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Stop taking on the stress of others as a sensitive or empathic person
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If you find it hard to tell which feelings are yours and which ones are someone else’s, you might be absorbing other people’s emotions. While empathy and feeling what others feel is a natural part of being human, others might find it incredibly difficult to separate themselves, even after they leave an interaction. If that sounds like you, you might be a highly sensitive person (HSP) or an empath. Keep reading to learn what this means, how to stop absorbing others’ energy, and how to embrace your highly sensitive nature.
Best Ways to Avoid Absorbing Others’ Emotions
Journal about your feelings when you’re alone to help you figure out which emotions are yours and which ones aren’t. When interacting with others, visualize a glass wall or bubble between you two to prevent yourself from absorbing their energy. Afterward, do a relaxing activity alone, like meditating or reading a book.
Steps
Section 1 of 5:
Protecting Yourself from Other People’s Emotions
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Set boundaries to prevent yourself from owning others’ emotions. Emotional boundaries can help you maintain healthy, balanced relationships while taking care of your mental health and keeping your identity intact. [1] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source To create healthy boundaries , try to:
- Determine what your needs are and communicate them openly. If you need an hour to recharge after work before talking to anyone, tell your family or partner. [2] X Research source
- Figure out what you won’t compromise on, and be clear about it. You might say “no” to certain activities because of your health, your children, or other valued priorities.
- Plan your responses to difficult situations in advance to stop from relaxing your boundaries. If your coworker always asks you to help them out, you might say “I’m sorry, but I have my own work to complete and I can’t help you right now.”
- Set time limits on visits with people who overwhelm you. If you have a friend who always wants to call you to complain about work, you might say “I am happy to listen, but I only have 10 minutes to talk today.”
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Check in with your feelings and needs. When you’re constantly taking on the emotions of other people, your emotions might get lost in the process. When you’re in your own space away from others, try to ask yourself what feelings you’re having, how you might label them (like “anger” or “sadness”), and when you became aware of them. [3] X Research source
- Journaling can be a great way to describe your thoughts and feelings in a space where others can’t interfere.
- Pay attention to the places where you absorb others’ emotions most often, like in crowds, at work, or at a party, and practice checking in with your feelings in those situations.
- Once you know how you feel when you’re away from others, you can better identify when you’re picking up on someone else’s energy.
- When you get into a situation where you’re overwhelmed with emotions, check in with your feelings and ask yourself if they’re yours or someone else’s.
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Visualize a bubble or glass wall between yourself and other people. Highly sensitive people tend to be emotional sponges for all kinds of energy, both positive and negative. To stay centered in social situations, try to visualize a bubble, a glass wall, or a circle of white light around you, separating your thoughts and feelings from other people’s. [4] X Research source
- If you’re around toxic people or energy vampires, you can also visualize a black jaguar encircling and protecting you.
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Practice mindfulness and grounding techniques. You might take deep breaths , visualize a place where you feel calm like a beach or a quiet bookstore, or imagine “turning the volume down” on your emotions. [5] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- Visualize negativity as a gray fog lifting from your body, and positivity as a golden light entering your mind.
- Try using yoga to practice breathing, lower your stress hormones, and reduce emotional reactivity when dealing with stressful situations. [6] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source
- Try a somatosensory technique like wiggling your toes or feeling the texture of an object to bring you back to reality when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
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Give yourself physical space when you’re feeling overstimulated. Empaths and highly sensitive people don’t just pick up on the energy of other people, but the entire space. [7] X Research source If you’re feeling suffocated while in public, try to move to a quiet, clean location where you don’t feel as overstimulated. [8] X Research source
- If you’re unable to change locations, try to make yourself feel more comfortable. If you’re at a restaurant, sit at a table with your back against the wall so you can ground yourself better.
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Create a ritual to cleanse yourself of energy you may have picked up. Performing a simple ritual after a stressful social situation might help reduce your anxiety, increase your confidence, and alleviate any negative emotions. [9] X Research source For example, you may clean your house after a guest leaves to “cleanse” it of their energy and emotions.
- Other rituals might be taking a long bath after being in a crowd, putting on different clothes after work, or imagining yourself “shutting out” others’ emotions when you close your front door.
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Carve out your own space and do activities that relax you. Taking time to unwind and practice self-care techniques that make you feel rejuvenated can be difficult if you live in a space with others. Find a place you associate with peace, like your bedroom or a backyard, and ask others to leave you to relax for at least 15 minutes. [10] X Research source
- Activities might include reading a book, meditating , doing a hobby you enjoy, taking a walk, listening to music, laying in a hammock, or sitting quietly.
- Alone time not only allows you to rest and unwind, but it can also improve your concentration, increase your productivity, and provide time to think deeply and creatively. [11] X Research source
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Spend time in nature when taking a break from social interactions. Spending time outdoors can increase your happiness, well-being, positive social interactions, and a sense of meaning and purpose in life. [12] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Since HSPs and empaths both get overstimulated easily, decompressing in nature can give you time to process, rest, and recover. [13] X Research source
- Decorate your indoor spaces with live plants, take a walk or eat a meal outdoors, plant flowers or herbs, visit a nearby park or stream, or plan a weekend at a national park. [14] X Research source
- One study found that a majority of HSPs value spending time in nature to rejuvenate. [15] X Research source
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Process your feelings with a therapist. Talking with a counselor or therapist might give you a supportive space where you can talk about your feelings. They might also give you tools to set up boundaries, increase your self-acceptance and self-esteem, and feel stronger when faced with challenges. [16] X Research source
- If you aren’t an HSP or an empath, a mental health professional might be able to help you tackle why you might be absorbing others’ emotions.
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Tips
- Highly sensitive people might also enjoy work-from-home jobs where they can control external stimuli, like the lights, the temperature, or what clothes they wear. [44] X Research sourceThanks
- Empathic traits can also be due to an anxious attachment style or codependency. [45] X Research sourceThanks
- If you can only take 2 to 3 hours of socializing at a time, take your own car or make an alternative transportation plan so you can go home when you want to. [46] X Research sourceThanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/setting-healthy-boundaries-in-relationships.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201102/secrets-sensitive-people-why-emotional-empaths-stay-lonely
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/art-and-science/201801/identifying-your-feelings
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-ecstasy-surrender/201412/tips-sensitive-people-protect-their-energy
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK207188/box/part1_ch4.box5/?report=objectonly
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/yoga-for-better-mental-health
- ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/empath
- ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/7-ways-empaths-are-more-sensitive
- ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-rituals-work/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/signs-you-need-a-little-me-time
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201201/6-reasons-you-should-spend-more-time-alone
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/nurtured-nature
- ↑ https://www.health.com/condition/mental-health-conditions/highly-sensitive-person-empath
- ↑ https://extension.usu.edu/mentalhealth/articles/simple-ways-to-spend-more-time-in-nature
- ↑ https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/brb3.242
- ↑ https://www.mhanational.org/therapy
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/highly-sensitive-person
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8700833/
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/highly-sensitive-person
- ↑ https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/self-regulation-anxious-attachment-triggers/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/what-is-an-empath
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-freedom/201602/10-traits-empathic-people-share
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/what-is-an-empath
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/what-is-an-empath
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/what-is-an-empath
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/202105/9-ways-cultivate-positive-mindset
- ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3126102/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/highly-sensitive-person
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8305859/
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2022/04/cover-science-creativity
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513638/
- ↑ https://www.mhanational.org/help-others
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nurturing-self-compassion/201703/how-cultivate-more-self-compassion
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/try_selfcompassion
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-freedom/201101/the-5-kinds-emotional-vampires-you-could-encounter
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-avoid-being-drained-by-energy-vampires
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-avoid-being-drained-by-energy-vampires
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-relatable-therapist/202306/the-benefits-of-being-highly-sensitive
- ↑ https://time.com/6259002/why-sensitivity-is-a-strength/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2023/04/sensitivity-can-be-a-superpower-at-work
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/empathy.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/empathy
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/trust-yourself/202106/14-traits-of-highly-sensitive-people
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/empaths-are-real
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-ecstasy-surrender/201412/tips-sensitive-people-protect-their-energy
About This Article
Article Summary
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It can be overwhelming if you constantly absorb other people’s emotions, but you can learn to prioritize your own by setting firm boundaries. Start by telling your loved ones what you need so that you can have space to decompress. For example, you could say, “I need some downtime to process what you’ve just told me. Can we talk again in half an hour?” It can also help to set time limits if someone is overwhelming you. For example, you could listen to them talk about their problems for 20 minutes and then make an excuse and leave. To stop absorbing other people’s emotions, you also need to look after yourself. Make your own, private space if you live with other people so that you have somewhere you can go when things get too much. For more advice from our counselor co-author, like how to manage your emotional overload, read on!
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