16 Ways to Tell If Your Ex Still Likes You (Even If They Say They Don’t)

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Solve the mystery that's on your mind: is your ex really over you?
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Whether you’re doing the breaking up or getting broken up with, cutting ties with your ex is the worst. Just because a relationship has ended doesn't mean that the feelings you shared for each other did, too—you have history! If you’ve been curious whether or not your ex still has feelings for you, that makes total sense. The good news is, everyone has tells, and with the right guidance, you can easily spot your ex’s. We’ve got you covered; read on for 16 subtle signs that your ex is still hung up on you!

Pay attention to how often your ex contacts you or likes your posts on social media. If your ex keeps calling and texting you or starts showing up at your favorite places, they may still like you. When you see your ex, take note of any open body language like touching your arm while talking.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Watching Their Behavior

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    [1] Your ex will probably try to find reasons to be around you if they’re still interested. They might pop up at your job, hang out at your favorite places, and attend events they know you enjoy. Track how often you see your ex to figure out if they might be trying to run into you. [2]
    • If you and your ex both like the same local coffee shop, they might not be there to see you. However, if your ex was never interested in art before your breakup but shows up at every gallery opening in town, they’re probably coming in the hopes of running into you.
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    [3] If you’re still following them on social media, scroll through their recent postings to see what’s been happening in their lives. Notice if they seem happy or sad . Additionally, see if they appear to have moved on or might be stuck in the past. [4]
    • For instance, a post like, “Really miss the good times I used to have with a certain someone” or "The last few days have been hard" might mean they’re thinking about you. On the other hand, if they’re posting pics of them with a new partner, they might be moving on.

    Tip: If looking at your ex’s social media makes you feel sad or jealous, unfollow them and ignore this suggestion. Your feelings are super important, so don’t do something that makes you unhappy.

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    [5] It’s normal for your ex to occasionally react to some of your posts. However, your ex might still be interested if they like most of your posts or go back to like old posts. Track how often they interact with your social media account to see if they still care about you. [6]
    • For instance, it might not mean anything if your ex likes a post about you getting a new car. However, they probably still like you if they like every photo you post of yourself.
    • If your ex likes old photos of the two of you together, it’s very likely that they still like you.
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    When you run into your ex, watch their reaction to see if it’s positive, neutral, or negative. Look at their facial expressions and read their body language to help you figure out how they feel. [7]
    • For instance, let’s say your ex smiles really big and comes over to say, “Hi! How’s it going?” This might be a sign they still like you.
    • If they give you a slight wave and say, “Oh, hey,” they might feel neutral toward you. In this case, they might just want to be friends.
    • On the other hand, they might have moved on if they frown, move away, or fold their arms in front of their body.
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    When you like someone, it’s really hard to resist casually touching them. In fact, this is a common way to flirt! Consider if your ex touches you on your arm, shoulder, back, or legs. This could be a sign that they like you. [8]
    • You might also notice that your ex goes in for a hug whenever you run into each other or after you have a conversation. This might mean they like you.

    Tip: If the touching makes you uncomfortable, tell them to stop . Say, “Don’t touch me like that anymore. Please respect my personal space."

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    See if they’re willing to do you a favor . Your ex might be willing to help you out with something if they’re still into you. Tell them about a problem that you’re having and see if they volunteer to help. Alternatively, ask them to help you with something you know they’re good at doing. If they say yes, they might still like you. [9]
    • For example, ask them to help you with a homework assignment or ask them to help you host a party for a mutual friend.
    • If your ex is super friendly and helpful, they might do you a favor even if they don’t like you.
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    Pay attention if they’re hanging onto some of your things . After a relationship ends, you’re generally expected to return your ex’s things back to them. If your ex keeps some of your stuff, it might be a sign they still like you. Check to see if you got all of your things back from them. [10]
    • For instance, your ex might keep 1 of your shirts so they can smell your scent. Similarly, they might keep a book you lent them that was important to you.
    • If the item is expensive, your ex might just be trying to keep it for its value. As an example, don’t let them keep your headphones.
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    Check your ex's social media accounts to see if they're posting about a new relationship or if they've posted photos with a new partner. Additionally, ask your mutual friends if they know if there's someone new in their life. If they're dating someone else, they're probably focused on the future of their new relationship. [11]
    • In some cases, your ex might post photos of themself with someone else to make you jealous. However, they've likely moved on if they're in an official relationship.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Examining Your Communications

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    [12] Your ex will probably find reasons to contact you if they’re still interested. Check how often they call, text, or talk to you in person. Similarly, consider if they start the conversation back up after it has ended. This might be a sign they like you. [13]
    • For example, your ex might text you to ask questions they probably know the answer to. They might ask, “Do we have an assignment due tomorrow?” or “Do you know if Candy’s party is still on for Saturday?”

    Tip: Some of their communications may be negative. For instance, they might send you an angry text about the breakup or something they saw on your social media. This might be a sign that they're still thinking about you or that they're jealous.

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    If they start telling happy stories about your relationship, it means they’re thinking about good times. This is a sign that they might still like you. Listen when your ex starts talking about old times to see if they’re focusing on the good parts of your relationship. [14]
    • They might say, “Remember that time we had a candlelight picnic under the stars? That was such a good night,” or “I still remember how much we laughed at the improv theater. We had such good times together.”
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    When you’re feeling upset, it’s natural for someone who cares about you to check in on you and make sure that you’re okay . Notice if your ex always seems to be there for you when you need someone. Additionally, consider if they’re willing to listen to you talk about your problems. [15]
    • For example, let’s say you post on social media that your relative is in the hospital. Your ex might immediately text, “Are you okay?”
    • Keep in mind that this might not mean they like you romantically. They might continue to check up on you because they still care about you as a friend.
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    Typically, you go to someone you trust when you need advice. Consider how often your ex relies on you for advice about their problems . If your ex consistently comes to you, this means they probably still feel close to you. It might even mean they still like you. [16]
    • For example, they might tell you about problems they’ve been having at work or school. Then, they might ask what you think they should do about them.
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    Bringing up their mistakes means that they’re thinking about what they could have done differently during your relationship. This may mean they’re trying to figure out what went wrong and if they can still salvage it . Listen closely if they start talking about what they did wrong, what they could’ve done differently, or how they’ve changed for the better. [17]
    • They might say, “I realize now that I should’ve listened more,” “I really regret talking to that other girl. I’ll never make that mistake again,” or “Since we broke up, I’ve really changed. You made me a better person.”
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Asking Your Friends & Family

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    Ask your friends if they think your ex is still into you. Your friends have a different perspective on your relationship with your ex. They’re likely able to see things you might overlook, making them a great source of advice. Talk to them to find out how they think your ex is feeling about you and get several opinions to help you figure out if your ex might still like you. [18]
    • You might ask, “What did you think about my relationship with my ex?” “Do you think we might get back together?” “Do you think they’ve moved on?” and “Could they still like me?”
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    While there are several probable reasons why your ex might maintain a relationship with your family, this could also be a sign that they haven’t totally moved on. Ask your family members if they’re still in communication with your ex. If they are, ask them if your ex still talks about you, which could be a sign that they still like you. [19]
    • It’s normal for your ex to stay close with your family if you share kids together. They may be talking to your family because it’s important to maintain those healthy relationships for the good of the kids.
    • If your ex had a friendship with a family member before your relationship, they’ll probably stay friends with that person after the breakup. Don’t count these types of relationships when trying to figure out if they still like you.
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    [20] If your ex still likes you, they’re probably looking for reasons to talk about you. This means their friends will probably have heard them talking about you. Check with the mutual friends you share to find out what your ex is saying. [21]
    • Ask, “Does Alex still talk about me?”
    • If you don’t have any mutual friends, you might try reaching out to their friend group. If you’re nervous, get one of your friends to ask one of your ex’s friends instead.

    Warning: When you ask about this, you’ll be bringing your ex up as a topic of conversation. This might make people think that you’re still interested in them.

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  • Question
    What if I want to get back together with her and I know she likes me, but she's too nice to break up with the person she's already with?
    Danielle Husband
    Community Answer
    If she's in a new relationship, it's best to keep your distance until that relationship resolves itself. You'll have a better chance of making things work if she ends that relationship before the two of you start trying to patch things up. If it's meant to be, things will work out.
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  • Question
    If your ex tells you to change and says they've moved on, what should you do?
    Danielle Husband
    Community Answer
    First, it's never okay for someone to demand that you change. When it comes to change, always listen to yourself and do what feels right to you. Second, if they've moved on, it's probably best that you try to move on, as well. At first, it might be hard to look past the feelings you had for this person, and they might feel so perfect for you that you get hung up on them. However, relationships end for a reason, and it's likely that there's someone better for you out there. Spend more time having fun with friends or family so you can start to move on.
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  • Question
    How do I win my boyfriend back without looking really desperate?
    Danielle Husband
    Community Answer
    Show him that you're happy and living your best life. Hang out with friends and family, go do fun stuff, and work towards a goal you have (like trying out for a sports team, winning a tournament, or learning to paint). If there's a chance things will work out between you, he'll see how great you're doing and realize that he might have lost a good partner.
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      Tips

      • Be careful if you have children with your ex. Children sometimes hope their parents will get back together, and the last thing you want to do is get their hopes up and disappoint them. Make sure to be very discreet until you know you’re back together for sure.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • If you're still in contact but not romantically together, focus your efforts on rebuilding a friendship with them. Being friends will help them trust you again and maybe develop stronger feelings for you.
      • Notice anything they're still doing that they did in the relationship. For example, my boyfriend used to act shy around me and did this nervous walk whenever he passed me, and he still does those things.
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      References

      1. ↑ Julia McCurley. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.
      2. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a33876/signs-hes-still-obsessed-with-his-ex/
      3. ↑ Julia McCurley. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.
      4. ↑ https://www.insider.com/subtle-signs-your-ex-wants-you-back-2019-1#they-still-like-and-comment-on-your-social-media-posts-1
      5. ↑ Julia McCurley. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.
      6. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a33876/signs-hes-still-obsessed-with-his-ex/
      7. ↑ https://fremont.edu/how-to-read-body-language-revealing-the-secrets-behind-common-nonverbal-cues/
      8. ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/signs-of-attraction
      9. ↑ https://liveboldandbloom.com/01/relationships/ex-miss-you
      1. ↑ https://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/does-my-ex-boyfriend-still-like-me-how-to-know/
      2. ↑ https://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/does-my-ex-boyfriend-still-like-me-how-to-know/
      3. ↑ Julia McCurley. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.
      4. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a33876/signs-hes-still-obsessed-with-his-ex/
      5. ↑ https://www.insider.com/subtle-signs-your-ex-wants-you-back-2019-1#they-still-like-and-comment-on-your-social-media-posts-1
      6. ↑ https://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/does-my-ex-boyfriend-still-like-me-how-to-know/4/
      7. ↑ https://liveboldandbloom.com/01/relationships/ex-miss-you
      8. ↑ https://www.luvze.com/signs-your-ex-still-loves-you/
      9. ↑ https://www.luvze.com/signs-your-ex-still-loves-you/
      10. ↑ https://www.luvze.com/signs-your-ex-still-loves-you/
      11. ↑ Julia McCurley. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.
      12. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a33876/signs-hes-still-obsessed-with-his-ex/

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To find out if your ex still likes you, see if they keep calling, texting, or messaging you, which shows they’re still into you. Additionally, pay attention to whether they seem to show up wherever you are, since that suggests they’re looking for continued contact. When you are in the same place, notice if they can’t stop looking at you if you’re across the room. Alternatively, if you’re talking to them, pay attention to whether they try to touch your hand or arm periodically. These are both signs that you’re still very much on your ex’s mind! To learn how to handle your ex if you’re still interested in them, too, keep reading!

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        Nov 8, 2016

        "The very tip that showed the behavior of your ex around you, that made me determine what my ex feels for me. Great ..." more
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