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It feels great to make your case and win an argument. However, at times it can be fairly difficult to win, especially if you know that you're wrong or your opponent is well-spoken and intelligent. Luckily, there are tactics and strategies that you can use to prove a point and be victorious. By discrediting your opponent and defending your false narrative, you can feel as if you've won even when you know you're wrong.
Steps
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Reject the validity of their sources. If your opponent comes at with you with evidence or statistics, do your best job to discredit their source. Talk about how their study wasn't big enough or how the reporting wasn't fact-checked or lacked integrity. Try to take the evidence that supports their claim and discredit it, so they can no longer use it in the argument.
- You can also say that the organization or institution that ran the study has a cultural or political bias.
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Ask distracting questions. Asking your opponent questions will give you control over the conversation and may have them scrambling for the correct answer. Use hypotheticals to turn your opponent's argument on its head, even if the hypothetical situation is incredibly unlikely to happen. [1] X Research source Question the person's integrity and motivations. Get them to question themselves and lose confidence in their stance.
- A good question to ask during an argument is, "What evidence do you have to prove that?"
- Ask an unrealistic hypothetical question such as, "If all men got paternity leave, what would happen if people just started having kids so they could take off work and get paid?"
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Claim your authority. Make it clear that you have a fuller and more robust understanding of the argument by outwardly telling the other person about the knowledge or experience that you have. The goal is to create a sense of credibility that will convince the other person that you are correct, even if they think you're wrong. [2] X Research source
- Use any professional or social experience you have to support your claims.
- Using anecdotal or one-off stories could help support your claim, even if the stories lack credibility in other situations.
- You can say something like, "I've worked in the media, and I know how it works. I've worked for major outlets for the last decade and I have a better view of things than the average person."
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Study the facts of the argument. If you have a suspicion that you'll have an argument, you can prepare beforehand. Research all aspects and views of the argument online. Not having the proper facts to back up your case can make it much harder to win. You can use stats, reports, and quotes as evidence to support your claims. [3] X Research source
- Find popular arguments or talking points that support your side of the argument and emulate them.
- Research opposing views so you know the probable points the other person may bring up and prepare retorts for those points.
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Redefine concepts. Most arguments involve complex or abstract ideas that people don't always think of how to open up. If the other members of the argument get caught off-guard, you can easily get others to accept your definitions of things.
- The subject of the argument itself can be redefined, but even when that is not the case, it is often defined by other concepts that can be defined again.
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Manipulate statistics and facts. Research the common arguments against you and find the reports or studies that are used to support those arguments. Think of ways that you can use those same statistics to support your side of the argument.
- For example, you can blame the decline in a school's grade point average to stupid students, when in reality it's more directly correlated to a lack of resources and understaffing.
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Go around the subject. Know how you can be proven wrong and what questions you can't answer, and avoid those areas.
- For example, if you know your moral theory falls apart on practical examples, answer vaguely on general levels.
- Sometimes switching between objective and subjective levels of thinking can lead to different conclusions, even if you know only one can be used correctly. If you're arguing against a subjective idea, move to a more objective viewpoint, whereas if you're objectively wrong, claim that your opinion is a subjective one and objective truth does not exist in the context.
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Do not become emotional. Becoming emotional in the midst of an argument can cloud your thoughts, escalate a conflict, and give your opponent the advantage. [4] X Research source Refrain from showing your emotion and do not raise your voice or yell. Keep your cool and practice self-control. If you can outwit and outsmart your opponent and get them to react emotionally, you'll have the upper hand in the argument.
- If you feel yourself getting angry, take deep breaths and use mental imagery to relax. Calm yourself by counting back from ten or repeating a calming word such as "relax" in your head. [5] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
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Do not concede ground. If you give the slightest inclination that you know you're wrong, the other person may take advantage of your weakness and exploit it. The best way to avoid this is to by repeating your talking points and to not concede ground. The only time in which you should concede a point is if it doesn't affect the outcome of the argument overall.
- An example of when to concede ground includes, "The prison system does not help with repeat offenders, but it still serves as a punishment for criminals." [6] X Research source #Redirect the conversation. If you are starting to lose the argument, you can defer attention to their previous acts to make your transgressions seem less severe. This is best used when the argument is personal in nature. Try to think of a situation in the past that's similar to this situation and pinpoint a time where your opponent acted poorly or in bad taste. Redirecting the conversation to their acts could sway the argument in your favor.
- For instance, you can say something like "You seem pretty upset that I kissed another boy. Is that because you did the same thing last year?"
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Actively listen to the person. Completely hear the other person out without interjecting, disagreeing, or judging them. Pay attention to what they are saying and say things like "Yeah, I understand" or "Uh huh." Make a conscious effort to hear them out and interpret their words to try to understand their perspective. [7] X Research source
- Another tactic in active listening is rephrasing their question back to them.
- Say something like, "So what you're saying is that you get angry because you work all day and the house is dirty when you get home?"
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Communicate your emotions. Talk to the other person and explain why you feel the way you feel. Explain why you felt the need to win the argument and how you feel about the situation overall. Even if you know you're wrong, it doesn't invalidate your emotions. If someone unintentionally hurt your feelings and started the argument, clear the air and explain your motivations.
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Change your attitude. Understand why you want to win even though you're wrong. Instead of thinking of interactions and discussions as a defeat or victory, consider what a mutual compromise can do for your life and your relationships. Aim for agreements that are mutually beneficial for all people involved. [8] X Research source If you win an argument but you know you're wrong, the temporary satisfaction of outwitting someone will eventually wear off. It's best to be yourself and win arguments that you truly believe in.
- Try to see the good in people. Instead of thinking that you want to beat this person, consider their good personality traits.
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Admit your weaknesses. For the argument or conflict to come to a reasonable resolution for both of you, you must understand why you want to win the argument. Many times it's because you don't want to accept the truth or you don't want to show your weakness or vulnerability. [9] X Research source
- Coming to a compromise or admitting your fault may have you feeling better than if you "won" the argument.
- Consider apologizing instead of arguing if you know that you're wrong.
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Community Q&A
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QuestionWhat should I do if someone insults me even after I've admitted that I was wrong?Community AnswerYou should point out to that person that they're being immature by continuing to insult you after you have already admitted that you were wrong. Adults, when confronted with someone admitting a mistake or fault, won't continue to be condescending and insulting.
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QuestionWhat's the single, most devastating, best refutation to win an argument?Community AnswerYou can literally win every argument with this fantastic phrase: "WRONG." Absolutely simple and effective.
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QuestionHow can I stop friends from pointing out my flaws and insecurities?Community AnswerJust tell them that they need to stop or they will be losing you as a friend. That is bullying, and you don't need to put up with it. If they continue doing this, distance yourself from them and find some new friends.
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Tips
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Instead of arguing when you know you're wrong, own up to it and admit you are wrong. Try to learn something from the experience and grow as a person.
- Always be calm and cool during an argument. This will help you navigate it more effectively, which will result in a more favorable outcome.
- Even if you do not have evidence, do not back down. Keep going. They will get confused, or they will get frustrated and quit.
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Expert Interview
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201408/6-ways-win-any-argument
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-happy-life/201910/how-do-you-win-argument
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201408/6-ways-win-any-argument
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/controlling-emotions-is-it-possible
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
- ↑ https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/grounds-moral-status/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/become-a-better-listener-active-listening
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/positive-mindset/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201703/the-mindset-makes-it-hard-admit-youre-wrong#
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