How to Get Someone Annoying to Stop Talking

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We’ve all been there—trapped in an annoying one-way conversation with someone who can’t figure out that you just want it to end. Fortunately, there are several good ways to get yourself out of this kind of jam. This article lists helpful exit strategies that are effective without being unnecessarily rude to the person who is annoying you.

1

Interrupt them politely.

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    Start subtly with nonverbal cues: make eye contact and open your mouth slightly like you’re ready to say something. If that doesn’t work, raise your index finger to indicate that you’d like them to pause. [1] Next, you can try raising your hand fully, grade-school style, but you might instead go straight to a polite verbal interruption like the following: [2]
    • Requesting their permission to interrupt—“Do you mind if I jump in for a second?”
    • Apologizing as part of your interruption—“Sorry to cut in, but I’d really like to say something here.”
    • Chiming in on something they’ve just said—“Hold up a second, I’d like to add something to what you just said.”
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2

Redirect the conversation.

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    If you think things can be salvaged out of annoying territory, try to move the conversation in a new direction. However, if the conversation is simply too annoying, there’s no way to salvage it, and you just need it to stop, move directly from your polite interruption to one or more of the exit strategies listed in this wikiHow article.
    • Flattery is one of the best strategies for wresting control of a conversation. For example: “Sorry to butt in, but that really interesting story about your dog got me thinking about my old summer job as a dog walker. Let me share a story about that…”
3

End the conversation clearly.

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    Instead of worrying that saying anything is being rude, focus on being direct and honest in the most polite way you can. [3] You have a right to your conversation boundaries, and it’s okay to state them without going to great lengths to explain them. You might say, for example: [4]
    • “Thanks for chatting with me, but now it’s time for me to go do some mingling at this party.”
    • “I don’t mean to be rude, but I have to stop you there and get back to what I was doing. Thanks for understanding.”
    • “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m not really in the mood for a chat right now. Maybe another time. Thanks.”
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4

Set a time limit for them.

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    This strategy lets you lay the groundwork for your polite but honest exit right from the start. Politely give them an honest time limit right as the conversation starts, then hold them to it—be fairly accurate on the time, but don’t stare at your watch or count down the seconds. [5]
    • Right when they start talking, try saying, “Just wanted to let you know that I only have 2 minutes to chat, then I really have to get back to this work that’s on deadline.” When approximately 2 minutes have passed, say something like, “Sorry, but I gotta get back to my work now. Have a nice afternoon.”
5

Make up a realistic excuse.

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    Making up an excuse isn’t the ideal option, but it’s a reasonable alternative if you’re unable or unwilling to tell the person directly that you can’t listen to them. When you go this route, keep your excuse simple, straightforward, and realistic, avoiding unnecessary details. [6]
    • For example, you might say something like this: “I’m sorry, but I really need to return a call to my insurance agent before their office closes for the day. Thanks for understanding.”
    • Or: “This is a bit embarrassing, but I really need to make a visit to the restroom. See you later.”
    • Or: “I promised my mother I’d drop by this afternoon, so I really gotta head out now. Sorry.”
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6

Have a friend rescue you.

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    Agree with your friend before meeting with a known chatterbox that, if one of you gets trapped, the other will swoop in to interrupt politely and rescue them from the conversation. You might choose to come up with a signal—like scratching your head or making eye contact with your pal—or just rely on each of you being observant. [7]
    • For example, your friend might swoop in and say something like this: “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I’d like to introduce Dave to my old friend from high school who’s about to leave. Maybe we’ll catch you later.”
    • Or: “Excuse me—Dave, can I borrow you for a minute? I really need some help figuring out this worksheet.”
7

Limit your positive feedback.

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    It’s a sign of being a good listener if you regularly provide positive feedback—little things like nodding your head and saying “Ahh” or “Hmm.” [8] Unfortunately, this polite habit may encourage the annoying person to just keep on talking even more. Instead, try displaying negative (but not excessively rude) feedback by looking around, scratching your cheek, taking quick peeks at your watch, and so on.
    • You may think that providing no feedback is the way to go—that is, by sitting or standing there stone-faced and withholding both positive and negative feedback. Unfortunately, some people view silence and a lack of physical cues as a sign that you’re deep in thought and really interested.
    • Avoid being directly rude , such as by yawning loudly or staring at your watch.
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8

Ignore annoying strangers.

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    If you’re walking down the street and an annoying person starts chatting at you uninvited, it may be most effective to just ignore them. This works especially well if you can just keep on walking away from them with no problem. If you’re stuck in the same spot with them, though—such as on a bus—you may need to politely but clearly let them know that you’re not interested in chatting. [9]
    • To limit the likelihood of running into this problem on the bus, wear headphones.
    • This is a similar strategy to dealing with verbal abuse (rather than just annoying chit-chat) from strangers. Typically it’s best to ignore them if you can also remove yourself from the situation, but respond clearly to them if you’re “stuck” with them for the time being. [10]
9

Be honest with an annoying friend.

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    Show empathy and use “I” statements to explain the problem. Even the greatest friends have annoying habits, like talking on and on when you don’t want to chat. If it’s a recurring problem, find a time to talk one-on-one about it. Don’t accuse, blame, or belittle them—instead, show empathy and understanding. Use “I” statements to clarify how their behavior affects you. [11]
    • For example: “I realize that this is awkward to bring up, but I struggle to stay attentive and interested when you talk for really long stretches of time, especially when I have a lot of other things going on. I know I can be more open about telling you when I’m not available to listen—can we work on improving our conversation time overall?”
    • This strategy can be useful for co-workers and family members as well.
    • Sometimes, people do things to get attention. In that case, you can tell them that it would be more helpful if they tell you directly what they want. [12]
    EXPERT TIP

    Evan Parks, PsyD

    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Evan Parks is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and an Adjunct Assistant Professor at The Michigan State University College of Human Medicine. With over 25 years of experience, he specializes in helping people manage chronic pain through the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Approach at Mary Free Bed Rehabilitation Hospital. He also has experience working with others on topics ranging from stress management to mental flexibility. Dr. Parks is also the author of Chronic Pain Rehabilitation: Active Pain Management That Helps You Get Back to the Life You Love. Dr.Parks holds a BA in Theology from Cedarville University, an MA in Counseling Psychology from Western Michigan University, and a PsyD in Clinical Psychology from The Forest Institute of Professional Psychology.
    Evan Parks, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist

    Often we deal with problems and problem people through avoidance and control. Instead of this, it is better to tell them about your feelings directly, and stay away from them if things do not change once you communicate.

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10

Avoid them when you can.

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    Don’t turn your life upside-down, but make little changes to avoid them . While it’s important to have some tools ready for getting free of tiresome talkers, avoiding the annoying conversation in the first place is sometimes the best strategy. If you can make a few subtle changes to your routine, go ahead and do so. If avoiding them requires major changes or inconveniences, however, it’s best to confront them directly but thoughtfully. [13]
    • For example, eating lunch at the office a little earlier or later might help you avoid an annoying break room talker. Or, taking a slightly different route between classes at school might steer you clear of a chatty Cathy (or chatty Carl).
11

Let your mind wander.

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    We’ve all experienced having our minds wander while we’re supposed to be listening. Usually this is something you want to work against so that you can pay closer attention, engage with others, and avoid missing out on important information. But it can come in handy when you don’t really need to hear what someone’s saying! [14]
    • For example, if a stranger in the checkout line is going on and on about some topic that is completely irrelevant to you, go ahead and let your imagination transport you somewhere else.
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12

Limit social media contact.

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    A person who talks too much in person may also contact you too much on social media or other tech. You might think you can satisfy their “annoying conversation quota” virtually, but they’ll probably take it as a sign to chat you up even more in person. Instead, politely limit your interactions, much as you do in person.
    • For example, send messages like “I’m sorry, can’t chat right now” or simply ignore their posts from time to time.
    • If the person doesn’t take your polite hints, go ahead and unfollow, mute, or block them on your various social media and communication platforms. [15]

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    Why do people behave annoyingly?
    Evan Parks, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Evan Parks is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and an Adjunct Assistant Professor at The Michigan State University College of Human Medicine. With over 25 years of experience, he specializes in helping people manage chronic pain through the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Approach at Mary Free Bed Rehabilitation Hospital. He also has experience working with others on topics ranging from stress management to mental flexibility. Dr. Parks is also the author of Chronic Pain Rehabilitation: Active Pain Management That Helps You Get Back to the Life You Love. Dr.Parks holds a BA in Theology from Cedarville University, an MA in Counseling Psychology from Western Michigan University, and a PsyD in Clinical Psychology from The Forest Institute of Professional Psychology.
    Evan Parks, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Many times people behave annoyingly. They choose indirect ways to get recognized. They prefer to have negative attention rather than none at all.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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  • Question
    What can you do if someone is talking endlessly on the phone in a loud tone, talking about the same topic over and over AND OVER again?
    Aleesera Taylor
    Community Answer
    Say "Sorry, I have to go. But we can talk later, is that okay with you?" and hang up once they say "yes"
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201204/5-steps-dealing-people-who-talk-too-much
      2. ↑ https://www.inc.com/kat-boogaard/4-ways-to-interrupt-someone-politely.html
      3. ↑ Evan Parks, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 26 October 2021.
      4. ↑ https://hbr.org/2018/04/how-to-develop-empathy-for-someone-who-annoys-you
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/constructive-wallowing/201604/3-essential-ways-protect-your-personal-boundaries
      6. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/end-conversation/
      7. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/end-conversation/
      8. ↑ https://publicrelations.ucmerced.edu/writing-and-editing/internal-communications/listening-and-feedback
      9. ↑ Evan Parks, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 26 October 2021.
      1. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/how-to-deal-with-verbal-abuse
      2. ↑ https://hbr.org/2018/04/how-to-develop-empathy-for-someone-who-annoys-you
      3. ↑ Evan Parks, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 26 October 2021.
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wander-woman/201308/how-deal-annoying-people
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/staying-sane-inside-insanity/202011/in-defense-zoning-out
      6. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/social-media-and-mental-health.htm

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