Q&A for How to Stop Talking About Yourself

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  • Question
    Is it bad to talk about yourself in conversations?
    Lynda Jean
    Certified Image Consultant
    Lynda Jean is an Image Consultant and the Owner of Lynda Jean Image Consulting. With over 15 years of experience, Lynda specializes in color and body/style analysis, wardrobe audits, personal shopping, social and professional etiquette, and personal and business branding. She works with clients to enhance their image, self-esteem, behavior, and communication to facilitate their social and career goals. Lynda holds Bachelor degrees in Sociology and Social Work, a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, and a Certified Image Consultant (CIC) certification. She studied Image Consulting at the International Image Institute and the International Academy of Fashion and Technology in Toronto, Canada. Lynda has taught Image Consulting courses at George Brown College in Toronto, Canada. She is the co-author of the book, “Business Success With Ease,” where she shares her knowledge about, ‘The Power of Professional Etiquette.’
    Certified Image Consultant
    Expert Answer
    As long as you're balancing it with talking about the other person, it's okay. A good rule of thumb is to try to listen more than you speak. That way, you can ask the other person follow-up questions that keep them engaged.
  • Question
    How can I control my inflated ego?
    Community Answer
    Well, the fact that you admit you have a problem is a good sign. If you find yourself bragging, stop and remember that bragging might make you look worse. The solution isn't to stop talking about your accomplishments entirely, but focus on listening more than talking, and hey, remember that everyone knows you're awesome - you don't have to tell them.
  • Question
    I overcompensate by talking to people so I don't seem boring. Will this advice work for me too?
    Community Answer
    Being a good listener requires training, conditioning, practice, patience, and discipline. This advice will work for you!
  • Question
    I always get told from my friends at dance class that I show them up. How can I stop that?
    Community Answer
    You should ask them why they think you embarrass them, and try to work it out together.
  • Question
    What can I do if I brag too much, and half of what I say is not even true? I talk just to fill the silence.
    Community Answer
    Try asking the other person in the conversation questions, or talk about subjects you both may be interested in. If you don't know any, why not ask? Though, if you can sense someone is reluctant and does not like talking about themselves, then talk about yourself, but be sure to tell them every time you say something incorrect. This may not seem like a good idea, but after confronting them about your untrue bragging it, will make you remember next time, as it is not always a nice situation to be in.
  • Question
    I enjoy hearing about exciting experiences a person I've just met may have had, but too often I'll try to get the ball rolling by telling them things I've done, which feels like I'm bragging. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    You are bragging, though your motives may be innocent enough. Try to focus on the other person, really make an effort to listen and ask questions about them! There's nothing wrong with sharing modestly about what you've done in life, as long as you're conscious about not dominating and quickly turn the conversation over to the other person.
  • Question
    How do I read without talking to others?
    Aestaetics
    Community Answer
    Focus on the book at hand, and get away from others so you aren't tempted to talk.
  • Question
    I made a great friend and we enjoy hanging out with each other, but it's difficult to stop saying "I". How can one start an interesting conversation without using the word?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Try not to worry too much about using personal pronouns. Focus on the friendship and the fun you're having together. Ask a few questions and keep your mouth shut as you listen to their answer, remember a few things. If they mention their sister was ill, for example, ask how she is a few days later. Consider also that they became friends when you talked a lot about yourself, so they might also like that aspect. But you're right, we should all strive not to talk too much about ourselves.
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