Breakups are always painful, but they're especially tough when the two of you still have feelings for each other. Unfortunately, sometimes people who love each other are pulled apart by things like distance, trouble communicating, trust issues, or having a different vision for the future. It might not feel like it right now, but you're going to feel better with time. And since you both still care, you might even find a way to still be friends one day in the future.
Steps
End an Engagement Smoothly with this Expert Series
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do I move on?Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.Try saying positive affirmations out loud to yourself, like "I love myself and I am enough."
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QuestionHow do you let someone go emotionally?Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.Try reading books on personal growth, listen to podcasts on healing from breakups, or talk to a therapist. All of these things can help you get insight into what you can learn from the relationship.
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QuestionHow do you let go of someone you love?Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.If one or both of you has decided it's really better to break up, getting some space will help you avoid the pull to get back together or hook up one last time—either of which will likely just prolong the end. Remember, just because you still care about your ex doesn't mean you should stop caring about yourself!
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References
- ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.
- ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
- ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
- ↑ https://www.mcgill.ca/counselling/files/counselling/surviving_a_break-up_-_20_strategies_0.pdf
- ↑ https://www.mcgill.ca/counselling/files/counselling/surviving_a_break-up_-_20_strategies_0.pdf
- ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laugh-cry-live/201803/breaking-when-youre-still-in-love-different-paths
- ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/dealing-with-a-breakup-or-divorce.htm
- ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-nourishment/201706/some-thoughts-independence
- ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
- ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
- ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.
- ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-relationships/202111/should-you-stay-friends-your-exes
- ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.
- ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
About This Article
Sometimes relationships don’t work out, even if you both still love each other. You’ll both have some complicated feelings to work through, so give each other space and time to heal. Spend some time grieving what you lost. Take care of yourself by getting plenty of rest, eating healthy foods, and doing things you enjoy. Reach out to supportive friends and family if you need someone to vent to. Take advantage of things you might not have been able to do while you were in a relationship, like making your own schedule or cooking meals your partner didn’t like. When you’re both ready, you might even reach out and see if your ex is interested in being friends.