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What to do when you can’t stop thinking about a girl
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We’ve been there: You just can’t get her out of your head, even when you know you can’t be with her. It’s tough, but it won’t be tough forever, and we’re here to help you move on and find yourself again. We talked to relationship coach Amy Chan and licensed counselor Casey Lee to bring you the best ways to get your mind off of this particular girl and reclaim your life.
Moving On from a Girl
- Let yourself feel your emotions, don’t suppress them.
- Cut off as much contact as you can.
- Unfollow or block her on social media.
- Get rid of things that remind you of her.
- Spend time with family and friends.
- Distract yourself with your passions and hobbies.
- Get back into the dating pool when you feel ready.
Steps
Get Over Your Crush with this Expert Series
Crushing over someone you can't have is both draining and distracting. Learn how to move past these feelings and take back control of your life with this expert series.
Community Q&A
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QuestionWhat if you feel guilty about not having closure?Danielle HusbandCommunity AnswerSometimes you won't get closure. However, you can try talking to someone to vent your feelings. You could also write her a letter that you don't plan to send. Write out all of your thoughts, then burn or throw away the letter.
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QuestionWhat if my closest friend wants me to talk to her? Should I break my friendship with him/her also?Danielle HusbandCommunity AnswerTalk to your close friend to let them know how you feel. If they keep pressuring you, tell them you will spend less time with them if they don't stop. This should help. If you feel like you need a break, it's okay to take one.
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QuestionI see her in my dreams what should I do? What do I do if I feel suicidal?Danielle HusbandCommunity AnswerIf you feel suicidal, you need to visit your doctor immediately or call a help line. You can call or text with the Suicide Prevention Hotline or your local mental health hotline. In the meantime, talk to someone you trust. These feelings will pass in time, so don't try to harm yourself.
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Tips
- Avoid turning to substances like alcohol or drugs to make yourself feel better. These will only hurt you in the long run.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- When a relationship doesn't work out, it's likely you're reviewing all of the good memories and positive attributes of her. Take time to remember some of the bad or annoying things about her, too. It will help you realize she's not perfect, and you'll be able to see there's someone better for you.
- If possible, avoid being friends with her, at least for a little while so you can heal from the heartbreak. Instead, spend time with close friends or make new friends.
- Live life to the fullest. Spend time outdoors to enjoy the scenery and the company of other people. It can help pass the time.
- Use your anger or sadness as motivation to pursue new hobbies, activities, or accomplishments.
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References
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.ditchthelabel.org/10-dos-and-donts-when-dealing-with-rejection/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-when-you-still-love-your-ex
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/head-games/201806/3-ways-get-over-your-ex
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201501/7-mistakes-you-need-avoid-after-breakup
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-what-why-when-and-how-of-detaching-from-loved-ones#tips-for-letting-go
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-when-you-still-love-your-ex
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-mishaps/201505/how-stop-thinking-about-someone
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201606/how-get-over-ex-and-2-major-mistakes-avoid
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ Casey Lee. Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). Expert Interview. 20 June 2022.
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/rejection.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-when-you-still-love-your-ex
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-when-you-still-love-your-ex
- ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/how-to-deal-with-rejection/
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/how-to-deal-with-rejection/
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/this_is_your_brain_on_heartbreak
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201602/is-why-its-crucial-get-over-your-ex
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-angry-therapist/202003/how-to-get-closure
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/breakup
About This Article
Article Summary
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If you want to forget about a girl you like, know that it may be hard and painful at first, but you’ll feel better with some time. Instead of focusing on your feelings for her, try to keep yourself busy with fun activities like hanging out with your family and friends or pursuing a new interest like joining a sports team. Since it’s easier to let go of someone the less you interact with them, unfollow her on social media so you’re not tempted to check up on what she’s doing. If possible, try to change up your routine too so you don’t run into her in places you normally would. For example, you can take a different route to class if you know she’s usually somewhere along your regular path there. For more tips, including how to start dating again when you feel ready, scroll down!
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Reader Success Stories
- "I don't know really but my life is in a mess right now, and it's nice to have some advice to fix my broken heart. I don't really have anyone to open up to about my problems, so this article is really a huge bonus for me. I feel almost better already." ..." more
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"I don't know really but my life is in a mess right now, and it's nice to have some advice to fix my broken heart. I don't really have anyone to open up to about my problems, so this article is really a huge bonus for me. I feel almost better already."
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"Keep yourself busy, make yourself useful, and that will work for feeling confident and secure. You won't forget her completely, but you'll be able to move on. There are other things in life that makes you feel happy and accomplished."
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"I think about my ex a little bit each day, and she dumped me 10 years ago. I have done just about everything in this article, but it's good to know that when I'm feeling down, I can read things like this to make me feel better."
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"This girl in my class just got a boyfriend, but I like her a lot. She has been very happy, so I have used all of the tips on this, and now I don't like her that much anymore. This is a 100% lifesaver."
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