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Being single doesn’t have to be all about drinking wine by yourself every night, pining over a romantic comedy, or a distant crush. Being single can give you amazing freedom and provide you with an opportunity to polish your own life skills and deepen your life experience. That way, if and when you do choose to leave the single life behind you will have plenty of independent living under your belt. The key to enjoying your single life is to make the most of your time, take advantage of your freedom, and prepare for a relationship.
Steps
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Define what being single means for you. Regardless of your situation and reason for being single, it's important for you to identify what being single means to you, especially if you do see/think yourself in a relationship in the future. Practice not always needing another person's validation or understanding. Learn to be comfortable being alone, and practice loving and accepting yourself as a single person.
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Take a spontaneous trip. Because you don't have to worry about another person's preferences or schedule, you can go where you want, when you want! You can take a day off of work to make a day trip to an unfamiliar city nearby, or perhaps a weekend trip in your own city, to explore freely. [1] X Research source
- Being single also means you get to choose your destination. You don’t have to compromise or go somewhere you have no interest in being. The choice is all yours.
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Live in a tent (or a similarly transient lifestyle). If you’ve always wanted to live a vagabond’s life, now is your chance. After all, being a relationship might interfere with your desire to hop from campsite to campsite, or call the wilderness your home. [2] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- This option is particularly great if you are young and love to travel. Living in a tent allows you to move about freely, without a house payment or rent, with only a few things to pack up before your next adventure.
- You don't have to live in a tent to look at your life as an adventure with endless possibilities. Engage with the world around you, be curious, and say YES to every invitation! [3]
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Expert Source
Cristina Morara
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
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Change jobs, if you don’t like your current job. Being in a relationship typically requires you to share your decision-making with another person. This can mean that you are stuck in a job you don’t love in order to provide security or peace of mind for someone else. If you’re single, you just have to make sure you can take care of you, so leave that job you hate behind, and chase a position you’ll really love. [4] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- If you do quit your job, make sure you have another job lined up first: being single and (unintentionally) homeless is not quite as freeing as being single and financially stable.
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Realize your time is your own. Being in a relationship, while it can be wonderful, means sharing your time and life with another person. Being single, you do not have to worry about letting someone else know if you plan to be out for the evening, or you’re off to make a grocery store run in the early morning--or even if you’d like to take a weekend vacation to another city. Having your time all to yourself can be quite empowering. [5] X Research source
- You do not have to fill up your spare time with activities. If being at home, or taking long walks on your own makes you happy, go for it. Having time to yourself means having time to do what you love.
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Focus on your friendships. Being single doesn’t have to mean being free from all relationships. It can also mean that you have more time and energy to put into your existing friendships. If you have a friend in need, you can rush to their aid without checking in with a partner. If your friends want to go on a trip to a music festival, there’s no one holding you back. [6] X Research source
- Some studies have found that single people can actually be happier. The key is in making sure you have strong, fulfilling friendships.
- Remember that your friends are the family you choose. If you don’t have supportive, loving friends, make it a goal to find some. A supportive group of people around you can encourage you to try new things. [7]
X
Expert Source
Cristina Morara
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
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Learn how to be on your own. Being on your own can be a wonderful thing. Learn how to take care of yourself properly, such as how to cook and clean for yourself, how to keep your home clean, how to wash laundry, and how to manage your time. All of these skills will be invaluable to you both as a singleton, and as someone in a [8] X Research source
- This is not an easy task. You might have to start small, by making yourself breakfast each morning, or making a point to iron your work shirts.
- Taking care of yourself properly means different things to different people. Find what works best for you.
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Learn a new skill. Take the free time you might otherwise be spending with your significant other and learn a new skill! Whether you sign up for one-on-one singing lessons with a professional, or you hop onto a site such as Skillshare to brush up on graphic design, learning a new skill will keep you busy and enrich your life. [9] X Research source
- Being single is a great time to experiment. If you start learning something new and don’t like it, move on to something else.
- Once you’ve found your new skill, indulge in it.
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Practice self care. Providing the basics for yourself is great, but self care is even more important. On top of making sure you are fed, groomed, and clean, you’ll need to make sure your “cup” is full. For some, that means taking time every morning to meditate and enjoy a slow cup of tea. For others, that might mean going to the gym four times per week to work on your physique.
- Self care will look different for everyone. When developing a self care routine, identify what it is that makes you feel complete and relaxed day-to-day. Make that a priority.
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Make (and meet) your goals. Make goals as a single person, and budget your time to accomplish them. You can make small goals, such as eating at least three meals per week at home, or you can make large goals, such as having a promotion by this time next year.
- Make goals that matter to you, not anyone else. Doing so will get you further in life and will be far more important in motivating you to achieve your goals.
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Focus on your career. Take the energy you may have spent on a relationship and pour it into your work. Even if you are not in a job that you hope to make a career of, you can improve your future career prospects by, perhaps, working your way up to manage your store, or building your body to fit the demands of a high-ranking labor position. [10] X Trustworthy Source Science Direct Online archive of peer-reviewed research on scientific, technical and medical topics Go to source
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Reflect on past relationships. Past relationships are great for teaching you about yourself and your future relationships. To prepare yourself for the possibility of a new relationship, identify any areas of your past that may have contributed to your break up. Notice anything you may have done to push your partner away, or actions you may have done to be controlling or manipulative. Search for ways you can improve your behavior as a partner. [11] X Research source
- Don’t be afraid to take some time to yourself. You don’t need to jump from one relationship to another. Enjoy the in-between times and give yourself time to heal.
- Reader Poll: We asked 752 wikiHow readers who've struggled to find independence in their relationship, and 61% of them agreed the biggest hurdle was meeting their own emotional needs. [Take Poll]
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Work on your flaws. Take some time to reflect on your character, and notice any flaws you might have. Work on those to be a better partner and friend. This can be hard--no one wants to think about their flaws. But identifying and working on them will make you a better person, and will likely even increase your happiness. [12] X Research source
- Perhaps jealousy is a flaw for you. Practice being grateful for what you have.
- Maybe manipulation comes easy to you. While single, practice saying what you actually mean, and being honest with yourself and others.
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Evaluate your likes and dislikes. Many people forego their loves in favor of whatever their significant other likes. Take some time to evaluate your likes and dislikes, including your musical taste, your preferences regarding food, drink, and lifestyle, and even what you absolutely require from a relationship or partner. This will make you an invaluable partner, as you will know yourself well, and will not bow down to make other people happy.
- This is another great time to experiment. Try new foods, music, or movies. Do activities you’ve never done before. You may discover things you really love.
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Seek help. If your aversion to your single life is insurmountable or feels too overwhelming to sort out by yourself, seek the help of a counselor or therapist. Although you might feel like you are alone in your struggle with being alone, plenty of people struggle to be both happy and single. A qualified professional can give you strategies to cope with your frustration, and may also be able to provide you with a fresh perspective on your situation. [13] X Research source
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Practice mindfulness. Finally, make some room for gratitude and mindfulness in your life. While single, notice the way food feels against your lips and tongue, notice the sounds you hear as you take your dog for a walk, or tune in to your feelings on a particularly stressful day. Mindfulness helps you know your body and mind thoroughly, so that you can make more concrete decisions, and develop confidence and ease. [14] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
- Mindfulness can be difficult when you are in a relationship, as a lot of your time and attention are diverted.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I be happy being single?Cristina Morara is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, Relationship Expert, and the Founder of Stellar Hitch Private Matchmaking, a luxury matchmaking service based in Los Angeles that serves clients nationwide and internationally. As a former casting director, Cristina specializes in finding the perfect partner through her exclusive global network and detailed, warm approach. Cristina holds a BA in Communications and Psychology from Villanova University. Stellar Hitch has been featured in the Huffington Post, Chelsea Handler’s Netflix documentary, ABC News, the Tonight Show, Voyage LA, and the Celebrity Perspective.Say YES to every invitation! Be curious. Look at your life as an adventure with endless possibilities. Engage with the world around you instead of your phone. Smile and say hello to everyone. Fill your cup; figure out what you need to feel nourished and happy. The happier you are with your life, the better you will feel which makes you even more attractive. Make sure you have a supportive group of people around you who encourage you to try new things. Being single is the perfect opportunity to design the life you want, amplify your best qualities and know that you are enough...
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QuestionI love someone too much but he doesn't love me. What should I do?Community AnswerIf he doesn't like you then he is not worth it. You are beautiful just the way you are and if he doesn't think you're enough I would find someone who actually deserves you.
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QuestionHow can I get over someone I love who doesn't love me back?Community AnswerThis has happened to me. Try focusing on friendship, other activities, and enjoying life. He/she is not interested, so move on, and try forgetting about him/her. Pick up a new healthy habit like running or gardening.
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Tips
- Make the most of your single time by hanging out with your single friends. They might enjoy being unattached just as much as you.Thanks
- Ignore what people think of your relationship status. Your life is yours, and not anyone else’s.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-defy-societys-singlism-and-embrace-independent-life
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-be-ok-with-being-single/
- ↑ Cristina Morara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-be-ok-with-being-single/
- ↑ https://theawarenesscentre.com/being-single/
- ↑ https://time.com/5401028/benefits-being-single-experts/
- ↑ Cristina Morara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ https://medium.com/mind-cafe/how-learning-to-enjoy-being-single-can-make-you-happier-46b03ea4af64
- ↑ https://theawarenesscentre.com/being-single/
- ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886922002513
- ↑ https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00746/full
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-carol-morgan/if-you-dont-like-being-single-you-need-to-read-this_b_6294266.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/web-loneliness/201404/treating-loneliness-its-more-just-meeting-others
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/07-08/ce-corner
About This Article
Article Summary
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To enjoy being single, take advantage of your freedom by going on a spontaneous trip and try to devote more time to developing your friendships. You can also focus on your career, or even change jobs and move to a new city, since you don't have to factor in a partner's situation when making major life decisions. Next, use your free time to learn a new skill or explore something that interests you. Practicing self-care, working on time management skills, and teaching yourself how to be more independent can also be very rewarding! For tips using this time to prepare yourself for a few relationship, read on!
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Reader Success Stories
- "I think the article helps in giving people, myself included, how to take full advantage of what to do while you are single. With me, I whiffed on the relationships I should have pursued (in high school and college); while I followed through on a "relationship" that I should have said no. But the pointers here will come in handy whenever I start living on my own." ..." more
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"I think the article helps in giving people, myself included, how to take full advantage of what to do while you are single. With me, I whiffed on the relationships I should have pursued (in high school and college); while I followed through on a "relationship" that I should have said no. But the pointers here will come in handy whenever I start living on my own."
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"it is very helpful article for me because I am obsessed with being commited to a relationship, but after reading this article I felt being single is best and if you are single you can flirt with anyone."
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