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Getting over any breakup is tough, but you might find it particularly challenging if you still love your ex. Don’t worry—we’re here to help you get through this. Keep reading for plenty of tips on how to get distance from your ex, stay busy, and make peace with everything that’s happened. Here are 16 ideas to help you start healing.

1

Stop calling, texting, and emailing.

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  1. You’re not doing this to create tension or make the person miss you—you’re doing it to give yourself the opportunity to heal and start fresh without them. [1]
    • If cutting contact with your ex is too difficult, get accountability and ask friends to help you stay away. You might also temporarily move your ex’s phone number and email addresses to your block list. You can always unblock them once you’re in a better place.
    • If you share kids or pets or study/work in the same place as your ex, it may not be possible to totally cut contact. In this case, limit contact to discussions relating to the immediate context only, such as discussing a work project.
    • If your ex wants to stay in touch with you, ask them to respect your desire to cut off contact for a while. If they continue to contact you, consider changing your phone number and email address.
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2

Unfollow them on social media until the feelings fade.

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  1. Stop following them so you can focus on yourself for a while. This also helps you avoid the temptation of reaching out to your ex. [2]
    • You can always re-follow them later.
    • If your mutual friends bring up your ex on social media a lot, consider unfollowing them as well. If your social circles overlap too much, it might help to take a break from social media altogether.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 581 wikiHow readers about how they use social media after a breakup, and 49% of them said that they block their ex and make their profile private . [Take Poll]
3

Stay away from the places they usually frequent.

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  1. Try to establish new hangouts that aren’t places they go or places you used to visit together. [3]
    • If you do happen to run into your ex, keep the interaction brief. A curt “hi” before ducking out is appropriate.
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4

Return, store, or trash relationship memorabilia.

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  1. Get rid of gifts, personal items, and miscellaneous things that make you think of your ex. Mail anything you think they may want back, box away mementos that you’d like to keep, and donate or trash the rest. [4]
    • Removing reminders not only helps you get distance from your ex, but it’s also a symbolic way to start fresh with new things and new memories.
5

Move to a new location if possible.

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  1. Switching locations can save you from the distress of bumping into your ex. Even if moving to a completely new location is not feasible for you, you might be able to find a place that is farther away in the same town.
    • If you run into your ex at work all the time, consider searching for a new job or asking for a transfer to another location.
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6

Rekindle your old interests.

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  1. Think of parts of yourself that were dormant in the relationship and let them come out into the sunshine. [5]
    • For example, if your ex thought your dream of traveling the world was crazy, get started planning that trip you put off. If your ex suggested most of the clothes you wore, build a brand new wardrobe.
7

Shake up your routine.

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  1. Trying something new can help take your mind off your ex. Plus, it helps you make new friends and learn new things about yourself. Look for new activities that you find fun, exciting, personally fulfilling, or all of the above. For example, you might try:
    • Joining a community organization
    • Volunteering for a cause you care about
    • Joining a recreational sports team
    • Learning a new language
    • Participating in a book club or gaming club
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8

Hang out with friends and family.

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  1. Fill your social calendar with exciting activities, like a night out with your best buds or a fun getaway with your family. [6]
    • If you need to vent, tell the people you care about what you’re feeling and offer ways they can help. For instance, you might say, “I could really use a hug right now.”
    • While it can be healthy to vent a bit and get your feelings off your chest, resist the urge to talk about your ex all the time, or to ask people if they know what your ex is up to. Ask your family and friends to gently redirect the conversation if you end up dwelling on your ex too much.
  1. Establish a new reading or writing habit, do relaxation exercises to ease stress, or join a new gym. [7]
    • Relationships are really demanding of your time and energy. Use this time to focus on yourself—without feeling guilty.
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10

Date someone new when you’re ready.

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  1. You may tell yourself “I’ll never find anyone like my ex,” but how would you know if you never get back out there? Initially, take the pressure off yourself of finding “the one” and simply focus on meeting new and interesting people. [8]
    • Dating someone else can help you feel attractive and wanted, some things you may have struggled with after the breakup.
    • While casual dating can be fun, be sure not to use it as a bandage for your pain. Only start back dating when you have gotten some degree of closure about the breakup.
    • Before you start dating someone new, take time to assess your own expectations for a relationship and think about what you need from a partner.


11

Let yourself feel your feelings instead of numbing them.

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  1. Things like junk food, excessive shopping, alcohol, or drugs may be quick fixes, but they’ll only set you back further. [9]
    • Instead of engaging in destructive habits to cope with your feelings, do constructive things, like exercising , eating well , and leaning on friends.
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12

Give yourself room to grieve.

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  1. Try shouting, crying tears of frustration, or any other form of expression when you're overloaded with emotion. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes along. Try not to judge yourself. [10]
    • Set a deadline to allow yourself time to grieve the relationship properly. This could be 2 days, 2 weeks, or 2 months; just permit yourself to not be okay for a while. During this time, you might feel anger, confusion, or even relief.
    • Once your grief period has elapsed, try your best to re-engage with your life and the world, even if that’s just going to a friend’s house for an afternoon.
13

Stop playing into fantasies about your ex.

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  1. Doing this helps break the mirage that you lost the greatest person ever. It also helps you to maintain some objectivity moving forward. [11]
    • Make a list of the “bad side” to your ex, so you don't only focus on the good. For example, you might list hardships you went through together, such as if they cheated, lied, or failed to support you.
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14

Send love and light whenever you think of them.

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  1. You can’t just erase someone you cared about deeply, so don’t assume the love for your ex will just disappear. Instead of getting mad at yourself for still caring, channel those feelings positively. Send well wishes to your ex whenever they cross your mind. [12]
    • For example, if you are overcome by memories of your ex, you might say aloud, “I wish him/her a healthy, happy life.” Breathe in deeply, exhale, and continue with your day.
    • Don’t beat yourself up if you still love the person long after the breakup. That’s okay, but that doesn’t mean you should have stayed in a relationship that didn’t work.
15

Write a letter to your ex for closure.

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  1. Feel free to go into vivid detail about what led up to the breakup, how you felt, and anything you want to get off your chest. Try to identify the role you played and strive to be forgiving of your ex for their part in things, too. [13]
    • You can mail the finished letter if you want, but you can also set it on fire or tear it to shreds.
    • Making peace with what happened in your relationship can help you move forward. Acceptance can also help you learn important lessons that you won’t have to repeat in the future.
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16

Be patient.

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  1. Simply take things a day at a time. With time, your feelings will start to lessen and you’ll feel more positive and hopeful about the future. [14]

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      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Unfollow your ex on social media so you don't see what they're up to. This prevents painful reminders and the temptation to connect. You can refollow later once feelings have faded.
      • Establish a "no contact" rule for a while, to help yourself heal. Ask friends to help you resist the urge to reach out. Minimal contact is understandable if you have kids together.
      • When nostalgic thoughts about your ex pop up, purposefully replace them with positive wishes, like "I hope they find happiness." Don't be hard on yourself for still caring.
      • Write an unsent letter explaining why the relationship ended from your point of view. Identifying your role can provide closure and important lessons for the future.
      • Shake up your routine with new hobbies, clubs, or activities. Meeting new people and revisiting old passions helps shift your focus to self-care.
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      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      Getting over any breakup is hard, but it can be especially challenging if you’re still in love with your ex. The first and most important step in moving forward is limiting contact with the person so you can get the space you need to get over them. If you don’t share children or pets, then try blocking their phone number and email account. You’ll also want to unfollow them on social media so you can focus on yourself for a while. This will also help you avoid the temptation to reach out to them. Bumping into your ex at the local bar or cafe can also set you back in your healing, so try to avoid places that they frequent for a while. In addition to limiting contact, give yourself the room to grieve. Try shouting, crying, or any other form of expression that feels right. As you move through these feelings, be patient with yourself. With time, your feelings will lessen and you’ll feel more hopeful about the future. To learn how to date someone new, keep reading!

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