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Whether you are starting over due to a recently-ended relationship or marriage, you’re moving for a new job, or you lost everything in a fire or disaster, beginning a new life can seem overwhelming at first. However, with courage and determination, you may find that starting over is an opportunity to make your life even better.
Steps
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Decide what you want. You might be starting a new life because you want to make a change. Or, you might be starting a new life because you have to. Some personal tragedy may have destroyed your home, job, or relationship. Either way, the first step in starting over is knowing what you want from life.
- Even if you are not happy with beginning a new life, prioritizing what is important for you to do in this new life is helpful. Having clear goals and determining what you need to do to achieve them will help you feel more confident and optimistic about building your new life. [1] X Research source
- Taking the time to determine exactly what you want will get you thinking about the business items you need to take care of, as well as clarify what changes you are able to influence.
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Consider the consequences. If the life changes you are considering are of your own choosing, it is a good idea to spend some time thinking about the consequences your actions may have.
- Major life changes can be hard to undo. Spend some time considering what you will gain, and what you might be giving up by starting a new life.
- For example, perhaps you are contemplating selling your home and moving to another city. This new city may have much to offer, but once you've sold your existing home, it is unlikely you'll be able to get it back.
- Similarly, breaking off relationships with long-time friends or family members can create rifts that are very hard to mend, should you decide you want those people back in your life.
- The point here isn't that you should not begin a new life or make major changes. But, these decisions should be made only after careful consideration.
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Assess the obstacles. If beginning a new life was easy, people would do it all the time. The reason they don't is that there are many obstacles that can make major life changes difficult. Take some time to think about what might hold you back, so that you can plan for it.
- Perhaps you want to move and begin a new life in a different city or country. Determine what parts of your life will be affected. If you are moving far away, will you mind leaving your present community, friends and established patterns of coming and going? Compare the cost of living where you live now to where you want to go. Is it affordable? Are jobs in your field available? A move to an international location may take more thought and planning than a move elsewhere. Find out whether you must obtain permission to move to or work in your chosen destination. Likewise, finding housing, negotiating currency, banking and transportation will be much different from your current situation.
- If you do not have the funds to quit your job and start a new life surfing on the beach (or whatever your dream), you'll need keep your day job. This doesn't mean you have to give up your dream of surfing, but this is an obstacle you'll need to consider. You want to be sure your plans are as practical and realistic as possible.
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Make a plan. Consider what it is you'll need to do to achieve your goals and start your new life. This is your life: A proven plan to get from where you are to where you want to be. retrieved from www.michalehyatt.com</ref> It's a good idea to sit down with some paper and a pen and write this down. You'll probably go through several drafts as you consider and reconsider different approaches. [2] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source
- Divide your life into the major areas in which you intend to make changes. For example, you might want to change your career/job, location, significant other, friends, etc. [3] X Research source Hyatt, M. (nd) This is your life: A proven plan to get from where you are to where you want to be. retrieved from www.michalehyatt.com
- Next, as you list the changes in each area, prioritize them. Narrow down to the most important aspects of your life plan.
- Think about the practicality of beginning a new life. Consider the steps this will take and whether you have the funds, the support of others in your life, and the energy to undertake the changes necessary.
- For example, if you want to change careers, determine the steps you'll need to take and the parts of your life this will affect. Family, friends, education, salary, commute time, and hours worked are likely to be variables that change in your new life. Try to anticipate, as much as possible, how the changes you want to make will impact the different areas of your life.
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Take some time, then revise your plan. You'll probably need to create your “life plan” over a series of planning sessions. After you take some time away from your plan, other things to add will come up, and you may wish to eliminate items from the initial plan.
- Do not rush the process. As you add, subtract and prioritize your life areas, you break down a potentially overwhelming project into smaller, more manageable pieces of information and tasks.
- Throughout the process of building your new life, review the plan often, and make additional revisions as they become necessary.
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Take care of the business. In most cases, starting a new life will require spending some time organizing your finances. This often means calls or visits to your financial institutions. No one looks forward to dealing with these issues, but taking care of them early will make everything that follows easier.
- For example, if you're starting over because you've lost your home in a fire, you'll need to contact your insurance company right away to set wheels in motion for receiving compensation. [4] X Research source
- If your plans involve an early retirement, you'll need to contact the company that runs your retirement plan to see what options they have for you.
- If you've lost your job, you'll need to look into getting unemployment and/or food stamps while you work on developing your new career.
- None of this is glamorous or particularly fun, but all of these actions are important for making sure you have the resources you need for your new life.
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Start a new routine. Next, set about making a fresh routine for yourself that will help you fulfill your plan. Understand that this will unfold as you incorporate different behaviors in your new life.
- For example, you may now become an early riser. Perhaps you work from home instead of commuting. There is almost an infinite number of variables and changes one could make in beginning a new life.
- Some changes are determined by the choices you make in where you live, what you do, whether you have returned to school, if you have children or a partner, and ultimately, by the kind of life you wish to lead.
- It takes about three to six weeks to build a new routine that displaces your old one. After this period, your new routine will be a habit. [5] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
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Keep your focus on yourself. Do not compare yourself to others. Your journey is your path and yours alone.
- Focusing on what you don’t have, or what others have achieved will only make you miserable and self-critical. [6] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source Do the best to work with what you have to begin a new life.
- Spending time comparing yourself to others will only distract you from what you need to do to achieve your goals.
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Seek help. Starting a new life is a major task that will be made easier if you have the support of others. Whether your new life is one you've chosen or one that circumstances have forced upon you, a social support structure will be important.
- Having the emotional support from family, friends and others in the same or similar situations can help beginning a new life less stressful. [7] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- Especially if you are starting over because of a loss or tragedy, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a mental health professional. The help of a competent and compassionate therapist can help you heal. [8] X Research source
- Even if you've chosen to change your life, by moving to a new city for example, a counselor can help you adjust if you're having difficulty. You may be experiencing significant stress, a sense of being overwhelmed, or worries about how to manage in your new life. Mental health professionals are trained to listen, to be empathic and to help you find comfort in your present situation. [9] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
EXPERT TIPCertified Life CoachTracey L. Rogers is a Certified Life Coach and Professional Astrologer based in Philadelphia. Tracey has over 10 years of life coaching and astrology experience. Her work has been featured on nationally syndicated radio, as well as online platforms such as Oprah.com. She is certified as a Coach by the Life Purpose Institute, and she has an MA in International Education from George Washington University.Our Expert Agrees: When you feel overwhelmed or are worried about what other people think of your decisions, ask for help. Starting a new life can feel overwhelming but finding a life coach or therapist can help because they are always on your team and ready to give you support.
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Be patient. A new life is not created overnight. Understand that change and doing things differently is a process. Some parts of this process you will be able to control, and others you will not. [10] X Research source
- Time is an important factor in adjusting to your new life. If you are willing to trust the process, your new life will unfold, and you will adapt.
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Tips
- As in many things, figuring out what you want and how to enact your plan is the best way to begin a new life. It is similar to running a marathon. You don’t decide to run a marathon and go out the next day and run 26.2 miles (42.2 km). You plan, and gradually increase the distances you run each week.Thanks
- Be flexible. If you feel it isn't working out, don't give up. Change the things that aren't working, revise your plan, and move on.Thanks
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Warnings
- Think carefully before making major life changes. If you burn your bridges, you may not be able to rebuild them.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://actionforhappiness.org/take-action/set-your-goals-and-make-them-happen
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/7-ways-to-jumpstart-healthy-change-in-your-life
- ↑ Hyatt, M. (nd) This is your life: A proven plan to get from where you are to where you want to be. retrieved from www.michalehyatt.com
- ↑ https://www.ready.gov/home-fires
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3505409/
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_overcome_your_brains_fixation_on_bad_things
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2921311/
- ↑ https://uhs.berkeley.edu/coping-trauma-grief-loss-and-tragic-news-and-events
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/finding-a-therapist-who-can-help-you-heal.htm
About This Article
Article Summary
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Before you take steps to start your new life, write down your goals, then break down your goals into a series of small, manageable actions. Start incorporating your goals into a new daily routine, like getting up early if you are looking for a new job. These changes won’t feel natural overnight, so be patient through the process. If you’re having trouble adjusting to the change, talk to a friend who’s a good listener or seek out the help of a qualified counselor. Keep reading for tips from our reviewer on how to decide on a new path for your life!
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