How to Make Your Husband Fall in Love with You Again

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In a marriage, there are moments when tensions can run high and distance can grow. Many factors, like stress, exhaustion and lack of interest can affect your relationship and life together. If you already find yourself in such a situation, or if you just want to give your relationship a breath of new life, try reigniting romance and opening up communication. If the trust in your relationship has eroded, work to rebuild it.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Dating Your Husband

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  1. Ask your husband out. Take him to dinner, or dinner and a movie, or dancing. Pack a picnic for two. Ask him to meet you for lunch on a workday, or bike to brunch together on a sleepy weekend. Make it clear that it's a date: nobody else is invited, even the kids.
    • Dress up. Plan events that will require you to change out of your ordinary clothes. This could mean going to an elegant dinner, a dance class, or a themed event. It could even mean going swimming.
  2. Couples fall out of the habit of regular sexual encounters for a million reasons. The ways that you got together early in a relationship don't necessarily teach you how to maintain your sex life later on. Plan times and ways to have sex. If you always used to have sex at night, but are too tired now, find other times during the day.
    • Shower together, or fall in bed before dinner.
    • Please yourself. Be honest about what makes you orgasm, and what hurts or bores you. Ask for what you want: being selfless kills sex.
    • Ask him what he wants in return, and take turns satisfying one another's desires.
    • Make a date with him, and plan some creative details together (candles, costumes, trying something new.)
    • Having a plan will get you excited ahead of time.
    • Stick to it! Plans are useless if you don't follow through.
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  3. The intimacy built by physical contact cannot be underestimated. Whether or not your sex life is flourishing, your bodies should find their ways to one another. Hug him when he comes in the room, when he wants reassurance, or just when it occurs to you. Trade back massages, or offer to massage any part of him that is sore.
    • Kiss goodbye when one of you leaves the house, and kiss hello upon return.
    • Groom one another. Offer to brush his hair, or put his lotion or sunblock on. Ask for him to help you with your zipper, and offer to tie his tie.
    • Make eye contact when you talk. It is a powerful form of sensory connection. [1]
  4. Getting out of your ordinary spaces will allow you to break your ordinary habits and be more romantic . Go on a vacation together, without anyone else. Take a weekend trip, or just a night away from home, if you can't be away for long. Plan a vacation that won't be too stressful.
    • If one of you drives all the time for work, for instance, don't let it involve driving. Take the train or fly, or walk down the street to the local hotel.
    • Get nostalgic. Take a vacation to a place where you both had a lovely time together. Don't try to do everything exactly the same, but do the things you both liked best. Reminisce, and create new memories.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Refocusing Your Interactions

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  1. Expressing gratitude for your partner can powerfully strengthen your relationship. [2] Think about everything you appreciate about him: his character, his actions, what he does for you. Find a calm moment and tell him exactly how you feel. Write it out first if that helps you organize your thoughts.
    • Make a practice of thanking him specifically for kind things he does for you.
    • Expand on the "thank you." Explain the lovely qualities he has that cause him to act kindly. [3]
    • Instead of just saying "thanks for making me dinner. I loved it!" Say "Thank you for making me dinner. I see that instead of getting mad at me for being grouchy, you recognized that I was tired and hungry. You are a good cook, but you're also a truly thoughtful person."
    • Compliment him as well. The flirt will return to your relationship.
  2. Take time to pay attention to one another every day. [4] Spend at least an hour a week alone together, focused on one another. This could be a meal, a walk, or just a while sitting on the couch after your children have gone to bed.
    • Ban certain subjects during quality time. Whatever you normally talk about (work, the kids, health concerns, money concerns) should be banned for at least the first 20 minutes of your quality time. Talk about your less dire shared interests, the news, or anything other than your everyday concerns.
    EXPERT TIP

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    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
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    Keep the romance alive by showing you care with consistent effort. Plan fun outings together and include your husband in outings with family and friends.

  3. Sign up for classes and learn a new skill together, such as a language or a kind of cooking or dance. Go places together that you haven't gone before. Try to think of something you'd never do as a date, and then do that. The novelty will make your relationship feel young and new, and you'll get to see new sides of one another.
    • Play. Couples who have fun and laugh together have better marriages. Get in snowball fights, tease one another gently, throw a ball around, and tell jokes. [5]
  4. Sometimes you see things that your partner doesn't see, and sometimes your partner does something inconsiderate or ham handed. Try to limit your criticism to one instance a day. Before you offer criticism, think "is this worth biting my tongue later?"
    • When your partner complains, listen. Rather than give advice, offer sympathy. You can give advice if it's asked for, or suggest a new perspective if he is thinking himself into a rut, but you might do the most good just by attentively listening.
  5. Initiate the things that you really miss in your relationship. If you feel like you never talk anymore, start a conversation. If you used to always go out, ask him to go out. Initiating will give him the idea to reciprocate. [6]
    • If he doesn't reciprocate, then you can ask. For instance, if you are always taking all the pictures during family vacations and there are never any of you, hand him the camera.
    • Initiate first, ask second. Explain your frustration third. If you feel yourself getting frustrated, explain this calmly. [7]
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Part 3
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Rebuilding Trust

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  1. If one or the other of you has done something to damage your mutual trust, talk honestly about it. State your experience of the betrayal without trying to influence your husband's reaction. [8]
    • Write it as a letter. Get your own feelings straight by writing them out.
  2. If you two are ever going to rebuild trust, the person in the wrong needs to apologize. If you betrayed him, say you're sorry. State what you did wrong, and how you think it affected him. Say why it was wrong, and promise you won't do it again. [9]
    • If he betrayed your trust, ask for that sincere of an apology. If he isn't ready to apologize, then he isn't ready to love you again either.
  3. When the apology has happened, talk through the situation that was so hurtful. Don't dwell on the painful details, but do make sure you agree on what happened, why, and the reasons it hurt. [10]
  4. Write down what you would like to happen to your relationship, and have your husband do the same. You might find that you both want to make some changes. Working to rebuild trust might have the positive side effect of making some parts of your relationship stronger. [11]
    • If you find your goals differ, compromise to accommodate them all. For instance, if your husband wishes you had more together time, while you are longing for more time alone, try scheduling both quality together time and quality time apart.
  5. Find a therapist who specializes in dealing with couples like yours. If there was infidelity, find a therapist who specializes in marital therapy. [12] If you cannot get your husband to visit a counselor with you, see a counselor on your own.
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How Do You Make Someone Fall In Love With You?


Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can I reconnect with my husband?
    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
    Licensed Couples Psychologist
    Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.
    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
    Licensed Couples Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Talk with your husband about how you're feeling and the needs you feel haven't been met so you can work on a solution together.
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    Not Helpful 5 Helpful 16
  • Question
    How can I attract my husband emotionally?
    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
    Licensed Couples Psychologist
    Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.
    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
    Licensed Couples Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Tell him how much you appreciate him and give him compliments and affirmations.
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    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      References

      1. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_ways_to_renew_an_old_love
      2. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
      3. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_ways_to_renew_an_old_love
      4. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
      5. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_ways_to_renew_an_old_love
      6. ↑ https://www.today.com/health/30-easy-not-cheesy-ways-fall-love-your-husband-again-I554668
      7. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
      8. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/anger-management/art-20048149?pg=2
      9. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692?pg=2
      1. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/infidelity/art-20048424?pg=2
      2. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/infidelity/art-20048424?pg=2
      3. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/infidelity/art-20048424?pg=2

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      If you feel like things have gotten a little distant between you and your husband, try bringing back the spark by taking him out on dates. Dress up a little and go someplace fun or a bit fancy to make it feel special. Spend quality time together doing things you both enjoy, whether it’s bingeing a favorite show or going on a hike in the woods. Sex is important in many marriages, so make time for intimate fun now and then. Also try to practice other forms of physical affection, such as kissing, cuddling while you watch TV, or holding hands while you walk. Communicate with your husband openly and honestly, and make an effort to let him know what you appreciate about him. To learn how to rebuild trust with your husband, keep reading!

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