend’s day and show her you’re thinking of her by giving her a gift now and then. It can be for a special occasion, when she’s feeling down, or “just because.” Try not to worry about blowing money on anything fancy—she may appreciate the thought you put into it or the time you spent making it. [2]
    • The gifts you get will feel more meaningful if they connect to who she is as a person or what makes your relationship special.
    • For example, you might print out and frame a nice picture of the two of you or buy her a mug with her favorite quote on it.
    • Dating coach John Keegan says you can also “show up with small things they like” such as “small little chocolates, if they love chocolate.”
    • When you give her the gift, say something like, “I saw this and thought of you!”
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  3. Spending one-on-one time with your girlfriend is one of the best ways to deepen your bond with her and help her feel loved. Try to schedule a date night or a time where you give her your undivided attention at least once a week. [3]
    • For example, you might have dinner and a movie, go for a walk together, or just hang out at home together and play video games.
    • Take turns choosing what you do during your time together. Letting her call the shots sometimes can show that you value her wants and needs.
    • When spending time with your partner, Keegan says to try to “not be distracted by your phone or extraneous things going on, and really be focused on them.”
  4. Physical touch is an important part of a romantic relationship for most people. Show affection for your girlfriend by holding hands, hugging, kissing, or giving her a backrub. [4] Just make sure you ask her what she’s comfortable with and respect her wishes if she doesn’t want to be touched!
    • Sex can be an important part of a healthy relationship for many couples, but try to incorporate physical touch that isn’t sexual. Your girlfriend may feel more comfortable—and enjoy your intimate moments more—if your kisses and hugs don’t feel like they come with strings attached. [5]
    • If you do venture into more physically intimate acts, make sure to ask your girlfriend about her needs and desires during sex. That way, she doesn’t feel any need to fake her pleasure to protect your feelings.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 1249 wikiHow readers and 49% of them believe that the main reason women fake orgasms is to make their partner feel good about their performance . [Take Poll]
    Esther Perel, Psychotherapist

    Invest in your physical relationship. "Eroticism in the home requires active engagement and willful intent. It is an ongoing resistance to the message that marriage or partnership is serious, more work than play; and that passion is for teenagers and the immature."

  5. Everyone likes to hear kind and supportive words from their partner. Saying positive things to your girlfriend will help her feel loved and appreciated, which can improve your relationship overall. [6] So, if you’re thinking something nice about her, don’t keep it to yourself—say it out loud!
    • Try a classic “I love you,” or say other things to let her know how you feel about her like, “You brighten my whole day,” or “I’m so happy when we’re together.”
    • You can also try giving her compliments like, “You were awesome in class today!” or “Your eyes are just so gorgeous.”
    • Use words to express gratitude or appreciation, too. You might say things like, “Thanks so much for coming to my recital. You’re the best!”
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Section 2 of 4:

Being a Loving and Supportive Partner

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  1. The healthiest relationships are built on honesty and trust. [7] Show your girlfriend she can count on you by being truthful— try not to lie to her or hide things from her. Additionally, show her she can trust you by keeping your promises to her.
    • One study shows that it’s best to set up some ground rules about what you can and can’t lie about. [8]
    • For example, you both might decide white lies that save your feelings may be okay, but lies about something that affects both of you (like quitting your job or getting flirty texts from someone else) is not. [9]
    • If she asks you to keep something in confidence, try not to tell anyone else without her permission!
    • Being honest doesn’t mean being rude or unkind. Try not to say things that are unnecessarily harsh or mean and try to write it off as “brutal honesty” or “tough love.” [10]
  2. This may seem like basic common sense, but your girlfriend will be happiest if you treat her with compassion and respect. This means not only being there for her and doing nice things for her, but also respecting her boundaries, listening to what she has to say, and apologizing when you mess up. You can also be respectful by: [11]
    • Not yelling at your girlfriend, calling her names, or talking down to her.
    • Treating her as an equal.
    • Respecting her wishes if she asks you to stop doing something.
    • Standing up for her if you see other people being disrespectful.
    • Giving her space and allowing her to have time to be by herself or hang out with her friends.
  3. To make your relationship with your girlfriend fulfilling and happy, do your best to be supportive in both happy and difficult times. That means not only being there to comfort her when she’s down, but also celebrating with her when things are going well. [12]
    • Be her cheerleader when she’s going through challenges. Congratulate her and tell her how proud you are when she accomplishes her goals.
    • When she’s having a tough time, be there to support her with both words and actions. Ask her if there’s anything you can do to help.
  4. Fostering good communication will make your relationship run more smoothly and help both of you stay happy. [13] If your girlfriend has something to say to you, give her your full attention and listen without interrupting. Let her know that what she has to say is important to you and that you really want to hear and understand her.
    • Put your phone away when she talks to you. Make eye contact , nod, and use verbal cues (like “Uh huh,” or “I see” ) to let her know you are listening. Ask questions or rephrase what she says to make sure you understand.
    • Resist the urge to offer advice unless she asks for it.
    • Likewise, don’t be afraid to open up to her and talk about your own feelings. She’ll understand where you’re coming from better if you’re willing to be vulnerable .
  5. Everyone messes up sometimes. If you make a mistake in your relationship, your girlfriend may be disappointed, sad, or angry with you. If this happens, try to resist the urge to point fingers or get defensive. Simply acknowledge that you messed up and offer a sincere apology . [14]
    • When you apologize, take full responsibility for your own feelings and actions. Don’t use language that puts the blame on your girlfriend.
    • For example, try not to say things like, “I’m sorry you’re so upset, but I wouldn’t have yelled if you weren’t always late.”
    • Instead, try something like, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I was frustrated, but that wasn’t a good way for me to react.”
    • If you do want to address your girlfriend’s behavior, use “I” language that focuses on how you feel instead of sounding accusatory. You might say, “When you’re late, I feel like my time isn’t that important to you.”
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Section 3 of 4:

Understanding What Makes Her Happy

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  1. Your girlfriend is an individual with her own hopes, fears, wants, and needs. The more you get to know who she is and what makes her special, the easier it can be for you to do things that bring her joy. Talk to your girlfriend about what she cares about and what she likes to do. Try to participate and take an interest in the things that are most important to her. [15]
    • For example, if your girlfriend says she enjoys playing video games, ask her about her favorites. See if she’s interested in playing games with you.
    • If she likes to write, ask if you can read some of her work.
  2. It’s hard to know what your girlfriend wants from your relationship unless you ask her. Checking in with your girlfriend can not only let her know you care about her, but can also make it easier for you to be supportive. Encourage her to speak up if she needs something, and ask her questions like: [16]
    • “Have you felt supported or appreciated enough in the past month?”
    • “Are we doing okay?”
    • “Are there any challenges or conflicts we haven’t resolved?”
    • “Is there anything you’d like more or less of in our relationship?”
    • “Is there anything in our relationship you’d like us to work on?”
  3. Assumptions can be very damaging in relationships. [17] Try not to assume that you know what your girlfriend feels, thinks, or wants. When in doubt, always ask!
    • Try not to assume your girlfriend knows what you’re thinking or feeling, either. If something’s on your mind, open up to her in a loving and respectful way.
    • For example, try not to assume she enjoys watching romance movies just because it’s “a girl thing.” You might find out that her ideal date is going to the zoo or doing a game night at the pub, instead.
    • Additionally, try not to assume she’s happy in the relationship. Check in with her regularly and ask for feedback. For example, you might say, “Hey, would you like it if we went out for dinner more often?”
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Section 4 of 4:

Keeping Your Relationship Exciting and Fun

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  1. Having fun together is a great way to keep the relationship positive for both of you. Finding activities you can both enjoy will help you bond more closely while also having a good time. Set aside time for the two of you just to have fun. [18]
    • For example, if you both like sports, you might go to games together or plan a watch party over the weekend.
    • Studies show that the happiest relationships are those where the couple takes time to play and have fun together! [19]
  2. In addition to doing things you already know you both like, you can keep your relationship exciting by getting outside your comfort zone together and trying new things. [20] This will help you and your girlfriend create strong memories together and help keep the spark in your relationship alive.
    • For example, you might travel to a new place together, take a class together on a topic you’re both curious about, or pick up a new mutual hobby.
  3. Your girlfriend will be happiest if her other relationships continue to thrive while you’re together. By taking an interest in her friends and family, you can show her that you respect the importance of that part of her life. [21] Plus, it’s a way for the two of you to have fun and socialize together! Try to make time to do things together as a group instead of just hanging out with your girlfriend one-on-one all the time.
    • Likewise, introduce your girlfriend to your own friends and family. Try to include her sometimes when you spend time with them.
  4. Planning time together is important, but the occasional surprise can also help keep things exciting. [22] Plan a mystery date, give her an unexpected gift “just because,” or surprise her by cooking her favorite dessert.
    • “Surprise her in some way to let her know that you care,” says matchmaker and dating coach Courtney Quinlan. “Do old school romantic things like leave her a love note on her car or treat her to a day at the spa of if she's having a rough time with something.”
    • Dating coach Joshua Pompey recommends “Planning dates that show that you are paying attention to what your partner is interested in and what she likes,” like taking her to a ballet performance if you know she loves them.
    EXPERT TIP

    Connell Barrett

    Dating Coach
    Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."
    Connell Barrett
    Dating Coach

    Go out of your way to make her feel special. We all have a deep need to feel special. A lot of relationships start to sputter when one or both partners stop making the other feel like they're number one, so ask yourself how you can make your partner feel significant, appreciated, and loved today. For instance, tell your girlfriend she's beautiful, or send her a flirty text message or a message telling her you're thinking of her.

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    Different people show love in different ways. She may say that she loves you or show her feelings through actions, like offering physical affection or doing acts of kindness to show that she cares. If you're already in a relationship with this person and not sure how she's feeling right now, the best thing to do is ask!
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    That's a decision she will have to make on her own. Be honest with her and tell her that you are interested in having sex, but respect her wishes if she says she's not ready. Don't try to pressure her into it if she isn't interested.
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    Not everybody enjoys physical touch. Have a talk with your girlfriend and ask her if she's okay with her touching you and if not, if there are other forms of affection she'd like better. If her dislike of touch is causing a lot of friction between you, it might help for both of you to talk to a counselor about it.
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      Tips

      • To make your partner feel even more loved, Barrett recommends sending her “a message saying ‘Just letting you know, I'm thinking about you today, you're very distracting, winky face smile.’”
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • The little things count. Make her food, tell her she's beautiful as much as possible, hold her hand out of nowhere, and remember to pick up after yourself if you're staying the night.
      • Love her for who she is. Try not to compare her to other women and surprise her with things that make her happy.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/acts-of-service.html
      2. ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/mental-health/brain-gift-giving
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/202009/what-are-the-5-love-languages-definition-and-examples
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201401/seven-types-physical-affection-in-relationships
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201707/the-secret-reason-why-sex-is-such-important-part-relationships
      6. ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science/
      7. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/healthy-relationship.html
      8. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0265407513489914
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201502/when-if-ever-is-it-okay-lie-your-partner
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/rediscovering-love/201808/should-you-always-be-honest-your-partner
      2. ↑ https://bodytalk.org.au/relationships/respectful-relationships/
      3. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/healthy-relationship.html
      4. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/healthy-relationship.html
      5. ↑ https://www.amherst.edu/campuslife/health-safety-wellness/counseling/self_care/healthy_relationships/10_tips_for_health_realtionships
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/magnetic-partners/202010/the-importance-shared-interests-in-relationships/
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202406/3-questions-for-couples-to-check-in-with-one-another
      8. ↑ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships-balance/2013/07/20/assumptions-are-toxic-to-relationships/
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201406/how-much-time-should-couples-spend-together
      10. ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2002-18051-004
      11. ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/six-tips-to-keep-long-term-relationships-exciting/
      12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201312/should-you-meet-your-partners-family
      13. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways-to-show-you-care/

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      If you want to make your girlfriend happy, spend time together doing things you both enjoy and occasionally surprise her with something romantic or fun, like taking her on a special date. When you're together, hold her hand, give her a hug, or rub her back so she knows you care about her. It's also important to genuinely listen to her when she talks to you about things, whether they're good or bad. In return, try to open up and share your own thoughts and feelings with her. For tips on showing your girlfriend that you're an honest and trustworthy person, read on!

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