This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
and by wikiHow staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA
. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
There are 9 references
cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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From crossed arms to furrowed brows, the majority of our communication is nonverbal, which means that knowing how to interpret body language is essential to fully comprehending what someone is trying to say. But when it comes to crossed arms, a popular form of body language, how do we interpret them? Do crossed arms mean someone is angry? Afraid? Closed off? There’s more than one way to interpret crossed arms: we’ve compiled a list of them all, below.
Things You Should Know
- Crossed arms may make you come off as rude, angry, or resistant.
- Someone may cross their arms when they are insecure, anxious, or stressed.
- People may also cross their arms for practical purposes, such as to stay warm if they are chilly, or to support their shoulders if they're sitting in an armless chair.
Steps
Possible Meanings
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1Stress or insecurity When someone is feeling uncomfortable during a conversation, or when the person they are talking to says something that triggers their anxiety, they may cross their arms in a subconscious attempt to protect themselves. [1] X Research source
- People may also cross their arms when they feel low self-esteem. Essentially, by crossing their arms, they are hugging themselves.
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2Anger or defensiveness You might see someone cross their arms when they hear something that makes them angry or upset, or when they disagree with what’s being said. Crossing your arms is a subconscious way to create a barrier between you and the person speaking. [2] X Research source
- Even if someone says, “Oh, interesting, go on,” crossed arms suggests they may not really be on board with what they’re hearing.
- In addition to crossing their arms, someone who is upset may also frown, get quiet, furrow their brows, or snap at you.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1440 wikiHow readers who understand body language, and only 9% of them agreed that the best way to tell if someone is angry is if they furrow their eyebrows. [Take Poll] However, if this is accompanied by crossing their arms, it’s likely a good sign they’re upset.
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3Determination or arrogance You might see folks engaged in a debate folding their arms to their chest. Crossing their arms over their chest may convey persistence or triumph. (And sometimes just ego.) [3] X Research source
- What else is their body doing? Arrogance or determination might be accompanied by bright eyes or a smirk.
- If you want to display power or confidence, try to avoid crossing your arms, as it may make you seem more cocky than self-assured.
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4Practical reasons If you’re speaking to someone and it seems like it’s going well, but then they cross their arms, give them the benefit of the doubt: the AC might be a notch too high, and they may be hugging their chest to keep warm. Or perhaps they're sitting in an armless chair and need to cross their arms to support their shoulders. [4] X Research source
- While body language can accompany and supersede what someone is saying, their own bodily needs—to stay warm, for instance—may outweigh their need to nonverbally express themselves.
Using Context
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1To understand crossed arms, read other nonverbal cues. Crossed arms on their own can be confusing: do they mean the person you’re talking to is angry or uninterested in what you’re saying? Are they anxious? Or are they perhaps focused on the interaction? Observe their eye contact, tone, posture, and other nonverbal cues to get a fuller understanding of what someone means when they cross their arms in a specific context. [5] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- If you’re talking to someone whose arms are crossed but who is maintaining eye contact, leaning forward, speaking with a warm tone, and nodding, it is likely their crossed arms are a sign of engagement in the interaction.
- If they are tapping their toes, leaning away from you, and glancing around, they may be irritated or impatient to end the conversation.
- Be aware of your own verbal and nonverbal cues: if the other person is mirroring your body language, this may indicate they are invested in the conversation.
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2Pay attention to inconsistencies in verbal and nonverbal communication. Body language can tell us a lot about what a person is feeling or thinking. Even if someone says “Yes,” their body language may be saying “No”: they may be shaking their head, or they may be fidgeting to indicate anxiety. [6] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- If someone’s body language doesn’t seem to match their words, it may be worth it to ask for clarification.
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3Be aware of cultural body language traditions. While much of body language is universal (for instance, most facial expressions), there are certain types of nonverbal communication that are informed by different cultures. If you’re not sure how to interpret a certain gesture, consider that it may mean something different in another culture. [7] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- For instance, while in English-speaking countries, the OK sign usually expresses a positive message, it is viewed as offensive in certain other countries, including Brazil and Germany.
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4Use your instincts to interpret nonverbal communication. If you’re having trouble telling what someone’s crossed arms mean, and their other nonverbal cues aren’t helping, use your instincts to guide your interpretation. For instance, if you feel that things are going well, they likely are. If you get a sense someone isn’t being forthright, stay on alert. [8] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- At the end of the day, body language isn’t an exact science! Nonverbal cues can tell us a lot—but they can’t tell us everything.
Body Language Facts
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1The majority of human communication is nonverbal. To be precise, human communication is 55% nonverbal, 38% vocal (hmms and sighs—that sort of thing), and 7% words only. Only 7%! This means that while words matter, how someone interprets those words relies a great deal on whether a person is smiling, frowning, shrugging, or crossing their arms when they say them. [9] X Research source
- That said, communicating with body language isn’t an exact science, as we’ve proved with our dissection of the many ways crossed arms could be interpreted. One person’s arched eyebrow may be another person’s toe-tapping.
- Our interpretations of someone’s body language may also be biased: for instance, people with lower voices tend to be perceived as more authoritative than people with higher voices. [10] X Research source
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2We all automatically read body language while socializing. It might seem like someone’s words should matter more than what their arms, eyes, or shoulders are doing, but the truth is we all pick up on hand gestures, posture, and microexpressions instantly while we communicate with other people, even if we’re not consciously aware of it. What someone is saying could be completely opposite to what their body is suggesting. [11] X Research source
- By “microexpressions,” we mean brief, subtle facial expressions—such as squinting or pursing lips. (Unlike a more overt, prolonged facial expression, it’s hard to fake a microexpression.)
Tailoring Body Language
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1Stand up straight and make eye contact to show confidence. Slouching and avoiding making eye contact may signify that you have low self-esteem or are feeling anxious. Eye contact indicates to other people that you are paying attention to them and are self-assured.
- Use confident body language to ace a job interview or when interacting with your crush. [12] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- Crossed arms can indicate confidence or perseverance, but because they can also suggest anger or arrogance, fold your arms with discretion.
- During high-anxiety situations, keep your hands busy with other activities—such as notetaking, during an interview—so that you don't fidget.
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2Make a good first impression by giving a firm handshake . You’ve probably heard that you can tell a lot about a person by their handshake, and that’s true. A firm—but not too firm—handshake shows that you are self-assured and capable. Too firm, and you may come off over-eager or un-self-aware.
- Initiate the handshake: this will make you appear confident and friendly. [13] X Research source
- While you want your grip to be firm, don't exceed the firmness of the other person's grip.
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3Smile to appear easygoing and friendly. Smiling not only indicates to others that we are relaxed and having a good time; it also tricks our own minds into relaxing and feeling happier! [14] X Research source
- But make sure your smile is genuine: fake smiles are fairly easy to identify. Real smiles engage the whole face, while fake smiles only engage the mouth.
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4Mirror other people's body language to show you're invested. Whether you're on a first date with someone you like or you're in a conversation with a coworker, show the other person you’re interested in what they’re saying by mirroring their body language. Mirroring is a subconscious way to indicate you are paying attention to someone. [15] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- Keep your body facing theirs. Toes pointed at your date suggest you are interested in them, while feet pointed away suggest you’re ready to take off. [16] X Research source
Expert Q&A
Tips
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References
- ↑ https://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/chap4.html
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/meeting-body-language-mistakes-2016-3#-1
- ↑ https://atlanticrecruiters.com/body-language-tips-to-nail-your-job-interview/
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/meeting-body-language-mistakes-2016-3#-1
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
- ↑ https://online.utpb.edu/about-us/articles/communication/how-much-of-communication-is-nonverbal/
- ↑ https://online.utpb.edu/about-us/articles/communication/how-much-of-communication-is-nonverbal/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/body-language
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/handshake/
- ↑ https://www.sclhealth.org/blog/2019/06/the-real-health-benefits-of-smiling-and-laughing/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
- ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/body-language-signs-first-date_n_5c42108ee4b027c3bbc18038
About This Article
Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.