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Being publicly open about being autistic can be a big decision. You're choosing to be authentic, to embrace yourself even if others disapprove, and show by example that it is possible to be happy and autistic at the same time.
Steps
Becoming openly autistic is a big decision. It's important to think carefully about it before you start telling people.
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1Work on accepting yourself . If you aren't okay with being autistic, then you may not feel ready for being openly autistic. Get comfortable with yourself and allow yourself to be different. Take small steps if need be, and reach out for support. You may want to get involved in the autistic community for many reasons, including to realize that you are not alone.
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2Recognize the benefits of being publicly autistic. Disclosing your autism will allow people to understand you better, and allow you to focus on things besides appearing non-autistic. Here are some things to consider:
- Mental health: "Passing" as non-autistic can be incredibly draining. Autistic people who spend less energy on hiding their autistic traits have better mental health. [1] X Research source [2] X Research source [3] X Research source
- Being understood: People may be more accepting of your differences if they know that they're caused by autism and not by negative personality traits. They may be more patient if you do something odd, since they might be more likely to assume you meant no harm.
- Explaining yourself: People may be more accommodating with you if they know that your struggles or social slip-ups are related to a disability and not a lack of effort. They may end up being more patient and helpful when you need it.
- Teaching others: Getting to know you as an autistic person can help others gain a better understanding of autism, including breaking negative stereotypes.
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3Recognize the drawbacks of others knowing you are autistic. In an ideal world, people could be themselves without anyone making a fuss over it. Unfortunately, this is not an ideal world, and some people may be unfriendly or rude. You never need to listen to those who speak this way, but you may still find it upsetting.
- Discrimination: Ignorant people may judge you based on your diagnosis or your autistic traits. Some may decide to exclude you or be rude to you.
- Stereotypes: People's opinion of you may change. They may apply negative stereotypes or treat you like a child.
- Explaining yourself: Some people may try to argue with you about what autism is or whether you are "truly" autistic (even if you have a paper diagnosis!).
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4Consider how permanent your decision is. The way you feel now may be different from the way you feel in 15 years. If you are young, you may wish to avoid identifying yourself as an autistic person in the media, in case you decide in the future that you don't want employers to know.
- Once something is on the internet, it is on the internet forever. If you want to write extensively about autism, consider using a screen name.
- For example, your future employer will not know if you wore a cute autism shirt in college. They will know if you published an essay on autism or were interviewed by a newspaper at an autism acceptance event. Whether you'd like that is up to you.
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5Recognize that it isn't black-and-white. It's a little more nuanced than people thinking you're autistic vs. thinking you're not. You can disclose that you are disabled or that you have different needs without saying that you're autistic. What you choose is up to you and your comfort zone.
- "I'm a little quirky, and I have some unusual needs."
- "I have a disability that causes _____."
- "I have a developmental disability."
- "I'm autistic."
Tip: You can always start small with someone and then disclose more as you get more comfortable with them. When in doubt, stay a little more private. You can always say more later.
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1Prepare a few scripts to explain your autism . Autism is a highly stigmatized disability, so be prepared to bust myths and inaccuracies as well as explaining the details. Scripting and practicing your responses can make it easier.
- "Autism is a common but misunderstood social and developmental disability. I have difficulty understanding people sometimes, sensitive ears, and unusual body language. On the bright side, I'm really good at code."
- "Being autistic comes with good, bad, and neutral parts. My body language is a little different, and I'll be really good at some things and need extra help with others."
- "There are a lot of myths about autism."
- "Hollywood stereotypes autism as much as it stereotypes jocks and nerds. Autism Speaks isn't known for being truthful either. There's a lot of misinformation, so a good deal of the things you may have heard about autism might be false."
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2Use a friendly and matter-of-fact tone when speaking about autism. You can help set the tone of how others view your autism. If you sound confident and okay with it, then they will probably feel okay with it too.
- Use open body language: look at them, wear a friendly expression, and use a tone similar to if you were explaining that you have an awesome brother or a degree in engineering.
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3Don't hide your autistic traits in public. If you want to stim, then stim . If you speak with a disability accent sometimes, don't let it stop you from talking. Let yourself be yourself. There is nothing wrong with being disabled in public.
- Use the body language that is comfortable to you. You don't have to sit perfectly still or make eye contact if it feels unnatural to you.
- Obviously, not all stims are suitable in public. Don't use stims that invade someone's personal space (e.g. playing with their hair without permission), and choose non-distracting stims when people are focusing.
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4Explain your differences instead of hiding them. Some people aren't used to autistic body language —so fix this by giving a quick explanation.
- "Eye contact feels uncomfortable and distracting to me. I usually look at people's mouths or shirts so I can focus."
- "My listening body language looks a little different from others'. If I'm looking around, fidgeting, or wiggling in my chair, that's just how I pay attention."
- "I'm autistic, and flapping my hands is one of the ways I express happiness."
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5Try wearing shirts or outfits with an autism-related message. This is an easy way to tell the world that you are autistic and you don't care who knows it. You might choose a shirt with a message about autism or neurodiversity, or a logo of an organization you like. Rainbow jewelry is also an option.
- The neurodiversity symbol (a rainbow infinity sign), [4] X Research source red for #RedInstead (formerly #WalkInRed), [5] X Research source and rainbows in general are examples of things to wear.
- The puzzle piece [6] X Research source and "light it up blue" [7] X Research source have derogatory connotations, because they are associated with Autism Speaks and messages of fear and pity. [8] X Research source [9] X Trustworthy Source Austistic Self Advocacy Network Nonprofit organization run by and for individuals on the autism spectrum that empowers autistic people through education and public advocacy Go to source [10] X Research source
- If part of the sale is being donated, make sure that the charity is helpful and not harmful. Some charities increase stigma instead of fighting it.
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Being autistic in public can be difficult. Sometimes your symptoms will pose challenges, and sometimes people aren't nice. Take good care of yourself.
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1Accept differences in yourself and others. Trying to fit in will only make you feel more alone. Let yourself be unique, and celebrate what makes others unique too.
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2Look after your health. Staying healthy is important for everyone, and it is especially important for autistic people, who are at higher risk for stress and anxiety. If your body is healthy, you will feel less stressed. Eat fruits and vegetables, take vitamins, sleep for at least 8 hours, and find ways to get exercise.
- Exercise can include taking a walk with a friend, biking, rollerblading, stimming, swinging, hiking, and playing with kids. Exercise can be fun!
- When eating, try to fill at least 1/3 of your plate with fruits and vegetables.
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3Give yourself plenty of time to relax and recharge. Life can be stressful for autistic people (and in general!), so it's important to look after your emotional health. Spend time with loved ones and/or your special interest each day.
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4Remember that you are valuable. People with disabilities have skills and love to share with the world. You are lovable and unique, and you have strengths that matter.
- Think about a disabled friend. Would you talk to them the way you talk to yourself? Treat yourself like a friend, and don't tell yourself things that you wouldn't say to a friend.
- Think about your strengths. What are you good at? How do you help others? Think about strengths related to autism (pattern recognition, focus, special interests) and strengths unique to you.
- Volunteer. Visit a soup kitchen, work at an autism acceptance event, or edit articles about autism or your special interest on wikiHow. Knowing that you help others can help you feel better about yourself.
- Talk to someone. If you feel sad about yourself, tell a loved one, a doctor, or a therapist. Talking can help you feel better, and if you have an illness like depression, it is the first step to recovery.
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5Make autistic friends. Look for autism social clubs, advocacy groups, or online spaces. Autistic friends can help you remember that it's okay to be yourself, share tips, and offer support.
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6Surround yourself with accepting and supportive people. Focus on the positive relationships in your life: loving family members, great friends, encouraging mentors, and fellow autistic people. Don't waste time on people who bring you down. Reach out to the people who make you happy.
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Tips
- Rainbows are also associated with LGBT+ people. If you are LGBT+ too, then rainbow clothes can do double duty. If you are not, be prepared to explain, just in case someone gets confused.Thanks
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Warnings
- Avoid sources of negative and dehumanizing information, such as Autism Speaks . If someone wants to go to those websites for information, gently steer them away.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s13229-018-0226-4
- ↑ https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-018-03878-x
- ↑ https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-017-3342-7
- ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurodiversity
- ↑ https://www.themarysue.com/autism-awareness-month/
- ↑ https://autisticalex.wordpress.com/2014/04/12/why-you-need-to-stop-using-the-puzzle-piece-to-represent-autistic-people/
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle-sutton/i-will-not-light-it-up-blue_b_5076224.html
- ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/emilywillingham/2013/11/13/why-autism-speaks-doesnt-speak-for-me/
- ↑ http://autisticadvocacy.org/2014/01/2013-joint-letter-to-the-sponsors-of-autism-speaks/
- ↑ http://www.bustle.com/articles/73874-actuallyautistic-and-walkinred-seek-to-allow-autism-to-speak-for-itself-this-world-autism-awareness-day
- http://musingsofanaspie.com/2013/10/24/the-myth-of-passing/
- http://www.autistichoya.com/2012/10/the-politics-of-coming-out.html
- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-elk/coming-out-of-the-closet_b_392284.html
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