How to Stay in a Long Distance Relationship When You're a Teenager

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Long-distance relationships can be challenging for teenagers. However, practicing communication, trust, and honesty will make them fun and rewarding instead! Your teenage years can feel like a crazy ride, and having a significant other to support you along the way is worth dealing with the distance. Here, we'll show you how to stay in a long-distance relationship as a teenager.

1

Set clear expectations for the relationship.

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    If you're going to be exclusive, make that clear from the start. Talk about how you can meet each other's needs and how your future together might look. You'll know that the relationship is worth your time and effort if you're both on the same page! [1]
    • "I want to give this relationship a shot, but it's important to me that we stay committed and exclusive. Can we do that?"
    • "I'd like to have a weekly date night. Does that work for you?"
    • Make a list of pros and cons to help you sort out your thoughts. Talking to your significant other is easier when you make a plan first.
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2

Schedule your phone chats.

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    Communication is key for any relationship, so agree on a schedule and decide whether you'll use phone calls, messaging apps, or other platforms to keep in touch. Chat with your significant other about everything, from the little details of your day to your deepest feelings. [2]
    • You don't need to talk every day or specify exact times. Just make sure you feel good about how often you're talking, and you know which days you're both free.
    • Make sure that you're putting in equal effort to stay in touch. Your significant other shouldn't do all the work, and neither should you.
    • Be careful about calling or texting too much. The distance can make you feel like you should talk all the time, but sticking to a schedule is easier.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 1306 wikiHow readers how they’re most likely to get to know their long-distance partner, and only 9% said by imagining being my partner . [Take Poll] Instead, scheduling time to talk can be a more effective way to connect with your significant other.
3

Discover your shared interests.

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    Whether you exercise regularly, schedule study time for a favorite subject, or read the same book together, you'll enjoy having something in common with your significant other. Plus, with shared interests, you'll never run out of things to talk about. [3]
    • If you both love music, share playlists and get to know each other's taste in music a little better!
    • If you're both gaming fans, find an online game that you can play together.
    • You could pick a hobby you both want to learn, like a sport or a new language, and try it out together.
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4

Plan virtual dates.

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    Try having a movie night while on the phone or going out for a FaceTime smoothie date. You could even go shopping or go for a walk while on a video call. If you're flexible and clever about coming up with date ideas, you can easily have fun together. [4]
    • A weekly TV show is perfect for setting up consistent date nights. Stay on the phone while watching together, or text your reactions.
    • Exchange recipes for date night dinners. You can cook together while video calling and share a romantic meal from miles apart.
5

Find new ways to stay in touch.

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    Spread out communication over a few different platforms to keep it fun and engaging for both of you. Phone calls are still great for regular chats, but you can also use apps like Snapchat and WhatsApp, or even a gaming app like Words With Friends. [5]
    • Think about adding variety to your texts. Send lots of pictures, GIFs, and audio memos alongside regular messages.
    • If you both have apps like Tumblr, Instagram, or Reddit, you can take turns sending each other funny memes and entertaining posts.
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6

Build your trust in each other.

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    It's natural to feel jealous when you care for someone, but that doesn't mean you should act on your feelings. Be consistent, honest, and enthusiastic instead. Learn to trust them so you can feel comfortable about your relationship, even from far away. [6]
    • Show consistency by calling when you say you will and showing up for virtual dates!
    • Always tell them the truth. If you say you're spending time with family and they discover you partied with friends, they may question your trustworthiness.
    Esther Perel, Psychotherapist

    Trust can be hard to build, but it's an essential part of any healthy relationship. "Trust is the active engagement with the unknown. Trust is risky. It’s vulnerable. It’s a leap of faith."

7

Talk about your worries openly.

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    It's tempting to bottle those feelings up, but you'll feel better once you've told your significant other about them. Encourage them to come to you with concerns too. The more you talk, the stronger your relationship will get. [7]
    • When you're jealous, tell them how you feel instead of getting angry. "Can we talk? I feel lonely and left out when you reschedule our phone calls to hang out with friends."
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8

Give them small gifts.

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    Once in a while, take the time to mail a handwritten letter or an old picture of you two. Give them something personal that will remind them of you! Simple and heartfelt gestures will deepen the connection between you and your significant other. [8]
    • If you have artistic skills, you could send them a drawing, song, or poem that you wrote.
    • Send a care package with their favorite snack—or, if you can bake something yourself, send a homemade treat instead.
9

Support one another through good and bad.

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    A good partner wants to hear about everything in the other's life, whether they're celebrating a college acceptance or dealing with a parent's divorce. Actively listen when they confide in you. Teenage years are a rollercoaster, but you can support one another through it all. [9]
    • Make sure there's a healthy amount of giving and taking between you. It isn't fair if one of you is doing all the listening and one is doing all the talking. Both of you should feel loved and supported!
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Being young often means facing a lot of unknowns. As you both mature and learn more about yourselves, your dreams and goals may evolve or create friction. Stay open to the idea that your plans may change, and be flexible as you navigate life's twists and turns together.

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10

Enjoy your time apart.

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    Being in a long-distance relationship is great, but you should feel comfortable doing your own thing. Hang with friends, work hard in school, and enjoy your hobbies. The distance between you can be a good thing because it gives you space to live your own life. [10]
    • Keep your relationships with family and friends strong. It's good to have other confidantes besides your significant other!
    • Let your friends know that you're in a relationship. Your parents should also know, but you may feel more comfortable telling friends first.
11

Plan out your next in-person meeting.

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    There is always the expectation in long-distance relationships that you'll see each other face-to-face once day! You might have to wait, especially if you don't have your own car, but you can make plans and save up for the big day. [11]
    • Make sure you talk about which of you is doing the traveling or where you'll both meet up.
    • If you need to save up money for travel, set reasonable goals and make a budget to find out exactly how much you need.
    • Meet up in person when you can, but don't be discouraged if you're too far apart or busy to meet as often as you want.
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12

Rethink your goals after a while.

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    As a teenager, you're still figuring out what you want in life—and it's totally normal to change your mind. You might have new expectations for your relationship months or years after it begins, so make sure you talk to your partner about any developments. [12]
    • For example, if you're planning to go away to college, talk to your significant other about how that might affect the relationship.
    • You might decide you want to text less and call more or change your FaceTime schedule. Tell your significant other so you can work together to make changes.
    • Teens dating long-distance have the exciting chance to learn and grow together. Respect your partner's needs and be honest about yours so you can overcome challenges together!


Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you maintain a long distance relationship when you're in high school?
    Connell Barrett
    Dating Coach
    Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."
    Connell Barrett
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Make sure you set aside some time to talk to each other on a regular basis. Some fun things you can do include talking on the phone, setting up a video chat, or watching a movie together at the same time.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://powertodecide.org/teen-talk/healthy-relationships-and-transitioning-high-school-college
      2. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/healthy-relationship.html
      3. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
      4. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/4-tips-for-maintaining-a-healthy-long-distance-relationship/
      5. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2020/08/26/906236738/long-distance-relationships-are-tough-heres-advice-for-making-them-work
      6. ↑ https://www.girlshealth.gov/relationships/healthy/index.html
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-teen-doctor/201805/5-ways-strengthen-long-distance-relationship
      8. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/g447/long-distance-relationship-ideas/?slide=7
      9. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/healthy-relationship.html
      1. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/healthy-relationship.html
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-teen-doctor/201805/5-ways-strengthen-long-distance-relationship
      3. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/chances-of-long-distance-relationship-working

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      Being in a long distance relationship can be tough, especially as a teenager, but there are ways to help you stay connected. Even though you're away from each other, that doesn't mean you can't do things together! Play games online together, watch the same movie, or video chat while you run errands. You can also plan your next visit so you both have something to look forward to. In the meantime, keep yourself busy with your hobbies and schoolwork. Use the opportunity to spend more time with your family and friends to strengthen your other relationships. If you find yourself missing your partner a lot, write them a letter by hand or send them a gift like a framed photo of you together. For more tips from our co-author, including how to tell your parents about your long-distance relationship, read on.

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