How to Move On From a Girl You Like

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What to do when you can’t stop thinking about a girl
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We’ve been there: You just can’t get her out of your head, even when you know you can’t be with her. It’s tough, but it won’t be tough forever, and we’re here to help you move on and find yourself again. We talked to relationship coach Amy Chan and licensed counselor Casey Lee to bring you the best ways to get your mind off of this particular girl and reclaim your life.

Moving On from a Girl

  1. Let yourself feel your emotions, don’t suppress them.
  2. Cut off as much contact as you can.
  3. Unfollow or block her on social media.
  4. Get rid of things that remind you of her.
  5. Spend time with family and friends.
  6. Distract yourself with your passions and hobbies.
  7. Get back into the dating pool when you feel ready.
1

Accept your feelings for her.

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  1. Chan says that “When you try to repress your anger and emotions, stress skyrockets.” [1] It’s normal to want to avoid thinking about how you feel, but this just makes you think about it more. The only way to stop feeling this way is to acknowledge your emotions . Put your feelings into words, and tell yourself it’s okay to have them. [2]
    • Say, “I really thought I had a future with her. These feelings are normal and it’s okay for me to still have them.”
    • Try writing out your feelings in a journal to get them outside of your head.

    Tip: It’s okay to feel sad or cry about your feelings. This can be painful, but you will start to feel better in time.

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2

Limit or cut off contact.

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  1. If it’s possible, stay away from places you know she’s likely to be. Switch up your routine so that you’re less likely to see her. Use this as an opportunity to try a new coffee shop or restaurant, as well as a new path to work or class. [3]
    • Sometimes you can’t avoid seeing a person, and that’s okay. Just do your best to minimize encounters with her.
3

Disconnect on social media.

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  1. Chan recommends a digital detox. While social media is great for staying connected, it can make it really hard to let go of someone. It’s normal to want to check up on her, but this will just make it take longer to get over her. Instead, cut all ties on social media. This will help you get her out of your thoughts. [4]
    • You might even block or mute her, so you never have to see her posts, even if mutual friends share them.
    • If you have mutual friends that post photos of her often, you might want to unfollow them, as well. You can always re-follow them later when you’ve moved on.

    Tip: If you can’t stop looking at her page, use an app that limits the time you can spend on social media sites. For instance Offtime and Moment both work on iPhone and Android.

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4

Keep yourself busy.

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  1. You won’t have time to think about the girl you like if you’re busy doing something else. Make a schedule for yourself by first listing the most important things you need to do. Then, plan some fun activities to help yourself feel better. Finally, decide how you will occupy yourself during your free time. [5]
    • In the early morning, you might go for a jog, check your newsfeed, and play with your pet.
    • During mid-morning through the afternoon, you might attend school or go to work. If you don’t have either, go out with your friends, take an online class, or pursue a hobby.
    • It’s common to have free time late in the day, so plan multiple activities. Make a dinner date with your family or a friend, then watch a movie or do something creative. You might also work on your homework or read a book.
5

Ditch things that remind you of her.

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  1. Chan tells us to get rid of things that you associate with her and which could trigger negative emotions. [6] Donate gifts and trinkets to a local thrift shop, and toss any paper mementos, like notes or photos. Don’t forget to go through your phone or computer to delete photos, messages, and other content that makes you think of her. [7]
    • If you’re struggling to let go of these items, ask a friend or relative to help you.
    • If you don’t think you’re ready, put the items in a box and place it somewhere out of sight. Then, let it go when you feel up to it.
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6

Dive into your own passions.

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  1. Try to have as much fun as possible. Not only will this help distract you from your pain, it will also help you feel good about yourself and potentially meet a new girl. For instance, you might do something like: [8]
7

Surround yourself with people who love you.

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  1. Your family and friends can be a great support when you can’t stop thinking about a girl you like. Recruit them to help you have a good time so you avoid dwelling over your feelings for the girl. This will help you remember that you aren’t alone. [9]
    • Ask family members to enjoy dinner or a movie with you.
    • Invite your friends over for a game night or to binge watch a TV show.
    • Go out for coffee.
    • Plan a fun outing to an arcade, laser tag , or bowling.
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8

Redirect your thoughts.

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  1. While ignoring your thoughts won’t make them go away, replacing them might help you stop thinking about her. When you find yourself thinking about her, redirect those thoughts and think about your best friend, your pet, or a goal you have. This distraction might help you temporarily stop thinking about the girl you like. [10]
    • For instance, you might listen to your favorite album and try to remember all of the lyrics. Just make sure it isn’t an album that reminds you of the girl.
    • As another option, play a strategy game like Chess, Monopoly , or Total War: Warhammer. Focus your thoughts on trying to win the game.
9

Remind yourself of why it won’t work.

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  1. Whether she’s a crush or an ex, there’s a reason things didn’t work out between you. Reflect on the time you’ve spent together and why you’re apart now. Then, make a list of the reasons things didn’t work out to help you accept what happened. [11]
    • If she’s an ex, reflect on the good and bad of your relationship, as well as why it ended.
    • If she’s a crush, think about why you never got into a relationship. Perhaps she is dating someone else or has expressed that she just wants to be friends.
    • Chan says, “Sometimes a breakup is the shakeup needed when you need to redirect your life.” [12] Find the positives! What’s possible now that wasn’t possible before?
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10

Confide in someone you trust.

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  1. Lee says to “Go into the pain with another who is a safe person.” [13] Be honest about how you feel and let them comfort you. Additionally, listen to any advice they can offer. Your family and friends likely see things differently than you because they have an outside view of the situation. [14]
    • You might say, “I really loved this girl, and now I’m worried I’ll be alone forever.”
    • If you can, reach out to multiple friends and relatives so you have a big support system.
    • Keep in mind that friends and family, while well-intentioned, may not be equipped to give advice, and may instead project their own biases or dysfunctional beliefs onto you. If you'd like to just vent your feelings, put boundaries on the conversation first.
11

Engage with friends when she’s around.

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  1. If you must be in the same room as her, start a conversation with someone else to keep you occupied. As another option, you might do something on your phone, read, or write down your thoughts to help you avoid interacting with her. [15]
    • For example, you might share a class with the girl you can’t stop thinking about. Before and after class, try to talk to another classmate, or use your phone if it’s permitted.
    • During class, focus on the lecture and challenge yourself to take a lot of notes. Participating in class will also help you keep your mind on the topic and not the girl you like.

    Tip: If you are seated near the girl at work or school, talk to your teacher or boss to ask to switch. Tell them you want to make the switch because you believe it will help you learn or work better. Say, "I'd like to sit further away from the door so I'm less distracted."

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12

Let others know you don’t want to hear about her.

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  1. Don’t ask them to share stories or updates about her. Instead, let them know that you’re trying to let go of your feelings and aren’t interested in what’s going on with her. This will help you get your thoughts off of her. [16]
    • Say, “I’m trying to stop thinking about Emily, so please don’t tell me what she’s been doing lately.”
13

Make personal goals to focus on.

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  1. Make a list of what you want most in life, such as getting your dream job or running a marathon . Then, write out the steps you need to take to reach that goal. Next, carve out some time in your schedule so you can start tackling those steps. Soon, you’ll be moving forward in life and leaving her behind. [17]

    Tip: Think of goals that don’t have to do with love. For example, your goal might be making the soccer team, going bungee jumping, writing a novel, getting into a top college, earning your degree, getting your dream job, or doing an overnight backpacking trip.

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14

Work on yourself.

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  1. When you find yourself obsessing about someone, it’s often because you feel like you’re missing something in your life. Fortunately, you already have the tools to fix that because you’re the only one who can complete yourself. Adopt new habits to help yourself feel more like the person you want to be. You might try the following: [19]
    • Spend time on your relationships with family or friends.
    • Do 30 minutes of exercise 5-7 times a week to support your health.
    • Organize your living space.
    • Start a new hobby .
    • Set and pursue a new educational or career goal, like going to college or getting a promotion.
15

Talk to someone new.

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  1. Hang out with your female friends or try to make a few new friends . Don’t worry about if you want to pursue them romantically. Just recognize that other girls are out there, and each one is awesome in her own way. This will help you realize that you will find another great girl when you’re ready to look for love again. [20]
    • Avoid comparing other girls to the girl you like; you’ll just start thinking about her again.
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16

Dive into the dating pool.

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  1. Don’t rush to date again because you need time to heal. However, it’s good to open up your heart again when the time is right. When you're ready, ask a new girl on a date or accept her invitation, if she asks first. [21]
    • Start slowly. When you go on a first date with a new girl you like, take it easy and have fun.
    • Don't talk about the girl you liked before. Otherwise, the girl you’re interested in now might think you’re not ready to date again.
17

Look for closure.

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  1. Sometimes, it’s a lock of closure that stops you from moving on. If things ended ambiguously, you might consider asking for that closure. Or, if you don’t want to talk to her, get closure in other ways, like by telling yourself that things are over, once and for all. [22]
    • You might send a polite text that says, “Hey, it bugs me how things ended, so I just wanted to say I hope you’re doing well. I won’t contact you again.”
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18

Talk to a pro.

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  1. You might find that nothing is helping you feel better, and that’s okay. A counselor or therapist can help you recognize your feelings and use mental strategies to move past them. They’ll also help you build your self-esteem so you feel more confident . [23]
    • Look for a counselor or therapist online or ask your doctor for a referral. Your school may also offer counseling services.
    • If you have insurance, some of your sessions may be covered.

Get Over Your Crush with this Expert Series

Crushing over someone you can't have is both draining and distracting. Learn how to move past these feelings and take back control of your life with this expert series.
1
Stop Being in Love With a Person You'll Never Meet
2
Effective Ways to Get Over Someone You Love
3
How to Get Over Someone You Can't Have or Never Dated
4
Stop Loving the Girl of Your Dreams
5
Stop Liking Someone
6
Overcome an Infatuation

Community Q&A

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  • Question
    What if you feel guilty about not having closure?
    Danielle Husband
    Community Answer
    Sometimes you won't get closure. However, you can try talking to someone to vent your feelings. You could also write her a letter that you don't plan to send. Write out all of your thoughts, then burn or throw away the letter.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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  • Question
    What if my closest friend wants me to talk to her? Should I break my friendship with him/her also?
    Danielle Husband
    Community Answer
    Talk to your close friend to let them know how you feel. If they keep pressuring you, tell them you will spend less time with them if they don't stop. This should help. If you feel like you need a break, it's okay to take one.
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  • Question
    I see her in my dreams what should I do? What do I do if I feel suicidal?
    Danielle Husband
    Community Answer
    If you feel suicidal, you need to visit your doctor immediately or call a help line. You can call or text with the Suicide Prevention Hotline or your local mental health hotline. In the meantime, talk to someone you trust. These feelings will pass in time, so don't try to harm yourself.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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      Tips

      • Avoid turning to substances like alcohol or drugs to make yourself feel better. These will only hurt you in the long run.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • When a relationship doesn't work out, it's likely you're reviewing all of the good memories and positive attributes of her. Take time to remember some of the bad or annoying things about her, too. It will help you realize she's not perfect, and you'll be able to see there's someone better for you.
      • If possible, avoid being friends with her, at least for a little while so you can heal from the heartbreak. Instead, spend time with close friends or make new friends.
      • Live life to the fullest. Spend time outdoors to enjoy the scenery and the company of other people. It can help pass the time.
      • Use your anger or sadness as motivation to pursue new hobbies, activities, or accomplishments.
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      References

      1. ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
      2. ↑ https://www.ditchthelabel.org/10-dos-and-donts-when-dealing-with-rejection/
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-when-you-still-love-your-ex
      4. ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/head-games/201806/3-ways-to-get-over-your-ex
      6. ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201501/7-mistakes-you-need-to-avoid-after-a-breakup
      8. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-what-why-when-and-how-of-detaching-from-loved-ones#tips-for-letting-go
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-when-you-still-love-your-ex
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-mishaps/201505/how-to-stop-thinking-about-someone
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201606/how-to-get-over-an-ex-and-2-major-mistakes-to-avoid
      3. ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
      4. ↑ Casey Lee. Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). Expert Interview. 20 June 2022.
      5. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/rejection.html
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-when-you-still-love-your-ex
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-when-you-still-love-your-ex
      8. ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/how-to-deal-with-rejection/
      9. ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
      10. ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/how-to-deal-with-rejection/
      11. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/this_is_your_brain_on_heartbreak
      12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201602/is-why-its-crucial-get-over-your-ex
      13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-angry-therapist/202003/how-to-get-closure
      14. ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/breakup

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      If you want to forget about a girl you like, know that it may be hard and painful at first, but you’ll feel better with some time. Instead of focusing on your feelings for her, try to keep yourself busy with fun activities like hanging out with your family and friends or pursuing a new interest like joining a sports team. Since it’s easier to let go of someone the less you interact with them, unfollow her on social media so you’re not tempted to check up on what she’s doing. If possible, try to change up your routine too so you don’t run into her in places you normally would. For example, you can take a different route to class if you know she’s usually somewhere along your regular path there. For more tips, including how to start dating again when you feel ready, scroll down!

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