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and by wikiHow staff writer, Glenn Carreau
. Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.
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What should you do when you think a lady is attracted to you, but she hasn't told you that directly? Luckily, many subtle signals can indicate you’ve caught a woman’s eye. Study her body language and what she says in conversations to find out if she wants you to make a move! But first, keep reading for a complete guide to all the signs that a woman is sexually attracted to you.
Things You Should Know
- Look for signs of attraction in her body language, like prolonged eye contact, playing with her hair, biting her lip, and frequent physical contact.
- Analyze subtle cues in conversations. This includes a sultry tone of voice, laughing at cheesy jokes, compliments, and flirty comments.
- Study her behavior. If she goes out of her way to see you, texts back quickly and lights up when you enter a room, she's attracted to you.
Steps
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A lady who finds you attractive will check you out repeatedly. Glance over her from time to time. If she likes you back, she’ll already be staring at you more often than not! Study her reaction: if she quickly looks away while smiling or blushes when you catch her staring, it's a surefire sign she's into you. [1] X Research source
- People normally don’t stare at one another for more than a few seconds if they're not having a conversation. A woman who looks at you more than usual probably has feelings for you.
- Try catching her eye seductively when you see her staring and give her a smile so she knows that you like her too.
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Women will hold your gaze longer than usual when they want to flirt. Think about how long she makes eye contact when you talk to her. Does she hold her gaze for more than 5 seconds and rarely break the contact to look away? While it isn't exclusive to romance, frequent eye contact indicates attraction.
- In conversations between friends or acquaintances, holding eye contact for 4 to 5 seconds at a time is normal. Therefore, holding it longer signifies attraction! And what's more, if you notice that her pupils are dilated when she looks at you, that's another possible subtle cue that she finds you attractive.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1507 wikiHow readers, and 71% agreed that dilated pupils during eye contact is the hardest body language signal to pick up on when you’re trying to find out if someone is into you. [Take Poll] So if you notice this, then that means you're picking up on a subtle body language cue that most people miss!
- Sometimes, if she's shy, she might avoid eye contact entirely instead. Study her interactions with other people—does she make regular eye contact with them but not you? That's a sign she has feelings for you.
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She might dress to impress when she wants you to find her attractive. Who doesn't spend a little extra time in front of the mirror before seeing someone they like? Pay attention to her clothes, hair, and makeup. If she's attracted to you, she'll dress up to make herself more noticeable and flaunt her good looks to you at every opportunity. [2] X Research source
- For example, you might notice she's been wearing many low-cut shirts or tighter pants lately where she dressed a little more conservatively before.
- If you hang out with a group of friends, she might make a point to sit near you or walk through your line of vision often, so you notice her new look.
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People who find you attractive will try to stay within your intimacy zone. Observe her position in conversations: does she lean in or slowly drift closer to you? Your “intimacy zone” is the space within 18 inches (46 cm) of your body. Most people stand at least a couple of feet apart while talking, but a woman who is attracted to you will want to be as close as possible. [3] X Research source
- The “personal zone,” which usually applies to friends having a casual conversation, is between 1.5 feet (0.46 m) and 4 feet (1.2 m) apart. If she's closer, she might not think of you as just a friend.
- Study the distance other friends and coworkers stand away from you by comparison. You'll likely notice a major difference between their position and hers.
wikiHow Quiz: Does She Like Me?
How do her friends treat you?
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Biting her lip while watching you is a sign she wants to kiss you. When a woman bites her lip, it's usually a seductive gesture that signals her intentions—namely, that romance is on her mind. Pay attention to her body language: if she bites her lip while looking at you or listening to you, it's an unspoken sign that she's attracted to you. [4] X Research source
- Alternatively, she might lick her lips or part them slightly to show her attraction.
- Lip-biting can also be an unconscious reaction to seeing someone attractive. Even if she's usually shy and probably not doing it to flirt intentionally, she might just like what she sees.
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Ladies toss or twirl their hair to get you to admire it. Analyze her body language, especially when you notice her looking at you. If she's playing with her hair more often than not while she looks at you, it's a strong sign that she's attracted to you. She's likely teasing you and trying to seduce you without directly saying something. [5] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- For example, she might look at you flirtatiously while twirling a lock of hair around her fingers or flip it over her shoulder.
- Women use other subtle hints with their body language , too. She might brush away her hair to expose her neck and tilt her head slightly to send you a quietly seductive signal.
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Physical touch is a strong sign of attraction; it means she can’t resist you! Be mindful of how often she touches you; she'll do it constantly if she's drawn to you. Soft, subtle touches while talking, displays of physical affection, and sitting as close together as possible are all indicators of attraction. [6] X Research source
- For example, a woman who likes you might touch your shoulder or brush her hand against your arm during a conversation.
- She might hug you tightly whenever you say goodbyes to one another.
- She'll go out of her way to sit next to you and might put her head on your shoulder or sit close enough for your thighs to brush together.
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Women make their voices sound sultry when they're attracted to you. Listen to her carefully when she talks to you, and look out for any changes in her tone of voice when you think she's being flirty. Often, women trying to flirt will make their voice sound lower and softer, adopting a sultry tone to get your attention.
- Study the difference between her voice while she chats with a friend and her voice while she talks to you. You might start to notice how much more sensual she sounds when talking to someone she's attracted to.
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A woman who finds you attractive will smile whenever she sees you. Even if she's having a bad day or not feeling particularly bubbly that day, you'll see her face light up when she notices you. She'll suddenly seem extremely enthusiastic and energetic and smile whenever you look at her. Then, the bubbly attitude might disappear if you leave the area. [7] X Research source
- If you notice this, she's not just faking a happy attitude to catch your interest; it's her subconscious way of showing you how much she likes you! You literally brighten up her day just by being there.
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When she likes you, she's also more sensitive to your feelings. Does she suddenly start bringing your favorite coffee order every time you hang out or ask you thoughtful questions about how you're doing? People attracted to you might go out of their way to make sweet gestures and build an emotional bond by getting to know you better over time. [8] X Research source
- For example, if you mention offhandedly that gummy worms are your favorite snack, and she brings you a pack of them a few days later, she's showing you that she likes you.
- If you're having a bad day, she'll be the first to ask if anything is wrong (and whether there's anything she can do to help).
- She might also ask you personal questions about your favorite books, hobbies, or passions in life so that she can learn more about you.
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Women who think you're cute laugh even when the joke isn't funny. Everyone tells dumb jokes sometimes, but luckily, women find humor attractive! Observe her reaction when you make a funny quip or tell a corny joke. Does she laugh enthusiastically, no matter how cheesy the joke was? If so, it means she finds you—and your sense of humor —attractive. [9] X Research source
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She'll offer praise when she wants you to know that she likes you. Have you noticed her say more nice things about you lately? When a woman likes you, she'll compliment everything she finds attractive, from your looks to your personality. Listen to her compliments: if she's sincere, specific, and her delivery sounds flirty, she's likely attracted to you. [10] X Research source
- She might say, "Oh, wow! You look so handsome today. Your shirt really brings out the color of your eyes."
- Another example could be, "Thanks so much for your help building this shelf. I really admire how considerate you are. And crafty—you might have to give me lessons!"
- Compliment her , too. Everyone enjoys getting a little appreciation; be flirty to show her that you like her back.
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Bringing up plans is a subtle hint that she wants to spend time with you. If you haven't asked her out yet, she might drop hints that she'd like to spend one-on-one time together. Listen for signals in conversations, like, "What are you doing this weekend?" When she's trying to score a date, she'll also tell you that she's free—it's her way of letting you know she's available.
- For example, you might hear her say, "Any fun plans this weekend? Mine might be a little boring; I don't have anything going on."
- If she hints that she's available, ask her out ! Follow up with, "If you're free, would you like to grab dinner on Saturday? I'd love to show you this great restaurant near my place."
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If she wants to be with you, she won't wait for you to start a conversation. Consider how often you start conversations with her and how often she does it. Ideally, if the feelings are mutual, you'll both do it often! A woman who likes you will seek you out to chat whenever she can, so it's a positive sign if you find that she initiates conversations regularly. [11] X Research source
- She might also be intentionally seductive, saying things like "Hey, handsome!" or casually mentioning her fantasies and desires.
- She might even come right out and ask if you'll come over to her place later (or vice versa).
- On the other hand, you might notice awkwardness in conversations if she's shy or nervous. She might lose her train of thought easily or clumsily bump into something because she's so distracted by you.
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Texting back fast is a sign that she's anticipating your messages. In the early stages of a mutual crush, texting is a great way to stay in touch and build your bond. If you think she's attracted to you, text her and see how long it takes to get a reply. When she likes you, she'll respond as fast as she can—usually within a few minutes. [12] X Research source
- She'll also write you long texts when she's interested in you, either matching the length of your texts or making hers even longer.
- Remember that it's not always possible to respond immediately, especially during work hours. Look at the overall pattern instead. If her replies are fast more often than not, it's still a good sign!
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Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about attraction, check out our in-depth interview with Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT .
References
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/know-someone-attracted/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/female-body-language/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201403/11-ways-tell-if-your-lover-loves-you
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/female-body-language/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/202009/what-are-the-5-love-languages-definition-and-examples/
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/psychology-of-happiness/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-bottom-line/201105/want-know-if-someone-likes-you
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