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It can be stressful if you're not sure whether someone fancies you or not. While some people are very forward about it, most will keep hints of their affection subtle. Everyone wants to save themselves from potentially being hurt, but this can make it tricky if you're not sure how to read the messages you're getting. Some people are harder to figure out than others when it comes to this kind of attraction, but with a little observation, you'll hopefully come closer to having an answer for yourself.
Steps
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Keep an eye out for eye contact. Eye contact is one of the most powerful things in all of body language. Someone can use their eyes to communicate a lot of things. If someone's making eyes at you, it could mean he's interested in you in some way. If you see a longer pattern of eye contact, there's a chance he fancies you; if you notice his eyes are dilated too, then that's a sign that he likes what he sees.
- You might try catching him looking at you. [1] X Research source It's natural for someone to look in the direction of his crush, especially when he thinks no one is watching. If you're in the same room and you're not talking yet, look over occasionally to see if he's making eyes at you. If he's shy, he'll probably avert his gaze. If he's confident, he'll usually try to hold eye contact with you.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1507 wikiHow readers, and 71% agreed that dilating pupils during eye contact is the hardest signal to pick up on when you’re figuring out whether or not someone is into you. [Take Poll] So if you’re struggling to read that body language cue, you’re not alone!
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See if your crush smiles at you. Like eye contact, smiling can say a ton without someone needing to speak a word. [2] X Expert Source Cher Gopman
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. Where eye contact usually just means interest, a smile is usually given to show warmth and affection. Keep an eye out if he smiles at you when the two of you are around each other.- If you want to test it, try making eye contact with him. If he smiles back at you, it's a good sign he's interested.
- Some people are very shy and will feel too embarrassed to smile at someone, especially if it's someone they're attracted to.
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Notice any affectionate touching. Light touching is often a clear form of flirting. [3] X Expert Source Cher Gopman
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. This includes a light touch of the arm or waist, or even an extended hug. While friends may already touch often, there's an added coyness when the touching is meant as flirting.- Better still, you can try to touch your crush lightly and see how he reacts. If he seems to like it or feel embarrassed, it's a potential sign he's into you.
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Watch if he tries to make himself look good around you. [4] X Research source Body language is the main unconscious way we show attraction for other people. Whether they mean to or not, people will shift their body language to show how they feel. If you run into your crush suddenly, try to see if he changes anything quickly about his body language. This might show that he's specifically interested in you.
- Men and women use different types of body language to show attraction. In the case of men, they often try to make themselves look as big and confident as possible. This includes pumping out the chest and putting one's hands on his waist. [5] X Research source
- Women show attraction in more sensual ways. Smiling, hair twirling and coyness might suddenly start up if you end up running into your crush.
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Ask yourself if he goes out of his way to be near you. A natural urge when you fancy someone is the desire to be around them as much as you can. Whether you go to work or school together, or have met in a more casual setting, someone who is attracted to you will often make very obvious attempts to be around you, even if he thinks he's being sneaky about it.
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Open up the possibility to talk about personal subjects. If you're on a regular speaking basis with the person you're wondering about, a conversation will offer lots of opportunities to figure out what he feels towards you. One thing that people who are interested in one another do is often make the conversations more intense, at least moreso than you would find in a casual talk. Personal information, secret fears and painful experiences could come up in a conversation where people are interested in one another. Bring the conversation to more of these intimate subjects and see how he responds. If he seem interested in making the conversation intimate, it's a sign that he's interested in you.
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Flirt. If you're interested in someone who isn't giving off the right signals, you should try flirting with him. Flirting includes a wide range of behaviour that is meant to show you are attracted to someone. If you are interested, chances are you're already showing some of the signs without knowing it. Smiling in his direction, holding (or averting) eye contact, laughing, compliments and gentle teasing all count as flirting.
- If your crush responds to the flirting with flirtation of her own, it is a probable sign that he is interested.
- Of course, if your crush is already flirting towards you, this is an even clearer sign of attraction. Keep your ear out for gentle teasing and compliments towards you, especially when those compliments are geared towards things that someone would normally be attracted to, such as your looks or charm.
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Tell jokes and gauge how he reacts. [6] X Research source Laughter and humour is one of the more casual ways a person can express interest in someone. If you are the sort of person who likes to be funny, try to gauge how the person you're curious about reacts to your jokes. Someone who fancies you will laugh a lot more at your humour than if he wasn't interested at all. As a bonus, humour is an attractive quality, and even if someone isn't interested in you yet, knowing how to make you laugh will attract potential partners fast.
- On the other hand, a total lack of laughter can suggest the person is not interested in you at all. [7] X Research source Beware of those who don't laugh.
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Time how quickly he replies to your messages. In the age of online communication, the way someone acts towards you online can say a ton about the way he feels towards you. If you two are talking via social media or talking over text, you should notice how quickly he gets back to you in a conversation. If it's relatively fast, it may be good sign that he fancies you in a more-than-friendly way. Keep in mind that some people may be very busy on the computer and won't get back to you as fast as you think. Depending on how fast your crush is making other posts online, you should be able to figure out how busy he is at the moment.
- He might be playing hard to get if he takes a long time to reply to your texts. [8]
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Expert Source
Cher Gopman
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
- He might be playing hard to get if he takes a long time to reply to your texts. [8]
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Expert Source
Cher Gopman
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Ask your crush directly. At last, when all other routes are exhausted, there is always the option of asking someone directly how he feels about you. In many cases, a guy or girl will make their feelings known in other ways, making a direct question unnecessary. However, if you're tired of waiting and need confirmation, it's a straightforward and simple solution.
- It doesn't need to be elaborate. Just ask something as simple as: "I get the feeling you're attracted to me. Am I right in thinking that?"
- If someone is easily embarrassed or shy, you might not get a straight answer out of them at first. This is why it's better to ask it in the middle of a conversation rather than going straight up to the person and asking abruptly about it.
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Make sure he's not interested in someone else. Although single people may find themselves attracted to multiple prospects at once, finding out whether someone has a crush already can be a big indicator as to his availability. Find out through friends, or keep an eye out for the way he behaves towards people of the opposite sex.
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Get a friend's opinion. Everyone is always observing other people's behaviour, whether they mean to or not. If any of your friends know your crush, you should ask them what they think about any potential attraction your crush may have towards you. Even if you are very observant, another person will see things from a different perspective, and may have something to add.
- A mutual friend is a great help if you're not sure about the person in question. A friend can offer her opinion on whether she thinks the two of you would be a good match or not.
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Ask his friends if they have heard anything. [9] X Research source If someone fancies someone, there's a chance that it will come up in a casual conversation between friends. If you want a more definite answer but aren't ready to ask your crush directly yet, you should ask his friends what he thinks of you. Sometimes, they may tell you word-for-word what he's said about you. Other times, they might simply give a theory. In either case, it may give you a better idea if a particular someone fancies you or not.
- Be warned that some friends may tell your crush that you asked in the first place. If you're trying to keep your curiosity a secret for the time being, this may be a risk.
- Generally speaking, girls tend to talk more about their attractions and love lives than guys. However, the same advice can apply to both genders.
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Find out what his friends think of you. [10] X Research source Groups of friends tend to have a herd mentality in some cases. In other words, what your crush's friends think of you will influence what he thinks of you. If his circle of friends is really into you, it's easier to imagine him liking you as well. On the other hand, a circle of friends that doesn't seem to care about you might suggest he feels the same way they do.
- It is not recommended to ask anyone directly what they think of you. Many people would rather lie and be polite than risk an uncomfortable interaction. Instead, you should try to ascertain how they feel by observing their reactions to you. Are they making any effort to include you in the conversation? Are they actively listening to the things you're saying, or asking you sincere questions about yourself? It can be difficult to know what someone is really thinking if you have just met them, but you can usually get a general idea by looking at the behaviour of a few friends.
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Pay attention to the way he treats you around his friends. Even if there are often friendships between genders, someone will undoubtedly treat their crush differently around his friends than he would with a regular friend. If he seems really interested to introduce you to friends, it's may be a sign that he's testing the limits for a potential relationship.
- If he seems to ignore you around his friends, it is not a good sign. Although some people will feel nervous about showing affection around their platonic friends, there should always be a basic level of respect at work.
- If he's trying to include you in the conversation or activity and has no problem showing affection in front of his friends, it may be a sign that he has a potential interest in you for a relationship.
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How Do You Tell If Someone Likes You?
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Tips
- Men and women express attraction differently. The way you go about finding out if someone is attracted will vary based on whether it's a boy or a girl you're after. [11] X Research sourceThanks
- Consider the personality of the person you're interested in. If he's shy for example, he's going to show his attraction in subtler ways than if he's normally filled with confidence.Thanks
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Warnings
- Be prepared for the possibility of rejection. Even if your crush is showing some of the indications of being into you, there's no surefire promise that he actually is. In the end, you won't know for sure until you have certain proof.Thanks
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References
- ↑ http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/does-he-like-me/
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
- ↑ http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/relationship-advice-and-romance/7472931/Body-language-how-to-tell-if-someone-likes-you.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199303/the-biology-attraction
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-bottom-line/201105/want-know-if-someone-likes-you
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-bottom-line/201105/want-know-if-someone-likes-you
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
- ↑ http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/does-he-like-me
About This Article
Article Summary
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To tell if someone fancies you, watch their body language when they're around you. For example, see if the person makes eye contact with you frequently. If they hold eye contact for a long time or if you catch them gazing at you when you aren’t looking, there’s a chance that they fancy you. Another sign that someone fancies you is if they try to make themselves look good when they’re around you. Guys might try to make themselves look big and confident by pumping out their chests, while girls may smile coyly and twist their hair. You can also tell if someone fancies you based on how they act when you talk. Time how quickly they reply to your messages, as if it’s relatively fast, there’s the chance they like you. It can also be helpful to check how they respond to your humor. If they find your jokes funny and laugh a lot when you’re around, this could mean they fancy you. For more advice on telling if someone fancies you, like how to find out from your friends, read on!
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