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Helpful advice for kids and adults to overcome fear
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It's a normal and common occurrence to get scared when you’re alone at home, and we understand how you're feeling. Distracting yourself with a fun activity, chatting with a friend, or exercising are just a few simple tricks to get rid of any stress. Keep reading to learn the best and quickest ways to ease your fears when you’re home alone. Plus, we’ll help you understand why you’re feeling afraid in the first place.
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Section 1 of 2:
Ways to Feel Safe while Home Alone
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Do a fun activity to distract yourself. If you're scared to be alone and are caught in a loop of anxious thoughts, do something that you enjoy to take your mind off of it. Having fun and changing your mindset to do an activity that you’re looking forward to can break that anxious cycle and make you feel more comfortable. Some fun activities you could try include: [1] X Research source- Watching a movie or reading a book (as long as they’re not scary)
- Blasting your favorite music and dancing alone
- Playing a video game you’ve been waiting to try
- Doing arts and crafts
- Cuddling with your pets
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Call and chat with a friend or family member. If you don’t want to feel like you’re alone when you’re home, don’t be afraid to pick up the phone and reach out to someone you like talking to. Let them know that you’re feeling a little stressed and just want to have a casual conversation to take your mind off of any fears you have. Just talking with a friend or family member when you’re feeling stressed or anxious can help you feel more relaxed and safe. [2] X Trustworthy Source Health.gov Online collection of health and fitness standards set by the U.S. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion Go to source- If you know you’re going to be home alone later, let a friend or family member know that you may call them if you get scared. That way, they’ll be expecting you if their phone rings.
- Try calling someone you haven't talked to in a while, and use the time to catch up with them.
- If you want to see the other person you’re talking to, try video-calling using FaceTime or Skype instead of chatting on the phone.
- You may hold conversations over text or an instant messenger, but it may be more comforting to hear a friendly voice on the other end of the line.
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Complete a productive task that needs to get done. Rather than letting your fears get the best of you, work toward a goal that you want or need to accomplish. If there are any chores, assignments, or other tasks that you’ve been putting off, channel your energy toward them so you’re not feeling as frightened or anxious about being home alone. [3] X Research source- If you're behind on homework assignments or school projects, completing them while you have some peace and quiet at home may help you concentrate.
- Do some chores you may have been putting off. While washing dirty dishes or organizing your room may have felt like busywork before, it may actually be calming if you’re feeling anxious.
- Get a head start on any personal goals or projects. Now could be a good time to start writing a story idea that’s been bouncing around in your head or building a personal website to showcase the work you’ve done.
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Try exercising to burn away stress and anxiety. When you’re physically active, your body releases endorphins that can help you relieve the fight-or-flight feeling you get when you’re stressed or afraid. When you’re home alone and feeling a little on edge, try getting active with a quick workout and see if you feel more relaxed when you’re finished. [4] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source- Any workout will do, so use any at-home gym equipment you have. You could also do something like push-ups, sit-ups, or running up and down the stairs if you don’t have any workout gear.
- If you feel short of breath, take a quick break to recoup your energy so you don’t overexert yourself.
- Avoid exercises with excessive weights, such as squats or bench presses, since you don’t have someone to spot and assist you if you’re unable to lift them on your own.
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Practice deep breathing. When you’re starting to feel really nervous or on edge when you’re home alone, simply breathing can help release tension and ground you in reality. Doing breathing exercises helps you catch your breath so you don’t hyperventilate or feel anxious. To practice taking slow, deep breaths: [5] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source- Sit up straight, and place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
- Slowly inhale through your nose while you count to 4. Breathe using your diaphragm so that the hand on your chest barely moves and the one on your stomach rises.
- Hold your breath to a count of 7.
- Slowly exhale through your mouth as you count to 8.
- Keep taking deep breaths in and out for about 5 minutes so you feel calm and relaxed when you’re finished.
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Visualize a calming or funny scenario. Rather than letting your imagination run wild and scare you with anxious thoughts while you’re home alone, try to redirect it toward relaxing or funny imagery that lightens the mood. When you fight your fears with visualization , the light, fun, and uplifting thoughts make it a lot easier to stay calm and feel less worried when you’re by yourself. [6] X Research source- Try to remember the funniest moment from your life, or even your favorite movie or TV show so you can laugh away the stress.
- Picture a serene beach or quiet forest where you feel calm and relaxed. Try to visualize all of the sights, smells, and sounds to immerse yourself in the moment.
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Lock the doors and windows. Go through your home, and double-check that all the doors and windows are locked around your home. Just knowing that all of the entrances and windows are secure will make you feel less worried about potential intruders getting inside. [7] X Expert Source Saul Jaeger, MS
Police Captain, Mountain View Police Department Expert Interview. 21 February 2020.- Keep your curtains or blinds closed so you don’t feel afraid of being watched while you’re home alone.
- Only answer or open the door for people that you’re expecting or people that your parents have given permission to have over. If there’s a stranger at the door, don’t open it.
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Memorize phone numbers for emergency contacts and services. Make a list of anyone you may contact in case of a non-threatening emergency, like family members, friends, or neighbors. Then, be sure to memorize the contact info for any emergency services you may need to contact. In the United States, simply dialing 911 will connect you with police, firefighters, or medical assistance. However, it never hurts to have the direct number to the local police station or fire station so you can call emergency services nearby. [8] X Expert Source Saul Jaeger, MS
Police Captain, Mountain View Police Department Expert Interview. 21 February 2020.- Call 1-800-222-1222 for Poison Control in case you accidentally spill or swallow something potentially toxic.
- If you have pets, keep the number of your vet and an emergency 24-hour veterinary office on hand as well.
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Let a neighbor know you'll be home alone. When you know that you’ll be home alone, reach out to one of your neighbors that you trust and tell them your situation. Tell them that you’re feeling a little nervous about being by yourself, and ask if you can contact them in case of an emergency. That way, even if you’re alone inside your home, you have someone nearby who can help out or keep an eye on you in case of trouble.- It may be nice to ask your neighbor to check in with you while you’re home alone, either on the phone or by stopping by.
- If you’re young and don’t know your neighbors very well, you could also have your parents inform your neighbors or some of their friends who live nearby.
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Question anxious thoughts to see if they’re realistic. When you’re feeling afraid or nervous, it’s normal for your mind to play tricks on you and assume the worst is going to happen. Rather than following that train of thought, really ask yourself if what you’re perceiving is actually happening and if the worst-case scenario is something you should really worry about. Question any thoughts you have that seem irrational, and look for logical explanations instead of jumping to conclusions. [9] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source- Example : If you hear a strange noise, take a deep breath and think of potential causes. It could be an AC unit or furnace turning on, a pet knocking something over, or a strong wind blowing against your home.
- Example : If you’re afraid of the dark, try to imagine the worst-case scenario, such as the power going out. Then, brainstorm solutions right away, like keeping a flashlight nearby, so you have a plan of action and feel more prepared.
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Make a plan for emergencies. Being prepared can help you feel safer when you’re at home. Talk to your parents or other members of your household about a game plan in the event something goes wrong and what steps you need to take. Things to consider for your emergency plan include: [10] X Trustworthy Source State of Massachusetts Official website for the State of Massachusetts Go to source- Who to call in case of an emergency
- Where to go if you need to evacuate
- Where to hide in case of a break-in
- How to shelter in place if there are any natural disasters
- Practice safety drills with your family or other members of your household so you feel even more prepared when you’re home alone.
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Section 2 of 2:
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Phobia of burglary or break-ins As you grow up and learn more about the world, you may develop a more prevalent fear of someone getting into your home. Even if you haven’t experienced a break-in or burglary before, it’s a really common fear to develop that may stick with you as you get older. [11] X Research source -
Learned fears from others Learned fears are when other people are scared of something and you develop the same phobia. If you have overprotective family members or people close to you also talk about how and why they’re scared of being home alone, it’s really easy for them to rub off on you. [12] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source -
Past anxiety or trauma If you had a negative experience while you’ve been home alone before, it’s completely normal for you to be afraid of being by yourself when you’re older. When you’re put into a similar experience later in life, you may sense that something feels wrong or dangerous when you’re alone even if there’s nothing to worry about. [13] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source -
OCD or anxiety disorder Someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder or anxiety may have intrusive thoughts about their safety when they’re home alone, and it may cause them to be afraid of something bad happening, like an accident or someone breaking in. Even if you do something to relieve yourself, the compulsions to question your safety may continue coming back. [14] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source- If you have OCD or anxiety that’s difficult to control, consider talking to a doctor to see if there are any medications you can take to help ease your feelings
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I feel safe when I'm home alone?Saul Jaeger is a Police Officer and Captain of the Mountain View, California Police Department (MVPD). Saul has over 17 years of experience as a patrol officer, field training officer, traffic officer, detective, hostage negotiator, and as the traffic unit’s sergeant and Public Information Officer for the MVPD. At the MVPD, in addition to commanding the Field Operations Division, Saul has also led the Communications Center (dispatch) and the Crisis Negotiation Team. He earned an MS in Emergency Services Management from the California State University, Long Beach in 2008 and a BS in Administration of Justice from the University of Phoenix in 2006. He also earned a Corporate Innovation LEAD Certificate from the Stanford University Graduate School of Business in 2018.Make sure that you lock your doors and windows. If someone does knock on the door, know that you don't have to answer the door or let them in.
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References
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/how-to-reduce-anxiety-quickly#how-to-calm-down-now
- ↑ https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/health-conditions/heart-health/manage-stress#take-action-tab
- ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-right-here-right-now/
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/exercise-and-stress/art-20044469
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/phobias-and-irrational-fears.htm
- ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-right-here-right-now/
- ↑ Saul Jaeger, MS. Police Captain, Mountain View Police Department. Expert Interview. 21 February 2020.
- ↑ Saul Jaeger, MS. Police Captain, Mountain View Police Department. Expert Interview. 21 February 2020.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/phobias-and-irrational-fears.htm
- ↑ https://www.mass.gov/info-details/make-a-family-emergency-plan
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/fear-and-anxiety-children
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24757-phobias
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/phobias/causes/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/obssessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd.htm
About This Article
Article Summary
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The easiest way to avoid feeling scared when you’re home alone is to keep yourself busy. Watch a movie, play a videogame, or call your friend and talk to them on the phone. Catch up on your to-do list or do chores around the house. If you do get scared, inhale slowly, hold your breath, and exhale slowly to calm yourself down. Keep reading to learn how you can keep yourself safe when you’re home alone!
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- "As an 11 year old, sometimes my mom wouldn't be able to pick me up from the bus stop, so I would walk home and then I would stay home alone. I remember feeling so scared of someone breaking in so I hid on my couch with all the lights on, but then I found the article and it really helped me, now I can stay in complete dark and not be scared. Thank y'all so much, this was so helpful to me! " ..." more
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"As an 11 year old, sometimes my mom wouldn't be able to pick me up from the bus stop, so I would walk home and then I would stay home alone. I remember feeling so scared of someone breaking in so I hid on my couch with all the lights on, but then I found the article and it really helped me, now I can stay in complete dark and not be scared. Thank y'all so much, this was so helpful to me! "
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