19 Tips to Spice Things up in the Bedroom

Download Article
Expert advice to bring the magic back into your relationship
Download Article

If you’ve been with your partner for a while, it’s totally normal for that initial passion to wane over time. Fortunately, rekindling the heat in your relationship is as easy as sending a naughty text or taking a day off of work together. To build anticipation and get turned on by your partner again, read through our list of tips to have a fun, sexy time together.

Things You Should Know

  • Tease your partner during the day by sending them a sexy text or leaving them notes throughout the house.
  • Tell each other about your sexual fantasies, and find ways to incorporate them in the bedroom.
  • Introduce new toys or positions during sex to make things exciting again.
  • Plan weekly date nights to reconnect and relax together as a couple.
1

Send each other flirty texts or erotic notes.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/a6\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/a6\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-1-Version-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-1-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Exchanging naughty texts and notes will turn both of you on. Tell your partner what you want to do to them later via text, or send them a naughty pic of you. If you two live together, leave your partner short erotic notes in places you know they’ll find them. [1]
    • You might text your partner, “I’m wearing your favorite underwear today. I hope you’ll help me take them off.”
    • Leave love notes on the mirror, their bedside table, on their steering wheel, or in their briefcase. They might say things like, “Can’t wait to see you tonight,” or “I’ve got a surprise for later.”
2

Talk dirty to your partner in your daily life.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/af\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-2-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-2-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/af\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-2-Version-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-2-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Use dirty talk to build anticipation outside of the bedroom. Make a habit of whispering naughty things to your partner or incorporating references to sex in your daily conversations. This will help you both think about sex more so you anticipate it. [2]
    • Say things like, “Those pants make me want to spank you,” or “Good morning, naughty girl.”
3

Tell your lover about your sexual fantasies.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/62\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-3-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-3-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/62\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-3-Version-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-3-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Ask them to also share their fantasies with you. Then, talk about the ways you could incorporate your fantasies into your sex life so you both can get excited about it. [3]
    • You might say, “I’ve always wanted to be tied up during sex. What about you?” or “I want to pretend you’re a pirate who’s trying to steal my booty.”
    • Don’t pressure your partner to do a fantasy that makes them uncomfortable. Similarly, don’t feel like you have to act out something that feels wrong to you. Focus on finding fantasies that you both enjoy, and don’t shame each other for your differences.
4

Go on weekly dates.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/a1\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-4-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-4-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/a1\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-4-Version-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-4-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Take turns planning dates with your partner to experience new things and to create lasting memories together. On your dates, talk and show affection so you both start to anticipate what will happen in the bedroom. [4]
    • Share candle-lit dinners, take walks at sunset, and cuddle during a movie.
    • Make dinner together for a budget friendly option. Get playful with the food to make it flirty.
    • Go on a picnic in the park or on a beach.
    • Go to a sporting event or concert.
    • Do something active and adventurous like rock climbing, snowboarding, or zip-lining. If it’s winter, go sledding or ice skating.
5

Give your partner a small gift to remind them you care.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/2b\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-5-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-5-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/2b\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-5-Version-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-5-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Pick out a thoughtful gift or get something like flowers, chocolate, or lingerie. Hand it to your partner in person or surprise them by sending it to them at work. Your partner will feel special and it will create a tender moment between you. [5]
    • Your gift could be something sweet, like a small cake from their favorite bakery, or something naughty, such as a pair of fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold. Get creative!
6

Take a day off together to chase your intuition.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f8\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-6-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-6-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/f8\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-6-Version-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-6-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Arrange a day that both you and your partner will be off from work and free of other responsibilities. Clear your schedules and don't worry about making plans. Then, do the first thing that pops into your mind. Challenge yourself to spend the rest of the day following each gut feeling that you get. Not only will this help build intimacy, but it may even lead to spontaneous sex. [6]
    • You might do things like feeding the ducks at the park, having a water gun fight, rearranging the house, or learning to make espresso. It doesn't matter what you do! Just make sure that you're together and trying something different.
7

Surprise your partner by trying something new.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/27\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-7-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-7-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/27\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-7-Version-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-7-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Unfortunately, your routine can make your relationship feel less exciting, which might land you in a rut in the bedroom. Trying new things in your daily life can help you break out of this rut and rebuild intimacy. Do something new and exciting with your partner or surprise them with something special. Here are some ideas you could try: [7]
    • Go to a new restaurant.
    • Do something special on a weeknight instead of staying home.
    • Plan a secret outing to dinner, a movie, a play, or a concert.
    • Book a hotel room for a night of passion.
8

Set a romantic mood.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c3\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-8-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-8-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c3\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-8-Version-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-8-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Getting sexually aroused is partly mental, so setting the mood is important. When you want to have sex, make an effort to create a romantic setting. Here are some ways to set a sexy mood: [8]
    • Light candles and dim the lights.
    • Use a colored light, such as a red bulb.
    • Play sexy music, like Marvin Gaye, Al Green, or Usher.
    • Sprinkle rose petals around the room.
9

Engage in foreplay to build your excitement.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d6\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-9-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-9-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d6\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-9-Version-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-9-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Cuddle, touch, and kiss when you’re together to build your intimacy. When you’re getting ready for sex, fondle, caress, and massage your partner. This will build your anticipation before sex. [9]
    • Try kissing your partner along their neck, chest, arms, and body.
    • Slowly undress each other piece by piece.
    • Incorporate foreplay into your regular daily activities to keep things exciting. For instance, squeeze your partner’s butt when you pass them in the kitchen or caress their skin when you’re watching TV together.
    EXPERT TIP

    Elvina Lui, MFT

    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model.
    Elvina Lui, MFT
    Marriage & Family Therapist

    Pay attention to see if sex is gratifying to your partner and not you. If this is the case, try integrating things that will gratify you. This is not limited to sex acts that help you orgasm, but it also includes cuddling and talking, more affectionate touch, or any combination of things that help you feel closer to your partner.

10

Whisk your love away on a romantic getaway.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b8\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-10-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-10-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b8\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-10-Version-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-10-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Quality time is an essential part of a relationship. You need time together to heat things up! Plan a romantic getaway, just you and your partner. Leave your worries behind and focus on rekindling your intimacy and getting frisky. [10]
    • If you can afford a fancy trip, spend the weekend in a ski lodge, a cabin by the lake, or the honeymoon suite at a hotel.
    • If you don’t have much money, go on a naughty camping trip or switch houses with another couple for the weekend.
11

Enjoy a quickie when you find yourselves alone.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/62\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-11-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-11-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/62\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-11-Version-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-11-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Take advantage of moments when you're alone throughout the day without worrying about what you're supposed to be doing. Just enjoy the quick, intimate moment together. [11]
    • For instance, you might have a quickie before you leave for work or during your lunch hour.
    • Don’t worry about taking off your clothes. Being partly dressed can make it more exciting. Remove just enough clothes to engage in sex and enjoy the feeling of being naughty with your partner.
12

Stock up on sexy lingerie.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6d\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-12-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/6d\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-12-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Choose lingerie that you think your partner will find sexy. Then, experiment with different ways of incorporating it into your sex life. Here are some ideas: [12]
    • Surprise your partner when they come home.
    • Wear your lingerie under your clothes so your partner knows you're interested in getting flirty later.
    • Wear your lingerie to bed.
    • Dress up as a sexy version of a character your partner likes.
    • Take photos of yourself in the lingerie to send to your partner.
13

Leave the bedroom for a sexy romp in a new location.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/53\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-13-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-13-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/53\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-13-Version-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-13-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    While the bedroom is often the most convenient place to get frisky, you and your partner might get bored with it. Take your lovemaking outside the bedroom to get a new experience. This can make your sex more fun and adventurous. Try one of these places: [13]
    • Have sex on the living room table.
    • Do it outside if you have a privacy fence.
    • Park your car in a secluded location and pretend you’re in high school.
    • Public sex can be fun, but always choose a location that’s secluded and quiet. In most cases, it’s illegal to have sex in public, so use caution.
14

Incorporate sex toys into your love making.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/5c\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-14-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-14-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/5c\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-14-Version-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-14-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Go shopping for sex toys that you’re both interested in trying. Then, use them during foreplay or while you’re having sex. You might try: [14]
    • Using handcuffs, rope, or tape to bind each other.
    • Blindfolding each other during foreplay.
    • Using gags and whips if you both find it exciting.
    • Getting a dildo to use during sex.
    • Trying anal beads if you’re both into it.
    EXPERT TIP

    Elvina Lui, MFT

    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model.
    Elvina Lui, MFT
    Marriage & Family Therapist

    It certainly doesn't hurt if you find more things to help you or your partner orgasm. You two can explore oral sex, manual stimulation, and vibrators. This might or might not be important to either of you, which is why you need to have open conversations that are collaborative.

15

Role play a sexy scenario.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/9\/97\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-15-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-15-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/97\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-15-Version-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-15-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Choose characters or a scenario that appeals to both you and your partner. Then, act out a sexy situation that turns you both on, and don’t forget to dress up for your part. Try these common scenarios if you’re not sure where to start: [15]
    • Hot wife watching
    • Pornstar wife
    • Doctor and patient
    • Cop and robber
    • Maid and homeowner
    • Pizza delivery person and homeowner
16

Incorporate food into your lovemaking.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/5b\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-16.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-16.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/5b\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-16.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-16.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Add taste to your sexual experiences with food, including desserts, edible lotions , and even edible clothing accessories. Target foods that are known aphrodisiacs, like oysters and chocolate. Include food in your sex-play by feeding each other or licking it off each other. [16]
    • Drizzle chocolate onto each other or lick off whipped cream.
    • Feed each other grapes or strawberries.
    • Use edible lotions, undergarments, or frostings to make oral sex more exciting.
17

Watch porn together.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/3\/34\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-17.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-17.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/34\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-17.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-17.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Some people find adult movies to be exciting and also helpful for new ideas. Find porn for free online using sites like PornHub. Take turns choosing porn that you think both of you will like. [17]
    • For instance, watch a porn that presents a scenario that you both find exciting, such as delivery driver and bored package recipient.
    • Respect your partner if they don’t want to watch porn. If you aren’t both into it, porn can hurt your relationship instead of helping it.
    • Remember that porn is generally not meant to be realistic, so don't feel the need to "paint by the numbers."
18

Play a sex game to make things more exciting.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/0e\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-18-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-18-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0e\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-18-Version-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-18-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Struggling to come up with new ideas together? Use a sex game to explore new kinks and positions. Here are some ideas for you to choose from: [18]
    • Dice game : Buy a pair of sex dice or assign a meaning to each side of a regular dice. Then, roll the dice to see what you have to do to your partner. For instance, 1 might represent kissing, 2 might mean licking your partner's nipples, etc.
    • Hide and seek with candies : Take turns playing hide and seek with small candies. For instance, blindfold your partner, then have them use their mouth to seek 3 Hershey kisses that you hid on your body.
    • Play strip poker : Strip off a piece of clothing every time you lose a hand. Loser has to initiate sex.
19

Explore light kink if you both want to try it.

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/4e\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-19.jpg\/v4-460px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-19.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/4e\/Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-19.jpg\/v4-728px-Spice-up-Your-Sex-Life-Step-19.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you both think it sounds fun, try light bondage, blindfolds, or whips. Shop for items together, then decide how you’ll experiment in the bedroom. Additionally, make sure you have a safe word. [19]
    • For instance, you might blindfold your partner, then lead them into a different area. Next, you might sit them down in a chair and touch their skin with different objects, like an ice cube, fork tines, and warm candle wax.
    • Always have a safeword in place that either you or your partner can say to stop at any time. For instance, you might say “Red light” if you want to stop, or “Yellow light” if you just need to take a pause.
    • Consider trying an open relationship or bringing a new person into the bedroom—if you go this route, try using dating apps to advertise for this type of relationship.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 128 wikiHow readers and 59% of them named Tinder as their favorite online dating platform. [Take Poll] So that one might work for you, too!

Become a Dominatrix with this Expert Series

Being a dominatrix means taking sexual control and trying new things with the consent of your partner. Enter this exciting world with this Expert Series.
1
Exploring Domme Roleplay: Expert Bedroom Tips
2
The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Dominatrix
3
Bondage 101: How to Tie Up Your Lover, Explained
4
19 Tips to Spice Things up in the Bedroom
5
Be Irresistible to a Man in Bed
6
How to Look & Act Like the Goddess You Are

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit

      Video

      Tips

      Show More Tips
      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      Warnings

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Spice Up Your Relationship
      How to Have Fun in Bed While Avoiding Sex in a Relationship
      18 Ways to Increase Physical Intimacy in a Relationship
      18 Tips To Have a Better Sex Life
      How to Have an Orgasm (for Women)
      Bondage 101: How to Tie Up Your Lover, Explained
      How to
      Make Sex Better
      How to
      Lose Your Virginity Without Pain (Girls)
      How to Know If Sperm Entered Your Body during Vaginal Sex
      Undress to Impress: Remove Your Clothes (or Your Partner’s Clothes) in the Hottest Way Possible
      22 Subtle Ways to Touch Him to Show Affection (or to Turn Him On)
      How to Start Sex and Turn Your Partner On
      How to
      Have Sex During Your Period
      How to
      Have Phone Sex

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/z3meba/how-to-sext-like-pro
      2. ↑ https://www.aarp.org/personal-growth/transitions/info-05-2011/5-weeks-ep2-better-sex.html
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/save-your-sex-life/201710/how-improve-your-sex-life-tonight
      4. ↑ https://smartcouples.ifas.ufl.edu/dating/having-fun-and-staying-close/101-fun-dating-ideas/
      5. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a9994022/how-to-be-spontaneous-relationship/
      6. ↑ https://exploringyourmind.com/3-keys-to-being-more-spontaneous/
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-you-and-me/201204/four-ways-keep-your-relationship-alive
      8. ↑ https://www.aarp.org/personal-growth/transitions/info-05-2011/5-weeks-ep2-better-sex.html
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201307/the-folly-frequently-foregoing-foreplay
      1. ↑ https://www.aarp.org/personal-growth/transitions/info-05-2011/5-weeks-ep2-better-sex.html
      2. ↑ https://www.aarp.org/personal-growth/transitions/info-05-2011/5-weeks-ep2-better-sex.html
      3. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/spice-up-sex-life/
      4. ↑ https://www.aarp.org/personal-growth/transitions/info-05-2011/5-weeks-ep2-better-sex.html
      5. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/spice-up-sex-life/
      6. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/spice-up-sex-life/
      7. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a35018/best-foods-to-have-sex-with-ranked/
      8. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/spice-up-sex-life/
      9. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/g3801/naughty-sex-games/
      10. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/spice-up-sex-life/

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To spice up your sex life, try creating a romantic mood, such as by placing candles in the bedroom or sprinkling a trail of rose petals to the bed. You should also take time to plan dates with your partner, like a candlelit dinner or a walk at sunset, since experiencing new things together is a great way to increase passion. When you want to be a bit more adventurous in the bedroom, try buying a different kind of sexy lingerie, like leather, lace, or feathers, which will add a bit of surprise to your sex life. If you want to try playing with toys, find a sex shop to go to with your partner and pick out things you find interesting, like handcuffs, gags, or whips. Alternatively, consider adding food to your sex life, such as edible lotions or underwear. For tips from our Relationship co-author on how to make your sex life more spontaneous, read on!

      Did this summary help you?
      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 715,135 times.

      Reader Success Stories

      • Anonymous

        May 3

        "My boyfriend found me more sexually atractive."
      More reader stories Hide reader stories
      Share your story
      If you buy through links on our site, we may earn a commission .

      Did this article help you?