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Everyone experiences insecurities at times, and your guy is likely no exception. Reminding him how much you value his manly qualities can boost his ego and may spark more intimacy between you. To make him feel like your protector, get his help and tell him you feel safe with him. Additionally, show him how much you desire him and build a healthy relationship with him so he feels respected. However, keep in mind that it’s not your job to cater to your man, so don’t take responsibility for his feelings.
Steps
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Ask him to help you with a task. Your guy will enjoy feeling needed and capable of taking care of you. Choose a task that you know he can accomplish, then tell him you need his help. When he completes the task, thank him for being there to save the day and compliment his skills.
- You might ask, “Can you help me change this lightbulb?” When he changes it, say, “You’re a lifesaver! What would I do without you?”
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Snuggle up next to him while watching a scary movie. Even though your guy knows that the threat isn’t real, he’ll still feel like he’s keeping you safe when you cower against him. Pick a movie that you know will send chills up your spine, then hold onto your guy for protection. [1] X Research source
- Wrap your arms around him and bury your head in his chest. This will trigger his protective instincts.
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Tell him he makes you feel safe. Your guy needs an occasional reminder that you value him and feel like he takes care of you. Give him a hug and compliment his prowess as your big, strong protector. Additionally, remind him that he’s your protector by listing the ways he helps you. [2] X Research source
- You might say, “I love when we’re out together because I feel so safe,” or “I’m so happy I have you with me because I feel protected.”
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Request his advice on a problem you’re having. A good partner wants to be there for you when you need help with something, so turn to your guy when you need advice. Tell him what’s causing your issues and ask for his advice. Even if you don’t take his suggestions, thank him for being there for you in your time of need.
- You might say, “I’m can’t figure out the best route for tomorrow. Will you help me map out my options?”
- Thank him by saying something like, “You always give such great advice! Thanks!”
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Do something special for him so he knows you value him. Your guy wants to feel like he’s a priority to you, so make him feel valued. Cook his favorite meal, surprise him with a special date, or buy him a small gift. This will show him that you’re thinking of him.
- For instance, you might surprise him when he comes home from work with a candle-lit meal and romantic music.
- Alternatively, you might buy him something he’s been eyeing.
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Describe what you love about his body. Everyone has doubts about their body at times, so reassure your guy that he still lights your fire. Tell him he looks great and turns you on, but make sure your compliments are sincere. [3] X Expert Source Louie Felix
Dating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 5 May 2020. Additionally, point out his most manly physical features and compliment them. [4] X Research source- Say something like, “I’m so turned on by your big muscles,” “Your sexy thighs are so distracting,” or “Have I told you how sexy your beard is?”
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Tell him he satisfies you in the bedroom if you’re sexually active. Pleasuring a partner makes many guys feel truly manly. Show him that you’re enjoying your intimate moments by moaning and responding to his touch. Additionally, assure him afterwards that you enjoyed it. [5] X Research source
- You might say, “That was amazing,” or “You’re so good at that.”
Warning: Don’t ever feel pressured to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, no matter what a guy wants. It’s okay to say, “no” at anytime, even if you’ve already started.
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Brag about him to your friends and family. Telling others about his accomplishments and contributions reinforces that you value him. It also boosts his ego by giving him a good reputation. Share with those closest to you when he does something nice for you. Additionally, make a habit of complimenting him in front of others.
- Say things like, “Scott did an amazing job painting the kitchen,” or “I’m so lucky Miguel has such strong muscles.”
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Respect how he defines his manhood. Fortunately, gender stereotypes are becoming a thing of the past, so your guy is free to choose how he wants to express his manhood. Let him decide what behaviors and physical attributes he thinks are “manly,” and appreciate him for who he is. [6] X Research source
- For instance, some guys might feel like a beard makes them look more manly, but others may prefer a clean-shaven look. Similarly, it's okay if your guy wants to take good care of his skin or prefers ballroom dancing over sports.
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Listen to his perspective when you have a disagreement. While you might feel like you’re always right, chances are your guy feels the same way about himself. Don’t worry about winning arguments or getting your way. Instead, communicate with your guy so you both have a chance to speak your mind. Then, find a compromise that works for both of you. [7] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- To show him you’re listening, paraphrase what he said back to him. You might say, “It sounds like you’re worried about the budget,” or “I hear you saying that you need more time to relax.”
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Speak to him with respect – and expect the same from him. Both you and your guy should use kind language when talking to each other. Don’t call each other names, hurl insults, or yell at each other, even if you’re having a disagreement. Instead, stay calm and keep your language civil. [8] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- If you’re having trouble being calm, take a break to give yourself time to let off steam. Say, “I need to step out for a few minutes. Let’s continue this discussion when we've both calmed down.”
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Choose activities that you both enjoy when planning dates. You and your guy likely have different interests. You might be tempted to pressure him into doing things that you like, which is totally normal. However, stick to activities that both of you like as often as possible. This will make him feel respected and helps you both have fun together. [9] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- For instance, let’s say you enjoy romcoms (romantic comedies) and he hates them. When picking a movie, choose a genre you both enjoy, like a summer blockbuster.
Tip: It’s normal for partners to do things for each other sometimes. For instance, your guy might go to a winter lights festival just to make you happy. When he does something for you, re-pay him by participating in one of his interests.
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Spend time with friends and family so he feels like he’s chasing you. It’s common for people to enjoy the chase when they’re dating. If you’re too available, it can make your guy feel like he’s lost the thrill of the hunt. Keep yourself busy by enjoying your time with others. This will give your guy more pleasure when he finally gets time alone with you. [10] X Research source
- For instance, you might make plans with your best friend on Friday so that your Saturday date night is more exciting.
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Nurture your mutual independence so he doesn’t feel restricted. Both you and your guy need space to enjoy your own hobbies and be your own person. Encourage your guy to pursue his interests, and use that time to follow your own goals. This will help your guy feel like a manly man, while you’ll also feel fulfilled and happy. [11] X Research source
- For example, you and your guy might agree to spend 1 weeknight each week and 1 Saturday a month pursuing your personal goals.
- If you have kids, decide how you’ll cover childcare. For instance, you might alternate which nights you have time to yourself.
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- Don’t ignore your own needs to make your guy happy. Relationships are a 2-way street, so both of your needs are important.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-24/edition-11/lure-horror
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/obesely-speaking/201404/7-deadly-mistakes-lonely-women-make
- ↑ Louie Felix. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.
- ↑ https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/6-kinds-of-compliments-men-would-love-to-hear-more-often-jgc/
- ↑ https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/6-kinds-of-compliments-men-would-love-to-hear-more-often-jgc/
- ↑ https://www.psycom.net/depression-in-men/depression-in-men-toxic-masculinity/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
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