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It's hard to know what to do when it becomes clear that a girl is interested in you. Should you play it cool? Should you avoid her? Things may seem a little complicated when feelings are involved, but you can communicate with a girl who likes you in person, through gestures, and digitally to show her whether or not you like her too.
Steps
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Strike up a conversation if you want to get to know her better. If you and the girl who likes you aren’t close but it’s clear that she likes you, start small and bring up a common interest. This will break the ice , make things less awkward, and establish a bond that you can progress from.
- If you’re on the soccer team and she’s on the volleyball team at school, consider starting a conversation about sports.
- Start a conversation about a class you have together by saying something like, “I’m so glad that last chapter is over with. What did you think about last night’s reading?”
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Compliment her from time to time. A unique, tasteful compliment can go a long way. Whether you’re referencing a physical characteristic or personality trait, giving a girl a compliment is a great way to express your affection, especially if you remain composed and relaxed when you do this. [1] X Research source Complimenting her here and there is better because too often might make her annoyed or uneasy. (Why? Because she might think you're buttering her up.)
- If she tells you that she did well on a test that she got back today, you might say, “That’s great! It doesn’t surprise me at all; you’re very smart and hard-working.”
- If she has particularly attractive blue eyes, you might say, “I really like your eyes. They’re a very pretty blue.”
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Smile often and make eye contact . Smiling a lot and looking her in the eye at appropriate moments communicate that you’re confident and interested. This is a good first step in beginning to flirt with her . Be careful not to stare, because excessive eye contact often seems creepy.
- Acknowledge her in the hallway by giving a casual wave, smiling, and making brief eye contact.
- Be careful not to smile excessively—you want things to feel natural, not forced. [2]
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Expert Source
Eddy Baller
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
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Mirror her body language. Since she likes you, she might lean in closer when talking to you or turn her hips, torso, and feet to face your direction. [3] X Research source Mirror movements like these to show her that you like her too.
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Be chivalrous, but don’t overdo it. Holding a door open for someone is always a nice gesture, but doing it every time seems a little over-the-top, even to someone who likes you. Avoid big gestures like giving her flowers because this might be off-putting and overwhelming. It isn’t an appropriate time in your barely budding relationship to give a gift like this. Wait until you’ve been dating someone for a while. [4] X Research source
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Communicate with less pressure via social media. If you’re shy, liking one of her statuses on Facebook, leaving her a sweet comment on an Instagram photo, or even just friending or following her on social media are easier ways to show that you like her and are paying attention to her. [5] X Research source
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Text her frequently, but not too eagerly. Especially since you like her back, it might be tough to not text her several times in a row, write long passages, or confront her about not responding. [6] X Research source This usually comes off as clingy, so as a good rule of thumb, stay relaxed and text her as much as she texts you.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1357 wikiHow readers how long they typically wait to respond to someone they’re interested in, and 50% of them agreed that they respond right away to show their enthusiasm . [Take Poll]
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Be bold and give her a call. In today’s world, texting has become the norm and calling a love interest is seen by many women as an act of courage. [7] X Research source If your conversations in person and via text are long, comfortable, and natural, calling is the next step to take.
- If you want to ask her out, be bold and phrase it as a statement, not a question. For example, instead of asking, "Do you want to get coffee sometime?" you could say "We should get coffee sometime."
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Quiz
wikiHow Quiz: Does She Like Me?
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Ignore her advances if you aren’t interested. The best way to show that you don’t like her as more than a friend is by acting like it isn’t happening. If you just act normal while she’s making her feelings obvious, she will probably eventually realize why.
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Drop hints before you tell her you don’t like her. Exhaust all other options before you tell a girl directly that you aren’t interested in her. Since she has feelings for you, she will most likely be hurt and embarrassed if you reject her so harshly. Keep your conversations with her relatively brief and don’t deviate too much from small talk. If this doesn’t do the trick, try hinting in one or more of the following ways to insinuate that you aren’t interested in a more subtle way:
- Be unreceptive when she tries to make plans to meet up in the future.
- Tell her that you’re in a relationship with someone else.
- Tell her you’re really busy and don’t have time for a relationship right now.
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Counter her body language. She will probably make small movements and position her body in a way that is welcoming. To show that you don’t feel the way she does, counter her movements. If she sits a little too close to you, scoot away from her a little bit. [8] X Research source Also consider crossing your arms sometimes when she approaches you. This is a natural sign of resistance. [9] X Research source
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Be honest, kind and clear if she’s not getting the hint. If you’ve tried to be clear in other ways and she’s still being forward, it’s probably time to be direct. Remember to speak to her the way you’d like to be spoken to if you were in her position. Try using “I” statements to keep the conversation more about you. Listing reasons why you don’t like her is rude and will damage her confidence, so don’t do that. Instead, try saying one of these statements:
- “I’m really sorry, but I don’t see you that way.”
- “I think you’re great, but I’m looking for something else right now.”
- “I’ve enjoyed talking with you, but I’m not really feeling a romantic connection between us.” [10] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
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Text her in a kind but minimal manner. Since you don’t like her as more than a friend, keep your texts friendly, but short and relatively infrequent. Texting her too much can give her the wrong idea, which could get her hopes up and make her feel more disappointed later on.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I tell if I like a girl as more than a friend?Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.If you have to ask that question, you already know. If you're wondering if you like her more than a friend, you do. It's complicated, friendships between men and women are very complicated. And when you're wondering if you like her more than a friend, you probably already do. That's already a sign.
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QuestionHow should I ask a girl if she likes me?Community AnswerWhen it's the right moment, you can ask her if she likes you just by saying something like, "Do you like me more than a friend?" If this is too direct of a move for you, check out wikiHow's article on the subject: How to Get a Girl to Admit That She Likes You .
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QuestionHow do I know if a girl likes me?Community AnswerIt can be hard to tell if a girl likes you or not. Read wikiHow's How to Know if a Girl Likes You to get a better idea of whether or not she does.
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Tips
- If you like the girl, do your best to project confidence when you're around her. Make eye contact, stand up straight, and speak up when you talk. Most girls are attracted to confidence. [11] X Expert Source Eddy Baller
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.Thanks - Try your best to not lead a girl on if you don’t want to pursue a relationship with her.Thanks
- Don't try to show that you like her (or dislike her) by being mean to her. Girls often don’t like when guys are rude or purposely annoying.Thanks
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Warnings
- If you like her, don’t wait too long to act on it. If you don’t show that you like her soon enough, she might move on to someone else.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-give-a-powerful-compliment
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/mirroring/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/rethinking-men/201501/chivalry
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201702/falling-in-love-online-romantic-or-risky
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/love-digitally/201806/why-do-we-flirt-text
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/text-conversation-starters/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/female-body-language/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/arm-body-language/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
About This Article
Article Summary
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If you’re unsure how to act around a girl who likes you, be friendly and strike up a conversation, which will show her you're interested too! Try starting a conversation about something you have in common to break the ice. For example, if you have class together, say something like, “I’m so glad that last chapter is over with.” You could also give her an honest compliment from time to time, such as telling her she’s smart or has nice eyes. Remember to smile a lot when you’re around her so she knows you enjoy hanging out with her. If she's talking, make eye contact and avoid getting distracted by your phone. For tips on how to respond to a girl over social media or text, keep reading!
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