How to Deal with Feeling Stupid and Improve Your Self-Esteem

Co-authored by Donna Novak, Psy.D and Jessica Gibson

Last Updated: September 28, 2024 Fact Checked

You can be your own worst critic. Maybe you said the wrong thing to someone, you made a mistake at work, or you feel like everyone's smarter than you at school. This doesn't mean you're stupid—everyone feels this way at some point! To help you turn your negative thoughts around, we've come up with positive suggestions that you can start trying today.

1

Figure out why you feel this way.

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If you often feel stupid, think back to your earliest memory of this hurtful feeling. You might have had a relative tell you that you were dumb or maybe you grew up with parents who made you feel bad. Some people who have low self-esteem or anxiety might feel stupid. It's important to identify why you feel this way so you can address it. ^{[1]
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- Even if you make a silly mistake and feel stupid, you might find that you feel this way because you were embarrassed in front of classmates or co-workers.

2

Give yourself permission to mess up.

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Being afraid to make mistakes can make you feel stupid, but you're not. Wanting to succeed is a natural desire, but you won't always do things right on the first try. Just because you need to fix something or do something again doesn't mean you're not smart. Tell yourself that it's alright to make mistakes and that it doesn't make you less intelligent. ^{[2]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
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- This is especially important if your fear of feeling stupid is stopping you from trying new things or you're turning down opportunities.

3

Don't take yourself too seriously.

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If you make a mistake or don't know something, don't feel ashamed. Acknowledge that you may need to learn something or do something different in the future, but don't take it to heart. Look for the humor in the situation—after all, no one's perfect. ^{[3]
X
Trustworthy Source
Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
Go to source}
- For example, if you trip while walking up to your desk, instead of quietly thinking to yourself how stupid you are, make a joke ! You might say, "Sorry everybody, this is my first time walking." A joke can break the tension and you can move on.

4

Change your negative thought to a positive one.

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You're probably your own biggest critic so stop beating yourself up! When you notice yourself thinking, "I'm so stupid. I can't believe I did that," immediately stop yourself. Then, ask yourself if you'd say that to someone else. If you wouldn't, then don't be so harsh on yourself! Instead, move on with a positive mindset. ^{[4]
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Trustworthy Source
Johns Hopkins Medicine
Official resource database of the world-leading Johns Hopkins Hospital
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- For example, if accidentally did the wrong assignment and turned it in, just tell yourself that you got some extra practice with that lesson. Then, move on and do the one you were supposed to.

Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Do I Have Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter Syndrome is a frustrating and discouraging phenomenon that occurs when people feel they’re a complete fraud. While viewing everyone else as skilled and qualified, someone with imposter syndrome views themselves as an unqualified phony who will inevitably be found out. Do you suspect that you could be a victim of imposter syndrome? Take this quiz to get a better idea of where you stand.

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