How to Avoid the Icks that People Can't Stand

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Avoid making a hot date go cold with off-putting behaviors
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An “ick” is one of those little habits or behaviors that people find unattractive in a date or romantic partner. Icks are normally not dealbreakers, but they can be if they’re offensive or frequent enough. In this article, we’ll cover all of the most common icks—whether you want to know what turns people off or find out more about what to avoid yourself. Keep in mind that many of these are fairly subjective and may even be stereotypical—we just rounded up the most common icks that people report as turn-offs.

Section 1 of 2:

Common Icks

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  1. Few people want to be with someone who doesn’t put in the basic effort to take care of themselves. Things like clogged pores, greasy hair, and body odor give people the ickiest of icks. [1]
    • To avoid this ick, just do the basics! Brush your teeth, take regular showers, wear deodorant, and wear clean, fresh clothes.
    • Fellas, step it up a little by getting some decent cologne and styling your hair . The extra effort helps!
    • Ladies, a lot of guys lose their minds if you smell good, but 1-2 spritzes of that perfume are more than enough. A lot of men report too much perfume as a common ick.
  2. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat service and retail workers since those employees are almost always forced to be nice to everyone. Bad manners or rude language are a major turn-off. People don’t tend to enjoy it when they see others being mean—especially if the other person can’t do anything about it. [2]
    • Being kind and respectful to others is a sign that you’re a generous and empathetic person.
    • A lot of people will try to play the “alpha” in front of new dates, but it's better to be polite and considerate to everyone around you.
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  3. Whether they make a habit of gleeking or they compulsively make weird clicking noises with their tongue, people generally prefer partners whose mouths stay closed when they’re not talking or kissing. This is one of the most common icks out there, so mind your manners with the mouth tics.
  4. A lot of fellas out there tend to try and reinforce their “manliness” by emphasizing their muscles and downplaying their brains. It’s a bad strategy. Women generally like it when a gentleman has a little knowledge under that sports cap, so if you’re a guy reading this, don’t downplay the fact that you’re reading this!
    • The reverse is also true. It’s potentially more true depending on the guy. Society might reinforce the “ditzy blonde” trope in movies and media, but the vast majority of quality men are attracted to thoughtful and intelligent women.
  5. People have pretty good BS meters, and it's not a good look when someone acts like a know-it-all—especially if others can tell that they're full of it. Be honest about your knowledge, skills, and experiences. It’s okay to not be familiar with everything. [3]
    • The same way women and men usually get the ick when you take pride in not knowing things, guys and gals will also get the ick if you pretend to know things you don’t.
    • Being naturally curious and asking questions about things you don’t know is a huge green flag to most people. It signals that you’re tuned in, listening, and honest.
  6. People are attracted to folks who show a little drive and initiative—even if their goals in life aren’t necessarily the most dramatic or extreme. It’s icky if someone doesn’t care about anything, and you can make it a long way in the dating game if you just have something you’re passionate about. [4]
    • Ambition isn’t exclusively a work thing, although it certainly can be. If you’ve got big dreams as it pertains to a degree or a passion in life, you’re ambitious!
    • Don’t overdo it. It’s easy to get lost in the sauce when you’re trying to get ahead at work, but don’t make it your entire personality!
  7. Lying is never a good strategy, it doesn't cultivate healthy, positive relationships, and it’s also a fast way to give a guy or gal the ick. Nobody likes liars—people looking for romantic partners most of all. [5]
  8. Taking care of your nails shows that you care about yourself. Guys, you’re especially likely to give a gal the ick if you chew your nails, pick at your cuticles, or don’t trim your nails. There’s nothing wrong with getting a manicure or pedicure! At the bare minimum, keep your nails neat and clean . [6]
    • A lot of guys have an ick that goes in the opposite direction—paying way too much attention to your nails. There’s nothing wrong with keeping your nails pampered, but guys often aren’t huge fans of whacky acrylic designs or super long claws.
  9. You know what gives people a huge ick? Talking over them. People hate it when someone can’t help but butt in with their own experiences and opinions. [7]
    • For women, the worst version of this often involves mansplaining. If a guy interrupts a girl to explain something to her that she already knows, he’s not going to make it far in the relationship.
  10. Nobody likes it when people don’t seem secure in who they are. It’s a major ick if a man won’t play it cool when his partner goes out for girl’s night, or if a fella isn’t capable of trusting a woman to dress how she wants when going out, and no guy wants to be interrogated when he hangs out with his friend who happens to be a girl. Jealousy is just never a good look on anybody. [8]
  11. Smoking isn’t good for your health, and the odor is absolutely an ick for a lot of people out there. Chewing tobacco has zero fans, either. From the nasty aftertaste to the spitting into a cup, it’s just the least sexy thing a guy can do for a lot of girls. [9]
    • Ladies, you get a pass here because the vast majority of people who chew are male.
    • If you’re into chewing tobacco or smoking, there’s never a better time to quit the nicotine than now!
  12. A double text is when you send someone a message, they don’t respond immediately, and you send another text. Unless you’ve been together for a long time, this can send a new dating prospect the ick. To a lot of people, it kind of reeks of desperation or clinginess. [10]
    • The ick here can become progressively ickier if you add additional text. In other words, a triple text is worse than a double text, and a quadruple text is worse than a triple text, etc.
  13. Loud eating accompanied by mumbly conversation is a bit brutish and annoying. It just says uncivilized . People typically prefer a guy or girl who chews with their mouth closed.
    • Ladies, there is one move that can drive guys nuts in the best way possible. If he ever breaks out a deep-dish pizza or giant chili dog, take one big, aggressive bite and wink at him. It just screams “I’m the best kind of trouble if you play your cards right.”
  14. A messy bedroom is a big red flag for a lot of people. It signals that you don’t take care of yourself when nobody is looking. It’s also just a huge momentum stopper if you go on a hot date, head back to their place, and open the door to reveal a room full of old pizza boxes, dirty sheets, and trash. [11]
    • Make it a habit to clean your room !
    • Ladies, you might spook a guy a bit if you have dozens of stuffed animals. It’s unclear why—we think stuffed animals rock—but it’s an ick for some guys.
  15. If you don’t have good feet and you still wear flip-flops, you wear socks with flip-flops, or you don’t know how to wear flip-flops without making that obnoxious clapping noise when you walk…full blown ick for a lot of people.
    • This is normally a bigger deal for women since guys are notoriously bad at pulling off flip-flips. Still, it doesn’t hurt to pull out heels or sneakers now and then!
  16. If someone comes across a cute cat or a little kid and raises their voice five octaves to sound like a widdle baby , it can trigger the ick in a lot of people. There’s nothing wrong with the baby voice per se, but it sort of shatters a manly man illusion for a lot of gals, and it reminds a lot of guys of a little girl—and that's not what anyone wants.
  17. There’s nothing wrong with being passionate about the local sports team, but a lot of girls just don’t love guys who turn their entire personality into the performance of their team.
    • If a guy freaks out and screams when his sports team loses, it’s not a good vibe.
    • If you’re a gal who enjoys sports, that’s awesome. A lot of guys will like that.
  18. Nothing ties a wardrobe together like styling a nice watch . But, a lot of guys don’t pick attractive watches—or even wear them correctly. And, some women wear watches that are too clunky for their delicate wrists. A good watch sits cleanly on the wrist, fits, looks clean, and doesn’t have a calculator on it. [12]
  19. Clapping when the plane lands or the movie finishes is kind of cheesy to a lot of people out there. Also, clapping when a waiter drops a plate or clapping loudly when someone says something you agree with—garish, loud, and not cute.
    • A lot of girls also don’t like a guy with a super soft golf clap.
  20. Alongside poor choices when it comes to flip-flops, the other big footwear crime people commit is breaking out the water shoes. If you’re at a pool, water park, or beach, just go shoeless—even if you aren’t the biggest fan of your feet. If you’re in a bathing suit and someone finds you attractive, the last thing you want is to distract their view with some clunky, unnecessary footwear. On top of that, water shoes are just kind of a boomer move, and nobody wants to date their dad or mom. [13]
    • If you absolutely need footwear at the beach, go with sandals.
  21. A lot of women will be shocked to learn that a good chunk of guys out there shower like they’re in the 19th century. Some guys don’t use a washcloth or even wash their legs. Some guys don’t use conditioner. Some guys won’t even use body wash. Don’t be one of those people! Shower like the luxurious kings you are, guys. [14]
    • Ladies, a lot of guys get the ick if you go too far in the other direction. If you have 30 products clogging up your bathroom counter, it can come off like you’re a little too into yourself.
  22. For most girls, it’s a huge ick when a guy can’t control his emotions. If a guy throws himself into a furious rage because he got no scoped in Call of Duty , he’s going to come off like a little child. [15]
    • If you can’t handle your emotions when you’re playing a silly game, girls are likely to think you can’t handle your emotions when it matters.
    • You know what might minimize his gaming freakouts, gals? Playing with him! There’s nothing a guy who plays games enjoys more than a girl who games with him.
  23. Men of the world, listen to us on this one—you do not need to live on a strict diet of burgers and beer. You know what’s sexy? Eating a healthy diet and picking the salad over fries now and then. [16]
    • A lot of men have a food ick, too. It’s women who won’t indulge now and then! A girl who won’t eat a burger now and then can come off as way too obsessed with her figure.
  24. You know how Winnie the Pooh’s shirt doesn’t go down over his stomach? Not a good look. If a guy leans back on a couch or in a chair and that little fraction of belly skin suddenly appears, it’s not a sexy vibe for many people.
    • Ladies, you get a pass on this one. You tend to pay a little more attention to how your clothing fits when you sit down.
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Section 2 of 2:

What is an ick?

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  1. You know the sound of nails on a chalkboard? An ick is kind of like that, but specifically in the context of a significant other. Icks are those little quirky behaviors or tics that bother you enough to turn your otherwise wonderful significant other into an unattractive prospect. [17]
    • Icks aren’t normally red flags that are so intense they merit a breakup, but an ick can definitely end a relationship if it’s offensive enough.
    • Icks are completely subjective. What might be a huge ick for one person can be a totally mundane (or even attractive) behavior for another.

Join the Discussion...

How do you overcome or get past the ick?
WikiLemmingFlyer757
45
WikiLemmingFlyer757
OK, I've been flirting with this guy for a month and we just had our first date and Idk what it is but I'm feeling the ick. Not totally sure why?... Read More
WikiCapybaraWatcher684
WikiCapybaraWatcher684
I'd advise you to really think about what gave you the ick and whether it's a minor thing or something that signals you're just not compatible. I... Read More
WikiToadWatcher346
1
WikiToadWatcher346
I feel like I only get the ick when I'm not super attracted to someone. It builds up gradually over time for me as I realize little things he doe... Read More
See all 4 Replies and
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/jan/10/double-texting-why-needy-messages-and-smelling-bad-could-relegate-you-to-the-dating-ick-list
      2. ↑ https://www.bolde.com/seemingly-minor-first-date-red-flags/
      3. ↑ https://www.vox.com/conversations/2017/3/2/14750464/truth-facts-psychology-donald-trump-knowledge-science
      4. ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/women-sniff-out-ambition-in-a-sexual-partner-while-men-eye-up-good-looks-9191693.html
      5. ↑ https://www.denverpost.com/2013/11/20/when-boyfriend-constantly-lies-is-it-possible-to-trust-him/
      6. ↑ https://www.dailyrecord.com/story/life/2016/04/29/friends-husband-bites-nails-take/83695702/
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-to-do-life/202101/interrupting-is-more-harmful-than-you-think
      8. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/unhealthy-relationship-behaviors-series-jealousy/
      9. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK362/
      1. ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/jan/10/double-texting-why-needy-messages-and-smelling-bad-could-relegate-you-to-the-dating-ick-list
      2. ↑ https://stellar.ie/real-talk/having-a-messy-bedroom-a-complete-turn-off-apparently/114761
      3. ↑ https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/study-shows-that-yes-people-who-wear-watches-really-are-superior-humans
      4. ↑ https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/lies-beneath-9-water-shoes-135327795.html?guccounter=1
      5. ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/should-i-shower-every-day
      6. ↑ https://www.tampabay.com/archive/2008/10/06/screaming-or-throwing-things-in-anger-is-unacceptable-behavior/
      7. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/eating-healthy-when-my-partner-doesnt/
      8. ↑ https://www.thecut.com/2020/06/the-ick.html

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