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Make room in your schedule, because we’re going to make you a pro at flirting
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Are you ready to talk to the pretty girl who’s caught your eye? Have no fear because we’re here to help you get the girl of your dreams. With our help, you’ll be able to flirt with pretty girls in person or over text. We’ll tell you exactly what to say to impress her so you can flirt with confidence. So what are you waiting for? Let’s get started!
Things You Should Know
- Approach her with a smile and follow up with a genuine, sweet compliment. Introduce yourself and continue to hold eye contact as you do this.
- Be playful over text by sending memes, asking her questions, and referencing inside jokes.
- Focus on getting to know her. Ask her thoughtful questions and when she shares things with you, remember the details (this shows you care!).
- Ask her on a date. When you two hit the town, remember to be polite, kind, chivalrous, and reliable.
Steps
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Act confident when you approach her. Even if you don’t feel confident, just fake it because no one will be able to tell. Give yourself a little pep talk before you approach her so you’re feeling good about yourself. Your confidence will impress her and make her more receptive to flirting. [1] X Research source
- “I’m smart, funny, and a good catch.”
- “I’m looking awesome today. I can do this!”
- “I’m a funny musician. What more could she want?”
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Look and feel your best. You’ve got what it takes to impress the girls, you just gotta embrace it. Before you go out, take a shower, brush your teeth, put on deodorant , and maybe even apply cologne . Then, throw on your favorite outfit and style your hair so you look fierce. [2] X Research source
- Ignore what’s trendy and just wear what you like. When you feel good, girls will naturally find you attractive.
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Introduce yourself with a smile. A friendly smile will show her you’re into her without you having to say a word. As you walk up to her, catch her eye and flash your pearly whites. Watch her reaction to see if she smiles back. [3] X Research source If so, say, “Hi,” and tell her your name. After you say your name, she’ll likely tell you hers.
- “Hi, I’m Alex.”
- “Hey, how’s it going? I’m Sam.”
- “Hello, my name’s Taylor.”
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Give her a genuine compliment. Pique her interest with a little flattery. When you deliver the compliment, use her name to create a connection. Then, be specific about something you like about her. [4] X Research source
- “Your hair is beautiful, the color really brings out your eyes.”
- "I noticed your Nirvana shirt. That's my favorite band!"
- “I want to congratulate you for getting an A on that chemistry exam, I thought it was really hard!”
EXPERT TIPDating CoachJohn Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.Make your compliment around an observation, like what she's wearing. Maybe she is wearing clothes that match her nail polish or compliment her makeup. If you notice it looks perfect together, let her know that. Give her an observational compliment and go forward from there.
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Ask her questions to get to know her better. People love to talk about themselves, so use questions to start a conversation. By taking an interest in her, you’re also showing her that you’re into her. [5] X Research source As she talks, remember little details that she tells you so she knows you care.
- “What’s your favorite thing to order here?”
- “How’s your summer going?”
- “Great Billie Eilish Tee! Which album is your favorite?”
- “Did you make those earrings?”
- “Cool bag. Where’d you get it?”
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Make eye contact when she’s talking and listen closely. When she's speaking, make eye contact about 70% of the time to show you’re listening. At the same time, it’s okay to look away every 4-5 seconds, as long as you shift your eyes to the side. Do your best to hold her gaze so you can show her that you’re interested in getting to know her. [6] X Research source
- Every once and a while, nod and say something like, “Wow,” “Cool,” or “That’s wild” so she knows you’re really listening.
- If you have something to add to the conversation, make sure you wait until there’s a pause to jump in with your comment. Don’t interrupt her because it’ll make her feel like you aren’t interested in what she’s saying.
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Lean forward so she knows you’re interested in her. Your body language is super important when you’re flirting. Leaning toward her makes it clear that you’re interested and are hanging on her every word. Just angle your body toward her, and you’ll be silently flirting during your entire conversation. [7] X Research source
- While you’re leaning forward, make sure you don’t invade her personal space. If she backs away, respect her need for more space.
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Tell her a joke or a funny story to make her laugh. Girls love when you have a great sense of humor and can make them laugh. Share a silly or embarrassing personal story during your conversation, or deliver a funny joke. She’ll wanna keep talking if you have her in stitches. [8] X Research source
- You can totally be funny ! Just practice sharing your stories and jokes, and you’ll be a pro soon.
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Touch her lightly if she’s comfortable with you. Making physical contact is a great way to flirt with a girl. Start by reaching out and touching her hand or arm. If you’re both sitting down, sit beside her so that your legs touch. When you’re talking, lightly touch her shoulder with your fingers or palm. Pay attention to her reaction, though, so you don’t make her uncomfortable. [9] X Research source
- If she seems uncomfortable or pulls away, back off and give her some space. After that, let her take the lead when it comes to touching.
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Tease her gently if you’re already close with her. Bring up inside jokes so she remembers that you are really close. Additionally, give her a cute nickname, like “Kitty Kat” or “Smarty Pants.” On the other hand, steer clear of any topics she’s sensitive about, like body type or intelligence, because you don’t want to hurt her feelings.
- “Wow, Jenna, your shoes are almost as bright as your smile!”
- “You’re so funny! You must have a Netflix special coming out any day now.”
- “How’s it going, Doll Face?”
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Like and comment on her social media posts. Follow her on social media so you can interact with her posts. [10] X Trustworthy Source Pew Research Center Nonpartisan thinktank conducting research and providing information on public opinion, demographic trends, and social trends Go to source When she sees you constantly on her feed, she’ll probably realize that you like her. Hopefully, she’ll start interacting with your posts, too. If she does, she might like you back!
- “Cute outfit!”
- “Your smile is amazing.”
- “Looks fun!”
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Tell her about something that reminded you of her. Let her know that you’re thinking about her when you’re not together. Send her a pic of something, like her favorite restaurant or something she’d been talking about buying. Alternatively, mention a detail from a past conversation.
- “I just ate some Rocky Road ice cream and thought of you. Is it still your fave?”
- “I was just listening to the band that you recommended yesterday. You have awesome taste!”
- “Today I saw a yellow Love Bug drive by and thought it was you.”
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Ask her a question so she knows you’re interested in her. Use your convo to get to know her a little better. Go with a serious question or a silly question, depending on how you’re feeling. When she responds, tell her how you’d answer the question. Then, ask another question to keep the conversation going. [11] X Research source
- What’s better: snow days or sunny days?
- What’s the last movie that you watched?
- What’s your favorite thing to do on a Saturday?
- Would you rather eat a caterpillar or a cricket?
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Send her a meme that will make her laugh. Memes are such an easy way to flirt! [12] X Trustworthy Source Pew Research Center Nonpartisan thinktank conducting research and providing information on public opinion, demographic trends, and social trends Go to source Share a meme that made you think of her or that is related to her interests. She’ll probably smile when she opens it—which is great for you. Hopefully, she’ll respond quickly so you can keep the chat going.
- “This is totally you.”
- “Thought you’d like this.”
- “Hahahahaha”
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Make her laugh by being silly. Girls love it when you're funny, so joke around with her. It’s so easy to be funny over text because you just have to be goofy. To make her life, send her outrageous responses to whatever she says, and exaggerate to make things sound ridiculous. Trust us, she’ll be laughing in no time. [13] X Research source
- “I’m so tired I’m probably going to sleep for a year. Will you wake me up next December?”
- “Oh, you’re going out of town this weekend? Will you be taking your private jet?”
- “I can’t believe how smart you are. Didn't you graduate already?”
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Compliment her so she knows you like her. It’s so much easier to reveal how much you like a girl over text. Tell her something you like about her and see how she responds. [14] X Research source Maybe she’ll give you a compliment back!
- “You always make me laugh.”
- “You have such a great sense of style.”
- “I always have fun with you.”
- “I really enjoyed your presentation today.”
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Send her thoughtful replies so the chat keeps going. We know it’s hard to think of a good response sometimes, but short replies can kill your conversation. [15] X Research source Do your best to give her something to respond to. When in doubt, just ask her another question.
- “Hahaha! Does this meme remind you of anyone?”
- “That sounds fun! Is it your first time surfing?”
- “Cool hat! Did you make it yourself?”
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Limit yourself to one text at a time. When you really like someone, it’s soooo hard to wait for a response. Plus, sometimes you find something else you want to send—like a great meme—and you can’t wait to show her. Hold off on sending another text until she replies, though. She might get overwhelmed if you send her multiple texts at once.
- You can always save the other text for later!
- While you’re waiting for her to respond, do something fun to distract yourself so you’re not staring at your phone.
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Be yourself so she gets to know the real you. Pretty girls are just like anyone else—they want someone authentic. She’ll be able to tell if you’re pretending to be someone you’re not to impress her. Instead, let her get to know you. [16] X Research source
- You’ll have a better relationship if you just be yourself.
- Lots of girls are impressed when you’re confident enough to just be you.
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Make plans with her. At first, just focus on getting to know her and making a connection. Invite her to hang out and do something fun without any pressure. Alternatively, ask her to go out on a group hang. Additionally, keep it low key so there’s no pressure and she feels safe. [17] X Research source
- “I’m going bowling with some friends on Friday. Wanna come?”
- “Since we both like art, maybe we could check out the new exhibit at the Downtown museum.”
- “I was planning on getting coffee. I’d love to buy you a cup.”
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Ask her out if things are going well. If she keeps your conversation going and seems to enjoy hanging out, she’ll probably be open to going on a date. Pick an activity you know that she’ll like, and ask if she’d like to go with you. Be flexible with her schedule so she’s more likely to say “yes.” [18] X Research source
- “I’d like to take you out to dinner this weekend, just the two of us. Would you like to go on Friday or Saturday?”
- “Since we both like mini golf, I was wondering if you’d like to go play with me this Friday. Afterwards, we could get some ice cream.”
- “I think we have a lot in common, and I’d like to spend more time with you. Would you be interested in getting coffee this weekend?”
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Be courteous and kind when you’re around her. Open doors and hold her hand to show her that you’re interested and will treat her well. This goes a long way to show that you’d make a good partner. [19] X Research source She'll be super impressed by your romantic gestures.
- Kindness will demonstrate to the girl that you’re trustworthy and reliable, which are both very desirable traits.
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Move onto a new girl if she says no. It really hurts when someone turns you down, but it might have nothing to do with you. Maybe she’s just really busy right now or has a crush of her own. Trust us, there’s someone great out there for you, so keep putting yourself out there.
- Say something like, “Thanks anyway,” or “No problem. I’ll ask someone else.”
- Flirting with pretty girls gets easier the more times you do it. Plus, it can be super fun!
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Help with Talking to a Girl
Join the Discussion...
I keep seeing this beautiful girl at a cafe I study at, and I really want to talk to her. But I feel so awkward. What do I do? How do I get her t... Read More
Great question. The first thing to do is to always go back to step one, which is your own mindset and way of being. For you to approach her in th... Read More
Fully agree on the eye contact thing. Makes it so much easier to break the ice and then you’re already halfway to starting a conversation. If s... Read More
Community Q&A
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QuestionWhat does humor mean?Community AnswerHaving a "good sense of humor" means you are funny and can make other people laugh. Humor is personal though so be careful. What makes one person laugh hysterically might seem cheesy or even offensive to someone else. Take your cue from her, and if she doesn't laugh at your jokes, maybe try a different type of humor or just flirt in other ways.
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QuestionDo these techniques work if you’re a girl using them on a girl as well?Danielle HusbandCommunity AnswerYes! You can totally use these techniques to flirt with another girl. It helps to find out if she's interested in girls first, though. Hopefully, she'll like you just as much as you like her!
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QuestionWhat if she's not in your school?Danielle HusbandCommunity AnswerFlirt with her over social media and try to get her number so you can text her. You can flirt just as much over text as you can in person. Additionally, try inviting her over or inviting her to hang with you and your friends if you can.
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Warnings
- Watch her body language. If she is stepping away from you, then something you are doing is making her uncomfortable.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/confidence.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/201701/why-physical-attraction-matters-and-when-it-might-not
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
- ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/the-secret-to-giving-a-compliment-that-makes-people-glow/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201605/do-you-flirt-more-you-realize
- ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/eye_contact_dont_make_these_mistakes
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/14747049221088011
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201202/how-flirt-and-seduce-touch-part-1
- ↑ https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2015/10/01/teens-technology-and-romantic-relationships/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
- ↑ https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2015/10/01/teens-technology-and-romantic-relationships/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/g23841958/how-to-text-a-girl/?slide=4
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/g23841958/how-to-text-a-girl/?slide=2
- ↑ https://www.psychreg.org/ways-to-attract-people/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/5-ways-indirectly-ask-date
- ↑ https://practicalpie.com/the-basics-of-asking-a-girl-out/
- ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/
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