Daddy Issues and How They Affect Men

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Spotting and coping with a Father Complex
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Women aren’t the only ones who deal with “daddy issues”—men can struggle with them too. Daddy issues, clinically known as a Father Complex, are when a child develops emotional and relationship problems in adulthood from an absent or uninvolved father. This can manifest in many different ways in men. Keep reading to learn what daddy issues are, how they develop, and how they might appear in men.

Things You Should Know

  • Daddy issues in a man can look like clingy behavior, a constant need for reassurance, and a fear of abandonment.
  • Daddy issues develop when a child doesn’t have a supportive or loving father growing up.
  • If you're a man with daddy issues, consider talking to a therapist. Journaling and practicing self-care can also help.
Section 1 of 5:

Can men have daddy issues?

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  1. Daddy issues are issues that arise in those with an absent father. These types of issues can happen to women and men who grow up without a father or have a complicated or poor relationship with their father. While everyone’s daddy issues are unique, these individuals all have one thing in common: they haven’t received love or support from their fathers. [1] This can drastically impact their psychological well-being and ability to connect with others, leading them to make bad relationship choices in adulthood. [2]
    • Society typically associates daddy issues with primarily women; however, men can experience this complex just as frequently. [3]
    • “Daddy issues” isn’t a clinical term; however, its meaning derives from the clinical term “Father Complex.” [4] These terms can be used interchangeably.
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Section 2 of 5:

Signs of Daddy Issues in Men

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  1. If a man has daddy issues, he might seek constant affection, support, and validation. He didn’t receive love and support growing up, so he may ask for more of it in romantic and platonic relationships. [5]
  2. 2
    He’s afraid of being alone. Because of the lack of a healthy father figure growing up, he’ll likely have a fear of abandonment. He doesn’t like being alone and is constantly worried that he’ll be abandoned. [6]
    • This is especially relevant in those who’ve had a father leave them abruptly.
  3. 3
    He fears change. More often than not, fathers push their children outside of their comfort zones. He may not have had someone to push him because he didn’t have a healthy relationship with his father growing up. This can lead to a general fear of change. [7]
    • Similarly, he may struggle with change if his father abandoned him early in life, altering the trajectory of his life.
  4. 4
    He struggles with anxiety and/or depression. Those with daddy issues are more prone to anxiety and depression. [8] As a man, he may deal with the lasting effects of having to grow up faster and take on the “man of the house” responsibilities his father left behind or disregarded.
  5. In some instances, a man with daddy issues will be overly ambitious. He might be an extreme risk-taker. This is likely because he never received the admiration or attention from his father growing up. Because of this, he looks for attention and praise wherever he can get it. [9]
    • Alternatively, he may be extremely introverted or cautious, especially if he was put down by his father early in life for being too outgoing or daring.
  6. 6
    He’s insecure. A man with daddy issues may struggle with self-confidence. This can stem from feeling inferior to his father or fearing that he’s the reason for his father’s mistreatment towards him. [10]
  7. A man dealing with daddy issues may be extremely anxious in relationships, which can cause him to be possessive or clingy. He may need to know where his partner is 24/7 and quickly become suspicious, worried, or jealous if he can't get in contact with them. [11]
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Section 3 of 5:

What causes daddy issues?

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  1. Those with daddy issues didn’t receive parental love from their father figures growing up. Because of this, they actively seek out affection or cannot connect with men later in life. Depending on the individual, they may become fearful, anxious, or dismissive in relationships. [12]
    • Fathers who are overindulgent, emotionally unavailable, abusive, dependent, or controlling are the most likely to create daddy issues in their children.
Section 4 of 5:

How to Cope If You’re a Man with Daddy Issues

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  1. Take some time to reflect on how you’re feeling. Diving into the depths of your memory and emotions can be difficult, but it can also be incredibly cathartic. Help heal your daddy issues and feel more sure in yourself by putting your thoughts and emotions on paper . [13]
  2. 2
    Practice self-care. Do things that make you happy and fulfilled every day. Try exploring a new hobby or scheduling time to exercise or meditate. Self-care can help boost your self-esteem, so don’t be afraid to invest in yourself . [14]
  3. 3
    Set healthy boundaries. If you have daddy issues, you may not have had boundaries with your family growing up (especially with your father). As an adult, you now have the power to set your own rules. Don’t be afraid to say “no” and create boundaries for yourself. [15]
  4. One of the best ways to overcome daddy issues is to seek help from a licensed professional. A therapist or counselor can help you work through a Father Complex while identifying triggering factors and providing you with coping skills. [16]
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Section 5 of 5:

How to Support a Man with Daddy Issues

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  1. Rather than rushing him to confront his emotions and complex, give him a shoulder to lean on. Be willing to talk to him when he’s ready, letting him know that you support him no matter what. [17]
    • While supporting him is key, don’t sacrifice your own well-being. If he’s controlling or abusive in any way because of his daddy issues, address it . Setting boundaries for yourself not only protects you, but it also shows him what a healthy relationship is like.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 706 wikiHow readers and 58% agreed that the best way to support a man with daddy issues is to show empathy and be a supportive listener . [Take Poll]

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    My boyfriend uses his daddy issues as an excuse to say he doesn't know how to be a man, because he never had a dad to show him what a true man looks like.
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    He can be a man even without having a father. A real man doesn’t have to be heroic. He just needs to be able to apply common sense in any situation.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://iep.utm.edu/freud-r/
      2. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6415916/
      3. ↑ https://www.perspectivesoftroy.com/2020/10/08/father-complex-the-psychology-behind-daddy-issues/
      4. ↑ https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00797308.1987.11823499
      5. ↑ https://www.allohealth.care/healthfeed/sex-education/guys-with-daddy-issues-in-relationships#google_vignette
      6. ↑ https://www.allohealth.care/healthfeed/sex-education/guys-with-daddy-issues-in-relationships#google_vignette
      7. ↑ https://www.all4kids.org/news/blog/a-fathers-impact-on-child-development/
      8. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9513388/
      9. ↑ https://www.allohealth.care/healthfeed/sex-education/guys-with-daddy-issues-in-relationships#google_vignette
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fathers-daughters/202107/what-are-daddy-issues-and-how-can-you-recognize-them-in-partner
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fathers-daughters/202107/what-are-daddy-issues-and-how-can-you-recognize-them-in-partner
      3. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6415916/
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201804/9-steps-healing-childhood-trauma-adult
      5. ↑ https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health
      6. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/setting-healthy-boundaries-in-relationships.htm
      7. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/attachment-and-adult-relationships.htm
      8. ↑ https://www.allohealth.care/healthfeed/sex-education/guys-with-daddy-issues-in-relationships

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